Stand There and Watch Me Burn
by DenizenofTwilight
Summary: Naminé follows Marluxia's orders and destroys Sora's heart, therefore making Sora Marluxia's lifeless pawn. His love for Naminé being the only thing Sora believes in, what happens when he meets his real true love, but doesn't remember her? COMPLETE.
1. Singed

"_Do it, Naminé!_

_"Erase my memories. Destroy my heart. I promised! I'll always protect you! You have to believe me!"_

-/-/-/-

I looked out from The Castle That Never Was in what I hoped seemed unthinkingly. Naminé was sitting beside me whispering sweet nothings in my ear but I couldn't focus on them. Besides having the need to keep her safe, I hadn't felt anything for her lately. It hadn't been that way at first. Even when I'd woken up after Marluxia had destroyed my heart, I'd seen Naminé and in a way she was all I'd ever seen. Until recently that is.

"You seem troubled, Sora." For some reason I had to severely fight the urge to roll my eyes when Naminé said this. Wasn't it obvious?

I hadn't realized I'd spoken my query out loud.

"No it's not. Your heart was destroyed. You're not supposed to be able to feel anything. You're supposed to be like a Nobody."

There were many questions with what she said. However, I ended up choosing the most inconsequential thing to ask.

"What's a Nobody? It sounds familiar." As I turned to face Naminé, I almost missed the apprehensive look that graced her features. I was immediately upset, as I got the distinct impression that she was hiding something. How was it even possible I _could _be upset?

"Nobodies are beings without hearts. All of Organization XIII were Nobodies. Marluxia had you kill their old leader, Xemnas, as well as Xion… and Roxas. Some of the others too. He also made you help him enslave some of the remaining members."

"Right. Well at least it saved you in the end. Marluxia usually treats you like a princess now instead of a prisoner. Just for that I have no feelings of regret." I gave her one of my biggest grins hoping to reassure her. And myself. Ever since I'd spoken to _her _I'd felt a large amount of regret.

"A being without a heart, huh? _Shouldn't _I be a Nobody, then? My heart was destroyed. Isn't that the same as not having one?" Perhaps I wasn't the best thing for Naminé. If I couldn't treat her the right way, she probably should have been with someone else.

Naminé's face instantly held more determination than I'd ever seen from her. "Forget what I said. Sora, nothing could ever make you lose who you are." I instantly felt very cold. _She_ had said the same thing.

...

It had seemed like any other day. Marluxia had given me orders in his vain attempt to succeed with whatever his Superior had failed at, Xigbar was as lazy as ever and wouldn't go on his assigned mission. And Marluxia had once again locked up Naminé, whilst guaranteeing she'd be freed only if I completed my mission.

Yep, it had all started out the same. But there were some grave differences. For one, I didn't need Naminé threatened to get me to comply to missions anymore. My life just seemed so monotone and unending. I was sick of it all.

I had held up one hand; palm forward stopping Marluxia in his threats to Naminé. "I seriously get the picture by now. Just tell me where you need me to go." As I looked behind Naminé and Marluxia, the outside world started to seem so appealing.

When Marluxia had recovered his wits, he ended up having an edge in his voice I'd never heard before. "I'm giving you an easy mission today. A resistance against us has popped up and I've located one of the main leaders. Your job is to take her out."

I waited for Marluxia to clarify, but he never did. "What's her name?" I finally pressed.

"Knowing her name will only make it harder for you. I shall give you a picture of the menace."

I shrugged nonchalantly. This _was_ slightly different, but I longed to be free. It felt like my mind had to keep reminding my legs not to run. As always, it was Naminé who reminded me of my priorities.

"Marluxia, I don't think this is a good ide-" I fought the urge to rip Marluxia's arm out of its socket when he raised it against Naminé.

Instead I begged him to stop. "Just stop hurting her, Marluxia. You don't have to provoke me anymore. I have nowhere else to go and no one else to be." I hated myself for the awful truth but who would accept me now?

"You're right, Sora. This _is_ who you are and don't forget that. You'll find your target at this location."

It was then that Marluxia handed me a picture that Naminé had drawn. It showed a girl about my age looking out from her porch. I'd never understood how Naminé seemed to be able to draw past memories with such ease; often I found myself wishing she didn't have that ability, so we wouldn't be in this situation. But something about this image captivated me. "She in the Destiny Islands?" I asked for clarification.

"She is. Go and find her there."

So I _did_ end up going to the islands. And only shortly after my arrival, I was captivated by the beauty the world held even at nightfall. I couldn't resist the urge to bask in the warmth or grasp a handful of sand. _This_ was the kind of world that I would want to live in. As the sand ran through my fingers, I realized why that dream was as fleeting as the falling sand grains. I would never live here. As long as Marluxia threatened Naminé… I reluctantly left the beach knowing all too well that I had work to do.

When I snuck into the room of my target, the first thing I noticed was how easy this kill would be. When I'd climbed into her window even my muscles had seemed determined to make this mission fast. My muscles had sprung lithely into her tree and had traversed up it as if it had always been their destiny. That feeling had not disappeared when I'd stepped into the girl's room. It had intensified. She slept blissfully unaware in her small bed. I found that I was disappointed. Or at least, that's what I would have felt if I had a heart.

_This_ girl was the one Marluxia was so afraid of? She was harmless. Her senses hadn't even noted my presence. I was keen on keeping it that way. Though I was an assassin; I wasn't completely without mercy. I was trapped. I didn't want to hurt _anyone_. But seeing as how Naminé was my first priority…

I just had to stop thinking. This kill had to be like any of my others. But it wasn't. The girl was scrunched up into a ball as she grasped her blanket. The cold air was harming _her_. And suddenly I knew all Marluxia had accused her of wasn't true. This girl was delicate and small. There was no way she could be trying to overthrow his rule. This girl just screamed preciousness. I didn't doubt she was precious to many. Too precious for this world and ultimately the entire universe.

I would just go to Marluxia and explain that there must have been a mix up. But that would put Naminé's freedom at hold longer. _She_ was the priority. And as much as I hated to admit it, I knew that Marluxia _hadn't_ made a mistake. He was too much of a perfectionist for that.

I _would_ kill this girl then. But it would be quick and while she was asleep. There was no need to torture her. And there was no need for me to see the hurt that would reflect in her eyes if I murdered her while she was awake. It was with that thought that I finally moved closer to the auburn haired girl.

My feet ended up halting as soon as they'd started moving. She was now smiling in her sleep. She just looked so sweet. I had no doubt that her dreams were of cotton candy, rainbows, and kittens. How could I hurt someone so innocent? "I can't."

When I'd unintentionally spoken aloud, the girl had unintentionally asked me to end her life. She woke up the instant that I spoke and spun herself into a battle stance. I almost wished she'd go back to sleeping. Posed the way she was now, I was beginning to see that Marluxia must have been right about her. I too went into a battle stance.

What the girl did next betrayed her earlier actions. "Sora? Is it _really_ you? I _knew_ you'd come back. I missed you so much!" And with that spiel she had thrown herself at me.

I had her in a headlock in a millisecond. "Who are you and how do you know my name?"

"Sora, it's me! It's Kairi. Please stop. You're hurting me."

"I find that people are easier to question if you scare them first. Explain yourself!" Despite myself, I couldn't help but loosen my hold around _Kairi's_ neck. Her eyes—that were reflected to me through her mirror—just held so much sorrow.

And I couldn't help the gasp that emitted from my lips when I glanced at her body in the mirror. Without the obscurity of her blanket, I could see how right Marluxia had been. Her body could only belong to that of a warrior. She was toned, but not overly so. Even her neck's texture was that of silk. Her skin looked so flawless that I didn't doubt it all had that same texture.

The pajamas that this girl wore weren't skimpy, but they weren't modest either. I imagined many women on this hot island probably dressed the same as Kairi, but I doubted that they could pull off the look so beautifully. The belly shirt and shorts she wore seemed to be made only for her. I couldn't resist allowing one of my hands to move from her neck to glide along her arms.

Kairi wore the most peculiar expression with my action. It seemed akin to pleasure, yet reluctant. But that one moment that pleasure had displayed itself on her face, it had made her glow. I'd thought she was beautiful from the moment I'd entered her room but now I saw how perfect Kairi really was. "Beautiful" didn't do her justice.

I looked at her through the mirror one more time and instantly freed her in shock. Her eyes had looked so much like Naminé's. And in this strange moment in the girl's room, I'd somehow wound up feeling for this girl more than Naminé. It was an impossibility to me, as much as my being able to feel would seem ludicrous to someone else.

I had Kairi pinned on her bed in an instant. "_What_ are you? What did you do to me?"

"You really _don't_ have your memories?"

"Stop. Trying. To. Bewitch. Me." My words sounded even more deadly in the silent, late night.

"You're here to kill me."

I couldn't figure why she'd spoken her words so cautiously, but I chose not to be distracted. "I've got to hand it to you. Your magic is quite strong and I almost let you go free. Someone really should have taught you not to talk so much. It was just your words that sullied the image. Now answer my questions or I'll make this agonizing for you."

"Sora, listen to me. I've known you since we were four. You're my best friend! And you actually like that I talk so much. You always complained that too many girls stand in other girl's shadows. You liked that I was so strongly opinionated! You loved it! And Sora, I love _you_."

There were many things about her words that I didn't understand. But she'd put a certain importance into saying the last thing she did. I would start my questions there. "What is 'love?'"

"It's something that can't be defined." As she said the last word, I knew that I'd been a fool for letting my guard down. The strange girl had summoned her own Keyblade somehow and cut my arm with it before she tackled _me_ to the floor.

"I take it that it's somewhat close to detest if it's based off of that mood. And if you detest me then you've given me a great gift. I won't feel guilty after I slaughter you."

"You _would_ feel guilty? That's not what Riku-"

"Don't flatter yourself; you see, my emotions aren't real. My heart was destroyed. And you forget that even if they were real I _wouldn't_ feel guilty if you hate me. And it'd be in your best interest if you stopped trying to psych me out."

"Don't you see, Sora? You do have emotions. Your guilt is real! Even the fact that you don't want me to hate you shows that you still have your feelings."

"You're wrong." I said sorrowfully. I didn't know why I was letting the girl dictate me with her psychobabble. Why wasn't I even trying to heal my arm or take her down? Deep down, I knew the answer. I could never kill someone with so much hope. I was back to the same problem I'd had when I'd seen her sleeping. I would rather have her kill me than lay a finger on her.

What the girl did next shocked me more than anything she'd done this night (and that was saying a lot). Crawling to me she put her legs on either side of me before looking me square in the eye. "What are you _thinking_ now?"

I knew what she was trying to do. It would be all too easy to admit I _did_ have emotions in this position. The trained assassin in me was furious at this mistake. I was too exposed. The girl could kill me _way_ too easily like this. But I couldn't care. Being so close to her… it just seemed right. There was something about this girl that seemed to ignite a fire in me. It was so very different than the cool calm that I felt with Naminé. Kairi had a spice about her. This could easily be noticed by looking at her hair that seemed to be a waterfall of flames.

When she stroked my cheek all thoughts left my mind: her touch, it seemed almost familiar. Like my muscles knew exactly how to react to her gentle caress. "You're so beautiful." She barely whispered. Then there was even more fire as she blushed a bright red and then I saw it…

Light emanated from this girl like a beacon. I was a creature of the darkness, so why did I feel so drawn to her like a moth to a flame? I had only a short moment to make peace with this epiphany and only a short time to do something _right_.

I delicately knocked Kairi off of me and onto her back. I was reverently relieved when she didn't move to defend herself. "Listen and listen well! You will leave this place and never come back. I will take you to another world where you'll be safe. I'll have to fake your death here, so only tell as few people as possible the truth. And stop your charge against Marluxia or this will all have been for naught."

"Why are you helping me?" And suddenly the sorrow was back in her.

"Might as well do one good thing in my life." I smiled impishly.

"Sora you've done so _much_ good in your life. Don't you remember that at all?"

"All I know is my most recent memories of Naminé. I may have been decent in the past… but with the destruction of my heart I lost that." Why was I being so dangerously honest with her? The more she knew about me the more danger she would be in.

"Sora, nothing could ever make you lose who you are." Her eyes did not betray her words.

...

"Naminé why aren't there any mirrors in this place?" I said this mostly to distract myself from my musings, but there was more to it behind that. Mirrors were said to show the manifestation of one's soul. And despite what I'd said, the girl had seemed to see in me a part that did exist but was hidden from me. I almost wondered if a mirror would clearly display what Kairi had gone on about. Was Marluxia trying to hide something in not keeping a mirror here?

"I think it's because Marluxia wants us to always remember that this place is a prison."

"What do I look like to _you_, then?" I was eager to dispute Kairi's claims or prove them. There was definitely something there. Naminé and Kairi were a lot a like. Maybe Naminé would be able to continue what Kairi had began.

Naminé looked at me in a peculiar way. I couldn't help but feel it was the first time she'd ever really _seen_ me. But she, she looked _vulnerable_. "I don't understand what you mean."

"Don't you?" It seemed that _she_ wasn't the only one who could bring about my anger. Much softer I said, "I remembered more of what you said about Nobodies. We're supposed to stay the same age we were when we lost our hearts. But I've gotten even more taller in comparison to you. And you're about the same."

She spoke with no inflection. "Sora, we've been over this. You're not really a Nobody, and it makes sense that you would grow. I, on the other hand, must have reached my correct height."

It made perfect sense. So why wasn't I satisfied with the answer? Naminé began to stroke my face in a peaceful motion. _I_ tried very hard not to think about how it wasn't _Naminé's _touch that had felt so right. "I've never seen you like this," she observed.

"Do I- do I have a soul? I mean, if I'm _not_ a Nobody I could."

Naminé pouted, and I had the strange feeling that she missed my previous lack of questioning. "Every person has a soul, Sora. Yours has just been clouded."

I mentally scoffed. Clouded? More like tainted. If Naminé of all people couldn't see good in me, what credit should I give the would-be-dead-target of mine?

I stopped Naminé's hypnotizing touch and began walking away from her. Naminé was appalled. "Where are you going, Sora?"

I didn't even have to answer, as she saw me heading down the right hallway, I knew she'd figure it out.

When I got to my room, I was glad I didn't have to put up a pretense anymore.

_I wasn't good._ What was the point of living, if what you worked for never mattered in the end? My worst fear had come true. I _wasn't_ right for Naminé. Couldn't she see that she deserved better than me? How I wished I wouldn't have to deal with my thoughts anymore. I did anyway.

Kairi had been too precious for this world. Completely light years away from me. She was too _good_, and I shouldn't have even met her. As a rule, I should have destroyed her.

There was a huge part of me that wanted to return to her and finish the job. My soul was becoming more "clouded." I'd lost sight of the light. Even my light in Naminé. I had no doubt that tomorrow darkness would be all that I was.

I was fading into darkness, and yet I was still there.

_What's… What's happening to me? Falling… falling… into darkness. _

**Author's Note:** **As of now, I'm just posting this to get people's thoughts. Even though I have the next two chapters done… I'm a bit afraid of this story. It's much darker than what I'm used to writing. But after two years this idea _still_ won't leave me alone. Yep, this chapter is two years old. IF I finish more will be explained later.**

**By the way, the rating is due to: dark themes, language, and violence. There will NOT be any lemons. Something might be implied, but it won't be explicit. Lemons just make me a bit uncomfortable. Sorry if that's your cup of tea.**

**P.S. Sora and Kairi are about eighteen in this. Riku would obviously be nineteen. It should be acknowledged that Sora still thinks he's fourteen oddly enough, but more on that later.**

**May the light guide you;)**

**-Shanna**

**Edit: Vote on the poll in my profile if you want me to finish this story first.**


	2. Blaze

**Author's Note: Sora's developed a bit of Split Personality in this chapter. And it's been SO confusing to write. Here are a few guidelines: Regular text (and italicized text) is his normal narration. Underlined text is Sora's "conscience" talking to him. And bolded text is Sora arguing with his conscience. On with the story!**

**There's most likely mistakes, but I won't have time to fix them 'til tomorrow. But you've all been waiting for this, so I figured I'd post this tonight. But I still don't know if Ill go any further with this. **

**Blaze**

I tossed and turned all night. How I could even sleep on those metal cots was beyond me. It had been a problem at first. But this body had become accustomed to a lot of pains. I wouldn't have been a seasoned warrior if I couldn't handle the bed's insignificant pain. Like I had done with the Marluxia/ Naminé situation... I had adjusted.

But when and why had I needed too? Naminé was all there ever had been for me, so if I had been here all my life (like I'd been led to believe), I would have known no other beds. So why did I have knowledge of _better_ beds? And if I was supposed to be a Nobody, how could I feel such pain?

You're lying to yourself,

Ugh. I'd thought I'd dispelled my conscience long ago. It was the only way that I was able to set fire to the worlds I had, feel the life drain out of my victims as I strangled them, look into _her _eyes.

Yes her. 

Ugh _again_. I tried my best to tune out my annoying inner voice, but proving that I am in fact crazy; the voice tuned out my wishes when I couldn't tune out _it_.

You know Naminé's not the only one. You felt something for Kairi. 

What a joke. I wasn't supposed to feel anything!

But you do.

With that thought I gave up on the whole institution of sleep. I swung my legs over my "bed" in furious haste and stalked over to the far wall. There'd always been a desk there, though I didn't know why. I didn't have any thoughts, therefore no need to occupy my time with anything.

But you did recently, didn't you? 

Fine! Maybe after meeting the girl, _Kairi_, I felt the need to draw (scribble) a picture of her. I couldn't exactly ask my Naminé to draw it for me, could I? She was already sacrificing so much to be with the boy she'd fallen in love with pre-being emotionless. I could only imagine how hard the whole transition had to be for her. And then that Marluxia had to continue to complicate our lives. Why would I ever see fit to tell her about the demon that continued to dance around in my head?

And she is in your head, isn't she?

I smiled a wicked smile. Could voices in your head see things like that? Well, it was no matter. **You're treading on dangerous water hear, Voice. I hate you and should know by now that things I hate meet a very** _**fun**_, **and bloody death. That's what made you leave in the first place, wasn't it? You couldn't bare seeing more of the carnage. **

I shouldn't have given up on you then. Now that I've found you again, now that you have hope again, I won't let you destroy it.

**Hope? Is that what she is to you? There's no room for any part of me to carry**_**her**_**hope. Since you're a part of me, I'm afraid that that option is out for you. But if you want her, I might be willing to give you her in another way.**

Yes, it'd be spectacular to have her pinned underneath me again. My body once again knowing hers through her bizarre pull on me. I could already imagine her kicking and screaming at me until I took her to new heights. Then she'd all too soon be screaming for other reasons.

You do realize that is in fact you that wants her, right?The voice thought snidely. He should have known to not try and outdo the master.

**I warned you that you're treading on dangerous water. Because there****is something I want more than her body - to bathe in her** **blood**. She would look so beautiful in death. Even in our brief meeting, I could tell her eyes would burn until her last breath. Glorious.

But you let her live, the voice said with fear trickling in its tone.

**A minor setback. I figured I might as well do one unselfish thing in my life. Then again, I guess the thrill of her hunt ****could**** be classified as selfish, huh?**

You won't do it.

**You take orders from me! **I roared, getting bored with his games. **It's **_**not**_** the other way around. If you still have doubts I'd be glad to put them to rest.**

Despite the voice's silence, I knew it was time to put it in its place. I placed the picture of Kairi on my wall with a tack. Rummaging through other doors in the usually unneeded desk, I found what I was looking for: darts. I threw thirteen of them at my drawing. If only it had been Marluxia's death I had on my hands—rather than most of Organization XIII—then Naminé and I would be free. **You hear that voice? Naminé is the only "hope" I need. And I **_**will**_** destroy your Kairi. **

With that I began to walk out of the room. But one thing caught both of our eyes; all the darts had made the paper bend over. The crimson of Kairi's hair reached down to touch her body. It looked as though she was drowning in a pool of her own blood. It was as beautiful as I had imagined. Against the stark white walls it was even more exquisite. I made a mental note to kill her somewhere with white backdrops. Her hair and blood would be a lovely contrast to it. I took the picture from the wall and pocketed it the way the darts had left it; it would be great inspiration.

Where was the voice? Dead. Upon seeing the manifestation of Kairi's death, he didn't want to be anywhere near for the real thing. Feeling more relieved than I ever

had—despite my lack of sleep—I walked down the long corridor whistling a happy tune.

Kairi would never haunt me again.

…

The worst situation I could possibly imagine was the very one I starred in. How could I kill so many, and not be able to protect the only thing that mattered by killing her captor? It was her captor making me kill, that had given me my skills!

How many times had I seen the same type of bruise on Naminé's cheek? How many times had I seen her shoulders stiff with all the figurative weight she carried? How many times had I seen her body abused in every single way? How many times had she run into my arms and sobbed while Marluxia looked on laughing? The number of times each had occurred was immeasurable.

As was the amount of times I said these exact words, " Naminé why didn't you call for me? I _would_ have made sure I heard, and I would have stopped Marluxia."

Something else immeasurable was the amount of times she said, "It was different this time."

How many times those words were true was _not_ immeasurable. The fact was, that it was all the same.

Except once: freedom would be nearly in our grasp. But when good things change, the bad always stays the same.

"He would have hurt _you_ this time. I couldn't bear that, Sora."

As she often did, she hid her expressions in the crook of my neck. I reckoned that she all too easily felt the way I stiffened. "What are you talking about?"

Naminé actually broke the skin on her lip after worrying it. "I drew him something, Sora. And you know I can draw anything that someone wants. I could go into big detail about the picture, but what you need to know is that the picture depicted the Keyblade leaving you."

I cursed inwardly. Did the fates always have to be against us? It _had_ been Naminé 's power that Marluxia had desired in the beginning. But then—proving this world really need to be "made-over," (destroyed)—I had inherited the Keyblade, and in my plea to Marluxia that he let Naminé go, my Keyblade had become the real key to his plans. Pun intended. I might be a heartless (literally) assassin, but I'm not _completely_ humorless.

The situation, however, was definitely without humor. I pushed Naminé away from me ever so slightly, so I would see the truth in her eyes; I knew Naminé was way to keen about putting me before herself. " Naminé," I said eying her intently so she realized the severity of the situation. "My deal with Marluxia," (the deal he really had never made good on) "It's moot now, isn't it?"

Despite my best efforts, Naminé was able to extract herself from me. She walked over to the Southern wall of her room, and peeked out the window to the raven colored pavement below. She seemed emotionless when she spoke. It was a trait that I'd noticed on many occasions. The direr a situation was, the less emotion Naminé showed. It was the only way she could reign in her otherwise uncontrollable emotions. "He thought you'd become useless and was going to kill you, Sora. But I convinced him that you would re-obtain full power over the Keyblade. You _have_ to manage it, Sora." And there was the emotion I so desired in her. Though I understood it, nothing scared me more than Naminé's numbness. It returned just as soon as it had passed. "There are many secrets to the Keyblade. This might even be cakewalk."

The last part was clearly a lie. Even so, I said, "I'm going to search in Traverse Town." It might not have comforted her like I wished, but I didn't exactly have the ability to comfort.

The Keyblade undoubtedly _did_ have many secrets. But the only one I knew was that there was only supposed to be one master, and yet _Kairi_ of all people had one. I would find out why she had a Keyblade. I would keep he around for _a while_.

But first, I needed to find her. If she were smart she would have taken my advice and gotten out of Destiny Islands like clockwork. If she was in fact smart—and did in fact do that—she would most likely be in Traverse Town. It was, after all, a world home to refugees. I _would_ find her there.

And I _would_, for the first time, be hunting someone without Marluxia's consent. I _would _be hunting someone, for the first time, with no intent in killing them.

My amazement at the fact carried me through making a Corridor of Darkness, traversing (again, pun intended) Betwixt in Between, and my arrival to Traverse Town. If I hadn't scared my conscience away for good this time (and I had), I had no doubt it would have been singing praises at the thought of seeing her again. Or some shit like that, anyway.

Upon entering Traverse Town's Accessory Shop, I was hit with a strong feeling of nostalgia. I somehow knew exactly what side of the door to go through so the loose piece of wood (the only piece that has been nailed on incorrectly) didn't hit me in the head. I knew, that as soon as I walked in, that there would be a cabinet on my right side; I knew that it held the occasional treasure chest. Because of that knowledge, I even was one hi-potion richer than I was when I walked in.

As I approached the shop's clerk, I was also surprised to find that I knew about the Moogle shop on the second level of the store. Based on the "trap door" above the ladder being closed, it was safe to bet that the shop itself was closed. But I made sure to talk to the clerk loud enough for both floors to hear. At this point I'd take _anyone's_ advice on where to find Kairi.

It took me a moment to get the older man's attention. He seemed to be trying to piece Gummi blocks together and I had to wonder if he was an engineer too, or if he was just tinkering with them for fun. With a suddenness that took me by surprise, I was overcome with the feeling that he shouldn't have been the person standing there. I staggered backwards shocked by my bizarre (and so far right) intuitions. Upon seeing me stumble, it was _that_ that caused the man to finally take note of me. He rubbed the grease off his hands and onto his white shirt (not smart on his part) and pushed his spectacles closer to his olive colored eyes before _finally_ addressing me.

"Something I can help you with? He asked in a somewhat accented voice.

I took no time in getting my point across. "Have you seen a girl with auburn hair? It falls to her hips in straight tresses." When he gave no answer I continued, "I suppose she's somewhat on the pale side. Her eyes are a light shade of lavender, and her lips are a very settling baby pink. Her body is lean and sculpted but not overly so. Umm... she's probably about two inches shorter than me. Oh, her bangs are side-swept to the right." How I'd even known what the last part _meant_, I wasn't sure.

Much to my chagrin the man started guffawing. Ugh. A half an hour in this town (yes, I'd checked the entire town in that time thanks to my being able to teleport using Corridors of Darkness) and I was ready to kill everyone. I was a real piece of work. The man ran his hands through his brown and graying hair in an odd way of regaining his composure. Finally he said, "Shouldn't you know where your girlfriend, Kairi, is son?"

"She's _not_ my girlfriend." Jeez, could I sound anymore like a dumb little kid. I pretended I never said that statement and asked the question that really mattered, "You know Kairi?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far, but she is a regular in the shop. She buys tons of healing items and accessories. A good customer," he said with an odd sense of respect.

Then again it wasn't that odd, was it? Kairi deemed respect.

What the hell am I thinking?

Thankfully the shop owner took me out of my bewitched thoughts. "I take it you're Sora?"

I froze, allowing adrenaline to lace up my body, preparing to attack if needed. "If I am?"

I relaxed slightly when he chuckled somewhat, but only slightly. "Kairi says to let you know that she followed your advice."

What the-! How the hell did she know I'd track her?_ I _didn't even know that. Perhaps the sorceress had gained access to my mind when I'd laid so close to her. Yes, it was the only way I would have let my guard down the way I had. Did she now know me better than I knew myself? Curse my need for her information. Now I _really_ needed to spill her blood: to protect myself. Well, as soon as she spoke it wouldn't be a problem anymore. "Do you know where she is, Ronald?" I asked looking down at his nametag. Perhaps if I personalized things he would give me what I needed...but what a bizarre name.

"Seems to me that she might be heading to Radiant Garden again."

...

?

What?

That girl was fucking retarded. Radiant Garden was _not_ safe. I'd been ordered there a number of times to destroy whole villages just for the chance of destroying the resistance. The Resistance! She was a part of it, and despite my warnings, she was doing exactly as she had before Marluxia had put a hit out on her. I never should have let her live.

"Thanks a lot, Sir." I told the clerk with a smile. It was surprising to me how sincere I actually was with the whole thing.

He smiled sincerely too. "Anytime, Kid. But I'll tell you, if you can describe her that perfectly it's because you truly love her. Never let her get away, you hear?"

And I was abruptly furious again. Fortunately, I was able to muster up enough control to not wreak any havoc at the clerk's flawed words.

Well, I might have wreaked _some_ havoc. People wouldn't have to worry about bumping into the dangling wood on the Accessory Shop's door ever again. I shredded it with my claws from the bottom up."

Radiant Garden. What loser had decided to restore its true name? Thanks to me, it was more destroyed than it ever had been. "Hollow Bastion" was a far more fitting name for the place.

Looking out at all of the torn, disintegrated areas and buildings, I felt a swelling of pride. Couldn't people see that destruction brought about the true beauty? It stripped away the false colors and creations, and showed what it was supposed to be in its original state.

Truthfully it was radiant. But I knew the townsfolk and me viewed the word in different ways.

My way was right. To the east I could have sworn I still saw smoke from my latest Firaja attack. The swirling vortex of air truly was nature's paintbrush. But despite the beauty, I knew what I'd done would make it harder to find Kairi. She could be anywhere in this.

Even under all the rubble. That too would have its own beauty, but it wouldn't help my (and Naminé's, I amended) situation out.

I began my search.

In the end, I didn't have to look for her at all. When I'd teleported to this world, I'd somehow ended up right in front of a Sea-Salt ice cream shop. Perhaps it was because I was hungry, (assassins get hungry too) but when I quickly glimpsed her too perceptive blue eyes—so much like Naminé's—I knew it had been divine intervention. Yes, fate knew I needed to be around Naminé so I could protect her. In the end it was this girl that was protecting _me_.

There'd been a brawl in the shop; there was no way to misinterpret that. And it was because of those two morons that I saw her in the first place. One of them knocked the other into the entrance door, it continued to sway open and closed. And I knew the times it allowed me to see Kairi would forever be cemented in my mind.

Open: Kairi wearing pigtails is laughing as her melting ice cream ruins her blouse.

Closed.

Open: Kairi's now seen me and a look of shock has become pasted to her face.

Closed.

Open: Kairi looks away for a moment, and I see the beginning of tears in her eyes.

Closed.

Open: Kairi smiles slightly despite her tears.

Closed: I forget how to breathe at the beauty of this short, yet insanely long moment. The beauty of her emotions. The emotions she uses to the fullest; something I'll never even be able to do. I stifle at her beauty in general.

Open: Kairi is once again frozen. Faster than I can follow, she awakens and runs out the back door.

The moment is over, but my instincts start to urge me after her.

I pursue.

I suddenly have my hand around her throat, and with my other hand, have pushed her back against a wall. In following her, the hunter that I am has emerged. But more than that, I'm furious at her again.

Thankfully, I release her before I can do much damage. She slumps to the ground and begins to cough. Even so, I start my line of questioning. "What is _wrong_ with you? I let you go! I never let _anyone_ go. And here you are offering your life on a silver platter by coming here of all places! And how _dare_ you join the resistance again? You should have know someone would come after you. How can you eat ice cream, wear pig-tails, and act like you don't have a care in the world?"

She's still coughing, so I'm impressed when she strongly says, "I have nothing to say to you."

Despite myself, I'm mad about this and quickly say what I should have felt. "Good. You said enough nonsense last time."

To my shock she shoves _me_ against the wall I just had her pinned against. It's not an all around bad position. "Are we _really_ back to that? I thought I'd reached you!" She growled.

"You warped my mind. And put false characteristics into me. Don't blame me if your magics aren't up to par to keep me that way indefinitely."

With surprising gentleness, Kairi reaches out and grabs my right hand. "My 'magic's' not the only one's who's not up to par. I sense heavy darkness in you, Sora."

This time it was my turn to growl. "Stop being so casual in the way you say my name!"

Finally our loudness prompts Kairi's boyfriend to come and investigate. Before he can say a word, I have Kairi pinned in my arms again, and I have thankfully been able to summon my Keyblade for the moment. I'm not gentle when I put it to her throat either. I felt a drop of blood fall onto my hand and groan at the sight of it: it's almost as pale as pink. Now I had some accurate knowledge to use in my fantasies. Pink blood would like just as good on her. Maybe even better, I note upon remembering the cute pig-tails she was wearing.

I'm instantly distracted when I see the White-Haired-Wonder pull out his own Keyblade. One that's different from mine and Kairi's both. I don't dwell on it, "Dismiss your Keyblade or I _will_ kill her."

"You won't do it, Sora. You'd never hurt Kairi...you love her." I disregarded the entire statement and made a mental note to examine it later.

"I think you'll that find I will." I remove my Keyblade from her neck before he can blink, letting him see the blood that has already accumulated there.

With nothing to stop me, I create a Corridor of Darkness. Kairi's cry of, "Riku!" disappearing with us.

…

Kairi is unconscious when we arrive in the Alternate Twilight Town, and it's probably the first thing about her that doesn't surprise me. I can smell light in here like a shark would smell blood. Corridors of Darkness are no place for someone like her. Then neither was this awful life. I sighed, it seemed I really _was_ back to the way I had been the night I first met her.

I respected her more than I wanted to admit. But what had that Riku meant? How had he seemed to personally know me?

Thankfully, I'm not given much time to dwell on the subject. (I'm already as mad as a hatter. Why add to it?) Kairi's eyes begin to flutter open, and even in half unconsciousness it seems to be flirtatious. At first her eyes lock on me and she gives a small smile. Everything goes to farce when she says, "Your eyes."

I smile to humor her. "Yes my eyes. These babies have left many women wanting." Well, one had wanted them, and she'd definitely hadn't gone wanting. The others probably were _wanting_, but wanting the possessor of the eyes to stop his massacre.

"Your eyes aren't blue."

And then comes the self-righteous armor. "Lady, no matter what magics you use on me, I'd like to believe that I know enough about myself to know that my eyes never have been, nor ever will be, any color other than gold."

Kairi chuckles earnestly and it makes me hate her even more. "You're still the same, Sora. Always trying to be condescending to those who make you doubt yourself." By proving that she was in fact Bi-Polar, the girl is abruptly serious. "Maybe if that's still the same, the other stuff is buried too."

_And maybe if you don't stop looking so seductive stretched out on the library table, I'll take you right now. With or wi_- No! Again. What the hell am I thinking? Naminé is my angel; _this _girl is nothing more than a demon sent to ruin my life even more thoroughly. "Enough games. There was a reason I brought you here." Kairi takes the moment to note her surroundings. She shutters, though despite everything, I can't imagine the reason. Regardless, I'm getting nowhere. Perhaps if I threaten her, things will move along. "You're very tempting right now," That was true enough. When was she _not _tempting me in someway? "I'm sure your boyfriend would be much obliged if I returned you unmarred."

She was laughing _again_. And I'm too exasperated to be angry. "That's the threat! I thought that was what you'd set out to do in the first place!" Yep, this girl was madder than a hatter too. "And Riku isn't my boyfriend." I can't hide my relief at that statement. Kairi, despite the strangeness of the whole situation, was my new toy. I was not quite ready to share.

"Honey, you have no idea of the tortures and murders I've seen and delivered myself. That too is the obvious threat if you don't cooperate."

She must have doubted my words more than I did, because she instantly gets up from the table and sets to removing books from the shelves, she's no doubt looking for an escape. It will do her no good, but if Marluxia ever caught wind of this… "What do you need?" She doesn't even look at me when she says it. Does she not understand the severity of being kidnapped? Or had she been kidnapped before?

"You sensed it earlier. I cannot use my Keyblade." It took great effort to not look away in shame at this failure.

"Does the witch not share my same ability?" There was a strange edge to her voice that I didn't understand. But I couldn't care less about that. I run to her in a heartbeat and throw her into the bookshelf she'd been stripping bare, with a shocking force. I then, once again, pin her to the wall er... shelf. "Don't you _ever _call her that again, you understand? She's an angel sent to save me, and you are the most vile of demons!"

Suddenly, my arms are burning as if they've been put in acid only to be doused in fire within seconds of being set free. "Light." I say, as if it is a curse.

Kairi stops using her power near instantly, but it's seemed like a millennium. "Yes, light. And it's because you're losing it that you've lost the Keyblade."

"Wha-"

She sends a smaller charge up my leg to silence me. "It's because you've lost sight of the light that you hurt like this," she says much gentler. "I will help you find your way, but on one condition."

I glower at her as much as I am able in my current state, "You're in no place to-"

Damn Another attack, this time on my shins. "I admit I'm at a loss how to leave this place," she continues. "But you'll be in a worse place if you don't require your gift, I presume. And as you now see, I can be quite a good torturer too."

"What do you want?" I spit out, hating and respecting her even more.

She doesn't even mull it over. "Kiss me." Her eyes blaze, and I soon hover over her as I lay her on the table. My body blazes too.

**Author's Note: ****Vote on the poll in my profile if you want me to finish this story first.**


	3. Aflame

**Aflame**

I tried to get my body to acknowledge the spell she'd put on me.

I tried to make it acknowledge that Naminé was _the_ one.

I tried to reason how difficult this would make things if I inexplicably cared about this crazy human.

I even wondered how a body forsaken of emotions could feel such rapture.

In the end nothing could distract me from the feel of my mouth joining hers; of feeling every line in her body against my own.

I'd always compared Kairi to fire and it was only now that I knew had adept that statement was. My body blazed with its want for her, the literal heat between us was intoxicating, every one of Kairi's movements was equal to that of an inferno: engulfing me in its depth.

Even when she'd maneuvered my shirt off of me—I was surprised that I hadn't eagerly taken her clothes off first: now that I was getting what I'd desired, it was hard to hold back—it was still blistering hot. So much like the Light she'd been abusing me with earlier, (and I could feel the constant undercurrent of her Light now) but so different, too. It was; however, most noticeable that I'd _never_ felt this with Naminé.

Grabbing onto Kairi's left leg, I was quick to hitch it over my hip. If it weren't for my developed speed, it would have taken much longer. It was hard not to get distracted when she nibbled on my earlobe so. And when Kairi made a noise in the back of her throat at the new contact, I would have taken here then and there. Had I not been taken someplace else first.

_I wasn't certain if I'd blacked out or not. It seemed the only logical explanation as to how I'd been taken from the place I truly wanted to be, to some foggy billiard room. I was quick to try summoning my Keyblade—wondering if it was putting me through a new Awakening perhaps—but I should have known it wouldn't be that easy. I sighed irritably. But some higher power must have seen it as acceptance because soon an entire scene was playing out before me. The fog dimmed and I saw Kairi and me._

_But it wasn't really us. We both appeared much younger than we were currently. I was even shocked that I recognized myself at all. I didn't remember much prior to becoming a Nobody. And sense it was a rarity to see my own reflection (so I really had no image in my head to compare this "younger me" to) I really shouldn't have been able to discern who the spiky haired boy with..._

_With blue eyes was._

_I had blue eyes. Why did I have blue eyes? This thought shook me more than anything else. The girl, Kairi had said I'd had blue eyes. It could only mean one thing: she was responsible for this! I knew this already of course, but I seemed to be in a dream state and it hadn't truly dawned on me until now. She would pay. She would suffer for anything and everything she did to me. But more than that she would suffer for making me betray Naminé._

_Maybe the "voice" hadn't perished like I'd thought. It was the only thing that made sense as to-_

_"I don't know about this, Sora." Despite myself, I looked over to the scene that continued to play out before me. It was much clearer now and I could see that Kairi, my shadow (as I would affectionately call it), the annoying White-Haired-Wonder, and three others had all gathered around some pool table. The one that had just spoken was the only other girl present. Her hair was billowy and dishwater blonde. Her eyes were piercing green, and just by looking at her I didn't like her._

_I was rather relieved when the fake me (showing some of my character was kept right) was quick to shut her down. "Come on, Selphie. Don't you want an adventure? Or at least to fake one?" The boy pleaded a bit too kid like for my taste._

_But "Selphie's" displeasure under his scrutiny was enough for me. "Well," she shifted uncomfortably. "I think we should let the birthday girl go first." _

_All eyes (including my shadow's and my own) shot to Kairi then. She seemed to be ill at ease with all the stares, but she actually showed some spirit. "Of course, Sora. Your games are always fun. Now explain more what you wanted to do."_

_Okay, even I couldn't help but smile at her sweetness. The fake me seemed to be quite overwhelmed by it, and I was too. But I was also overwhelmed by my distaste for Selphie. She'd pretty much thrown Kairi to the sharks! How dare she insinuate my err... his idea was a bad one? (Which it wasn't.) How dare she have the gull to then vote Kairi for it?_

_Apparently it was all kittens and rainbows to counter part me. "Well," My shadow began to explain excitedly. "Since you're twelve now I thought you might want to try something a little more grown up. I read this really cool article about how you can make someone feel like they're falling through the floors of a house when they're not. You see-"_

_Ugh. Did this kid ever shut up? I effectively tuned him out for as long as I could. Until he placed Kairi stomach down on the pool table. That was interesting enough. He then proceeded to hold both of Kairi's hands behind her back as he stood over her. And once again it was story time. Except this time it didn't cause me to want to nap. The whole thing reminded me quite a bit of a spell, (fitting for the sorceress Kairi) but it wasn't that at all. _

_It was mostly the way Kairi was acting. She had her eyes closed as she'd been instructed. But they weren't squeezed shut. She remained perfectly oblivious to everything else except other me's words, and the feeling that coursed through her. It was clear as day on her face that it was actually working. That she actually felt like she was falling through floors. But there was something else, too. Something she probably shouldn't have been thinking about if she wanted the game to work (even though it was working fine regardless)._

_I noticed this because it was written all over my shadow's face. He wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. The preteen was only acknowledging how nice it felt to be holding onto Kairi. And then the weirdest thing of all occurred._

_I could feel what he was feeling. Happiness, contentment, the first workings of passion… And for the first time since I'd entered the ridiculous place, I didn't want to leave. But just like that I was being pulled away. However, I did notice the White-Haired-Wonder glaring at fake me as Kairi gave him a kiss on the cheek. I knew for certain that that other Sora would always remember that moment. Because I knew I'd always value it, too._

When I returned to reality I was a little disoriented. Though the "dream" had seemed clear at the time, it was actually quite hazy. The real world was much clearer and it took my eyes a moment to adjust. It was very similar to how they would have to adjust to light differences.

But I didn't really put much thought into it all. What I did notice was that Kairi's actions were completely still. And I was immediately lead to the truth. She'd been taken into the "dream" too.

I jumped off of her so fast, I was surprised when I didn't have whiplash. "What did you _do_ to me?"

All too easily we seemed to return to the characters we'd been before we'd tried to ravish each other. "Me? That was all you. You'd set it all up. Do you think I-"

"What you showed me is not real. There's no way I could have created that. It's just you and your powers again."

To my (not total) shock, Kairi began laughing a bit hysterically. It truly was similar to how we'd been before. But this time I would not jump her. Even if she did ask me to kiss her. "Don't you see? The manifestation of your Light—what you're searching for—did that. It's trying to reach out to you." Kairi smiled triumphantly.

And I did very well not to reveal my maniacal grin. She had no idea. No idea what she'd just said. And I had no doubt that the real me was rising to the surface again. Reaching my right hand out in front of me, Kairi jumped at the sound of the Keyblade materializing in my hand. It was instantaneous. And for the first time since we'd arrived here, I saw genuine panic in her eyes. "Just being around you will power the Keyblade. Well, well, well. I didn't think it'd be that simple. Looks like you just became my prisoner. Hope you like it here." I smiled at her snidely. Could this have worked out any better? Not only would my problem be solved, but also I'd never have to worry about Marluxia finding about my one and only failed mission! Not only that, but I now had ample opportunity to torture my new toy to my heart's (haha) content. I wouldn't even be tempted to betray Naminé anymore. After her body had done the weird voodoo on me, I had no desire to touch her again. Now I grinned maliciously.

And there was the fear I longed for again. Kairi was currently backing away from me as slowly as she could. I could hear her fast heartbeat and could see the fear all too evident on her face. And I kept perfect pace with her. The beauty of her fear was just too precious to view from far away. Eventually she backed herself into the bookshelf where it had all started. I pinned her very easily. "Did you think I was a stupid animal, Kairi?" I drawled her name. "Pretty bold of you to think such thoughts when you're just a deer in the headlights yourself." I leered at her, anticipating her reaction. Anticipating her fear.

However, I ended up being disappointed beyond reason. She gave me a look a scholar might give an experiment. "You do need me don't you? You've never had the Light in this life. So how did you have the Keyblade for so long?"

Even though she didn't deserve my answers, I couldn't help but revel in that she'd finally got it. "Of course I had no Light. I'm like a Nobody. The Light rejects me." The Darkness, too. And yet somehow I did have Darkness. And boy was it hungry for her.

Once again, Kairi eyed me curiously. Only to suddenly burst out into a smile and hide it behind her palm. "No, you do have Light. But the destruction of your heart has made it imbalanced in you. And it's allowing your Heartless to have power over you!" Once again she was giggling. But this time it was like that of a schoolgirl.

She was so tiring. "You really don't listen. I'm only _like_ a Nobody. I've never been a Heartless. My heart just collapsed." Well, Naminé had crushed it under orders from Marluxia. "And even if I had been a regular Nobody, how did you expect my Heartless to have returned to me? It doesn't work like that."

Kairi opened her mouth to speak. But what came out wasn't her voice. "No it doesn't. And this isn't working, Kairi."

Even though I turned around, I didn't need to. Only halfway facing him I acknowledged, "White-Haired-Wonder."

He scoffed at his all too fitting title. "Really, Sora? _that_ again? Just admit you don't think you're cool enough to say, 'Riku.'"

"What I'm 'cool enough' to do is skin you alive." And before he could blink, I'd sliced my claw from his abdominal to his right leg. I dug in deep enough that with my keen eyes I could see just where his heart lay. It was _mine_. I lunged at him again, but he was furious now. Roaring like a wild animal he tackled me to the floor and brought his god-forsaken Keyblade to my neck.

He'd thought he'd won. And just like that I teleported away so I was standing directly above him. I pulled his head into only one arm and kept steady on it (I was that strong). My other hand I momentarily brought to my mouth and sucked off the blood that had accumulated there. "Say, Kairi?" I asked my new pet (and got the insane notion I'd said those words before). "As my guest I'll ask what you'd prefer. A decapitation via my Keyblade or my claws? I'm quite partial to the claw method, as it's so much messier. But wouldn't you say the Keyblade would be more poetic?" To Kairi's credit, she didn't look away once. So set in making me believe her lies.

I took one brief moment to look at Riku (making sure I hadn't already choked him to death) and was shocked and outrageously happy to see a look of betrayal there. Oh yes, this would be a good show. "What are you waiting for, Kairi?" He managed to get out. "Despite what you believe, he will kill me."

I was about to tell Kairi just that (why these two were doubting my resolve was beyond me). But Kairi beat me to it. "I know." She said emotionless.

Riku all too evidently fought back a sob. "Then why? He's not even human anymore, Kai."

Okay, even for me that was insulting. I was a somewhat Nobody. That was as close as it got.

"That's exactly why I can't Riku." Kairi continued. "Sora's Heartless has taken over him. Our Sora's still down there somewhere. But," she said facing me now, where before she was Riku. "I can't let you go either."

"Then it would seem we're at an impasse. Tell you what, I'm feeling generous today." With that I pulled the pathetic Riku to his feet and threw him at Kairi while he coughed and coughed like the weakling he was. "If anyone can subdue me I'll come with you."

They were both quick to nod in the affirmative. Riku recovering faster than I'd originally thought he would. "But," I warned. "We _all_ use our full power." Yes, I'd been holding back too often since meeting Kai-

My thoughts were immediately cut off as I felt something slicing through where my heart should have been. My mouth began filling with the disgusting blood that was my own. I gasped at Kairi in shock. But though the shot had come from that angle it hadn't been her.

"Sounds like my kind of game." The sickeningly familiar voice of my assailant said.

As I crumbled to the floor I could speak only one thing. "Xigbar."

"Actually, it's Braig now."

I made certain I only looked at Kairi. I glared at her, I made certain she knew that I would escape and come after her. I made certain she knew what I'd do to her. "Now who's the deer in the headlights?" She asked snidely.

Riku glared down at me as if I were just a bug.

Then everything went black. Was it my imagination, or did Kairi say, "I don't know what I'd do without you. Luckily we learned to fall into each other's gravity." I did know for certain that'd been the last thing Kairi had said to me in the odd hazy dream.

...

I knew I had been drugged before the affects even reached my body. It was somewhat of a relief actually.

_For one short moment, everything left my mind. My need to protect Nami. Marluxia. The people I would undoubtedly kill... each face came and went as I seemed to fly past them. And then there was her. Pink hair drifting down to her back, periwinkle eyes, and a white dress that made her seem more ethereal than ghostly. I was standing behind her, and no matter what I did, I couldn't catch up to her. Nor could I truly see her face. It was as if I was looking at her reflection in a stream. It was a clear portrait of what she looked like, but distorted somehow. "Who are you?" I asked the girl who could only be described as a goddess._

_The sound of my voice seemed to pull her out of a stupor. Panicked, she began to try and run away, but eventually her legs gave out. And she was left sitting in the sea of endless white. I was uncertain if she'd just given up, or if something had knocked her down. "Where am I?" She asked in a surprisingly calm and steady voice._

_If I didn't already love her, my respect for her would have gone up tenfold. I had acted nearly as calm when... when... "I'm Sora." I said as if it answered my own questions and hers._

_"Sora?" The girl said with a hand to her chin. "That name seems familiar. I think I knew someone with that name. But it's been a long time. I don't even know who I am anymore." She turned to look at me thoughtfully when she said this. And I couldn't help but smile when her eyes crinkled in a cute way. "You don't know who you are either, do you?"_

_I immediately felt defensive. Just how did she know that? And how was I to know she wasn't a threat? I didn't know anything, and who was to say that this girl—who was conveniently in this odd place—hadn't brought me here? Then again, I'd been here for so long I was starting to lose my mind. I was starting to forget everything I'd tried to hold onto. Just like that, I didn't care if she was a threat. If I could talk to her, maybe I'd be able to hold onto something. Any fate was better than rotting in the deep dark corners of your own mind. "I don't know who I am. Sora's just a name that's always been here. I know I came here for a reason, but I can't remember why."_

_"You came here for Naminé, didn't you?" _

_I didn't spare a glance at the girl's odd question, but rather chose to look ahead. If I just believed I knew I'd find a meaning to everything. Hope had always gotten me through any situation. "Naminé's only the shade of someone I once knew. But the shade's all that's left. I need to get out of this place so I can protect what's left of her. But to do that I'll have to relinquish my hold on the real girl completely. What would you do if I were me?"_

_"I think the original girl would love you enough to allow you to save the one who deserves it."_

...

"Sora?" I tried to open my eyes at the sound of a new voice, but something was wrong. Everything was way too dark. How could my eyes open only to see such Darkness? "Sora!" A voice called again, but I couldn't ignore it this time. The force of an inferno shot up both of my arms as bonds of Light cut into every inch of my body. Though I screamed, I was glad for what was happening. It put everything into perspective. Suddenly I realized who I was, where I was, and everything that had happened. I smiled demonically when my eyes locked onto none other than the White-Haired-Wonder. "What can I do for you, Riku?" I spat out coldly because it was he that had been torturing me and calling my name.

"You can go to hell for all eternity." And then he was giving me _that _look again. The one that implied I was nothing compared to his superiority.

I bit the inside of my cheek in an attempt to not roll my eyes. Just moments (or what felt like moments, I couldn't really be sure) earlier I was pondering which way to kill the son of a bitch. And now he thought he could contain me? Just because he'd given me some odd happy dream, and had me stuck to a wall? Had he never heard of creativity? "Well, if Marluxia has his way this place will be a living Hell. So you shouldn't have to weight too long. Speaking of fire, where's little Kairi? It's rude standing me up when I have huge plans for her." And I did have plans for the little wench. Just because I couldn't kill her yet, didn't mean she had to have all of her limbs, either.

As it was, Riku didn't think I deserved all of my limbs either. Bringing Way to Dawn to my heart, he infused it in a white Light before impaling it into my heart. I didn't make a sound. Even when I felt like a disease was taking over my veins. I could feel blood fill in my mouth, and I made sure my teeth were covered with it when I smiled at him cheekily and said, "Missed."

That was all it took for him to remove the lethal weapon and cast a healing spell on me. I couldn't help but look at him curiously. But he only looked down at me as if he wanted to kill me. I knew the feeling. If I could, I would have made it so the infuriating (and somehow marvelous) Kairi would never have to endure his presence again. "Kairi would never forgive me for killing you."

The guy was a complete idiot. Did he not know how easy he just made it to toy with him? I would have much rather toyed with Kairi, but until I found away to free myself, I'd take what I could get. "You don't have a chance with her anyway. Funny how you'd give her your heart, and she's fallen for the person that doesn't even have one. She would have let me kill you, you know. I saw it in her eyes. If I would have been the Sora she 'remembers' she would have killed you-"

"Shut up!"

I saw stars for a moment as he roughly threw my head into the wall. Behind it was another beam of Light that unfortunately rattled my system enough to make me want to vomit. I would have vomited on him, if I didn't want to look weak. "I was wondering when you'd start slapping me around. You're so cold, Riku. A lot colder than me. But you really have a love for fighting. It's too bad you can't show that kind of love in the bedroom. No wonder Kairi was trying to have her way with me. I like a woman in charge, but I'm already-"

And then came another blow. This one was a simple punch to the face. It left a mark, but didn't keep me from laughing at the fool in front of me. "I said shut up. Even though I can't kill you, I can happily cut out your tongue. The only reason I haven't is because I can make a deal with your sorry ass."

"The only deal I'm interested in is one that makes Kairi my slutty slave. Otherwise-"

"A deal to save Naminé. You fucking idiot."

It wasn't possible. I'd tried many times to free Naminé. And each time it came back to haunt me. If we tried to run away, the one moment I was gone, Marluxia would find Naminé and abuse her even more. I was unable to kill him because of my dwindling power with the Keyblade. If I tried to kill him with my Dark powers, I got too out of control and would kill Naminé, too. Marluxia was too strong. And the entire World That Never Was was filled with Heartless and Nobodies under his control. It was a suicide mission. "You'll never win. Why would you even want to defeat him, anyway?"

And then Riku was giving me an "you're so stupid" look. Despite myself, I found myself wondering if he was right. "Why do you think? You may be a piece of shit, but it's only because of Marluxia's orders that you kill anyone. And if we can kill him, we can bring peace to the worlds."

I was shaking my head before he'd even finished his sentence. I may have been an idiot, but he was no genius. "You'll never save Naminé. Because of her power, someone will always come around and try and take her away. I can't fend off the world-"

"You don't have to Sora. Just until her existence goes into Kairi."

I hadn't a clue what he meant. But one thing was abundantly clear: he'd never intended to keep his promise. He would kill Naminé one way or another. And somehow Kairi would be the cause of it all. _"Just until her existence goes into Kairi."_ The words played over and over in my head. I knew what I had to do.

Channeling all of the Darkness inside of me, I searched for the Darkness in the bonds that held me up. Sensing the Darkness in Riku's own being, I knew it had to be present in the bonds, too. At the price of a gory bloody nose, I released myself and wrapped Riku in his own bonds. Being the sissy he was, he instantly began screaming. That was all it took for, a ton of people—some I recognized as more of Marluxia's targets—to come barreling in. I hissed at the onslaught of Light. Just moments ago it'd been to Dark for me to truly make out anything, now it was all too bright. I reasoned the door they'd come from led to the outside. I would leave, but I needed something first. I searched the faces for a short moment, but none of them were who I was looking for. Embracing the Darkness within me, I set to locate _her_ scent. I found just that in a library three floors below.

Teleporting, I found myself looking at a swollen eyed Kairi. It was obvious from the trails on her cheeks that she'd been crying. It made what I was about to do even more heinous. I moved to walk over to her, but stopped when I felt blood from my nose drip onto the floor. I really was taxing out my system after being harmed by such Light, but there was no alternative.

Kairi must have heard the blood hit the floor because she was staring at me wide-eyed. She moved to run away from me, but she was no match for my superior speed. I dove over the table that separated us and had her in my arms within moments. She struggled against me, and I tortured her with some of my Darkness to halt it. In the end, her struggling would have made her suffer more than she needed to. She eventually became sluggish against me, and I couldn't fight the urge to kiss the top of her head and say her name in apology. "I really am sorry for this, Kairi. You don't deserve this. But Riku's threat against Naminé, you being a threat against Naminé, has spelled out your fate."

I felt her tears mix with my blood. But soon her blood would be mixing with my tears. I would teleport before the resistance found me. But it'd be after I snapped her neck.

**Author's Note: Ugh. I don't know how I feel about this chapter. The first flashback was supposed to be entirely different, but I lost what I'd originally written and had to come up with something else. I liked the original better:/ By the way, the game where it feels like you're falling through floors is real. I played it when I was a kid. You get a story read to you, and you have to be laying a certain way for it to work. Actually, you have to have someone holding your arms a certain way and have your eyes closed, too.**

**As for the second flashback… I know it's confusing, but it'll make sense later. But don't expect Sora to suddenly start believing everything next chapter, either. Sora you're an idiot, but I love you. Even if you are scaring me. Gah. I created this version of Sora. What does that say about me?**


	4. Doused

**Doused**

I held Kairi's neck between my hands. I was just a moment away from breaking her neck, but my hands hadn't processed my mind's order yet. In that one moment, everything changed.

"_Sora, you mustn't kill her!"_ As an inclusion of a new voice (a voice coming from nowhere) rang off the walls, the shock pushed me into roughly knocking Kairi into the water below us. I had somehow teleported us into some underground cavern, and though the water was shallow, I didn't trust Kairi to not drown in it. Hastily, I moved to pull her head from the green looking water. But she instantly shoved me off as she turned on her side to cough up water. She ended up vomiting once, but it could have been for the shock of everything as much as her body's need to dispel the excess water.

I rubbed soothing circles in her back—I was almost unaware I was doing it—as I tried to somehow make a connection with Naminé. It seemed as if it was my love that had told me not to kill Kairi. But why would that be? _How _could that be? I'd never heard Nami in my thoughts before, and why would she want me to spare the girl I'd been tasked with killing? It was possible I could have imagined Naminé's voice. But until I knew for sure, I couldn't do anything to the black haired girl.

Black hair? I knew of course that it was the water making Kairi's hair look darker than it really was, but why did it feel like I'd known someone that resembled her? "Did you ever have black hair?" I asked when she'd finally gotten her breathing regulated.

"What kind of question is that?" Her voice sounded hoarse, and I idly wondered if she'd somehow ingested salt water. Maybe her throat was just dry from throwing up? My thoughts were interrupted when the girl started shivering. Her teeth chattered at such a rate that it could have been a beat to a song.

Heaving a sigh, I leaned over the girl and used an Esuna spell to cure anything out of the ordinary in her system. It wasn't lost to me that she stiffened and tried to back away. She was too weak to really move, and I oddly found myself sympathizing with her, but I was a bit offended. "If I wanted you dead you would be."

Her words got caught in her throat; I considered performing another Esuna spell on her, but she quickly found her voice. "I thought you were going to..."

"Rape you?" I asked with a sinister smile and raised eyebrow.

She gulped once, but didn't try to get away. She probably knew she was in no condition to fight me. "I've thought about it, but I wouldn't betray Naminé that way." It was damn tempting though.

She blinked a few times, and I wondered if she was more startled at my admission, or my morals. "You seemed more than willing when I was an active participant." A blush colored her cheeks, and it suddenly became very obvious that I rarely saw Naminé blush. When Kairi did it, it looked like flames were igniting her cheeks.

It was hard not too find her shyness endearing. I almost wondered if I was blushing when I informed her, "You're very enchanting." Just a few minutes prior, I would have seethed at the idea of Kairi's name and the word "enchantment" even be used in the same sentence. Something had happened though. I didn't know what it was, but the moments we'd spent in the dimly lit cave had changed us. Perhaps it was that Naminé had informed me not to kill her. Without reason to kill Kairi, I really had no reason to oppose her. In fact, I felt as if she could help me somehow.

Before I could make a move in response to my new thought, Kairi had begun to sneeze and cough her head off. "My immune system is horrible!" She said it as if it were the most grotesque thing alive. I almost laughed. Almost.

"You're soaking wet. Here," cupping my hands together, I guided a fire spell over the contours of her body. The good thing about Dark powers was that you had much more control over it than Light powers, but to use the power of Darkness, you had to mostly give yourself up. If Kairi was right, and I somehow did have a Heartless that was controlling my every move, I probably didn't have much time until I lost my mind again. I feared being a poor match for Naminé, I feared what Marluxia had planned for me, but mostly I feared what I was capable of doing to Kairi. My Darkness didn't want to just extinguish her Light. It wanted to overpower it. It wanted to destroy it in every way possible. It would try and take away her sanity first. "Kairi, who are you exactly? And what do you have to do with Naminé and me?"

Her expression became notably solemn at this, and it was in that moment that I knew she'd somehow been keeping the animal in me at bay. But how? "I'm Naminé's Nobody, Sora." She said as she stared at her feet. I was actually glad I couldn't see her facial expressions; I was too busy trying to figure out my own. My face was reflected at me in the water, and I found myself staring at Kairi beseechingly. With a hasty breath, Kairi continued to recount the truth she'd kept from me. "She should have lost her heart, but her power of memories allowed her to hold onto it. Memories, after all, are what make up the heart. Somehow I was still created. At one point you fell in love with me, but when your heart was destroyed you lost all of that."

Everything she said made an eerie kind of sense. That was why I had memories of her resurfacing, and it was why I felt for her. As I looked at both of our reflections, it was all too obvious we had aged. Nobodies weren't supposed to age, so that made Kairi and me special. Kairi was the one fate wanted me to be with, and I couldn't allow it. Though she meant something to me, I knew I would have to kill her someday. For the first time in I don't know how many years, I found myself crying. I was able to ask Kairi one question before my split personality split me into what I'd become. "How old am I now?"

"Eighteen. The same age as me." I smiled at her sweetly, but not before my blue eyes turned gold. Not before mocking someone became my life's calling. "Well, well, well, if the little witch can't spin stories. But you can temper my Light. For that Kairi, I will make you suffer."

The stupid girl was crying again, and I wished I could have murdered her like I'd intended. Kairi glared at me blurry eyed and said, "I'm sick of crying."

She seemed proud of herself for saying it, but I had no idea why. "Too bad. When I'm done with you, you'll actually drown in the ocean of your tears."

I prepared myself to lunge at Kairi—Naminé's warning left my mind all too easily—she was a threat that could undermine all that I thought I knew. But I halted when I saw her curl into a ball; she didn't even move to defend herself. I would have killed her if something hadn't stopped me. I was held in midair as I looked at the trembling girl. I immediately wanted to accuse her of restraining me, but I knew it wasn't her. Suddenly I felt as if my mind had left my body. I could still clearly see her and myself, but I could also see a younger version of us.

_"It's my lucky charm, bring sure to bring it back to me." A ghost of Kairi's voice said._

_I clutched the charm she'd given me to my heart as I tried to assure her. "Don't worry I will."_

I held my head in agony and crumpled to the floor as I looked at the small girl beneath me. Just like that, I remembered something else, too. Kairi had been curled up fetal position before I joined her on the dock. She'd been so upset that Riku had changed, but tried to hide it from me. She'd made me promise I'd never change. However, it wasn't until after she'd given me her charm that I'd promised myself I'd be whatever she needed.

"You gave me this?" I asked incredulously. Moving to my feet, I pulled the charm Naminé had given me out of my pocket and dangled it in Kairi's face. As I imagined her face engraved on the surface, I got the insane feeling that I had shown this charm to Naminé before. But how could two charms have turned into one? How had Kairi's charm morphed? I wanted to deny what was staring me in the face, but I was unable. Kairi had given me the charm—even in the shape of a star it somehow resembled the charm from my memory—and Naminé had lied about it. She'd also changed it somehow. But why?

Kairi looked at me with shock evident on her face. Though the jewels that were her eyes were still saddened, shock was the dormant expression. Perhaps she was surprised she wasn't dead yet? I actually was too. What was holding me back? When Kairi finally gathered her thoughts, I got my answer. "You remember that?"

I had had enough. Crossing over to her, I pulled her up by her throat as I tried to strangle her. She tried to pry my hands off and kick me, but it was to no avail. I was mildly irritated that she was a Keyblader, but so helpless. "Idiot!" I chastised the strange girl. "Do you want to die? You're going to start telling the truth now! What happened to the good luck charm? Why do I have two memories about receiving it?" I tossed her to the ground only when I realized she needed air to talk. Once again she was hacking and coughing, but I felt no need to help her. She could write the answer in her own blood so long as I got it.

"I manipulated your memories once; made you believe things that had never happened. That memory was the primary one. Its shape was changed when I changed your memory, but Naminé gave you that. When she destroyed your heart, everything went back to normal." After Kairi got the words out, it looked as though she was going to puke (again). But I knew she wasn't sick. It was as if the words themselves sickened her. Surprisingly, I knew the girl well enough to know she wasn't weak. There was more to this than I thought. I promised myself that I would confront Naminé about anything and everything. "I still don't really know what 'love' is, you know." I told her with the trace of a smile, but it was also a scowl.

"And I still don't have an answer."

I was more disappointed by her words than I should have been. Was that why I would let her live? To satisfy my own curiosity? She would most likely find the answer through Riku.

Ugh. Now I felt as though I was going to wretch. "You can go." I said purposefully looking away from her. "As of now, I have no reason to hold you here."

Kairi—who had finally found the strength to stand up—came over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I quickly pulled away, but the area she had touched remained warm. Warmth, I hadn't felt that in awhile. Not since... since I had brought Kairi to my house for the first time.

I just barely heard Kairi say, "I once had an answer, though."

...

_Kairi's hand was in mine when I led her to the pigsty that was my living room. Kairi would have never been the kind to complain about it. So why did I have the urge to answer something she'd never question? "The living room is more like my room. My room was originally upstairs, and my parents' room was downstairs. But I wanted to stay up later. I think they really made the switch so I won't wake them up watching TV."_

_Kairi blinked at me a few times, perhaps she was contemplating what to say in response to that, but I quickly changed the subject. "What do you want for dinner? I can make pizza rolls, pizza bagels, pizza, and—my specialty—hot dogs!" Kairi giggled at my culinary skills, and decided to think about it. Taking the lead, she dragged me with her as she jumped over the back of the blue couch, only to sit in the beanbag chair instead. The carpet was also blue, if one looked past all of the stains. I sat in an orange circular stain on the floor waiting for Kairi's answer. "How about spaghetti? I can cook it myself, and I think you need a break from pizza." _

_"That's what Riku always says!" I whined whilst slouching against the beanbag chair Kairi was sitting in. _

_"Riku makes pasta?" Even as I sat against her legs facing away from her, I was able to note her raised eyebrow._

_"No. Riku only makes sausages. But he says I need a break from pizza."_

_Kairi's tongue clicked against the roof of her mouth as she once again deliberated how to say something. "Where is Riku?"_

_I bit the inside of my cheek as I waited for Kairi to begin running and screaming away when she heard the answer. "He's only been over here once, but he can't come over again. People always leave me when they come over here for a second visit!"_

_Maybe it was the hysterical note in my voice, but Kairi didn't assume I meant people didn't like my house. No, she knew I was talking about people dying. She cradled me in her arms instantly and stroked my face as my tears fell. "I won't leave you, Sora. Not even if I want to hangout here again. Wherever you go, I'm always with you. Even in death. Just you remember that. If I die... I'll become your guardian angel." I'd never felt a warmth similar to the kind that radiated off of Kairi. Not even in my loving parents' strong embrace. It was that moment I realized I was in love with her. The girl I had saved the day she washed ashore had really saved me. Kairi would undoubtedly make a beautiful angel._

...

Words swam in my head separately, and all together. At different times, and at the same time. Coherently, and incoherently.

_Even in death, even in death, even in death. _

_I'll become your guardian angel. If I die... I'll..._

_Wherever you go, I'm always with you._

The last words particularly resonated against the walls. I barely noticed that I was trying to rip my heart out. I especially didn't notice that I was repeating Kairi's words until my lips became chapped with use. Even after I could only think, "Make it stop!" in a loop, I said nothing but Kairi's words.

I needed to get out of here! I needed to stay and talk to Kairi. I needed to kill Kairi! I should kill Naminé for keeping things from me. No, I needed to love and protect Naminé.

It was with that last thought that I opened my eyes. Had I really been asleep? I thought I'd been awake. I felt like I'd gone through the ringer. I felt like I had been in limbo. Blinking the eye crusts away, I looked into a stunning pair of blue eyes. But they mirrored my own more than Kairi's. I was in a room that looked whiter than the snow, and it was only platinum tresses and blue sandals that told me I wasn't out in the snow or someplace equally unpleasant. "Naminé?" I asked, but even that was a struggle. She wasn't alone. Marluxia was looking down on me, too. Though he only looked calculating. Naminé, at least, managed a smile. Kairi was all too noticeably dyed white. Why else wouldn't the angel be there? "Naminé." I said again as more of my mental faculties started to return. Was it because I lost my mind or regained it that I pulled Naminé to me for a heated kiss? I felt warmth with her, too. And I could almost bare the thought that Kairi had left me.

...

In every story there's a moment when the protagonist makes himself expendable to the antagonist. Maybe it's an order that doesn't get followed that causes it. Maybe it's the severing of a particular bond. More often than not, it was through the need to protect a girl that pushed the boy to throw everything away. I was anything but a protagonist. But as I fingered the pages of one of James Patterson's novels, I almost felt like I was. _Maximum Ride_ was truly an interesting read. It made me question my own origins.

There was a knock on the door, but Naminé entered before I was able to open it. I smiled at my own personal angel, and couldn't help but imagine myself as Fang and Naminé as Max. Our personalities didn't really fit, but Nami might as well have been my Avian American girlfriend. She even looked the way Max was described. "You read?" Naminé asked as she sat beside me on my boring white bed. She placed my legs in her lap and I was almost distracted enough to not notice the insult. Almost.

Naminé tried to brush off the impromptu insult she'd given me, but she didn't need to. I knew she was only joking. But I was also able to sense a cadence in her voice that wasn't necessarily normal. I brushed off the thought as much as she brushed off the insult. "I haven't had anything better to do while I've been resting." My face slipped into a frown when I thought about the exact reasons why I needed to rest.

For a short moment, all the memories Kairi had implanted in me had come rushing to the surface. I'd gone through a mental breakdown as I relived things I'd rather not have known. I'd even been very sick, but it wasn't surprising really. My body had been trying to eliminate a phantom of my mind. What really shocked me was that Kairi had left me all alone during my bout of insanity. I knew I'd threatened to harm her (an understatement) many times, but I'd thought she would have cared enough to...

What was I thinking? Why did I want her to care? Despite my betraying thoughts in her presence, I did need to kill her. If Marluxia found out she was still alive...

Inspired by the thought, I looked at Naminé imploringly as I tried my best to think of a way to phrase, "Why the hell did you lie to me?"

Naminé, being Naminé, instantly knew what I really meant. "You can't kill Kairi because she's my Nobody." At that, Naminé got up from where she was sitting on the bed and crossed over to my desk.

For a moment, it almost seemed like it was Naminé I'd drawn a picture of. Naminé's portrait I'd thrown thirteen darts at while imagining her death. I shook the macabre thought off (I tried to convince myself I'd only thought of that in finally understanding Naminé and Kairi's connection), and instead put into words what she was trying to hide. "The destruction of Roxas has affected me badly, hasn't it?" There was less anger in the words than there probably should have been. Instead, I was reminded of when I'd been unable to really remember anything. How many times had Naminé had to tell me that I'd killed Roxas? How many times did she have to tell me he was my, my...

Suddenly the saying, "Speak of the devil and he shall appear," made sense. I should have never questioned my inability to remember things! Just when I'd thought I finally had a handle on myself, my previous thought left me and I was left to stare at Nami in stunned confusion." What were we talking about, Kai?"

Naminé stared at me in horror, and I wished more than anything that I could turn back time. What a great slipup that had been. Not. What had even possessed me to think of Kairi while talking to Naminé? Was it because of their connection? Or was it because I was thinking about Naminé's nickname and I thought of one for Kairi? But as I thought about it, I realized I'd never called either by a nickname.

I needed answers! I tried to recall the fake memories Kairi had given me (memories that had put me through a mental flu), but could find nothing. Were all my memories like that? Would I lose them all? Did I really remember anything, or did I just know what I'd been told? "Naminé, what's happening to me?" The way I sounded so childish: weak and afraid, sickened me.

Naminé, perhaps realizing I was starting to have a panic attack, gave me one simple instruction. "Summon the Keyblade, Sora." God bless that girl! Aiming to do just that, I cleared my mind of all things except the Keyblade's voice and the warmth I felt in Kairi's presence. With a flash of Light, Kingdom Key came into existence. And with the Keyblade filling some of the spaces in my mind, I was able to find inner peace. I was able to starve off the many voices in my head. No not many. Two.

Like cold water sloshed in my face, I saw what had been there all along. I had split personalities. It had never been a conscience trying to get to me. No, it had been my Light and my Darkness battling. Right now, I was stable. Perhaps my self-given illness had shocked both sides of me into submission. Or maybe there were three versions of me. A Light, Darkness, and In-Between version. I could feel voices clawing in my mind. I knew the Darkness would win.

Maybe it was that thought that made Marluxia's appearance more than a downfall than it could have been. Expecting us to live only for him, he didn't even announce himself when he strolled in to _my_ room. "I see your time with Kairi has paid off."

My veins turned to ice at the words, and I had the gnawing feeling that it hadn't been me in my feverish delirium that had told him what had been going on. Maybe it was because Naminé just didn't do guilt well, but with one look in her direction, I knew it'd been her. "You told him?" It made no sense why she would, and I wanted to tell her such, but I was suddenly incapable of words.

"All I instructed sweet Naminé to do was draw a picture of where you were. Though it gave away your secrets, you should be happy. If we hadn't found you, you could have died with that fever." Marluxia strolled up to me and lifted my face up. I bit my tongue to drive off many thoughts and feelings. I finally knew what it was like to be in Naminé's shoes. "You're probably wondering if I'm going to punish you for treason." Though I wished very much to, I didn't react to his words. It'd give him too much to work with. "You can relax. I know you only meant to regain your Keyblade. It seems you did just that."

Marluxia patted me on the back, and the condescending motion finally made me snap. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to go back to Riku and tell him you want to help him. You'll take the resistance down from the inside."

"And if I refuse, what will you do to me?" There was a noticeable silence as we all pondered over why I hadn't included Naminé in that statement. Was I really so mad at her that I didn't care what befell her?

Before I could really think it over, Marluxia was giving his answer. "I'll find someone else to kill Kairi when it's all over." The Darkness rattled at the cage I'd momentarily put it in. I would never allow that to happen!

Inside my pocket, Naminé's charm turned into Kairi's.

**Author's Note: So, I'm probably going to forget some things I need to explain. But here I go. First off, I'm not using some insane plot twist. Kairi was obviously lying to Sora about being Naminé's Nobody. Basically, she saw an opportunity to make Sora believe there really had been something between them, and she took it. Also, this chapter went a lot differently than planned. But I like it. Some things have been revealed, but other questions have arisen. And I have no idea why Sora was reading **_**Maximum Ride**_**. It just found its way in here. Tis one of my favorite books. Anyway, please review!**

**By the way, can anyone guess where Sora and Kairi were at most of the chapter? It's pretty obvious, I think.**


	5. Ignite

**Ignite**

I brought Oblivion and (my newly created) Oathkeeper up in a wide arc as a Neoshadow tried to get the jump on me. With barely a flick of my wrist, ten Neoshadows were wiped out. That only left the Invisibles then. Rain pelted down on me as I stared at the moon above Memory's Sky Scraper. Kingdom Hearts had been complete for a long time now. If it even had the power to restore hearts, it should have by now. My eyebrows creased and my lips turned downward as I scowled at the false deity. It was because of its power that I'd become what I had. It was its fault that Naminé had a dysfunctional boyfriend. Why couldn't it just give us the hearts it owed us? Maluxia, even Kairi, and me, we were waiting for a miracle. As more and more black blood coated my Keyblade, I felt that miracle would never come.

_I'd hoisted myself up the side of Kairi's house again, only to have nostalgia chill me to the bone. It was so much like last time... but now I knew why it'd felt so familiar. In my fake memories (or so I was guessing) I'd more than likely scaled her house many times. It was somewhat odd that the memories were so vivid. It was as if my muscles really had coiled in a way to ascend the house more than once._

_What was weirder was that I was even _here_. Sure Kairi was stubborn to a fault, but would she really be here after I had deliberately told her not to be? After I'd warned her of the danger? Yes, the naïve Kairi would very much be here. _

_Proving my thoughts valid, Kairi opened up her window the same moment I was about to. Pulling on my forearms, she hefted me up and into her room. Rubbing the offended areas gingerly, my eyes locked on her. It didn't escape my notice that she wasn't wearing what she had last time. No, she was much more covered this time. A baby blue nightgown followed her every curve, and as the curtains moved to and fro with the billowing wind, so did her long hair and dress. She placed a hand to her restless hair and smiled a bit tiredly. "You came."_

_There were many things I should have said like, "How'd you know I was coming?" or "What's it to you?" _

_Perhaps I should have explained my reasons for being there. Instead I walked over to her twilight colored bed and fell into it head first. Her decorative cow might have fallen from her desk, but I didn't pay it any mind. "Why are you here?" I asked from beneath her covers. Mostly I was trying to suffocate my anger._

_Her weight shifting was the sound of a creak on the floorboards. With my sharp hearing, I could hear her biting her lip before saying, "Do you mind not killing Mr. Cutie-Patootie?" _

_Sure enough, as I got off of her small and bouncy bed, I saw where I had been laying on her stuffed rabbit. The decorative cow (that I _had_ knocked off) seemed to glare ominously. Rubbing my tired eyes, I ventured how I should go about my musings without losing what was left of my sanity. "If I remember correctly, the last time I was here, I told you to never return to this place."_

_Kairi set her face into a scowl as her eyebrows knitted in a cute way. "It's not like I'm living here. I just came by to visit my parents."_

_"Yeah," I began whilst squeezing the bridge of my nose, "because living with the resistance is _so_ much safer."_

_"Are you here to kill me?" There was a certain weight in her words, but she was able to pass them off as if they were nothing. Walking over to her bed (and tripping over an upturned floor tile in the process), Kairi sat down and held Mr. Cutie-Patootie in her arms. "I guess if you're here to kill me, you can kill Mr. Cutie-Patootie. He wouldn't want to live without me. Or ____Monsieur__ Moo, but you already killed him."_

_I shook my head to rid it of its straying thoughts (and to somewhat rid it of the stupid names she gave things), and glared much the same way Kairi had, but I wasn't as successful at arching my eyebrows. "What is wrong with you? How can you be so nonchalant?"_

_Much to my ire, Kairi burst out laughing. Though it wasn't mocking (for once), it was still annoying. She had to clutch her stomach and fall over in her bed before she stopped herself. "I didn't know you knew that word." Kairi said with a giggle coming out every now and again. I was quick to give her a look, and as she pressed her lips in a firm line, she finally managed to sober up. "I'm not being nonchalant, Sora. I'm expressing doubt. You've never had it in you to kill me. You've never had it in you to kill anyone."_

_I stared at her for an immeasurable amount of time before I could process what she'd said. Even then, I could only shout curt remarks. "You're a fool! I've killed so many people. Were you asleep all the times I hurt you?"_

_Suddenly, Kairi was standing up from her bed (I didn't at all like the way the fabric lifted up to expose her creamy thighs, or the look she was giving me), and crossed over to me. Mr. Cutie-Patootie was all but forgotten. She placed a hand to my heart, and dangerously leaned her head against it. "You never lost your heart, Sora. It's just been damaged. I can hear its heartbeat and can tell you're lying." I was about to say something, but she effectively cut me off with her lips. It was nothing overly fancy, but I did trace her tongue with my own, and it did shut me up. Pulling away, Kairi gazed at me with a lopsided smile. "You've always regretted what you've done, Sora. Why else would you have let me go that night? Why are you talking to me now?"_

To use you as another one of Marluxia's pawns_. But I knew that wasn't the truth. I'd even forgotten my objective when I'd started conversing with her. She was right about my infatuation with her, but she wasn't right about the rest of it. Sure, I'd regretted my deeds, but that was only one side of my split personality. The other side reveled in deaths. How dare she question what I knew to be true? "You're wrong!" I assured her as I shoved past her. _

_I was planning to jump out the window and end the conversation, but the _clank _of a Keyblade materializing stopped my efforts. "This Keyblade is named Destiny's Embrace. If I die, I will relinquish its full power to you. So why don't you kill me now? You'll end two problems at once, so just do it." I knew that this was a test. She made it obvious it was meant to be with her words, insane ideas, and confidence. So why did it seem she had come slightly unhinged? "Go on, kill me!" She pulled my hands forward to grab Destiny Embrace's hilt. Pulling my hands even further she cut an area just above her heart and blood instantly began to fall in rivulets. That wasn't the only thing. Soon Kairi was sobbing nonstop, and I could only stare in shock. Was this how I'd been affecting her? How had she been able to keep herself sufficiently in check? My hands wobbled and Destiny's Embrace fell to the ground before disappearing in a flash of light. Kairi looked up at me with evident shock. "What are you waiting for?"_

_"To see what you do next." I answered with all truthfulness. And though I hated how vulnerable I'd made myself, I knew because of it that I could never let this girl die. She was as woven into me as Nami__né was. "What are _you_ waiting for, Kairi?"_

_Her response was instant and doubtless. "A miracle."_

_Grabbing onto her shoulders, I willed my magic to cure the girl before me. To cure all she'd been through, all I'd done to her, and all her self-induced injuries. "Miracles are something you have to create, Kairi. Take me to a resistance meeting. Let's create a real miracle and stop Marluxia."_

_"Okay."_

It had been so easy to believe in the impossible then. The fire that was Kairi always seemed to ignite me made me aspire to achieve the impossible. But had I just bit off more than I could chew? I already had my hands full with Nami. I was also confident that if Naminé knew of my actions around Kairi, she'd forgive me. That was the brunt of it all right there. There were days that I wished Naminé could hate me. I could deal with hate, but Naminé's goodness I would never measure up to.

The lucky charm that had morphed into Kairi's was dead weight in my pocket. It was nothing but proof of my betrayals. I hated myself, hated my life, and hated that I had to go to the stupid meeting! I killed more and more Heartless, I wasn't sure if the screams I heard were theirs or my own. The only thing I knew for sure was that it was raining. Time was running short.

...

I was standing outside Kairi's room (again) when I wondered if this was a good idea. Every time I went over the threshold something dire happened. First I had decided to let her go, and secondly she had nearly tried to end her own life. What if something like that were to happen again? What if I killed her? I couldn't take that chance. In the end, I knew I had to switch things up. Instead of appearing through her window, I teleported right behind her. She was facing her largest mirror again, but her eyes were closed. Though she didn't have a shirt on yet, she had it covering her chest. But that left her back exposed to me. I took in a huge gasp of air as my hands locked on her shoulders.

It was quite ironic. I'd wanted to deflower her only days prior. So why did I value her usually exposed skin more than what I'd been seeking? "You're getting sloppy." She said before humming a tune. She opened her eyes to meet mine; in that moment I knew I could look into those eyes for a thousand years and never be cheated of seeing true beauty.

"How do you know I wanted to sneak up on you?" I asked while kissing her bare shoulders. Why was it that the words made me feel like we were an old married couple?

Her face shifted into that of a pout as she put her hand atop mine. "You always liked to shock me." She giggled adorably, but I was reminded of a time when she'd been bubblier.

At fourteen years of age we'd been on the beach. But what was shocking was that I'd blown a raspberry onto her exposed shoulder. Both of us fell back into the sand, but not before I'd embraced her stomach while we both chortled.

I blinked a few times to force myself to face the here and now. I barely noticed that Kairi had put on the red silk blouse while I had been "remembering". _Kairi_... how I wanted her! But Nami had always been my true love. What I had with Kairi had and always would be a lie. That's why... that's why I walked back over to her cursed window. "Do you want your lucky charm back?" I asked away from her. "For some reason it changed back to your version. I don't know how to put it back, and I don't look at it anymore, Kai, so-"

My words cut off when I heard her intake of breath. I turned around half expecting Marluxia to have his scythe against her neck or something of the sort. Instead she cried whilst smiling. "You called me Kai."

I wasn't able to ask what she'd meant by that because in just one heartbeat her bedroom door had banged open to reveal the White-Haired-Wonder. "Kairi," he began, but I noticed his lock was on me in a tired mask, "We need to be leaving for the meeting soon. You know Barret doesn't like the idea of us all being together so out in the open."

Kairi's gaze took a long moment to break away from mine, but when she looked at Riku it was with nothing but happiness. "Of course, Riku. I just need to get some potions and-"

"You're going with Sora, Iri."

I looked at Riku confusedly. What in his right mind had ever made him think of letting Kairi go with me? I knew I wasn't likely to hurt her, but he didn't have a clue. It was also very noticeable that he'd called her "Iri" and not "Kai". Maybe "Kai" wasn't as common a nickname for her as I'd thought. "We could always create a Corridor of Darkness together." I offered. I really didn't want to spend a moment with Riku, but I didn't want to be alone with Kairi either. Was he really wary of me so much that he couldn't traverse through my Corridor of Darkness? Why was he trusting Kairi to them them?

"The committee needs to see you've brought Kairi safely to us yourself."

"What? That's the-" Kairi's arms tugging at my shoulder halted my words.

I looked at her meaningfully, and she smiled at me just as meaningful. "I understand where Riku's coming from, Sora. You don't mind escorting me, do you?"

My answer was to pick her up bridal style (and to once again feel like we were married). She squeaked in protest, and I didn't need to see Riku's face to know he was the one that was truly protesting. "What are you doing?" She squealed.

"I'm trying my best to protect you from the Darkness. It probably won't do the best job, but you don't want to traverse the Darkness defenseless." Suddenly the charged air shifted significantly. It needn't be said what a hypocrite I was, but then again, I was mostly Darkness now anyway. What more could it do to me?

"Sora, I-"

It was Riku, not I that cut her off. "Just listen to him, Kairi. I'll meet you in a few moments, but I should probably _prepare_ some of our friends.

Kairi nodded against my chest, but I didn't give it all a lot of thought as I opened a Corridor of Darkness and headed for Radiant Garden. Kairi's lightly clad (why was she wearing sandals?) feet swished from side to side as I supported both of our weight. It was harder to carry her than I anticipated. It wasn't that she was heavy (anything but that), but her Light was practically playing Russian roulette with my Darkness. Kairi didn't seem to notice though. I almost wondered how my Darkness wasn't hurting her... "Why is your breathing labored?" Kairi asked accusingly. So much for her not noticing...

"The Corridor's hurting the last of my Light." I lied.

Kairi looked at my face then. Thoughtful. "Is your Light really disappearing?"

_Yes, but you make it less painful_. "I guess. But I don't really understand the mechanics of it all." I managed to smile crookedly at Kairi, but she wasn't one to easily be appeased.

"Do you want to lose your Light?"

_No. I'm afraid of what I'm capable of. What I've done... _"If Light didn't exist, we'd never know we were in pain. We wouldn't see wronging."

Kairi buried her face into my hair, and it took me a moment to realize she was crying. She always seemed to be crying, but I didn't think her at all weak for it. Kairi's crying made her stronger to me. It was a testament to all she could bare, all she could get through, all she could feel... "But without the Light we wouldn't know how to protect; we wouldn't know how to create something better. We couldn't love."

"Whatever that is." I chuckled, but it came out more strained than I'd intended. What was it about Kairi that made me question and consider things? She made me strive for things. And I almost wondered if I ever really had strived for freedom before I met her. She was so unlike Naminé.

Proving just that, she sat up somewhat in my arms as she clapped her hands together. "I know! Let's make one of our promises true! Sora, you can hold onto the lucky charm as long as you don't give up on the Light."

I had every reason to deny her, but I was aware that I had denied Kairi everything. She'd had to lose me, my memories of her, and had suffered physically and mentally because of me. Knowing that a part of me was currently rattling its chains for a chance to kill her, I knew I could give her this one thing.

...

Kairi drew Destiny's Embrace as soon as we reached the end of the tunnel. I looked at her curiously, but she just shrugged her shoulders and said, "You can never be too prepared. I don't know where you're going to 'land; us at."

I rolled my eyes at her poor wording. I also chose to ignore that she had (stupidly) rarely summoned her Keyblade in my presence. What I did say was, "I can only take us places that I've been to. We should end up right where your boyfriend was torturing me." Just the thought of that day was enough to almost make my Darker side takeover. How dare he plan to hurt Naminé? How dare he pursue Kairi?

Kairi rested her hand on my cheek, but it was only there for a moment before I let her down onto her feet. "About that..."

"I'm not going to kill your love." I said annoyed.

Kairi scoffed at me, but I could tell from what I knew of her that it was really just a mask. "I kind of doubt that. And it's not that that I'm worried about."

Turned on by her fury, the more playful, wittier, and destructive me wanted to be let out. But I knew how awful it'd be for the meeting. I was just barely able to reign myself in before the tendrils of Darkness were pulling to reform us someplace else. I'd been through this many times and let the Darkness soothe my Dark parts. Even so, I still worried that my efforts to protect Kairi would be for naught now that we finally reached our destination.

Thankfully, the Darkness only held her for a short time. As the swell of Light engulfed our senses, the striking difference was enough to make you dizzy. It didn't help that the Light lasted only moments before throwing us into the dark again. I was immediately hit with the smell of dirt and as I looked about the small-enclosed room, I realized why it had been so dark the last time I was here. Why it was so _dark_ now. "It's a bunker," Kairi said in line with my thoughts. She pointed her arm out, and the difference between her arms length and where she was pointing seemed infinite. "The tunnels were crafted to be under Radiant Garden's castle, but above the waterway. One could easily exit to get water from the Rising Falls, but with no bubble that led here, no one knew it existed." Kairi's breath shook somewhat at the end. And I got the feeling that it wasn't just the ghost of things not said that we'd be dealing with.

Kairi pulled my hand into her own, but I didn't fight it. As I looked into her eyes, the Light within her was almost tangible. I felt like I could see exactly who she was beneath her hardened mask and skin. Kairi's soul betrayed no Darkness, and it made absolutely no sense. "They've probably started convening by now," I mused as she pulled me down the vast halls. The oddest thing was the further we went, the more legit the structure seemed to be. Paneling that had most likely been used for the castle's main walls served as sign posts for those who might get lost. The almost golden hues of the walls spelled out warning: I am important, but you couldn't find me. Now you're in my lair. Yes, it seemed even those deemed good had their own evil lair.

Eventually we came up a sort of hill that we had to traverse through before we came face to face with the sort of door one might see on a safe. Entering a code (that I tried not to pay attention to), the door was quick to open for Kairi. She climbed up the incline before hefting herself down through the slightly narrow door. As I followed suit, I noticed there was a ladder we had to climb down before the expanse of area began to widen. Jumping down to our feet, we were brought to a wall, but it didn't separate rooms. No, it only half separated sides. It was very much like a divider. Looking around the crystal wall, I could see about seven people standing around a cherry wood desk. The room itself opened with an almost high rounded ceiling where the white crystal (perhaps from rocks down here?) cascaded down to enclose the people in what really seemed to be a room. I tried to peer at the map they where looking at, but it was only to wonder _why_ they were looking at it. Red "Xs" covered every surface of it; it seemed all their plans thus far had gone sour. I was going to ask Kairi about it, but she was already answering something else. "This room has always been beneath the castle. It was designed to hide the royals if needed. It's very sound, but you might not want to fight in it or anything." That was a warning, but what I didn't realize was that she wasn't telling me to stay out of fights.

Pulling on my hand with her own now damp one, she ushered me around the side of the wall to join the others. I was abruptly glad that she _was_ holding my hand because as soon as I walked in the room, I was picked up by the neck in an attempted strangle. If Kairi hadn't been there the familiar looking boy (with brown hair and cloud-blue eyes) might have been successful in killing me. "You killed Rinoa, you son of a bitch!" He spat at me. Darkness was infused in his every word. I was about to use it to my advantage, but he dropped me to soon. When I looked over and saw Kairi pointing her Keyblade at the young man's neck, I couldn't help but stare at the irony. "I'm sorry for your loss, Leon. But things are complicated. You know that."

The guy dubbed "Leon" gave Kairi a heated glare, but he stalked off anyway. I wanted to ask who this Rinoa was and if I really _had_ killed her... (Even without a lot of memories, I'd thought I'd never targeted women), but I was unable to ask as I was enveloped in a bear hug. It was a very difficult thing to not summon my Keyblade and decapitate the anthropomorphic animals, but I didn't. Partly because Leon was standing by a spiky haired redhead who was glaring at me more angrily than he had. "Sora!" Came the voice from the duck looking creature, but it was looking into the dog's face that made me remember something else.

_"What are we going to do?" The voice of Donald—I remembered his name now—came out in desperation._

_"There's nothing you can do!" Came the voice of the White-Haired-Wonder as he darted up the stairs to reach the saddened animals. "He's pure Darkness! He can't control anything now. He'll destroy us all. He's already uplifting the entire castle we have to get out of here!"_

_A look of desperation crossed the dog's—Goofy's—face. "We can't leave Sora. We promised we'd be there for him!"_

_"And you will be, but at a later date." This voice was accented and came from a man clad in red bandages. I had no idea where he'd come from, but I never found out. Marluxia had pulled Naminé and me through a Corridor of Darkness._

"Sora?" Goofy asked me questionably. But it wasn't me that pushed he and Donald away. Once again it was Riku. He simply just shook his head and motioned for everyone to have a seat at the table.

"Where is everyone?" Kairi asked concernedly. As she looked at Leon and his friend, I knew she was mainly concerned about what they would do.

A raven-haired girl with wine colored eyes simply shook her long tresses before saying; "They weren't as comfortable about Sora being here as you are Kairi, but Jiminy's chronicling the entire thing for the King. He wanted to be here, but..."

Sure enough, the cricket I now remembered, rested on Donald's shoulder with a mini Journal in hand. I wasn't entirely sure what to do with my memories of him, Donald, and Goofy. Maybe this was why I threw myself into the meeting. I looked at the other nine faces for a short moment before I said the absolute truth, "You want to kill Marluxia? There's only way to do that. Steal the evil clown from his funhouse. Away from The World That Never Was he won't be nearly as strong."

A blond man with blue eyes blew smoke from a cigarette into my face. I was about to object, but I realized it had been implied when he spoke. "Well, we have his assassin right her'. I can't imagine a better way to dethrone the mother fucker." The raven-haired girl raised an eyebrow at his word choices, but let it go. Even so, he said, "Shat up, Tifa!"

I ignored their little feud, and continued what I'd been saying with my hands beneath my chin. "The only problem is getting Naminé out. I will not commit to this with-"

The redheaded man slammed his hands down on the table ignoring what I was about to say. "Why should we even trust him, Cid? Kairi," I didn't like the way he was addressing the thoughtful girl and crossed my arms over my chest to show it, "You say he's better now, but he's still the same! All he cares about is Naminé! I don't trust him! He says he's a triple agent, but can we believe that? It's because of Naminé that he killed Leon's Rinoa. That he killed Roxas and Xion and everyone else!"

This time, I slammed my hands on the table as I glared at _him_ (I tried very hard not to think of the two girls I'd killed). "If you trust anything, trust this! I will do anything to save Naminé from that scum! Anything! I've had to see him break her everyday. I want him dead more than any of you!"

"Well, that's good to know."

In every story there's a moment when you know you've fucked yourself over. When you wish you could go back in time. Those moments are what shape an entire story, and when I turned to face Marluxia, I could only hope I'd take the right course of action. "However, you don't seem to have Nami's best interests in heart. Does she know you're cheating on her?" My eyes couldn't even move to my and Kairi's joined hands. I was much too shocked. He had something in his hands... It was white with something red, too. As I got a closer look, I realized it was Naminé's typical dress. My mind was sluggish, and I tried to figure out how it'd been stained red.

The moment I figured it out, he threw it into my face. "She begged for you until the last moment." I couldn't breathe, I couldn't blink, I couldn't be... I felt as though Riku had stabbed me in the heart again. Naminé. Nami. My angel... my angel was dead.

Marluxia must have seen me shut down because he gave me one incentive. One thing that would change everything and keep me his slave. "Well, I guess she hasn't had the last moment yet. You might be able to make it to her if I tell you where she is."

"Please!" I exclaimed with tears streaming down my face. I wasn't past begging for my Naminé.

"Kill all these people, Sora."

_Hehe. Looks like I can kill Little Kairi, after all_. Came an excited voice in my head, but I paid it no mind. Naminé was somewhere bleeding to death, I could save her, but at what cost? I wasn't even sure I could get to her in time!

All hell officially broke lose, and a battle raged.

**Author's Note: Mr. Cutie-Patootie… totally stole that from Phineas and Ferb. LOL And the decorative cow is a tribute to a chapter in one of my fav fanfics, "Breathing" by TifaGainsborough. I love Zack and Aerith!**

**Anyway… Ven is dead. Yep. Castle Oblivion was destroyed much the same way the Land of Departure was. Ven'd body is destroyed and his heart is stuck in Sora. I'm sorry. I love Ven, but it was crucial to the story. Ven's heart is officially Sora's so he can dual wield all the time now.**

**Also, you now know why Donald and Goofy (and Jiminy) left Sora. DiZ, who was watching over everything in CO, alerted Riku when everything went sour. Riku, DiZ, Donald, Goofy, Mickey (who they hadn't found yet at the part I wrote), and Jiminy all escaped in a Corridor of Darkness. It's kind of like how Marluxia escaped with the fucked up Sora and Naminé.**

**Rinoa is also dead. Gah! All of this makes me so sad, but it has to be done. Poor Squall... and Axel. Which, if you didn't figure it out, the redhead with spiky hair was him.**

**Also, I don't know if it's clear, but Kairi's cut her wrists some. But I don't know if I'll go into depth about it.**

**You know, I feel a lot of this chapter was inspired by FFXIII's ending. LOL **

**Please review!**


	6. Simmer

**Simmer**

Moving like the air, instead of the water that was her element, Kairi darted forward as if she were flying. Destiny's Embrace was gripped in her hand so tightly that her knuckles appeared white. She sliced in a downward cut aiming for Marluxia's right wrist. He moved his wrist out of the way in time, but as his sleeves rustled against the faux wind, I could see the cards inside. They were almost crowned shape, but the base was longer. I had seen these cards before. It had been in that castle with Donald and Goofy. We had been forced to rely on cards to fight.

I was brought to the present again in just enough time to hear Kairi utter what I'd been thinking. "Don't let him get anywhere near you! If he samples your memories, you'll be powerless unless you wield those cards!" Unfortunately, Kairi's words did more bad than good. Tifa was very much the kick boxer, but like any, she couldn't stand the blow to the head that Marluxia's scythe gave her. He'd been aiming for her brain while she'd been aiming for his wrist. Both had barely missed their mark.

Jumping over a table, and knocking various chairs away in the process, Leon dove for Tifa. As something prickled at my memory, I realized that Tifa looked very much like Rinoa. To his credit, he didn't call Rinoa's name when he tried to heal her. Leon was not the kind for magic though. And he had left himself wide open as he moved to focus his mana. Making a snap judgment, I leapt into the fro just before Marluxia's petal spears could rain down on him and the dying Tifa. Unfortunately, it was in such a way that my back was to Marluxia. I had to hold my Keyblade behind my back, but over our heads simultaneously. "What are you doing?" Leon asked wide-eyed as Donald aimed a firaja spell at Marluxia and missed his mark. I gritted my teeth as the flames danced up my back, only to ignite over my head. I saw stars for a moment, and fell into an almost drunken state. "Avenging Rinoa." I said languidly.

That right there was enough for Axel. Setting his chakrams aflame, the spiky-haired rogue hurled them at Marluxia with much pent up fury. It did meet its target, and I had the insane idea that we just might be able to win this. "Donald, get over here and heal Tifa. Goofy you join up with Cid and defend Kairi," I did not say this because I thought Kairi was a hopeless little girl, but rather because Marluxia had moved his attacks onto her. Perhaps he'd known I wouldn't stop protecting Leon and Tifa and had looked for someone else to torture me with. Kairi was doing very well with sharp melee attacks, but she could only do so much with Riku draped over her shoulder. The boy had fallen victim to Marluxia stealing his abilities, but fell even more victim to Marluxia's scythe. Cid was doing a good job deflecting flower petals with his spear, but he could only protect Kairi for so long. "Axel, Leon, you're with me."

Though I was ordering the two that hated me the most to back me up, neither seemed to mind. Leon hefted his gunblade over his shoulder, and Axel prepared to light a column of flames. I drew Oblivion and Oathkeeper (I couldn't even summon Kingdom Key by itself anymore) and pointed them dangerously close to Marluxia's neck. "It's over, Marluxia. Tell us what you're planning, and I might consider not torturing you to death."

My comrades in arms relaxed their positions somewhat as it became all too apparent that we did have him, and would win this.

However, Marluxia was never smug for no reason, and his expression showed nothing but smugness as he ran his hands over his scythe. "Now, now, Sora. How stupid do you think I am? Do you really think I'd give you this much free reign?"

Marluxia looked at me as if I were his pet goldfish. He'd only ever worn this look once before, it had been the day I had first confronted him, the day I learned of his shadow. "Shit." Came the breath from my teeth. "You're not him, are you? You're his shadow."

Marluxia, or his shadow, patted me on the head. How he'd even gotten this close to me, I had no idea. "You're still my good little boy, aren't you? The boy that would do anything for Naminé when he's not consumed by bloodlust."

_Naminé..._

Naminé?

**Naminé!**

My breaths came out in short gasps as I remembered what I'd all too easily forgotten. Naminé was dying. Dying! And I had the ability to save her, but I was doing anything but. I'd already tried to repress the pain, hadn't I? I had convinced myself that everything had gone as plan, and that after I destroyed Marluxia we'd be together, but what had I done? Naminé could be dead by now!

When I came out of my panic attack, it was only to reveal that I'd never be able to control anything. Marluxia had summoned dozens of Heartless, and they were currently battling and subduing my once allies. "I'll give you one chance, Sora." Kairi's eyes locked onto me at this, and it was only then that I realized Marluxia had kept the Heartless away from her. I didn't, however, know where Riku was, but I didn't really care either. "Kill all of these people and me, well, the real me," Marluxia said with a chuckle, "will heal Naminé. But if you defy me again, I'll kill her with the monstrosity you also learned about that day, goldfish."

No, no, no, no, no! He couldn't kill, Nami. Especially not with that! Those two prongs like horns were wider than Naminé's small frame! Just thinking what it could do to her... I shuddered. "I'd choose fast if I were you! She doesn't have much time left."

The moment I broke down into tears, I regretted it. My eyes were blurry and I couldn't see my prey even if, even if... "Marluxia please! Even if I tried, I couldn't kill them all that fast! It's impossible!"

"Actually it's quite possible, if you give into the Darkness! It's consumed you before, you just don't remember it. Do as I say, Sora." Marluxia pulled Kairi into his arms and she didn't even have time to scream before his scythe tore through her arm. Even facing Marluxia (and Kairi) I could see the blade poking through the other side of her arm. I saw a look of suspicion cross Kairi's face, but I was more focused on the vein he'd lacerated, too. "This will be the least of Naminé's injuries if you don't." He smiled wickedly when he caught me glance at Kairi. Yes, he had been clever in poking holes through the girl that looked so much like Nami. I couldn't even imagine... "I don't understand what the hold up is, Sora."

Just like that I was consumed by something, but it wasn't the Darkness he had wanted.

_"I don't understand." I'd said after I'd come out of my self-induced coma. "I remember you, I know my duty's to you, __Naminé. But you destroyed my heart. I'm not even sure how I _can_ be aware of anything."_

_Naminé slumped down at this. As she rested her knees on the white painted plaster that was The Castle That Never Was' floor, I was reminded of how well Naminé blended into her surroundings. It had been when we lived on the islands that I'd said the girl was chameleon like. If only I had known my future then! Amongst the lackluster walls that were her room, Naminé was almost an apparition. Though she screamed, Naminé's terrors were kept trapped within herself. I truly hated myself for bringing this up. I'd made her feel inadequate, she was already suffered enough... I had only just woken up so..._

_"It's my fault, Sora. Marluxia kidnapped me from the islands, but you suppressed the memory. You blamed yourself because it was that day that you'd told me you liked Selphie. I ran, and as you know, I was subdued. Marluxia wanted my power. A power that let anyone see the past, present, and future as long as I drew it. Years later, after you obtained the Keyblade and saved the world once with Donald and Goofy, I led you here to this castle. I'm so, so sorry, Sora. But I was so alone! When Marluxia found out your feelings for me—when he found out you could use the Keyblade—he forced me to destroy your heart!"_

_Tears sprang lithely down Naminé's cheek, and I was quick to move in front of her as I cupped her face in my hand. I swept away the tears that fell from her left eye's ducts whilst smiling. "I'm sorry I went into a homicidal rage afterwards, but I like to believe I was defending your honor." _

_I'd said this in an attempt to cheer her up, but as Naminé's face creased in that of guilt, it was all too obvious that I had failed. "Oh Sora, that was my fault, too. Your Darkness had consumed you; your heart was in tatters because of me! I never should have heeded Marluxia's orders. I always try to do right for you, but only to screw up!"_

_I pushed Naminé away from me in shock. Gripping her shoulders a bit too tightly, I wondered what it was that kept this girl from seeing her worth. I looked at her appraisingly and let my returning memories do the talking for me. "But you did save me, Naminé. You did! Sure I had enough of my mind left to choose to hurt myself, but who led me back while I recovered?" Yes, it had been Naminé's heart that had kept what was left of mine tied together. But when I'd been in a coma, she'd shared with me her memories, and had allowed me to hold them in my own heart, so to speak. Despite how messed up I was, I would have been a lot worse if Naminé hadn't saved me in every way (again). "And who restored Donald, Goofy, and everyone else's memories the way you did mine?" Naminé had let everyone hold onto the truth, but in the end it had cost her the ability to grow up. She'd allowed everyone else's minds to expand, but it had cost her so much... "We're together, Nami. And that's all that matters. That's all that has ever mattered. I was an idiot to ever think Selphie held a candle to you. And now I have the time to make up for it."_

_One moment I was caressing Naminé's hair as she tried to control her emotions, and in the next she was kissing me. I barely had enough time to register it was my first kiss before the Darkness began clouding my mind. Naminé had done a bang up job of repairing Marluxia's toy, but I was still weakened. It was always that kind of weakness that let the Darkness control anyone. I barely heard Naminé say, "I will love you no matter what," before the tendrils of Darkness licked at my mind. After the Darkness engulfed me, I would have no recollection of the prior conversation._

I... I hadn't made up for what I'd done to Naminé. She was most likely dead, and it was all my fault! If I could have just followed orders everything would have been all right. But now... now I'd never-

"Sora snap out of it, please!"

"_Naminé!" _I screamed inhumanly as I knocked the bitch to the floor and hovered over her. She looked up at me in shock, and I wanted nothing more than to violently rape the girl below me just to get revenge on her. _It would destroy her sanity first_. While it was true that my Darkness had aimed to torture her, my Light wanted it even more. Without Naminé my Light would dwindle into nothing. At least this witch had the advantage of Heaven. I would always have Hell, so what was one more atrocity on my record. "This is your fault! You're the one that made me regret things, that made me even think of rebelling! I may be a monster, but your selfishness puts her blood on _your _hands! You just had to bewitch me, didn't you? Was once not enough for you?" I banged her head on the crystal floor, and could almost see the stars form behind _her_ eyes.

I was about to punch her in the face (beating her to death sounded like a lovely option now), but I was restrained by Marluxia himself. I punched, kicked, and bit at Marluxia as he held me in midair, but it was to no avail. "How quickly you forget every spell and ability you ever knew."

The words triggered something in my head, but it was gone before I could really even grasp it. "What are you doing? I'm doing as you said; so let me finish the job! As soon as I get to her, I'll kill the others!"

Marluxia was vain enough to wipe off a smudge of dirt that fell atop him somehow, but neither one of us really paid it any mind. Kairi, however, coughed where I had strangled her (I didn't even remember doing that, I had really lost it when I was blaming her), and with admirable strength stood up (after she had healed her concussion) and spoke diplomatically. "This place was designed to stand against attacks topside, but not down here. If we stay down here we risk a cave in, and let's be honest, Marluxia. You don't want us to die so easily, do you? Truthfully, you only want one of us to die, and Sora has a nose for smelling me out."

I eyed Kairi suspiciously. All of my earlier suspicions going out the window as I wondered how she seemed to know Marluxia's new plan. Hell, she knew it long before I did, so what did that mean? I barely noticed that Marluxia spared Kairi a look of shock before resuming to his plotting again. "You have a point, princess. But why would I ever let these people live? They mean nothing to me, and as you've pointed out, Sora can find you very easily."

Kairi shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, and the air of a smirk made me clutch my heart in agony; I could only guess what she was going to do. Destiny's Embrace was sheathed into the crystal below us and she turned it clockwise, but it seemed to take every bit of her strength. That bit was all she needed. The entire hidden passageway, maybe even the entire world, was engulfed with blistering hot Light. The torture wasn't only for the Light itself, but it felt as though it was sympathizing for me. Sadness, regret, self-hate were all things that I felt within its depths. Sympathy was the second worst emotion I could imagine. I didn't need it. But I knew Kairi empathized with me, too. As the last bits of Light felt like empathy, I couldn't help but wonder if what I was feeling were Kairi's own emotions. If so, then Kairi suppressed even more than Naminé. I regretted everything that I'd ever done to Kairi. She was just another form of Nami, after all. Kairi's eyes locked on mine sadly before they closed altogether, but I couldn't allow myself to believe Kairi was dead, too. When the Light finally took us somewhere else, I realized that the bastard had escaped the Light's judgment altogether. Marluxia was nowhere to be seen.

_I blinked my eyes a few times in trying to dispel the odd water that was falling from them. I was in a room. It was white, but different from the other white rooms in the castle. Why it was different, I didn't know. There was almost a yellow tint to certain objects but I didn't know why._

_I didn't even know how I'd gotten here or why my hand was wet. Why was my hand wet? "Sora?" _

_I slammed my hands down in shock only to splash more water at myself. But I couldn't bring myself to care. I'd know that voice anywhere. "Naminé!" I said with an odd catch in my voice._

_Just like that, Naminé was sprinting over to me. She jumped over an island (was that the right word?) only to have one of her duplicate white dresses split at her thighs. She landed on the island, but flipped herself over the edge. I knew she was exhausted, but without even halting, she stole my hands from the water they were in and held them in her own. She rubbed them up and down. But I could only stare at them confusedly. There was something cold against my hands… oh, she'd put a towel between them._

"_Sora, what are you doing?" Naminé asked me warily. She eyed the bin of water on the stove (that's right, I was in the kitchen!) and frowned deeply. "Why did you steal the ice cold water that Marluxia was using for torture?" Her voice was shaky as the towel shakily slipped onto the floor._

_Her voice sounded broken, but for what I couldn't tell. I cocked my head to the side and gave her a lopsided smile. "I wanted to cook you something, but there was no water."_

_Naminé chuckled her sugary sweet laugh and burrowed her head into my chest. "That's sweet, Sora. But you're silly. But haven't you heard of faucet water? And aren't your hands freezing?"_

"_Free- freez- freezing?" Whatever I said must have appeased Naminé because oddly enough, she pulled my hands to her breasts and held them there._

"_Naminé?" I asked and was cool enough to hear my voice squeak. "I, umm… sweat a lot here in the summer. If I put your hands in warm water they'll crack, but I think they'll warm up here fast enough." _

_I didn't doubt that. My hands were beneath her dress and were resting on her blistering hot skin, but… "My hands aren't cold."_

_It took Naminé a moment to respond. With pressure, she put her hands atop mine. Almost as if she were coming out of a trance she said, "What?"_

"_My hands aren't cold." _

_She removed my hands from her as if I'd frozen her. She shivered once and I barely heard her mumble, "How can that be?"_

_I put my hands on Naminé's shoulders and she jumped a little, but we quickly went back to our usual dynamic. "Who's he torturing in there and why?"_

_Naminé's eyes bugged out, and she decisively turned away from me. I knew this was going to bad. "Marluxia's trying to get someone to help you, but they're not being cooperative. Actually, I should return the water before he notices." Naminé hastily grabbed the bin and stalked off, but I was quick to run after her. Since when did Naminé stand up to Marluxia?_

"_Naminé!" I called off louder than I should have in trying to be stealthy. "Let me take it."_

_Thankfully, even though Naminé seemed to be on a mission, she stopped and indulged my pleas. Or at least I thought she was going to. "I can't let you do that, Sora. If I do, you'll be destroyed."_

"_Destroyed? I don't-" _

_Naminé put a finger to my lips and kisses my cheek to shut me up. "I won't let her hurt you, Sora." When she pulled away from my face, when I saw_ her_ face, the fierceness in her eyes was fitting of only Kairi._

...

When I came to, the first thing I noticed was the intense use of ebony. I was staring at something familiar looking. A pink-ish and cream-ish expanse of soft material. For the life of me, I couldn't remember where I was or what had happened. Until I heard her moan of pain.

It all came rushing back to me very fast then. What I was looking at was Kairi's charred back from a close point of view. How Darkness had hurt her when she'd enclosed us in Light, I had no idea. But her actions, her powerful ability over Light, had come with judgment too.

Now I had to pass my own judgment on her. I tried to stand up once, but the throbbing in my head rejected the notion. I tumbled face down into a green mossy bit of grass. At least I thought it was mossy, but it was too dark out to tell. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip and used Oathkeeper as a crutch. As I wobbly got to my feet, I looked about only to get the insane notion that the shadows had turned against me. But as my eyes adjusted to the lighting, I could tell that what I'd really seen were the unnatural cuts of the shrubs. What a strange world this was! And if one looked into the sky, but paid attention only at where the bushes rose, it really did look like macabre hands were out to get you. The dark lavender sky didn't help much, but maybe that was just my malicious sensibilities that thought so.

When I gazed at Kairi again, I was almost amazed at how her hair, in this darkness, looked so much like the sky above us. I wondered if it was fate's way of telling me that it was time she went to the big kingdom in the sky (the castle shaped bush beside us, and the actual castle behind us, couldn't do Heaven justice, right?) As I pointed Oathkeeper's tip dangerously close to her jugular, I was a bit sickened with myself that I wouldn't even give her the chance to fight back. But in the end, it was better off this way. I rose Oathkeeper up (I mentally promised myself that I'd find a way to never dual wield again; whenever I thought of dual anything now, I thought of Marluxia's device stabbing Naminé twice), and lowered it down to Kairi's head. It was, however, met with resistance.

Kairi somehow summoned two of her _own_ Keyblades and deflected the attack with ease. Oathkeeper went sailing out of my hands, and I could only blink in astonishment. Kairi wasn't as impressive as I'd first thought though. Right after she'd deflected the attack, she lost hold of her Keyblades and fell to the ground much like I had. She didn't show any sign of getting up soon; I knew she was still exhausted from taking us away (though I had no idea where anyone else was), and from the Darkness that had somehow attacked her. I rested on my knee and looked down at her as I tried to figure out the mystery that was Kairi. "What was that about?" I asked her oddly humorously. "You've just worn yourself out even more. Is delaying your death a few minutes really worth it?"

In truth, I really didn't want to kill her. For one thing, her death could harm Naminé (though she was already dying now), but I also found myself curious about certain things. How did she seem to know Marluxia? Why had he called her "princess" when she clearly wasn't one? If anything, Naminé—Kairi's original self—should have been royalty, and she wasn't. I also found it pressing that she seemed to be able to feel more and more every time I saw her (something a Nobody shouldn't be able to do at all). And if I continued with those thoughts, I wanted to know how Kairi had connected with my old friends. The real question was how she was connected to me! She even lived on Destiny Islands, the place I now remembered as my home.

I was pulled out of my reverie when I heard Kairi's sharp intake of breath. The girl sat up, and locked eyes with me. Somehow, I knew just by the action that what she said would be truly pressing. "Naminé's not dead, Sora. Marluxia just wants you to believe that she's dying so you'll never betray him again."

Though Kairi and Naminé obviously had a deep connection, how was I supposed to believe anything she said? Kairi hated and envied Naminé. It didn't help that her life was on the line, either. I'd been able to tell from the nature of the conversation that Marluxia did want me to kill Kairi. He just hadn't wanted her death to be fast. If this was what it took to save Naminé... "How can you say that? I saw her blood! I can sense it was hers, so-"

"It was her blood, but not the kind you're thinking of. She's not dying. Marluxia's just pulling your strings again." Never in all my life had I ever been so irritated with someone! Could she have been anymore evasive? My entire future was hanging by a thread, and she was choosing her words carefully? If that didn't show she was lying, I didn't know what did! "Actually," she began again either oblivious to or ignoring my anger, "Naminé's gone. She left, but I'm not sure why. I don't know where she's at either."

I ignored just how ecstatic I was just at the possibility of Naminé truly being fine and having escaped. Instead I asked something much more pressing. "What do you mean by 'it was her blood, but not the kind you're thinking of.'?"

Kairi's face became so red that it matched her hair completely, but in this lighting it looked more near violet. I didn't know if she was embarrassed, angry, or both. "I can't tell you that, Sora. If I do, you'll attack him. You'll lose and you'll give him exactly what he wants."

I tackled Kairi to the ground immediately. The way I dug my nails into her shoulders was undoubtedly painful, but I couldn't let her evade this, I had to know. "What do you mean?" I tried my best to add malevolent-ness to my voice, but somewhere along the line, it had lost its effect on her.

"That right there," Kairi said going off of what I said, "is another way you'll give him what he wants. If you kill me and it has the desired effect, it'll be too late."

In the end, Kairi might have given me my every answer right then. But I wasn't listening to anything she was saying. How could I? She was making absolutely no sense! Everything I knew was based on one thing, "All Marluxia wants from me is the Keyblade. And he only wanted that because he found out about it through my careless attempts to save Naminé."

Kairi—after pushing me off her—raises an eyebrow at this. I instantly remember this as her "are you for real?" look. "I'll give you that it was because of Naminé that Marluxia got his hands on the Keyblade master. But he knew about it before hand. The entire thing was a trap."

"What that's-"

Leaning over me—where I still hadn't chosen to sit up for whatever reason—she stole another kiss to shut me up. But I didn't have time to react before she was speaking again (with a very smug look on her face, too). "Also, Marluxia does want something other than your Keyblade. It's something only you can give. If he just wanted a Keyblade, why didn't he just try and control me, the 'helpless little girl' instead of someone like you?"

I hated to admit it, but she was right. Everything she said made sense. Marluxia had never wanted Naminé's power. He'd wanted mine! No, he wanted something different. Still... I had to believe that Naminé was still a victim. I had to! It was much like how I had to believe that Kairi was still a villain. "Why should I trust anything you say?"

"Because I'm going to help you find Naminé. And because I'm your friend." Why was it that, when all I cared about was Naminé, that I liked the idea of her as my friend slightly better? We'd always been this way hadn't we? Kairi was the side of Naminé, I'd known as my friend. Even in my false memories, Kairi had always been truer than anyone I knew. With her I knew I'd be able to accomplish what I'd once deemed impossible.

Kairi stretched her hand out and I took it with ease. We crossed the courtyard lethargically (Kairi was still quite hurt), but even in the dark we didn't damage many things in our way. "Where are we going?" Suddenly, the world we were in held much interest. The symbols I was seeing looked familiar.

There was a catch in Kairi's throat when she said, "The Datascape."

**Author's Note: Fanfiction is evil I'll update this Author's Note and the chapters when I'm able to. I'm also going to participate in Script Frenzy so might not be able to update as fast. Sorry. And the first part of the story is now over. Onward to part two!**


	7. Embers

**Embers**

Call me old fashioned, but I don't understand how being "friends" could work when said "friends" were distanced. Kairi had left where I was at in the Datascape to go to a different one of my memories. She'd been crying when she did just that; I couldn't help but feel she was being a hypocrite. Well, not a hypocrite per se. Don't get me wrong; I love reliving memories of my Naminé as much as the next person, but it was rather pointless. We were wasting time and Nami needed me. If Kairi hadn't seemed so sincere with her new plight, I probably would have suspected she was plotting against Naminé.

Heaving a sigh, I realized that I'd have to wait a bit longer for Kairi to show her face again. Having nothing better to do, I acted like the spectator of a play. Like right now, I had realized that Nami had in fact lost her heart. Even through the memory, I could feel her hair brush my fingers as I held her. As I begged her to open her eyes.

But why... why did the memory seem flawed? Why did it seem as if Naminé's hair shouldn't have been long enough to reach where my hands were? Shaking my head, I noted that I'd now impaled myself with the Keyblade. Though I was slowly fading away, I could her the fearful tone in her voice. But it shouldn't have been fearful. No. It had been more shocked and determined than afraid. When Naminé caught me before I disappeared, I knew that something wasn't right. There were no bracelets touching me when she caught me in her arms. Why did I remember bracelets?

The sudden intake of breath was enough to clue me in that Kairi had rejoined me. Sitting on the circular floor, she sat cross-legged on the strange violet rug. Holding her chin in her hand, she looked as astonished as Naminé had sounded in my memory. Well, the way I remembered it, that is. This Journal that Jiminy had kept had to be flawed in some way. "This is..."

Sitting down on the floor beside Kairi, I interrupted what she was at a loss to say. How much had she learned of me through this Jornal's memories? Did being Naminé's Nobody allow her to know things? "Yep. This is where I first found Nami after she left the islands. It's a bit bittersweet, really. Even though she's able to revive me, we aren't able to be together. She gets pulled away from me and ends up in her own oblivion. I really blew my promise to Riku, didn't I?"

Kairi tugged on my hand, and I instantly found myself looking into her lovely eyes. Her eyes held so many secrets from me these days. Once upon a time, she'd told me everything I didn't want to know. Now she told me nothing. Was that what it was to be a friend? To spend time with someone but fear what they might do all the same? "I think Riku must know that your duty belongs to the world and not to Naminé. Naminé's more capable than you know. I imagine she's found her wings already. Soon, you won't have to worry about anything ever again."

Suddenly, the area around us changed. I noted that we were on a level slightly higher than the rest of the room. Everything was an odd blue color and seemed quite unnatural. "What happened?" I asked whilst peering around for a stray Eliminator. This had happened once before and I'd had to protect Kai from a very powerful Heartless. Well, dangerous to her, anyway. It was cakewalk for me.

"The Datascape must notice you're making a new memory. It can' take us anywhere else because it has no data for this new memory. I guess the System Sector's similar to a big playground."

For some unexplainable reason, my damaged heart lurched at her words. She seemed so _sad_. I instantly knew what this was about. "You brought me here so I'd remember something of you, didn't you?"

Kairi shrugged nonchalantly; it was almost easy to believe she didn't care when I took in her laid back posture. Her face, however, told it all. "I might have. But I should have known better. This Journal reflects your heart. I guess I've been denying what your heart's wanted all along. I'll let you go Sora, but I _will_ kill Marluxia. I owe us both that much."

And suddenly all the pieces began to fall into place. I darted to my feet as I tried to make my mind associate that Kairi was the danger Naminé had once tried to protect me from. The freezing water he'd been using to torture someone had been for her. It had been Kairi there that day. And it made perfect sense, really. She was a person of Light and warmth. It was the coldness and numbness of the Darkness that would harm her. Combine that with freezing cold water, and it was no wonder that she didn't seem to be using her full power. She was damaged.

In that moment, I realized Kairi was every bit as insane as I was. I also realized that I needed her—needed to protect her—as much as I did Naminé. Falling to the ground, I could do nothing but hang my head and sob. Clutching her shoulders almost too painfully, I mentally begged Kairi to somehow feel what my heart was trying to say. "I'm so sorry, Kairi. I was sick then, but even so..." I hadn't protected her. How could I ever expect to do so now? More than that, I would probably kill her someday just because my Darkness lusted for her in all the wrong ways. There was nothing more dreadful than the word "friend". How could I even think of her as that with all of the awful things I'd done to this sweet, defenseless girl? When I longed to do worse things still? But there was another longing, too.

A longing to say something that was on the tip of my tongue. Though it was there, my mind couldn't figure out what it was.

I fought the urge to vomit as Kairi pulled me into a warm embrace. It should have been me comforting her, but as always, I was too weak to do what I should. I relished the Light that attacked me in her close proximity. I deserved nothing less. "Sora," Kairi said as a tear fell from her cheek to land on my head, "you have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who would have allowed your heart to fall apart. In that moment I saw you as Marluxia's pawn, I valued the universe more than you. _I_ doomed us for tragedy. Don't blame yourself for this. _All_ of it is my fault."

We could have sat there for minutes, days, maybe an entire lifetime, but eventually I noted that the scenery had changed again. It wasn't a void like the System Sector, but rather like one of Naminé's blank drawing papers. It was full of possibilities, unconscious activity and Light itself. I recognized it immediately for what it told me. _Create a memory with Kairi that makes up for your mistakes._

I seemed to be of a different mind when I stood up once again, helped Kairi up, and pulled her into my arms. I willed her to hear the music in my head as I began swaying from side to side with her.

"We're dancing?" She asked as her eyes became less vacant, as she encircled her hands around my waist.

I shrugged as I brought her against my chest. "We could be. I don't really know anymore. Maybe it's all a dream."

It seemed like one, actually. As we danced, the scenery changed at a rapid pace.

I clearly had lost my mind. Suddenly, all of my memories with Naminé were being filled up with Kairi. Spinning Kairi around faster than the images appeared, I pulled her back to my chest rather roughly. She smacked my chest with her hands and we both laughed. "Maybe you're right, Sora. I always dreamed of going to a dance, but it seemed so pointless without you. All the guys I know are faceless, but you somehow make up my entire vision."

_And you do the same to me_. I didn't say it, but I might as well have. We both knew it to be true. Even Naminé was an afterthought when I was with Kairi. Maybe... maybe it would have been better for everyone if I'd chosen to remember Kairi. Now... now I was a slave to my memories, and-

Whatever I was thinking trailed off when I saw Kairi bat her lashes in a certain way. She called my name and I was powerless to resist that call. When I kissed her in a way I didn't know I was capable of—gently, sweetly, and purely—I noticed that, for once, my Darkness wasn't lusting for more of her body. Or her blood.

But blood would undoubtedly be poured. As I looked at the ever-changing scenery, I thought I saw Xemnas' face. That moment would document the beginning of the end.

…

Kairi was angry at me, but I couldn't really blame her for it. It seemed that I was always the one angry with her, but given the situation, I could understand why she'd be unhappy. Interrupting the mood by telling her I saw Xemnas wouldn't be forgivable in any female's book. Especially when she saw nothing when she looked for him herself. Yes, she was owed her anger.

But I knew fate was owed her life many times over. She'd come close to dying (usually by my hand) many times now; I was unable to overlook whatever it was I'd seen.

"Kairi!" I cried out whilst jogging to keep up with her, "Kairi, wait!" The scenery had taken on an interesting change. It now looked much like a shuttle train, but I imagined that it was more than that. Somehow, something was solidifying in my memories. Something was solidifying in this Journal. I'd be damned if I let her be on the receiving end of a collision. Finally latching onto her arm, I turned her towards me rougher than intended. She didn't make a sound of protest, but her glare said it all.

I imagined she wouldn't think twice about throwing me onto a railway at the moment." What?" She demanded as she tied her hair up into a messy ponytail. Where she'd gotten the hair holder, I had no idea. But I was grateful for it.

Pulling her into my arms, I cradled her head and body to my torso. "I have a bad feeling. I can sense that something's coming."

Kairi opened her mouth. Perhaps she had meant to protest, but as Oathkeeper and Oblivion manifested in my hands, she was silenced. If my Keyblades agreed with my assessment, there was no arguing the danger. Pushing her behind me (where she almost fell on the slick, muddied grass), I headed into the direction that my heart led me. Well, where my Keyblades led me anyway. Kairi snorted deep in her throat. When I turned to look at her again, she was holding Destiny's Embrace as well as Kingdom Key.

I didn't have time to ask how she had my Keyblade's true form. Suddenly, the train derailed off of its imaginary tracks. With a metallic screech and an array of sparks flying everywhere, the means of transportation careened towards us. I heard myself call Kairi's name, but I didn't have time to say anything else. I could only pray that Kairi would guess my meaning.

She did. Twisting her body up into the air, Kairi used her Keyblades like ski poles and dug into the train's roof. Hefting herself up onto the platform, I could barely make it out when she began running for white cloaked beings a distance away.

I, on the other hand, had aimed to dive under the train's wheels. When I'd done just that, the train could have easily ripped me to shreds. But it didn't. It couldn't because it wasn't real. It was all a product of my subconscious. If I died, it too would die. But Kairi... Kairi was free game.

Running alongside the train, I let out a few stray curse words as I tried to figure out what to do. Even in fantasy, trains weren't meant to run on the ground. If Kairi fell off the carts she'd undoubtedly die. It was made worse by the fact that she was running atop the roofs. That she was fighting someone.

I tried a number of spells to make the train stop or disappear, but it was useless. There was only one more thing I could do. Using a Magnet spell, I allowed myself to be thrown at the train. Using my Keyblades as pegs, I too climbed onto the roof of the train. Jumping into the air, I tried to use my glide ability. It didn't work and the wind nearly sent me hurtling into a nearby spruce. I probably would have fallen off the last cart altogether if someone hadn't saved me. That someone was not Kairi.

It had not been an intended rescue. I was grabbed by the arm and thrown back onto the roof with surprising strength. My assailant was quite small. Against the flapping wind and white cloak, I could make out a feminine physique. Someone small like Naminé. "Who are you?" I demanded, but if I was heard, I had no idea. The strong breeze probably made my voice indiscernible. Pulling out her own Oathkeeper, the girl aimed to stab my jugular, but I could tell close range combat was not her forte. Drawing on that, I kicked the back of her elbow and her Keyblade went sailing away.

This was a good thing and a bad thing. On one hand, I was no longer trapped. Hopping to my feet, I was quick to swing my own Oathkeeper under her feet. However, when I knocked her down, she seemed to recall what had just happened with me. She remembered her true strength.

The fire made impact with my chest before I could even react. Never had I felt magic this powerful. Never had there been such Light infused in the action. Every Light had a signature, and this one was Kairi's. Perhaps realizing what I had, the girl pulled her hood back to show black tresses and deep blue eyes. She looked exactly like Kairi and Naminé. I suddenly knew exactly who the girl was. "Xion." I said a bit breathlessly. Memories of her murder, of my murdering her, played in my mind. I'd never felt sicker.

Shouting so loud that her voice became hoarse, Xion willed me to know one thing. "I'm just a memory of her. You couldn't be brought here unless there were fakes like me. Sora, we're parts of your subconscious. We're the only ones keeping your Darkness at bay. You have a manifestation of Light and Darkness within you now. Sora, this Journal is corrupted. It shouldn't be possible. That means you must be close to corruption. You have to-"

I would never know what she'd intended me to do. As my body moved of its own will, I could only watch in horror as I lunged Oblivion through Xion's heart. She seemed oddly at peace as the wind carried her away as a streak of Light.

There was, however, someone that wasn't at peace. Hurtling into me so we'd both fall from the train, a boy instantly began beating me with his Oblivion Keyblade. I had a fair idea of who it was. I had killed him too. "Roxas." I said as I kneed him in the groin, but only to roll over and puke on the side of the road. The scenery was beginning to fall back into control, and I had to wonder if Xion and Roxas had been responsible for the train.

They were (apparently) manifestations of my subconscious, after all. They were trying to warn me of something.

At least they had been. Now Roxas—and his lowered hood showed that it _was_ him— only seemed consumed with revenge. His Keyblade not being personal enough, Roxas pulled me up by my own hood as he began to pound my skull in with his fists. "That's the second time I've watched you kill her. But it'll be the last. I'll send you to a Hell that even Kairi can't save you from."

_Kairi? Kairi. Kairi! _Where _was_ my little Kairi? I'd seen her go to chase the boy... the boy!

"Where is she, Roxas?" I could feel the Darkness creeping up my soul, but I was powerless to stop it. It was as inevitable as the sun rising.

Roxas let out a gasp as my eyes began to turn gold. As the Darkness consumed me. "She should have known this mission was impossible." Roxas mumbled hopelessly. Soon his tone wouldn't be the only thing without hope.

Shooting out tendrils of Darkness, I was quick to engulf Roxas in them and to raise him into the air. As Roxas was being suffocated, I felt as though air was returning to my own lungs. I could easily ignore how I seemed to be suffocating my own Light. "I'd be careful using such a relative term. I could easily think you're talking about Kairi. And you should know that she is _my_ play thing. So tell me Roxas, have you been playing with what's mine? Should I make this death worse for you?"

Despite myself, I couldn't help but look into Roxas' eyes. Eyes that looked so much like my own. For one moment, I was myself again. That one moment was all that Roxas needed. "Sora, you'll kill Kairi."

As the life drained out of Roxas, I felt my own life leave me.

_It was snowing on the island. A rare occurrence, and Kairi had wanted me to enjoy the new memory with her. I was simply unable to. Tears fell in rivulets down my cheek as I looked at the icy ocean. Why had I been so stupid? Why had I tried to make my gold fish swim in the frozen water? Now he was... now he was dead._

_Kairi held me in her arms as she stroked my untamable hair. "It's okay, Sora. You didn't know any better. You just wanted Sparky to know the blessing that this coldness is."_

_I stood up from my perch on the docks and I could only wish that I was strong enough to leave the warmness she exerted. But I held onto her for more than balance against the icy surface. "I'm so stupid, Kai! I've read stories about coldness killing people. I should have known it'd be cold enough for that. I should have known... I should have known. I can only destroy things!"_

_As Kairi held my face in her hands, I knew that her touch was much too adult for our age. Her ability to comfort was vastly mature, too. "Your fish is just fine, Sora. In the old days, baptisms were held in cold creeks. Maybe you just wanted to share your fish with God. Maybe you wanted him to be reborn. Sora, from this, from this coldness, we'll be reborn, too."_

I walked to where I'd last seen Kairi at a sluggish pace. My mind, my heart (what was left of it), and my Light and Darkness were playing tug-a-war. I'd never been this exhausted in all my life. I knew that if I weren't walking to find Kairi, I never would have been able to put one foot in front of the other.

When I saw her ahead of me, unscathed for the most part, I was unable to stand any longer. I crumpled into the newly fallen snow and literally had to crawl over to her. "Kairi." I got out barely as a whisper. "I'm so glad you're alright. I was worried and-" And I was incapable of anymore speech. Instead, I encircled my arms around her waist and leaned my head against her hip. I willed my body to say all I needed to.

She seemed to opt for the same thing. She mumbled something that sounded a lot like, "Leave me." And I could only look at her curiously.

"Kairi," I said against shattering teeth, "it's alright. Our attackers are gone." It was physically painful to move to my feet, but I did it. Putting my hands on her shoulders, I tried to peer into her lowered face.

"Let go of me."

Though she'd spoken up, I must have heard her wrong. Lifting her chin up, I was horror struck to see tears frozen on her face. "Kai, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" It wasn't even a question that I check her for injury. That was why what happened next truly set me off guard.

"Damn it, get away from me!" Bringing Destiny's Embrace down in a wide arc, she nearly decapitated my head. Barely recovering from that, I lost my footing on the treacherous snow, and had Kairi's Keyblade slice down my chest as a punishment. Wasting no time, I jumped to my feet in time to parry a hit from Kingdom Key.

"What the hell are you doing?" Darkness seemed to be oozing from the cut she made and I felt myself wanting to put her in her place. I wanted to burry her in the Darkness and blood that was falling to the ground. _Yes, make the snow a good memory for once, _my Darkness urged me. _Kill the witch once and for all._

I tried to close my eyes to her weaknesses, but it was no use. Aiming for her arms, I nicked her shoulder rather sharply. I then went for her head like she had mine. With her shoulder injured, she was unable to react to my surprise attack. The head maneuver had been a trick and I was quick to attack her unprotected chest. She crumpled to the ground soon after, but it wasn't enough for me. Using my own frilly Oathkeeper, I meant to stab through her hands. But the memory of Xion and Roxas stopped me.

_Sora, you'll kill Kairi_. My Light side let out inhuman screams at the memory of Roxas' words. Then everything went black.

…

Riku, of all people, laughed when I bolted from my cot so fast that the bed went flying into the wall behind me. I looked around the room curiously as a memory tugged at the back of my mind. The room was gray, but in a shade much different from Riku's hair color. There were red splotches of color in odd areas, but that wasn't the oddest thing. No, the oddest thing was that this was an infirmary.

I searched for Kairi's lucky charm in my pocket, but my hand came out empty. Suddenly, I realized what it was that had woken me up. I could no longer hear Oathkeeper's voice. Where was Kairi's lucky charm? Turning to Riku, I was surprised to see a non-malicious smirk on his face. I was surprised he hadn't tried to restrain me yet. What exactly had happened? I remembered be in a digitalized version of Jiminy's Journal. I had been there with Kairi.

Kairi.

I stumbled back into the wall, and had the misfortune of knocking medical supplies to the floor. I couldn't spare remorse at having probably broken them. No, my mind was remorseful for something else. "Kairi attacked me?" I hadn't intended to form it as a question, but it had come out like one anyway. I couldn't really wrap my mind around what had happened. Of course I deserved whatever Kairi had done to me. Of course I was impressed with her skill.

Riku didn't answer. He opted to sit on the bed that had somehow harmed the wall and not itself. Honestly, the chair beside the bed didn't look very comfortable. It was plastic and lavender. My mind screamed that the stupid furniture should have been for show rather than a hospital room. I would have insulted it if I hadn't been in such a haze. Instead I sat down in it and stared at nothing. I could see Riku out of the corner of my eyes and I hoped it'd be enough to get him to talk. Finally, when he did talk, it wasn't about what had happened. "It was after Kairi broken her leg, and was in a similarly looking room, that you first called me the 'White-Haired-Wonder'. You thought the walls—a gray somewhat like my hair color and auburn like Kairi's hair—were hinting that we were meant to be. You let your jealousy get the best of you, but that was the first and only time."

As much as I wanted to combat Riku's words, I couldn't find it in me to do so. Though he was either lying, or had had his own memories messed with, I knew one thing for certain: Riku had truly been my best friend. The weight that now held on me was more than I could have expected. I mourned the loss of that friendship more than anything. If Riku was seeking closure, who was I to deny him? "Sora," Riku spoke unemotionally; he spoke unaware of my epiphany, "I've always let my own jealousy get the best of me. I blamed you for all you've done, but I'm less myself than you are. If I were in your shoes, I would have done a lot worse. I know that. I've wanted you dead for a while now, but I know that's just me being weak. You don't have to forgive me. But I beg you to forgive Kairi. If it weren't for her, things would be a lot worse than they are. Don't fault her for her one mistake. She's believed in you this entire time. Don't-"

"Where is she?" I said mostly to cut off his word vomit. Though he needn't worry about my wanting to kill Kairi, I was impressed that he wasn't ordering me around. He'd learned to not provoke my ire. Riku looked at me with fear in his eyes, but it wasn't for his own safety. I could understand why he'd be wary of telling me. I could understand why he'd want to know my reasoning. But I couldn't give him neither. I had a new plan, and I needed to follow through on it. However, I would not let Riku dampen what would be a perfect moment.

I knew a being such as myself deserved nothing more than imperfection. I begged anyway. "Riku, please tell me. I won't do anything. I-"

He must have seen the sincerity in my eyes. Wordlessly, he handed me a set of keys. One of them had a room number on it, and I knew that it had to be for where Kairi was staying. He clapped me on the shoulder and gave me a meaningful look. I could almost believe I'd imagined his next words. "I'm sorry it had to come to this. I'll keep them safe." As I walked out of the room, Riku dutifully picked up what I'd knocked over.

The hall I ended up in was quite long. A red carpet ran the full length of the floor, and I couldn't help but think about the irony again. Yes, the red would definitely lead me to my redhead. It was also fitting that Kairi's room happened to be the one right beside mine. Though there'd been a lot of space separating the rooms, there was no denying that fate was staring me in the face. I would give it what it desired so long as my girls were kept safe.

Stepping into Kairi's room, I had to hold back a smile at how blue it was. Blue was my favorite character and my bedroom on the island had been a tribute to that. The rooms we were given were as tangled as our lives had become. Drawings littered the walls in this room; if the drawings didn't have such realism, I would have guessed that Nami had been the artist. This room was quite different than the one I had been in. In fact, it seemed more like a bedroom than anything else. This was exactly why I was going to do what needed to be done. Kairi deserved to sleep without even the possibilities of nightmares.

She wasn't awake now. But I imagined that she had to be in a coma of sorts. Wires were hooked up to her in many places and I couldn't help but note what a failure I was. This was so reminiscent of the night I'd been sent to kill Kairi. I'd meant to let her live, but my mere existence put her in jeopardy. I kept her from living the life she was meant to. Soon my interference would end, but I could afford to be a bit more selfish.

Crossing over to Kairi's side, I hesitated before putting my hand to her forehead. I wanted to smooth her worry away, but in turn it only made me worry more. Her heart rate picked up considerably. It scared me that something I admired so much could easily lead to her downfall. And I couldn't fight the knowledge that she did in fact have a heart. In that moment, I could almost pretend that I had obtained one, too. Stroking my hands through her hair, I tried to imagine what she'd say or do if she could see me now. What would her eyes show in them?

With as much time as I'd spent with Kairi, you'd think I would have known everything about her. But I didn't have the faintest clue about how she'd react now. Maybe it was better that she was unconscious for this. She probably would have had a heart attack if she saw the change in my demeanor, anyway. The thought almost put a smile on my face. Almost.

Only when Kairi wasn't able to chew me out, or reprimand me—or impress me through all of that—did I have the strength to do what I should have all along. "Kairi," I said whilst tears raced to my nose, "I'm sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen to you. You've allowed me to see that I have goodness in me, but for once it's not going to triumph over evil. You complained about me only aiming to protect Naminé, but now I'm going to do something good with that. Okay, maybe I'm lying to myself. I know you wouldn't approve of this. But you didn't approve of Riku killing me. That was the best plan all along.

"I'm going to kill Marluxia. But there's a chance I might die in the process. Actually, if I can't defeat him, I might just kill myself. I know that you're right and that he only wants me. If I do that, since you and Nami are free, you'll both be safe. However, my lust for vengeance far outweighs everything else. I'm going to break my promise, Kairi, and I'm so, _so_ sorry. But it's the only way. Just know that it was always you that was my Light.

"Should I fail and Marluxia controls my Darkness—what I'll surely become—you have to kill me Kairi. You're the only one I'd want to do it, and you _can_ do it. When all of this is over, you won't have to hide in bunkers anymore. Your flag will be free to fly. Goodbye, Kairi. Forgive my final act of selfishness."

I kissed her on the lips and I knew would be the final time. In my head, I could believe that she had somehow kissed me back. That she had somehow heard everything. As I darted from the room, I noticed Kairi had been clutching her lucky charm the entire time. Everything was as it should have been. As I opened a Corridor of Darkness, the last traces of "Sora" disappeared as much as the Corridor did.

With one final intake of breath, one truth was made clear to me. Then I knew absolutely nothing.

**Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I spent the entire month writing a script. Now that it's done, I should be able to update regularly again.**

**I know I took some liberties with the Datascape, but I imagine it would be alterable with the real Sora—which the Datascape is based off of—there.**

**Was anyone surprised by Roxas and Xion being there? They are in fact dead, but that doesn't mean they aren't part of Sora still. Similar to how a Data Sora couldn't be created without a Data Roxas, even though Roxas and Xion are dead, the Journal would create a Data version of them.**

**I mainly had them wearing white cloaks to throw you guys off. But their cloaks are also white because, A) They're trying to protect Sora's Light, and B) They're pretty much ghosts.**

**Huh. I just realized how much the dance scene reminds me of Soul and Maka in **_**Soul Eater**_**. And Sora's daydream in Halloween Town, of course. Maybe we'll see Sora and Kairi dance in KH3.**

**Anyway, please review. And rest assured that everything will be explained in time. **


	8. Pyre

**Pyre**

It's funny how things like the birds chirping can seem so mundane when you hear them everyday. Now, as I had nearly encased myself in Darkness, the birds were silent.

They were afraid of me.

For a short moment, I entertained the idea of what Kairi would say. It'd undoubtedly be poetic. It would also make me question everything I thought I knew about myself.

"Sora," she would say in the serene, quiet voice that could only work for her. "Sora, the animals aren't afraid of you. They see your Darkness as a greatness that they can't live up to. They cower away from you because there's no room in them to understand. The answer is to coexist. Since they remain ignorant of Darkness, you have to find the Light. It's the only way you'll physically feel anything."

Physically feeling, huh? I hadn't even pondered that. Perhaps it was the best way to explain my actions around Kairi. My damaged heart couldn't feel emotions, but it could feel touch well enough. Somehow, when I was around Kairi, physicality seemed to compensate for the rest. It was, after all, us touching that usually prompted the random flashes.

Random flashes...

My feet skidded to a stop; I hurtled to my stomach as my shoes gave way in the slush. I face planted into a huge heap of snow. And somehow the physicality chased away the Dark tendrils. Thoughts of Kairi had been my Light in an unrelenting blizzard. Hefting myself to my feet again, I scrubbed the snow from my face and body as best I could, but it only served to sicken me. Snow always made everything go wrong where I was concerned. Who was to say this time would be any different?

And Naminé... what was she but a snow angel? Regardless, she would always be my first priority. Even though Kairi, and the fake memories she gave me, were so important to me. Even though the memories were more real than I myself seemed to be.

Since when had I thought of myself as real? Anything was truer than my existence. Perhaps I was making something out of nothing. Perhaps Kairi should have meant nothing to me. For a moment, I tried to return to the Darkness I'd been in prior. If Kairi meant nothing to me, why did feeling nothing seem so daunting? _If I don't know anything, how will I know Kairi?_

I squeezed my eyes shut against the painful thought; against the unforgiving sun. I needed to think of someone who was forgiving. Someone who'd looked past all the awful things I'd done. Someone who'd never held me accountable. _Naminé_, I tried to once again use the channel Naminé had opened up in contacting me in the cavern. _Nami_, _are you still in this Land of Dragons? Or did Marluxia relocate you again_?

As I traversed carefully through the snowy peaks, I knew it'd be awhile before my girl responded. I could only hope that, for once, I wouldn't mess everything up. I came across a twisting path and was quick to move away from the ledge before I could fall with it. Rocks, ice, and dirt all seemed to erode away when I pressed on the ground to hardly.

I had to wonder how Kairi was able to wear her stilettos without walking as heavily as an elephant. For whatever reason, I decided to look at how far of a drop it was from the ground. It had to be more than five thousand feet. Though I knew that Kairi would never be careless enough to fall from these heights, I imagined her falling anyway.

For once, the idea of her death did not bring me pleasure. It would be unforgivable if she died so prematurely. It was selfish, but I wanted to know more about her before the multiverse decided to take her away.

**And yet you'll never get those answers because you're going to die on this mission. It's suicide. And you're only doing this for Kairi**.

To say that I almost fell from the cliff would be an understatement. The inclusion of my conscience jolted me so much that I might as well have jumped from the cliff. How in the world had I come to think like my conscience? Had Kairi weakened my defenses so much that I didn't have a lid on it anymore? I found that hard to believe. If anything, Kairi seemed to make me stronger. All sides of Kairi.

When Naminé's voice popped up in my head, I couldn't have been happier. _Sora_, Naminé said with a tone in her voice I'd never heard before, _Marluxia can't control me anymore. I've been free ever since you left that resistance meeting. I didn't think he'd find me here, but now he has. I'm so sorry_.

She wasn't nearly as sorry as I was. In some cruel twist of fate, Marluxia had shown up as soon as I'd heard from Nami. Pulling me from the ledge I was seriously thinking of bashing my head against, he pulled me back to the mountain. It shouldn't have surprised me at all that I fell into another huge pile of snow. Today was going so terrifically!

Summoning Oblivion and Kingdom Key, I was quick to try and get on the offensive. I wasn't familiar with this world or this terrain. A rough patch of ice could be the end of me if I wasn't careful. I had to kill him for Kairi and Naminé, but I also wanted to kill him for myself. I now knew what Naminé had said that day, the day that had been the start of everything, was true. I _had_ accomplished great things, but Marluxia had ruined it all.

He had ruined me.

As Marluxia brought forth his scythe, I was reminded of how I'd nearly had my dream come true just days prior. But was a dream all it really was? By all measures, I should have been attacking by now. But there was no point in exerting myself if it'd be for naught. "Have you actually graced me with your presence or are you still hiding behind Vexen's clones?"

I dug my feet into the Earth beneath the snow and tried to concentrate. I needed to be ready for anything. I needed to be ready to, somehow, control my Darkness if needed. Marluxia once again had a bored air about him. I was reminded of when he'd actually pretended to care about me in the beginning; I remembered when we'd played chess. Behind his calm exterior there was always a more aggressive strategy. I needed to hold my ground until he revealed it. "I don't think a traitor is worthy of seeing me, but you can rest easy knowing that it is the real me. I'm not here to fight, Sora. I have a proposition for you."

There it was. It'd been perfectly executed, too. Not only was it completely unexpected, but it provoked me much more than a blow to my side would have. Grounding my teeth in frustration, I sent a firaga spell at his own side, as I teleported to him and began assaulting him with attacks. Each word was punctuated with a strike of my Keyblade. "Traitor my ass. You took away my choice. You took away me! I'll never do anything you want."

Dodge rolling in a way similar to how I might, Marluxia rolled to the edge of the cliff (the one I'd just been hanging on) and smirked. He cast a quick cure spell, and all of what I'd just accomplished disappeared. Badly channeled rage or not, I'd landed some strong hits. But would I be able to again? That ledge was truly treacherous. It was as if the entire mountainside had been turned to ice through Vexen's power or something. "I didn't take your choice away, Sora. Naminé did. But I know you'll never give up saving her. So I propose you just give me what I want. Nami is hiding in these cliffs, after all. Do you really want to put her in the way of crossfire?"

"You can't hurt her anymore." I could only pray beyond hope that Naminé's words had been correct. I'd come too far to come back now. If in the long run I could save her and Kairi...

"But I can easily, and happily destroy your newest obsession. Despite how secretive a man is, not even he can keep quiet about a Princess' whereabouts. I'll find her, and I'll rip her limb from limb."

"You're lying!" My voice was a lot steadier than I felt. The world was swirling around me and my mind wanted to protect itself from the truth. The truth that Kairi was in a defenseless coma. The truth that Marluxia would undoubtedly find her. The truth that it might have been merciful if I would have killed her in her sleep, after all. _Kairi, I should have stayed away from you! I've only made his desire for your blood worse._

"Yes, that's it. Let the Darkness have you."

Despite everything: despite my problems, despite my duty to Naminé, despite Kairi... I was only Darkness. I always had known that I was. Now, now I would return to it. I'd keep the girls safe. Still... I felt tears welling up in me as I pondered one last thing. How had it come to this? ...

"No!" The voice is so sudden, so out of nowhere that I instantly somersault in the air. I prepare to launch my Keyblades at the new intruder, but I come up short.

Kairi.

My sorceress' red hair blows like its own flag. She looks like a phoenix having risen from the snow. In that moment, I realize that I have no need to fear the snow. Not when it brings about my fire.

Kairi's quick to rub her hands together; she tries to circulate warmth to her exposed parts. Copying her in a slightly different way, I try to find my own heart. If the Keyblade truly is its instrument, than Marluxia had been worshipping a false god the entire time. The setting sun promised a dawn. It's fitting that in that moment I realized we would win this.

Kairi placed Oathkeeper against my Oblivion. Turning to her as I felt the force of her hold, I found myself drowning in her eyes. Only for a moment.

She looked at me angrily, but her batting eyelashes told me she was really playing with me. Stripping her lucky charm from Oathkeeper, she tossed it to me. I had expected her barren Key take on Kingdom Key's shape, but it didn't. It was a Keyblade I was unfamiliar with. Until I clasped her lucky charm onto my Kingdom Key. Almost immediately, her unnamed Keyblade became Kingdom Key. My former Kingdom Key returned to Oathkeeper.

Even our Keyblades had become intertwined.

Kairi spared me no further look as her eyes hardened on Marluxia. The wind and flying snow only served to make her look fiercer. "I won't allow you to manipulate Sora anymore."

Marluxia was quick to try and stab Kairi in the heart as she was talking. Fortunately, I knew to never turn your back on a viper and easily parried the blow. Sparks flew in the air, and I felt the frailer grooves of Oathkeeper deepen at the sharpness of Marluxia's scythe. Marluxia, once again, returned to the ledge. He held his scythe behind him precariously. As if he hadn't just tried to attack us. "And what do you think he'll make of your manipulations? Your ploy was clever, but just as deceiving as Naminé. When he finds out your original plans for him, I won't need to provoke him to kill you."

The way Kairi's brows furrowed, the way her lips pulled back over her teeth, I should have known that she was at the end of her patience. Blindingly moving forward, she lunged for him. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going to happen: Kairi was going to throw Marluxia from the cliff, but the inertia would make her plummet, too.

As I grabbed a hold of her hood, I was oddly reminded of when I'd pulled her from the water in the secret waterway. Using too much of my strength, I threw her and Marluxia back onto the cliff, but I myself began to lose my footing. Moving in such a way that I was almost straddling the cliff side, I looked for any available foothold. And then it dawned on me how stupid I was being. "Graviga!" I bellowed, just as my balance left completely. I was led back onto the cliff, but I was too close to the edge. I was acutely aware that Kairi had been very close to the edge when I'd thrown her back. She would have helped me up with she were able, but her attention was otherwise occupied.

I watched in horror as Marluxia pinned Kairi to one of the cave walls. His scythe was mere inches away from her throat. I did the only thing I was able: "Magnega!" I called as I sprinted toward the duo. Marluxia's blade, thankfully, was drawn to mine rather than Kairi's. It didn't matter that the magnet spell had worn off. When I was close enough, he began hitting me with everything he had.

Our blades were an array of colors as we struck and blocked. As I chanced a look at Kairi, I could tell that she wanted to help, but we were moving too fast. I had seen Kairi's Light firsthand; Kairi would never attack if she thought I'd be in the way. The only problem was that I was getting tired. Blood trailed down my arms from exertion as much as actual hits. I did the only thing I could think of: I used the power of Darkness.

It served well to hold Marluxia in place, but it showed a parallel that I didn't want to face: I was a monster where as Kairi was an angel. I knew my Darkness would hurt Kairi. I knew it, but I did it anyway. I comforted myself with the knowledge that it would be over soon; I promised myself that Kairi would be fine.

As it was, it was exactly what Marluxia had been hoping for. Using my own created Darkness, the Darkness I was trapping him in, he pulled Kairi to his chest and held her there. She let out a pained scream, but if it was solely because of the Darkness, I didn't know. "Sora..." Kairi cried out hopelessly.

I tried to pull my Darkness back, but it was no use. Marluxia had summoned his own Darkness and they were too tangled. Even if I could somehow relinquish its hold, he could probably control it himself. My only option was to do nothing.

The only problem was that _he_ wasn't doing nothing. As the Darkness grew thicker and thicker, I feared that Kairi would suffocate.

Marluxia smirked. Perhaps he had somehow read my thoughts. "This isn't my Darkness, Sora. It's the Darkness you've kept a lid on. Now that it's loose, now that it has a precious Light to destroy, it won't relent. But if you give into its power completely, you'll be able to control it. Give me what I want Sora, and _you_ won't kill her."

There was so much wrong with his words that I foolishly wondered if we were still in the Datascape. This could not be reality. I couldn't accept that everything was so out of control. And it would remain that way. I knew my Darkness better than anyone. I knew, that even if I gained control, I would still kill her. That was the way Darkness was. It stamped out the nescience that Light was. I could only pray that if I gave in completely, I could shut what I was feeling off. That I could separate myself from what I was doing. I barely even knew I was speaking until I saw the resigned look on her face. "I can't live knowing I'm the one responsible for your death, Kairi."

It had been this fear that had prompted me to leave her just hours prior. What Roxas said—what I had always known—was coming true. "I'm so sorry, Kairi. I have to break my promise. I have to let go of the Light." It was quite similar to what I'd said before departing. This time, she had heard me.

Her face, as well as her entire body, was nearly engulfed in Darkness. I knew it had to be unfathomable torture for her. At once, I knew what I had to do. Turning to Marluxia, I looked at him with more hatred than Sampson had had for Delilah in her betrayal. "You have to promise me that you will keep her safe from me. Never let me see her again. In fact, don't even let me know she exists." I could only hope my other personality would remain ignorant of her existence.

Just like that, something awakened in Kairi. She squirmed, screamed, cried. She tried to channel her Light, but I knew she was only making it worse for herself. As selfish as it was, I couldn't watch anymore. "_Promise me_!" I demanded of Marluxia.

His simple nod was the only answer I would get. Kairi was the one making a spectacle of herself. "Don't take him away, Vanitas! Please. I love him!"

Those words were all it took for my subconscious to momentarily become my conscious. For a short second, I wasn't in this icy tundra, but another one. I was in the Datascape. When Kairi had begun attacking me, she'd been mouthing something. I had been only mindful of her attacks at the time, but I had still heard. Now all the pieces fell into place.

"Ventus has taken up your Light," she'd said, "but Vanitas embodies your Darkness. You're mostly Darkness now." Like the sun shining for the first time on a desolate wasteland, I understood why Kairi had attacked me. But she hadn't been attacking me, had she? She thought I was this Vanitas character. She'd meant to destroy him!

Drawing on this new truth, I was pulled back to the present. Kairi stared at me questioningly rather than horror stricken. Marluxia had lost. I could see it as clear as day on his face. Now that I knew the truth, he knew he'd never be able to manipulate me. I saw it, but so did someone else.

Before I could begin hanging his failure over his head, someone else _jumped_ up over his head. Before I could so much as blink, a Keyblade was brought down on Marluxia's head. His head—thankfully—was not sliced in half. It marred a deep gash, and as he fell over, it was evident he was dead. Kairi too staggered forward (Marluxia's Darkness that _had_ helped hold her prisoner was now gone). Perhaps not thinking about my Darkness had made it disappear. No matter how the chokehold had ebbed, I realized she was not truly safe. Darting forward, I pulled Kairi into my arms and almost threw us both over the cliff. Anything was better than having Kairi near Xemnas.

Kairi squirmed against my arms. She kicked, punched, bit, but I was too numb to notice. I didn't realize that her fury was for Xemnas. Growling so loud that I felt it reverberate against my chest, Kairi tried in vain to get to Xemnas. "Let me go, Sora! I'll kill him. I swear I will. It was his research that caused all of this! It doesn't even make sense that he's alive!"

Xemnas—who had been too busy admiring his kill—finally turned and faced the fuming redhead. Holding on to her stomach tightly, I'd finally been able to calm her down somewhat. We both fell to the unforgiving snow. I wondered if Kairi had really submitted, or if she was just too tired to fight anymore. Xemnas, however, seemed to still see a fire in her. "You're not as docile as I'd expect from a Princess of Heart. I guess Aqua really did play a factor on your development. I most definitely will keep you around. I won't have another failed experiment."

"You son of a-"

"Kairi!" I pulled on her elbows as she moved to get up, but I was more forceful than I would have liked. My main purpose was supposed to be protecting her. How in the world did hurting her (even accidentally) serve any purpose? I would be damned if I let Kairi face Xemnas. Ghost or not, I remembered how hard a fight he could put up. Marluxia wouldn't have held a candle to him if he hadn't acquired me. If anyone was going to fight Xemnas, it was going to be me. "How are you back, anyway?" I asked mainly out of anger, it's true. But I was also looking for weak spots in his armor. I would have stood and entered my battle stance, but I didn't want to provoke him or Kairi. I didn't like how helpless I felt.

"Sora here is the one to thank. Having freed my heart and body, I was able to return to my original state; I am now Xehanort. It was also him thinking about me in the Digitalized Journal that allowed me to find you. And what a find it is. Sora is nearly ready to fulfill his purpose. And something I started fourteen years ago will finally be realized."

In all fairness, I probably shouldn't have attacked "Xehanort" the way I did. Sure I was tired of all the secrets, but Kairi and Naminé were the ones responsible for that (not that I'd hurt them). My rage made me sloppy, and Xehanort had me pinned with a Keyblade to my neck sooner than I would have liked. I also didn't like how my anger made me so close to the Darkness. If I were to survive this, and if I ever wanted to be around Kairi, I needed to have better control.

"Sora!" Kairi screamed in equal parts desperation, astonishment, and (I suppose) love. I still wasn't sure what that last emotion entailed. She was running now. And I imagined she'd try to get Xehanort's head between her Keyblades in just a few moments. She was being as reckless as I had been.

"Stopga!" I was just able to turn and face Kairi as I said this. Turning to face _Xehanort_, I willed my head to stop spinning. "I can't follow your plan if I don't know what it is. So tell me the truth _now_. What don't I know? What do you want from me?"

Though the stop spell had indeed worn off, Kairi suddenly stood stock-still. The wind and snow continued to play with her hair and eyes. For a moment, I imagined she resembled the mermaid that would have turned to sea foam. "Kairi? Kairi. Kairi. Open your eyes." If she didn't, if she continued to look that way, how could I ever imagine she wasn't my enemy?

"Yes, Kairi." Xehanort played off my concern the way a concert pianist might play the piano. "I'm sure we're both dying to know these truths. So go ahead and shatter his heart more. Do you really think he'll recognize himself or you when you're done?"

Kairi shook her head brokenly. A loan tear fell from her eye and for a moment, it seemed so _familiar_. It seemed to take only a minute for her tear to freeze and fall. It broke on the ground instantly. It embedded the snow with tiny little crystals.

Those crystals might as well have represented the splinters in my eyes. Kairi's eyes told me the truth before she spoke them, "It was fake."

The air was sucked out from around me, and I prepared to defend Naminé's honor. I prepared to silence Kairi.

**Author's Note: I know that it's somewhat short, but I thought it best to split up this section. Otherwise the chapter would have become **_**really**_** long.**

**And be excited, guys. Next chapter things will finally be explained! Hopefully after next chapter, if everything goes as planned, you won't have any more questions. Oh! And Sora will finally learn the truth. I'll explain more of what happened this chapter then, too.**

**But… the reason Xehanort found them was because Xehanort contacted Sora in the System Sector. When Sora thought of him, Xehanort was able to track his location. Kind of like how the good fairies brought Maleficent back by thinking about her. **

**Well, I hope you liked this chapter. I really don't like writing battle scenes. Mainly because I aim to make them realistic, and it's hard to balance a conversation amongst them. I also try to keep the mechanics similar to the game. It isn't always easy. Seriously, why didn't Cloud use a Phoenix Down on Zack? Epic fail. Kidding. Kidding. **

**Wow. I referenced three things in this. Sampson and Delilah from the **_**Bible**_**, the original **_**Little Mermaid**_**, and **_**The Snow Queen**_**. **_**The Snow Queen**_** really suits this story! I recommend checking out the Wiki for it if you're unfamiliar with it. It's by Hans Christian Anderson. "The splinter in my eyes" was the reference to that. **

**"I remembered when we'd played chess. Behind his calm exterior there was always a more aggressive strategy." Haha. This was inspired by Quorra in _Tron Legacy_.**

**Yay for being able to incorporate more KH quotes!**

**So, I've realized that I don't usually explain how people find each other. Mainly because I think it isn't needed, and you guys can probably figure out how they found each other, but should I explain it more? Or do you enjoy imagining that aspect for yourself?**

**And I owe you all a huge apology. I am so sorry that I don't reply to your reviews. Each and every one means the world to me; this story wouldn't be what it is without you guys. From now on, I'll reply to every review I receive. Thank you all so much!**

**-Shanna**


	9. Torch

**Torch**

"It was fake." The sun peaked out just above the horizon. The sky was painted hues of pinks and yellows. As the red light hit Kairi's face, I could almost believe her the devil I thought her to be. Didn't cartoons often draw their Satan red colored and upset? Her beauty, much like Lucifer, was quite tangible. She looked every bit the seductress, but she looked more broken than Naminé. The snow and wind continued to play at her features, and surrounded by the white mist, she looked very much like my angel. But was Naminé every bit as phony as Kairi's temporary appearance was?

I wasn't paying as much attention to Kairi as I should have been. Through the shards of ice that surrounded us, I had a hard time picking out Xehanort's figure. His hair blended with the flurries perfectly, and his pale skin wasn't an issue, either. I knew that he expected me to listen to Kairi. The moment when I was most distracted, he would strike and begin whatever he—and Marluxia before him—had been planning.

Still, through all of this, I still clutched my Keyblade angrily. I looked at Kairi's now shrunken form sharply, and I prepared to strike her for whatever she'd say. I knew, of course, that whatever Kairi would say would be the end of my life as I knew it. I would have liked to believe that it was my need of faith that made me so unable to acknowledge the truth. But it could have been my Darkness for all I knew. Had Vanitas been playing puppet master with me all along? Did he want me to revel in the lie?

"It was fake." Kairi mumbled again. If I hadn't been hanging so intently on her and her actions, I might have offered to help her up where she'd fallen. As it was, I could only watch as she stood up on her numb ankles and almost got carried away by the strong draft. Kairi dug her stilettos into the mountain, and it seemed that she had found her anchor as well as her resolve. Meeting me with the most expressive eyes I'd ever known (what a relief it was to see her having her guard down again), she looked as though she wanted to run into my arms. My arms themselves seemed to ache only for her, but neither of us reacted the way we wanted to.

It was just as well. With the emotions swirling in the air, one of us would have ended up with blood on our hands. Finally, she began recanting what I'd been wanting, and dreading, to hear. "It was all fake. You never promised Naminé anything. Her being with you on the islands—that was a lie, just like everything else. You never met. She was never your friend."

"And she was never anything more—either..." The words left my mouth almost of their own accord. I clamped my mouth shut immediately at its betrayal. I had been wrong to think only my Darkness had reveled in the lie. My entire life had been built around what I'd believed about Naminé. Now that I was forced to hear what I was suspecting all along, now that what I was remembering and had been told made sense, I didn't know what to do with that information. I needed someone to blame. And unfortunately for Kairi, she was too good a person. She was easy to walk over.

She must have noticed the change in my posture; almost immediately, she called Destiny's Embrace and Kingdom Key to her side. I could only stare at her Keyblades in shock. Never had she moved to fight me before. In that moment, I couldn't deny the truth. I had misjudged Kairi. She had changed so much since I'd met her... only someone with a heart had that kind of capability. "Naminé's _your_ Nobody, isn't she?" Once again, the words left me before I had time to really think them over. It was as if my lips were moving to tell me the truth before my mind could stop them. It wasn't hard to believe, actually. My muscles remembered moves and spells that my mind didn't consciously. Of course my body had remembered all what Kairi meant to me. From the moment I had been sent to find her, my body had turned traitor. I'd known how to scale the side of her house, I'd realized the feel of Naminé in my memories wasn't true; I'd been ignited by her touch, my body had tried to compensate what my mind hadn't been able to.

Kairi placed a tentative hand on my shoulder and I was instantly brought back to the present. How had I not noticed what my body was trying to tell me all along? It was always so alive when she was near. My heart seemed to beat against my chest; it served as a testament to all we'd lost. "It's not Naminé's fault, Sora. I realize that now. She was ordered to rewrite your memory, to destroy your heart, she had been in no place to deny that order."

No she hadn't. But _I_ had. As a memory tugged at my consciousness, I was hit with an awful truth.

_I_ had told Naminé to follow her orders. Everything that had happened had transpired because of my bad judgment. And now... now I had crossed a line I could never come back from.

"Sora!" Kairi called in desperation. Though I aimed to reply to her, I couldn't do anything more than feel the cold chill of the snow against my skin. I had fallen over. Though it was my body that had gone completely numb, I could almost imagine it was what was left of my heart.

Xehanort, who I had almost forgotten was with us, gave a snort, as he looked down on Kairi and me. "All of her actions will be for naught if you lose yourself again, Sora. And you can be certain that I'll kill her if you both become useless to me."

Though concern for Kairi was certainly enough to prompt me into some sort of action, it was Xehanort's words that really woke me. There was something in what he'd said...

I jolted upright the moment the new truth hit me. Kairi shrieked and looked at me warily. Xehanort, however, had a worrying smirk on his face. For the moment, I was too lost in my own mind to care. "You're the one that pieced the remnants of my heart together, weren't you?" Though Kairi's eyes aimed to hide the truth from me, I knew her too well to be swayed.

Though Naminé had said it'd been her that had helped me, it shouldn't have surprised me if it wasn't. I'd been so lost before. Though I couldn't remember it, I'd been lost in the Darkness. I'd be willing to venture that it was in that time that I had slaughtered all of the people I had. It had been that time that I'd enjoyed torturing people, that I'd thought killing was an art form.

Kairi, as she looked down at her shoes, seemed as regretful as I was. "Naminé helped, too." I pulled Kairi's face up by her chin and forced her to see the lack of judgment in my eyes. I knew that this time must have been when Marluxia had kidnapped and tortured her. The time she'd chosen to let me die. "I regret that day more than anything, Sora," she finally continued. "It was a short time after Naminé had destroyed you the way she did. People were forgetting you, but because of our strong bond, I still had all of the memories. Normally Naminé's tampering with your memories would have made everyone forget you, but she and Marluxia found a way to share my memories with everyone so they'd keep them. I think it had to do with my Princess of Heart powers.

"Anyway, they knew that if I did this, you would be slightly healed, too. But you had killed so many people, Sora! I thought that if I helped you, it'd make it worse. You were so unbalanced that your body was just moments away from fading away, and I would have let you die if they hadn't forced me to comply! Some sort of Light I am! I would have sacrificed you for the world's safety!"

And then Kairi was sobbing. I pulled her into my arms immediately as we both, once again, fell to the ground. I knew she was angry with herself. I knew she hated herself, actually. But I couldn't understand why. If I had been in her shoes, I would have - no. I would have never done the same thing, would I? My mind was too fucked up. I cared too much, didn't I? That was how I'd gotten into this mess, but now look at me. Kairi had no reason to be upset. I was the real monster here. If only she would have stopped my tirade. "I just don't understand why they'd do all of this." I whispered against her hair. I took in her scent of strawberry as if it was the last time I'd ever be with her.

Maybe it was. Xehanort pulled me off of Kairi and I rolled too easily to her side. The ice truly was terrible. He drove his Keyblade between us, and it very nearly went through Kairi's arm. If he had injured her, I would have annihilated him. As of now, I could only growl. Xehanort, once again, smirked evilly. "Now there's my good experiment."

"What are you talking about?" Jumping to my feet, I drew Oathkeeper and Oblivion and pointed them at his neck. When he aimed his own Keyblade at the hysteric Kairi, I let mine dematerialize instantly.

"You want answers, boy? Then listen up," Xehanort said way too calmly for my taste. "You have the remnants of my first failed experiment inside of you. Ventus—the Light side of one heart—and Vanitas—the Dark side of one heart. Now that their body has been destroyed, they are a permanent part of you. Ventus has merged with your Light, but Vanitas has taken over your Darkness. Didn't you notice before that you have split personalities?"

That was the thing, even though I knew the truth now, Naminé's handiwork was still all that my memories showed. Sure, I had unlocked some of the memories somehow, but that didn't mean-

My sudden intake of breath is all that can be heard for a moment. Even the ever persistent wind, snow, and animals are silent. I _had_ unlocked the memories of my split personality, hadn't I? People dying when they came over to my house… that had been in my head, hadn't it? Killing my goldfish in the icy ocean, that had been Vanitas' doing. All along I'd had split personalities, hadn't I? But now...

"You yourself have nearly become the X-Blade that I have longed for. All that remains is for your Light and Darkness to join together. There needs to be a perfect balance. And then, Kingdom Hearts will be mine! Marluxia may have failed, but I know better than he does."

Though I had taken in a breath, I hadn't let it out. Still, I somehow was able to say what was on my mind. Perhaps I sent it out telepathically. "All of this _has_ been about the X-Blade, hasn't it?" Sure Marluxia had had me collecting hearts as a backup and he'd had me fight the resistance, but the X-Blade had been everyone's priority all along. "After Naminé destroyed my heart, I wasn't Light enough, so Kairi had to help me regain Light." And it had been more than sharing her memories with our friends. It'd been more than saving my life. Marluxia didn't send me to kill her, did he? He sent me in hopes that I'd gain more Light! And now, now... "But now I'm too Light, aren't I? You need to tip me into the Darkness just the right amount." That was what Marluxia had been hoping I'd do eventually if I were provoked. He'd been convinced I'd kill Kairi.

Xehanort seemed to be thinking along the same lines as I was. He glanced at Kairi, and time seemed to move in slow motion. Kairi—who was still sobbing, but had a better hold on herself now—peaked out at us through her hands. Maybe it was having seen Naminé messed up numerous times that prompted me to act, but whatever reason, I picked Kairi up in my arms and teleported to a nearby cave. As Kairi's Light continued to wreak havoc on my system, I was immediately glad that I didn't take us to another world. Now that I'd learned the truth, Vanitas seemed to push my Darkness out through every crack he could find. Kairi's Light, in response to that, speared me all the more. If I had had to carry her any further, I knew it would have killed me. As it was, we weren't entirely safe, either. We were only a hare's breadth away from where we'd been earlier, but I wasn't really planning to hide from Xehanort.

As I walked with Kairi down the narrow crevice, I couldn't help but recall the last time I'd carried her in my arms like this. It had been that day that I'd promised to not give up on the Light. Looking back on it, that moment had been the first instant the real me resurfaced. It was a sad thing that I still might have to break my promise completely. That I might have to give into the Darkness. I knew that I had failed Kairi enough as it was; I didn't want to break her heart, but I would never allow myself to fail as her protector.

Or Naminé's. As angry as I was with her for manipulating me, for keeping everything a secret, I knew that Kairi had been right. None of this was Naminé's fault. All of the blame rested on me. Naminé, Nobody or not, was a much better person than I would ever be. It was that reason alone that made me still care for the girl.

I didn't realize I'd spoken aloud until we reached the mouth of the cave. Candles laid about the cave scarcely causing a dim light. Kairi looked nothing short of enchanting as the candlelight extenuated her features. She looked... she looked like Xion. Once again, overwhelming guilt consumed me. I would have wondered how I could go on with such painful emotions, but I didn't question the answer anymore. She was sitting in my arms. "Sora," Kairi said in response to some emotion on my face, "I can sense Naminé's presence in tunnels further down. We can go to her if you-"

I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers. Her outright shock was enough to heat up my frozen form figuratively and literally. After my amusement drifted away, I allowed myself the chance to melt into the kiss. Kairi's arms circled around my neck; Kairi's legs, that I had been holding in my hands, wrapped around my waist. I rested my own hands on the small of her back. For a moment, I entertained the idea of finishing what I'd wanted along time ago. But as Kairi's breasts pressed against me, I was reminded of the time Naminé had put my hands to her chest to warm me up. I knew now that I'd been unbalanced at the time; I had been dying.

My life, as well as Kairi and Naminé's, was in jeopardy at the very moment. It'd only be a matter of time before Xehanort showed up, and I needed to be ready. I needed my strength. Unable to hold Kairi's feather-light weight anymore, I let her slide to her feet. I smirked when I saw her lacey violet undies, but my smile quickly faltered. There was too much at stake.

Of course Kairi, being a girl, was quick to try and hide her feelings. Her face became a stony mask and I knew immediately that I had hurt her. It wasn't the time to deal with such things though. As much as I wanted to reconnect with Kairi (and my past), Xehanort remained a huge threat. There was also Naminé to consider. With dread, I wondered if Naminé had been able to sense what we'd been doing. If Kairi could sense _her_...

I never should have kissed Kairi just now. Simple as that. I had only meant to get back at her for all of the times she'd shut me up that way, but Naminé wouldn't understand that. Maybe I didn't, either. Maybe it was just another lie I was telling myself.

Now, as I looked at Kairi, who had moved to place candles close together to make one huge fire, I knew there was nothing I'd ever wanted more than her. In my past memories, I'd always felt for her. My feelings for Naminé had even been based off of her somewhat. I felt for her _now_ despite my damaged heart. But that didn't mean my feelings for Naminé were false.

Kairi, satisfied in her work, dusted her hands against her skirt and stood up. The way she looked at me was woeful at best, and I was amazed by how much I wanted to reassure her. By how much I wanted to be right for her. Water dripped down through holes in the ceiling. As each one made contact with my face, and darkened the cave's walls even more, I felt as though they were pushing me in Kairi's direction. Kairi's name did mean "sea". Naminé may have been an "ocean wave", but it could never match up with the sea's current.

Nothing could match up with Kairi.

"Come here, Kai." I urged with my arms outstretched. She came to me immediately and I encircled her in my arms. As she laid her head against my chest, I was struck with the knowledge of how short she, and therefore Naminé, were. Sure I was standing at a slightly higher elevation than she was, but she was still tiny. Still so fragile. She'd never be safer anyplace but my arms. "We shouldn't be doing this." My teeth chattered for emotion as much as the cold. "Xehanort will be here any moment, and-"

It was actually not Kairi that cut my words off. As I felt her nodding against my chest, as she looked up at my face, I allowed her to speak over my dribble. "Of course. That's actually why I suggested we find Naminé. With her added power we'll have a better chance of-"

Now it was her turn to let me talk. I didn't speak right away though. Instead, I stroked her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. Anything was better than seeing the worry on her brow. "I can't have her in danger, Kai," I finally said. "If I had the strength, I'd take you away from this place, too."

"Somehow, I think Naminé would rather fade back into Kairi than see you with her, Sora." The moment I heard Xehanort's voice, I pushed Kairi behind me instinctively and drew Oblivion and Oathkeeper to my side. Kairi reacted when Xehanort appeared before us. Destiny's Embrace and Kingdom Key rested in such a way that my Keyblades were between hers. My arms were between hers.

We were joined together, as we should have been.

It apparently was all a show to Xehanort. "And now you've given me the perfect prompt to aim for what I want."

"What are you talking about?" I asked with my hands behind my head. A bored air about me. It was Kairi that seemed to crumple under Xehanort's icy glare.

"Naminé," she gasped out in fear and desperation. "Then she's what you were planning all along?" Kairi had wormed her way out in front of me. Pushing my shoulder against hers, I aimed to keep her behind me.

"Sora, stop!" She exclaimed indignantly. Angrily.

I was quick to mimic her and the stupid expression she had on her face. She giggled a bit at that, but we quickly fell back into the same routine. "You really want to be next to this psychopath? He's responsible for everything that's happened with us, Kai."

She smiled a bit at my coined nickname for her. She put a strand of hair behind my ear and left her hand on my cheek. She gazed deeply into my eyes. "You've been calling me that so much lately." As she laughed, she tripped from where she'd been standing on her tiptoes. Hurtling into me, we both fell to the hard, parchment colored, floor beneath us. I was pulled to my feet with a memory, but as my eyes locked onto Xehanort's, I knew that it wasn't of my own accord. There was a flash of horror in his eyes, but a bright and harmful Light was mostly what I saw. How, in all of the white, was I still pulled into the Darkness?

_She_ had saved me from the Darkness, hadn't she? The water maiden that meant so much to me. As she looked at me in shock amidst her element, I couldn't help but feel she'd be unable to save me this time. In every story there's an act of selflessness. But what is selflessness but selfishness? Selfishness shaded by a belief that people could be unselfish.

_"Kairi," My eleven-year-old self had been all big blue eyes, and smiles. Even when he'd unthinkingly criticize Kairi, he was unable to make it stick. I had been unable to hurt people, and it was so much more than people overlooking my bluntness. "Kairi!" I exclaimed again, walking in a hall full of balloons. "There are too many balloons here. It's like how your name has too many letters."_

_Kairi laughed as my klutziness destroyed at least ten of the balloons. Pulling me up by my forearms, she helped me to my feet. As ruffled as I'd felt, I couldn't help but smile at her sparkling eyes. "I thought that was why you called me 'Kai' that one time," Kairi said with batting eyelashes. Even at eleven she'd played coy well._

_While it was true that I had considered giving her a nickname before (had even called her "Kai" before), I wouldn't dream of calling her that name. Not if it wasn't what she wanted. "Are you sure you'd like that nickname? I was kidding, anyway. Your name's so pretty, and-"_

_Kairi cut me off by throwing herself into my arms. My first thought probably should have been about cooties or something of the sort, but all I could think about was how well Kairi and I fit together. We were like corresponding pieces of a different puzzle. Not even Riku could invade on something that was solely ours. "You're the first person to ask what I want." Kairi said with a laugh. "Don't get me wrong! I love my family and this party's nice, but it's a bit grown up for me. Thanks for caring about me, Sora."_

_I stroked her hair as I looked at the room around us. It was circular and white pillars held up the roof. It was big; there was a nice violet table for foods and drinks, but it was really the billion balloons on the floor that had color at all. As I looked at Kairi's auburn colored hair, it was impossible to deny that she was a color person, but I couldn't see why she would be. White should have been her style. She was pure, kind, untouchable... "I think your family's just acknowledging you as an angel, Kai_ri_." I said as we began moving our feet a bit. I wouldn't dare consider this dancing. Kairi was too good to dance with me._

_I imagined she must have read my thoughts. As she pulled away from my chest, she fixed me with a piercing look I couldn't discern. At my disgruntled expression she breathed out and relaxed a bit. "You don't need permission to do things, _Sor_," she accented my own nickname quite purposely. "You've gotten better at being less scared, and sad, but..."_

_I cut her off through the cloudiness leaving my eyes. At least that's what I wanted to have caused her to stop talking. "What are you talking about?" There was a certain catch in my voice. It seemed to say that I did have a secret; it said that I was surprised Kairi knew it. Of course, I should have never put anything past her._

_She looked at me with such sorrow in her eyes that I ached to kiss her eyelids. Anything to make her sadness go away. It was her birthday, after all. "Sora, if you have such Darkness in you, I'm surprised you're not angrier. In fact, get angry. Get mad at what Riku does. Act impetuously. Yell at me for guessing things about you. Warn people, Sora. Warn people before your personality becomes nonexistent."_

_I couldn't really understand what she was saying. On one hand, they seemed to go against everything I knew and believed in. Everything I was. I couldn't believe Kairi would ask such a thing. I pulled away from her instantly and began stalking away. I wondered how I could have ever loved her. I'd taken her advice, but I'd been made to hate her._

_Kairi's shattered stare was shown to me through the clear doors I departed from._

I returned to the present to see Kairi looking at me just as shattered. Beyond all reason, Kairi was leaning over me, but we weren't in the cave anymore. As my body seemed warm, I could only ascertain that we weren't in the Land of Dragons. A warm washcloth was being dabbed at my forehead and through the hazy darkness, I could just make out my Light. Yes, she had always been that, hadn't she? Even when it didn't have the same connotations.

How could I have ever doubted my love for her? How could I have ever forgotten her? For the longest time, I had been disheartened that none of the memories I had of her were happy. They weren't the best memories, but I finally understood. The more you love someone, the more precious the memory was, the sadder you were. When you were with your sole mate, you always messed it up. You tried to sabotage yourself and find reasons not to be with them because you knew if you ever truly lost them, you'd die inside. Even when the moment was nothing short of perfection, you always berated yourself for things you could have done.

There was a lot I had messed up on. Despite my misgivings, I never should have let Kairi down the way I had. And that was why... that was why I couldn't tell her I loved her. Who was I to deserve someone such as Kairi? I'd hurt her her entire life. I'd sacrificed my memories of her. I had hated her, had wanted to rape her... I'd harmed her and had wanted to kill her. No, I didn't deserve Kairi. But I needed her. She needed me too.

And maybe... that was why we belonged together. Through all of the horrible things we'd done and said to each other, we couldn't get enough of each other. We would do anything for each other and burn the world down if needed.

I didn't tell her I loved her because I would spend every day proving it to her. I would make everything up to her first. But I did say this, "How could I have ever forgotten you?"

And then there was strong pressure on my chest. It didn't take a genius to realize that Kairi hadn't realized I was awake. She held me as best she could in the cot I was in and she sobbed against my shirt. "I thought you were going to die! I would have deserved as much for trying to kill you to get to Vanitas. I should have known you weren't him. Ven was too Light to have been trusted."

Too Light? How could Kairi ever think anyone could be too good? I was staring at an angel this very moment. An angel who saw herself as a demon. Maybe that was why she didn't like Ventus. Humanity had marred her judgment. My Darkness had hurt her in a way that should have demanded punishment. I didn't say any of this to her, of course. I was finally reclaiming my old self, and I knew that Kairi wouldn't have taken that sitting down.

"What happened?" I asked whilst inhaling her fruity scent. Why did I always think it would be the last time?

Maybe it should have been until I found Naminé. Kairi swallowed and pulled away to look at me. I went to sit up on the cot, but as the bed rolled all over the place, I gave up on the endeavor and stood beside her. "Xehanort was sampling your memory for something, but you both got pulled into the memory. He looked distressed afterwards, and he ran away. I know we haven't seen the last of him, I know I should have gotten Naminé. But you were unresponsive. I had to get us out of that danger zone. I used a Light Corridor and brought us back to Disney Castle."

So it was like the time she'd brought us here from Radiant Garden then. Looking back on it, the way Vanitas had been throwing my Darkness out in the open, I had been afraid of that kind of Light. Suddenly, Kairi's words had new meaning. "I was dead when you brought me back, wasn't I?"

The way Kairi's hair hung over her face, as if to shield it, was answer enough. She quickly pulled it away from her face and prepared to face whatever was expected of her. "That's no excuse, Sora. If you hadn't been dead at the moment, I would have killed you in that Light. I don't even know how you came back, Sora. But I'm so, so glad. I know I don't deserve you. Three times now you could have died because of me, and-"

"Shh. It's okay, Kairi. You'll never lose me. I'm in your heart, okay? And you're... you're in mine." Somehow, even though I knew everything now, I hadn't realized that I did in fact have a heart. A damaged heart, but a heart nonetheless. A heart that felt pain, sadness, regret, and love. Love for the fragile and beautiful Kairi.

The girl who was too good for this world and most of all mine. As I held her in my arms, I knew for a fact it would be the last time. I held the world in the palm of my hands, but I knew it couldn't last. There was too much at stake.

When would Xehanort come back?

For the first time, I realized I not only had a heart, but I could feel and I had love. With this new state of mind, when a sea of emotions was before me, I knew only one thing. I had to make sure I would be the one to die. Not Kairi. Never Kairi.

It was a beautiful moment, but the pain wasn't too far away. Kairi would never know that I loved her.

**Author's Note: Once again, thanks to all the reviewers, favoriters, and alerters. I tried to reply to you guys, but fanfiction was being wonky. I promise I **_**will**_** reply this time.**

**Sorry for the late update. In all honesty, I've become addicted to **_**Harry Potter**_** and I've been editing a Roxas and Xion video ("Forbidden Love (RokuShi)" by MovingOnMjrn on YouTube). It's for those reasons I haven't updated.**

**It's also for **_**Harry Potter**_** that this Author's Note won't be too long. The urge to read is strong. LOL But never fear, I actually have part of the next chapter done and I'm ahead of schedule for once. I would have even posted this chapter very early had it not been for the distractions. LOL**

**Well, everything's explained for the most part. If you have questions about anything, feel free to ask.**

**I should warn you that the next chapter will have sexual content. It won't be a full lemon, but I thought I'd give you a fair warning. The next chapter might be slightly filler-ish, too. But it's necessary and I don't think you guys will mind much.**

**Honestly, I feel like this entire story has been nothing but intensity and action. It'll be nice to have things slow down for a chapter before they become even crazier. For the most part, the second arc is done and the third one should be starting soon. If my calculations are correct, there should be four arcs and the story will end around chapter twenty.**

**That means we're nearly half way done! Hope you guys are as excited as I am. I never thought the story would become what it has. It seems only yesterday that I was debating continuing the story at all. Good times.**

**Well, hope you guys are enjoying. Thank you so much for all your encouragement! **

**Until next time!**

**-Shanna**


	10. Scorch

**Author's Note: Warning, the lemon went a bit further than I intended. You still don't see the actual act, but you might want to tread carefully. Also there is some very disturbing imagery and language due to a certain someone in this chapter. Only read this if you can handle such things. **

**Also, this chapter didn't end up being filler at all! It's probably the most important chapter thus far! Anyway… **

**Scorch**

At some point during the night, Kairi and I had found ourselves in the room I'd left her in. The room I'd intended on never seeing again. I had thought it some sort of penance for my sins. Only now did I see that selflessness was in fact selfishness. If I was willing to die for Kairi, I had to live for her, too. I would live and love, and somehow we would find our way back to normal.

Normal, however, usually didn't ask for polygamy. As much bad blood as there was, I simply couldn't leave Naminé. And Kairi, whatever the reason, seemed okay with it. When her tears had dried on her face she'd rolled over and clutched my shirt delicately, she looked at me with the most intent gaze I'd ever seen. "Sora," she began; the vulnerability in her voice was enough to prompt me to encircle my arms around her, "I understand that you love Naminé. She's all you had for the longest time and I know your feelings for her are real. With love being so out of reach for me the past four years, I won't be one to stop love when I see it."

For a moment there was just an eerie silence. A tree branch cracked against her picture window. The wind rustled her own drawings around the room, and somehow the desk beside her bed—that was holding her lucky charm—looked a similar color to Kairi's hair in the dimming light. The weather outside might as well have been a cacophony of her reeling emotions. "Kairi," I said whilst I held her face between my hands (it was such a relief to not want to snap her neck), "Naminé means nothing in comparison to you. I've done enough damage to you already, and..."

I trailed off not from doubt, but curiosity. Kairi sat up from the bed where we'd been laying and met me with a clear stare. Kairi had always seemed to see through me like no other, but I had the distinct feeling that there was more to it. Had she somehow regained her sanity? Had my learning the truth restored her, as well? The shirt Kairi wore was a forest green and had a plunging backline. It was a simple reaction to stare at her exposed skin, but it was a simpler reaction to comfort her when she was upset. Sitting up too, I wished that she would turn to look at me. Lightning flashed outside and for one bizarre moment, I imagined she was controlling the weather.

"Kairi," I asked as I put a reassuring hand on her back, "what's wrong?"

The moment my hand had touched her skin, Kairi had shot forward as if she'd been burnt. I pulled my hand away immediately, and found that my very fingers were burning with electricity. It was always a pleasure to touch Kairi, but I shouldn't have been thinking about anything other than what was troubling her. "But that's just it, Sora. I shouldn't be so much to you. Of course I'm selfish and I want you, but I'd resigned myself to be whatever you needed. You have your memory and self back and I'm so, so happy, but maybe it's not meant to be this way. Maybe we've changed too much, Sora."

I could only stare at her in horror. Though most of my memories hadn't returned, I couldn't deny that this seemed so unlike Kairi. She was always so full of life, hope, and Light. To give up when she'd won... it didn't compute. "Kairi," I once again moved to reassure her somehow, but she sensed me coming.

Standing from the bed and strolling to the picture window, Kairi put her hands on her hips and looked away decidedly. "We've lost so much time, Sora. The last time I saw you was at Kingdom Hearts. You looked me in the eyes so lovingly and said my words back to me. You said that you were always with me and you'd come back to me. Maybe I just put the wrong connotation with those words."

I would have liked to try to approach Kairi again. The thunder crashed outside and I fell against the headboard; I cowered like a child. Never in all of my imaginings had I thought Kairi would pull away from me. I'd thought that I would put an end to her. That I'd always choose Naminé. I had regained myself though. I was decent again and I'd regained my love for Kairi. But it wasn't enough. Only now was she seeing what she should have all along.

I didn't deserve her. She was better off with someone else. I could only hope that person would be Riku. They deserved each other.

Kairi continued on with her state of mind; she was unaware of my inner musings. As I saw her face mirrored back at me, I imagined the pelting raindrops were all the tears she had shed over me. "I'm sick of crying," she had said once. She would have her wish. She'd never cry for me again because I'd never be in her life again. I just needed an opportunity to leave. It was made difficult when she turned around again.

She looked at me for a moment with glossy eyes before turning her attention to her feet. "You _were_ always with me, Sora. When you have someone in your heart they can be no place else." Kairi's hand, as it often did, clutched her necklace. I remembered all too clearly the day we'd met. The day she'd appeared on Destiny Islands. I'd found her washed up on shore with a blinking necklace and stayed with her until Riku had brought much needed help. Her necklace had stopped blinking just as I became anchored to her. It didn't need to remind me of what a gem Kairi was. "This necklace had been spelled, Sora. If I were in danger, it was supposed to take me to someone's Light. Someone to keep me safe. My last memory of Radiant Garden is looking at the expanse of sky and seeing your face. When the worlds were restored, I saw your face in the sky again. I can't help feeling that was supposed to be our ending. Our hearts coexisting is a problem because I shouldn't have a heart or be human right now. When my Nobody was all there should have been of me, you found someone else to love."

And there it was. What hurt Kairi most, something that she would never admit, was that even when I remembered her I'd chosen Naminé over her. I had known that each floor of Castle Oblivion I traversed, the more I'd forget. I should have never risked it! No wonder Kairi thought I'd chosen to forget her. "The thing is," Kairi said as she strode past me to the other side of the room (the headboard of the bed), "you and Naminé have had four years of a progressing relationship. You may have been messed up, but you still behaved like a normal couple. We, on the other hand, have gone from rarely holding hands to lust alone. Lust and love don't share the same company. It doesn't take a genius to realize you don't love me, Sora. We've both changed. But Naminé's the good, old me. She's been through so much and she deserves this, Sora. _You_ deserve to be with her."

Before I could really think through my actions, I was air born. I pinned Kairi to the wall behind her and drew Oblivion at her neck. She gasped in shock, but we both knew I wouldn't hurt her. "If this right here doesn't prove I'm meant for only you, I don't know what does. I've changed completely, Kairi. I've forgone everything I believed in just to be with you!"

Kairi giggled and I was momentarily taken back to a time when Kairi had laughed in my face and called me a "lazy bum". Those days, however, were long past. It was because of their loss that I was losing Kairi at this very moment. "Sora," Kairi exclaimed suddenly frustrated, "all that means is that you're keeping your promise to come back to me. You have your memories, but why should either of us expect more?"

"Because you're all I ever wanted, because you're all there is for me, because we're destined to be together!" Because I love you! The words were there, but I couldn't say them. Why were the happy things always the most painful? I finally knew what love was, but I couldn't say it. I couldn't have Kairi dispute that, too.

I barely felt Kairi's arms come around and circle my neck as I banged my head against the wall (I wasn't abusing her for once!), but it was a small comfort despite the numbness. Despite how her words were an arrow through my heart. "Maybe we don't get to have what we want, Sora. Everything's been against us from the beginning. And you belong with Naminé."

Her tears sparkled like pale, crystalline jewels. For once, I wasn't reminded of Naminé, but another Kairi with jewel like eyes. Xion had said I'd been corrupted. Who was I to argue with an angelic ghost? "Kairi," I said as I leaned my bruised forehead against hers, "I belong with the girl I gave up my heart for, the girl I allowed my heart to be destroyed for because I thought Naminé _was_ her, the girl that shaped another girl just because she meant so much to me. Don't you see, Kairi? It's always been you. Naminé and Xion are shades of my feelings for you. I need the girl I survived my own hell to be with."

Kairi smiled radiantly against my lips at the words, but I doubted she heard the last ones. Gingerly, I placed my lips to hers. I was asking rather than taking for once. As Kairi complied and the kisses became deeper, her body—that was still between me and the wall—did the only thing it could at the moment: Kairi jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist. Even through her clothes I could feel her bare skin close to mine. But we were moving too fast. I'd just gotten her back. As far as I was concerned, we had forever for everything. I carried her to the bed and laid her gently on it.

I crawled over her instantly, but I didn't immediately take Kairi's clothes off. Instead, I set to work planting open-mouthed kisses on Kairi's collarbone. Kairi moaned her pleasure, but she was still able to glare at me. "Why don't you just take my shirt off instead of pulling it down? It'll make things easier that way, Spiky."

I didn't know how Kairi had changed from an over thinker to a seductress so quickly, but I wasn't complaining. "Where's the fun in that?" I asked with a crooked smile, but Kairi had clearly had enough.

Rolling us over so that she was hovering over me, she quickly took my own shirt off. As she peppered my bare chest with light kisses, I thought it only fair that she receive the same privilege. I pulled her revealing shirt up and over her head, but to my disappointment, she didn't seem to mind. "Good man, Sor." She said approvingly. "I don't know if I can wait any longer."

As she tried to sit atop my lap, I restrained her by holding onto her hips a bit roughly. She huffed her displeasure and I smiled in getting the reaction I wanted. Finally. A sexually frustrated Kairi was too fun. "Just be glad there was a bed in here, Kai. Otherwise you would have had to wait even longer. I'd hardly make love to the girl I treasure on the floor for our first time."

Kairi rolled her eyes and threw her long hair over her shoulder. Even so, she managed a small smile. "Still such a tease." She remarked knowingly.

I laughed against her lips at that. "As I've said before, honey, you have no idea." I paused immediately when my words hit home. I was such an idiot! Why had I brought up my kidnapping of her and all the other bad memories. Kairi, however, didn't seem to notice my change in demeanor. She had removed her lacey, scarlet bra. For a moment, I could only stare. If I'd thought her bra had matched her hair, it was nothing compared to how well her breasts suited the rest of her body. "You okay, Pointy?" Kairi asked with a laugh. Her innuendo was becoming more apparent by the second. Sure my hair was pointy, but that wasn't what she was referring to.

"I'm perfect." But as what I said washed over me again, I felt anything but. Why did those words seem to mean something?

My line of thought was instantly cut off when I felt Kairi's hands run over a certain area of my jeans. The girl smirked evilly, and I found that I had had enough. I rolled us over again so that I was straddling her. The look of shock on her face was too cute. "You're my victim, Kairi. Always have been. Always will."

She bucked up against me and I could feel the moistness of her arousal even through her jeans. My thoughts, like Kairi's, were centered on discarding more clothing. We both seemed to disregard the fact that I was acting weird, and we continued on without the faintest worry.

I would remember that night as the best of my life, but all good things must come to an end. Everything had a balance.

...

I woke with a start. Something was bothering me, but I couldn't be too sure what that something was. Kairi remained blissfully unaware. I got out of the bed (nearly tripping on the cream, silk blankets in the process) and pulled on my boxers.

There was a presence.

Try as I might, I couldn't locate anything lurking in the shadows of the room or outdoors. I looked at Kairi again. Perhaps I should will my mind to be calm for once. Kairi and I had experienced something beautiful. Was I just being masochistic in expecting the worst? I looked to Kairi again, and I must have been having a nightmare because she sprung out of bed fast and jerkily. She looked possessed. Her eyes were less violet. She was paler and her hair was blond.

She was Naminé.

I stumbled into the dresser and was surprised that it didn't break through the wall behind it. I wasn't in a hurry to get up. I tried to form words and thoughts, but nothing would come. "This is impossible," I finally settled on, "I know I was with Kairi! You don't even do Naminé justice!"

Proving my assumption, but increasing my dread, it began to snow overhead. The snow held no coldness, but it would still be a silent killer. The girl that _wasn't _Naminé swarmed her face in front of me and blinked, but it wasn't in Kairi's coy or Naminé's innocence.

_"Do you think that we can have children one day?" Naminé had asked while we laid curled together on her whiter than white bed. She ran her fingers over my bare chest and played at a bit of hair that was there. Looking back at it, I should have noticed a lot of oddities: Marluxia not caring about our sexual endeavors, how aged my body was for a "fourteen year old", and how the feel of Naminé felt nice, but not all consuming._

_I stroked her hair for a moment. My hair got tangled in the somewhat long locks. Even then, Nami hadn't held a candle to Kairi. Her hair wasn't as short as Kairi's had once been, nor was it nearly as long as Kairi's hair was now. I had always been an extremist. A middleman would have never been me. Maybe that was why Kairi was so wrong in thinking I should be with Naminé. I could never love someone that didn't make me feel anger, jealousy, sadness... I could never love someone that only made me feel good. As ridiculous as it sounded, the best came with the worst. And what had I been but goodness and evil? Kairi and I were bookends. Maybe that's why... maybe that's why I said what I did then._

_"Naminé," I had said cautiously. She tried to roll onto my chest, but I was quick to stop her. I had never wanted Nami closer than necessary. When I was with her, it had always felt like an obligation. Even in my head I had never been free. "Nami, why would you take the chance in knowing they could be like me? That they could be born into this trap of Marluxia's? We're prisoners and Marluxia's hardly the kind to want little tikes running around this castle."_

_A tear glistened in Naminé's eye. In guilt, I pulled her head to my chest and allowed my heartbeat to be all that filled her mind. "I suppose there's a chance we'd never even be able to have kids." Naminé_ _said with a yawn. At the time I'd thought she was seeing my fractured heart as a liability. Only now did I know she was referring to her Nobody status._

_"You mean everything to me, Nami." I said as I clutched her arms in each hand. "Maybe one day when we _are _free..."_

_Naminé shook her head against my chest; she was so much like Kairi in that moment that it almost pulled me from the memory. I loved Naminé. I hated what I was doing to her. As I looked at myself in the memory, one thing became apparent, I realized I'd ignored a certain fact._

_My eyes had been gold and not blue._

As I returned to the present, the same gold eyes I had once had, stared back at me in Naminé's face. I threw myself against the opposite wall as fast as I could. As Vanitas sneered at me through Naminé's face, I willed myself to know it really wasn't her. "_You_ love her?" I asked incredulously.

My sudden question was enough to break his hold on his appearance. He changed back to my black haired, gold-eyed doppelganger, and he approached me as if he didn't have a care in the world. "You and I are Yin and Yang. We had to be at balance. Who better to be Kairi's Yang than her Nothing Nobody?"

Suddenly, we were nowhere even remotely similar to Kairi's room at Disney Castle. As I looked at the stain glassed platform and bottomless pit, I instantly recognized this place as where I'd had my Awakening. "This isn't real." I said with a sigh of relief. I could deal with my inner demons easier than a real one.

Vaniras' smirk was nothing short of smug. I pulled Oathkeeper (I had just enough time to grab Kairi's lucky charm before we faded to this place) and Oblivion to my side as I pondered how an inner battle could eveN work. "Yes," Vanitas said in a very similar condescending voice, "you're dreaming, Sherlock. Master Xehanort's last attempt at creating the X-Blade turned sour with physical battles. He hasn't made the same mistake twice."

And then he did something that truly took me by surprise: he summoned the X-Blade to his hand. I aimed to walk away from the much more powerful Keyblade, but found myself tripping over the ledge of the steep pillar instead. "How is this possible? We haven't joined. Our Light and Darkness aren't at balance!"

Vanitas raised an eyebrow and I didn't like the suggestive nature behind the act. "Really? We've both consummated our relationship with our girls. And didn't your Darkness join with the girl you always considered your Light?"

No.

It couldn't be. I couldn't believe Kairi and my love had lead to me being overcome. How could that had ever led to the X-Blade? Marluxia had...

Vanitas read my mind and I gasped in horror in realizing what that meant. We really _had_ joined, hadn't we? "The Master said he wouldn't fail, didn't he? Marluxia might have wanted you to kill your girl to forge the X-Blade, but Xehanort was kind and found another way."

"This is impossible!" I exclaimed as my final bout of defense. "You're a part of Ven. Not me! We can't be joined like this-"

Vanitas rolled his eyes this time. As he clutched the X-Blade, I prepared to defend myself however need be. "You think Ven alone had the say in choosing you to mend his heart? I'm a part of him! Of course I chose, too! You morphed _me_, Sora. You gave me your face. What does that tell you? The destruction of our bodies just made us latch onto you more. You were always a part of us. I even helped you and joined your Darkness with mine. At least you had the benefit of not being responsible for your bad actions. Except now, that is."

Just as the word left his mouth, I could only clutch my head in agony. Light and Darkness alike were tormenting my soul. I truly was at balance. But what was the cost?

_A female Keyblader, with blue hair and eyes that reminded me of Kairi's, was trapped by tendrils of Darkness as Vanitas had leaned over her and smothered her in kisses. _

_"Vanitas," The girl had cried while she squirmed beneath him, "please stop. This is too much."_

_Vanitas had paid her no mind. Instead, he became more relentless. "Honey, you have no idea. Rest assured that your duty of protecting the balance will be done, Aqua. This world needs more Darkness and the destruction of your Light will make me even stronger. I'll destroy your sanity first." He said with delighted malice in his voice._

Though I was pulled to the present, I didn't act like it. I couldn't take the chance that I might provoke him. I was too busy reeling to be much of a fight. That's why the words had meant so much to me last night! Vanitas had said them before! It wasn't the first time I'd said things that he had, but it was the first time he hadn't tried to possess me when I did it.

I looked at the platform beneath me and even with what I knew, I was surprised to see me—or Vanitas—with black hair and blue eyes. Beside us were Roxas and Ventus. I took a deep breath and willed what I'd say to be true. "You said we're half of a whole, but it's not true! There's four of us. There's no way we could have joined. If they're still-"

I was cut off as Vanitas' X-Blade soared through my heart. It hurt, but I didn't die like I would have expected. Perhaps my heart had finally broken all the way. "It's just a metaphor, idiot!" Vanitas said with bared teeth. "It changes nothing that you're such a freak. But maybe Xion—who was more like our girls than us—might have been able to help if you hadn't slaughtered her. Always an anomaly that one."

Vanitas came at me in my moment of guilt, buy I was ready for him this time. He may have had a Keyblade forged of two Keyblades, but my two Keyblades held more meaning than his. I could dual wield because of Ven. Roxas, Xion, Riku, and Kairi all had memories that made up the Keys. If I used that...

Vanitas must have read my thoughts. He lunged for me again, but I dodged. Soon we were circling each other. "What do you want?" I finally snapped when my emotions began to get the best of me.

He smiled evilly at my outburst and pointed the X-Blade at me. "I knew you'd give in first. You're the weaker personality. Still, why does the mural remain with you in control?" Stupidly, I looked at the mural where Vanitas had my eyes. I _was_ in control wasn't I? Kairi had commented on my eyes many times. When I was in control they were blue... "Xehanort and I have waited too long to have a Light bearer wield the X-Blade, so I'm afraid you're going to have to stop fighting me and submit to what's happened."

"I'll never!" I roared, as I charged at him, but only to crash down onto the ground. The most horrific images were playing through my head, and even as I clawed at my head, they wouldn't leave me alone.

Me beating Kairi to a bloody pulp and laughing all the while.

Me forcing Kairi to be my slave and making her pleasure Naminé and I while we went at it.

Me raping Kairi before thrusting my Keyblade into her vagina after I was spent.

"Stop it!" I cried as tears, blood, and sweat flowed to the platform I was laying on in fetal position.

Vanitas, as if he were a caring big brother, came over and stroked my hair out of my eyes as he cast a Blizzard spell to cool my now fevered state. "That's just the beginning, dear boy. If you don't give me the X-Blade, I'll break out as easily as I've done before and be even more creative than _that _when it comes to torturing Kairi. I'll make sure you remember every little detail. I'll let you taste her blood."

"No!" I sprung to my feet and aimed for his own heart, but the X-Blade was too powerful. It was defending him long before it reached its mark.

I gasped in fear not for myself but for Kairi. Vanitas' eyes had become emotionless. Only when I'd been at my worst had I ever turned a blind eye on anything. "You can't beat me in a fight, and you'll risk her safety that way? Perhaps you're not as Light as I thought. Perhaps you'd like to try fucking her ear? If that doesn't give you pleasure, you could easily torture her with her Oathkeeper."

"Stop!" I begged as I felt my body wanting to puke, but unable to do so in a dream.

Vanitas laughed maniacally. No matter what I said, he could dig up my worst nightmare. "And so we're back to begging. I know you like her sexually frustrated begging, but I love pleads for mercy more. I've had fourteen years to come up with various tortures and I'm dying to try them out. Do you remember killing the first three people that came over to your house, Sora? Do you remember your goldfish?"

He was winning. There was no helping it, and I suddenly didn't care. I did kill people at my house? I'd thought I imagined it.

That was why my personality had become nonexistent. And when I began forgetting things, I became so cheerful to counteract the bad.

"You don't even know things I've done to Kairi that you don't remember," he continued on. "If Naminé weren't the witch, I'd be wondering about your girl. The slut of course enjoyed every minute of it."

"Shut _up_!" I demanded whilst hurtling a fission firaga spell at him. I wouldn't have him insulting Kairi that way. It was always about Kairi.

Vanitas grinned triumphantly. Apparently he could see something I couldn't. "If you're so adverse to my ideas, I suppose there's one more to consider. If you win I'll be gone forever, but if _I _win, _you_ will be gone forever. Eternally asleep in your own mind opposed to trapped in it."

As much as I wanted to be against taking any unnecessary risks, I couldn't deny the merit of it. Kairi had told me to believe in the Light. What was Light but optimism even when everything seemed hopeless? If I was going to change completely for Kairi and Naminé as I planned, I needed to believe in myself. Allowing Oathkeeper and Oblivion to cross blades in my normal stance, I glared into a face I now knew as my own. A face I had become at times. I would never allow it to harm Kairi again.

"Such confidence," Vanitas scowled. "I didn't realize that the Light taught its followers to be cocky. Which reminds me-"

"Tell me your wager!" I bellowed as I closed my eyes against what Vanitas might try and make me see. His cock anywhere around Kairi was something I'd rather not think about.

In my eagerness to escape away from the horrors I'd just been witness to, I forgot that Vanitas now had the ability to read my mind. I was pretty much asking him to plague me with disturbing mental images, but they didn't come. I opened my eyes cautiously and Vanitas laughed at my cowardice. "Lucky for you that you'll have to go through your pleasant memories. Though I don't think you'll fare much better against those. And FYI, I'd much rather fuck Kairi as you. The pain of betrayal's too good to go without."

Vanitas must have realized I was growing as impatient as he was. As I glared at him and waited for him to cave, the imaginary area around us was stripped away. Everything was in the Darkness, but as triangular shards of Light shot forward, I was oddly reminded of the Datascape. If I looked closely enough, I could see different visions of Kairi in each one.

Vanitas was nowhere to be found. He blended right into his element. So how was it that I was completely unscathed from this Darkness? I was almost pure Light...

I don't know how long I was floating there. Even though I was in empty space, I couldn't ignore the feeling that I was drowning. I was about to give up on this endeavor altogether when Vanitas finally spoke. "Go into the memories, Sora. See how the Darkness stains even your best memories. If you can get rid of but one of the Dark stamps, you'll be free of me forever. But if you break one of the Elements, you too will be broken. You'll sleep and there will be no Savior to wake you up." I was about to ask him why he seemed to be implying something with the last bit, but I didn't get the chance. He said, "nighty-night" and was off.

His overzealous-ness for his goal didn't reach me, but maybe it should have.

I latched onto the first memory I saw. I prayed to the Olympus Coliseum Gods that this memory wasn't one where Vanitas had possessed me. _Please don't let me have tortured her like he wanted to_, I pleaded with the memory my fingertips were just now gracing. How I longed to see a pleasant memory for change! Just as soon as I thought such a thing, the memory box expanded so it was all I could see. I was pulled into the Light graciously, as if I were to be part of an intricate design. It was much kinder than what the Dark tendrils would have done. Warmth seeped up my chest and as I breathed it in, I realized that it smelled exactly of Kairi. I didn't have time to worry about the foreboding that scent brought before I found myself in her arms.

Unlike any memory I'd seen thus far, I wasn't watching a scene from the past, but rather I was involved in it. It was actually my legs that Kairi's was nestled between. My arms were gripping the skin that her shirt exposed, and she had one leg draped over my hip as her hands tangled in my hair. Her lips pressed inexperienced against mine, but it was still somehow as good as the kisses we'd shared recently.

Finally, it was Kairi that broke away. She looked at me horror struck and shoved away from my chest. "We can't be doing this, Sora!"

For a moment, despite Kairi's short cropped hair and less developed body, I thought we were back to just a night prior when she'd been trying to push me towards Naminé. "Of course we can, Kai! It's what we've always wanted, isn't it? You've helped me so much!" I exclaimed as I went to stroke the hair from her face. The beach had encrusted sand and water into her ruby locks. And though the wind blew it around harshly, I couldn't imagine it looking any better.

"Sora," Kairi said with pain in her eyes I was all too familiar with. "We're only thirteen years old. The punch must have been spiked or something. We're not acting like ourselves."

Kairi tried to get past me, but I couldn't have that. Once again, I was reminded of another time. A time when Naminé had told me I was _four_teen even four years after the fact. We had to be thirteen because this was a memory, but despite our raunchy actions, I wasn't buying her means of explanation. "Kairi!" I said as I pulled on her arm to halt her. The towel she wore over her bikini fell off in the motion, and for a minute, all I could do was stare.

Kairi sighed greatly and averted my gaze. "You're acting like..." She said under her breath.

It didn't take a genius to realize what she was talking about. "Vanitas?" I asked her, wishing I never had to say such a vial name. How could something meaning "empty" mean so much?

And then Kairi was pulling away from me again. She looked at me lividly and suspiciously. Perhaps she was expecting my features to turn to his or something. "You can't know about him!" She said absolutely. "He's so different from you that you have become his exact opposite! You don't knowledge he exists, but you combat it. Are you him right now? I swear, Vanitas! If it's you, I'll-"

"Kairi!" I exclaimed as I walked closer to her (burning my feet in the sand in the process) and began shaking her. "I _am _Sora, but I'm him from the future! Vanitas is going to take control of me right now if we don't do something."

I had expected many things to happen at my admission: Kairi to be disbelieving, Kairi to run away, Kairi to scream... I did not expect her to put a charm on my head and begin saying an incantation. The Darkness began coming from me strip by strip and I couldn't help but let out a blood curdling scream. "He already _is_ taking you over, Sora. Merlin warned me about this. This memory is untrue to the real event and it's making _you_ unreal. You're toeing the line between Light and Darkness, and if you break one of them inside you, we're all doomed."

As much as I would have liked to inform Kairi that she was probably destroying my Darkness by dampening it, I was unable to doubt her. Perhaps I loved her _too_ much. I knew this Kairi wasn't as tolerable to Darkness as the new one, and even she'd almost killed me a few times. What was stopping this Kairi from killing me now? If it saved the worlds...

"Kairi, I know what you're trying to do. But the experiment has failed in the past. You _can't_ extract my Darkness. The pieces will just go someplace else, but if you kill me..."

"Then I'll be protected in the future," She finished for me awestruck. "You really love me that much?"

_I would have loved you enough to live for you, but that won't happen now. I also won't allow myself to answer you, for whatever reason. _"When you have a soul mate," I told her, "you mess it up more than anything. The feeling's too powerful, and you're afraid of it. You sabotage it so you can't lose what you don't have. Still, you're unable to stay away. The more you hurt one another, the more you love each other. Because you love each and everything about them. The things that they hate about themselves and the things that don't make sense to anyone else. Essentially, you love the part of them they can't love."

Only as I said the words did I realize I had screwed up. I hadn't stripped this memory of Darkness at all! I had implanted it all myself. This memory had been one of the Lightest I had and I had tainted it. Of course, Vanitas had planned that all along, hadn't he? As lost as I was between Light and Darkness, it was impossible for one to fall into the Light.

And suddenly, I was falling. Everything was falling away, but beneath my eyelids, I _saw_. I'd gotten my wish and was seeing happy memories, but I was now doomed to sleep in them.

_Sora, come put your prince drawing with Kairi's princess one. Let's show the class that boys and girls _can _get along._ That's right. Our pre-school teacher had said that, hadn't she?

_Kairi, I want you to marry me when we grow up. I don't want to explain to a girl ever again about why my name's girly!_ Selphie... why had she insulted my name, again?

_Riku may be my best friend, Sora. But I had to kick him for deciding to use you as a crash test dummy! _Kairi had defended me. Whatever made me think _I _could protect _her_?

_Why do I even hang out with you guys? Mom predicted long ago that I'd be the third wheel._ Even then Riku had sensed our bond...

_Kairi, will you please stop telling me to catch fish with my hands? _Amidst the way I was fading, I could barely laugh. Some things never changed.

_In nine years, I can sue if I'm not your best man, Sora! _Riku again.

_Sora, when are you going to tell Iri that you like her?_ I'd never tell _Kai_. I was as much of a coward now as I was then.

_Sora, I'm eleven now. At eleven after eleven, I want you to hear my biggest birthday wish! _I had never heard, had I? I'd stormed off angrily that night.

_Kairi, about what happened at your birthday party_... That's right. Kairi and I had played that "falling through the floors" game. It had been the first time I touched her after I realized I could never stop loving her.

_Kairi, how do you know if you're hung over? I'm sick and don't remember_ anything. So that had been the proper ending to this memory. Not that it'd do any good now.

_Don't ever forget. Wherever you go, I'm always with you_. Except I'd messed up too badly. In my sleeping state, not even her lucky charm would keep me company.

_You loved it! And Sora, I love _you_. _More than anything I wish I could go back to the night where this had all started. How different would things have been if I had listened to Kairi?

Suddenly, I found I didn't care. I'd reached the bottom of the abyss and I was suddenly so tired. I knew I had responsibilities, but what did it matter? Someone else would be better at taking my charge.

Said person laughed bitterly. "Even when you had full control of the memory and world you were in, even when you were controlling Kairi in that dream, you wished Kairi to strip your Darkness away. Congratulations, Sora. While this body turns to Darkness, you can sleep in the memories where you were blissfully unaware."

What did it matter? Being unaware _was_ blissful. I'd failed, and right now I couldn't imagine anyone doing worse. As I saw the mural return, I did notice one thing: I was no longer represented. Roxas and Ven had faded away, too. All that was left was Vanitas and the X-Blade.

Sora was no more. I, Vanitas, smiled gleefully at a soundly sleeping Kairi.

**Author's Note: I have no idea how this became so long! Darn characters using **_**me**_** as their puppet! Anyway, I was going to wait to post this until after writing the next chapter (that way I'd always have the chapters you guys need to read written), but I'm pretty upset tonight. I won't bore you as to why, but my life is not going great. If you guys could leave nice reviews, it would mean the world to me.**

**I feel bad fishing for reviews. That's why I usually don't ask for them, but it is what it is.**

**And Madax, do you mind using an account so I can PM you? Could you maybe elaborate on how detailed you want the timeline to be? Or maybe just ask what you're confused about? I'm afraid I don't have exact dates for everything, but I'll be happy to help where I can.**

**Although, the single sentences Sora remembers at the end, they all take place in a different year that Sora knew Kairi. As some of the sentences have been used in flashbacks that too might give you an idea. The first sentence is the year Sora met Kairi (when they were four) and the second to last is obviously in KH1 when they're fourteen. The last line is when they're reunited in the first chapter; they're eighteen when it takes place. **

**Also, Kairi wasn't voluntarily helping Marluxia. He kidnapped and tortured her so she'd help him. She, of course, later regrets not wanting to help. At the time, she would have let Sora die so the worlds would be safe from him. **

**Vanitas' point of view will start next chapter and last until I say otherwise. I'm sure you understand why this is. Vanitas is controlling Sora's body now; Sora's mind is asleep like how Ven's was (before he died in the explosion of Castle Oblivion).**

**By the way, you might have noticed that my Author's Notes have become shorter. Well, I'm doing this mainly because I don't want to explain things in these. If I'm writing the story well, I shouldn't have to do that. But if you do need something explained, feel free to PM me. I'm just not going to babble in my Author's Notes. **

**Until next time!**

******-Shanna**


	11. Inferno

**Inferno**

**(Vanitas' Point of View)**

The first thing I noticed upon opening my newly acquired eyes (besides the blue sheen that seemed to obstruct my vision) was that Kairi was not where I had last seen her. I had only meant to blink my eyes for a moment, so…

"Pearl!" Searing pain. That's all it can be described as. Once upon a time, my body would have absorbed such a measly attack. The shadow of the glorious Naminé clearly didn't want to harm her love's body. I would be using that to my advantage. That wouldn't be the only thing.

As my eyes adjusted to the blinding Light that was Kairi, I was momentarily distracted. Just a moment ago she'd been in front of me, and now… now she was stabbing me through the stomach.

I laughed. It was too much like Aerith's death. How fortunate it was that the worlds had thought to bring her back. While it was true that many worlds' citizens had been planted in different places and with different memories, Aerith was one of the few that had been raised from the dead. She'd apparently been central to Sora's training. Now that Sora was gone… would she die the gruesome way I might if I weren't too strong?

Kairi let out a gasp as Destiny's Embrace was whipped from her hands and fell into mine. At once she started backing even further behind me. But I wasn't too worried. A Princess of Heart could only do so much without a Keyblade.

The weather outside had become calm, quiet, and bright. It was sickening, but as the light cut across Kairi's frame, I couldn't help but smile evilly. Even the multiverse couldn't deny what was meant to be. I was meant to inhabit this body the way Kairi, the only person who could get in my way now, was meant to die at my hands. "Do you find it humorous," I began to ask her and was pleased that the my voice wasn't as high as that kid's, "that the storms of your emotions, the literal storms outside, protested your union? But they smile happily upon my dominating your Sora?"

Kairi didn't seem to care too much about herself in that equation, but I'd only just gotten started. No one knew humans like I did. I could see how their hearts worked, but I was stripped of their stupid tendency of self-sacrifice. "Or are you more concerned of the things I'll do to you so he can see?"

"I defeated you once." Her voice was quiet. Hollow. Even so, I could clearly hear the words.

However, I knew for sure what she was wishing I _wouldn't_ hear. She was creating a Corridor of Light to escape through. All I needed to do now was bide my time and the reward would be more than I dared dream. "I'm sorry, love. What was that?"

Ahh, she was crying now. As she was still turned away from me, I couldn't see. But the signs were all there. Her quivering frame, her unstable breathing… it was good to know that she found kind nicknames more harmful than derogatory ones.

"If I can't defeat you, then I'll keep you running after me forever." As the room was encased in a blinding Light, it seemed as though it might tear me apart. I was, after all, pure Darkness now. So why wasn't I burnt asunder?

Unless… it was too good to be true! Kairi was unable to properly create a Corridor of Light without her Keyblade. And now that I had it, she was severely weakened by what she was doing. Her powers would be enough to get her away, but she would be at my mercy soon enough. I just needed to play it cool.

Screams erupted from my throat. I clawed at my own skin, but it was all for show. I knew that Kairi would be harmed thoroughly by this, but I wouldn't. As it was, I'd discovered I could bring Sora to the forefront for my bidding. If he was only there for a moment, the Light could absorb into the being of Light and I'd be just fine. If anything, it would show to the loser just how powerful I was.

_Just you wait, _chosen one,_ if you ever awaken, I'll show you what you want most and keep it from you. _

I was greeted with nothing but silence and couldn't help but smile to myself. My conscience would be gone forever; the world would know the beauty of my massacres!

Grabbing onto the tail of Kairi's robe before she could disappear entirely, I was reunited with the feeling of my atoms tearing apart to come together somewhere else. We soared past world after world. Each one seemed a bit Darker. Perhaps they realized what was coming and wished to gradually become used to the Darkness. As if that would stop me.

"Ugh!" Kairi's head smashed against the ground with a resounding crack; it suited me just fine that she had hit the concrete of the Olympus Coliseum. If her hard head didn't knock the stupid statues down, I'd be more than willing. Maybe I didn't have to try at all. I too fell atop of her. As her entire back cascaded with the glorified God, I considered whether or not Kairi had a bone for demolition, too.

"Are you crying because of the pain or my beauty?" I asked as I peered into her unfocused eyes.

She let out a cry of indignation, but she was sadly mistaken if she thought it affected me. Didn't she know I took pleasure in her pain? "Why didn't you just keep me at Disney Castle if you were going to follow me? And why do you have my Keyblade!"

She tried to move out from under me, but she shouldn't have bothered. Without her lovely Destiny's Embrace, she was just a slight woman with little to no strength. Yes, I would enjoy this very much.

Sticking my fingers beneath her tongue so she couldn't talk again, I couldn't help but laugh heartily at her horrified expression. "I'm not going to rip your tongue out yet, girl. You should know this by now. This body is mine and I'll be sure to experience all of the things that your Sora did. Don't worry. I've learned to be quite patient. I might not even kill you for Naminé."

My witch's name seemed to ignite something in Kairi. Rolling her back away from me, she met my stomach with her legs. As she kicked me onto the peach colored sand below, I felt the disgusting taste of my own blood. She was running now. Running for the world exit. But without her Keyblade and Light powers she was just a nescience. Not a threat.

I kicked the back of her knees when I caught up with her. Her own knees buckled and I had the glorifying knowledge that I'd made the bitch taste her own blood. "How many times are we going to do this Kairi? There were the times when I possessed the young Sora, the time our hearts were together within Sora's, and, of course, the recent times before Sora won his consciousness back. Do you know which one of those vexed me the most?"

And rolling around onto her knees so that she could face me, I could see that she was still fearful, but she would aim for a calmer approach now. She always did. "When you couldn't get past the Light barrier when we were in Sora's heart." She said this grudgingly. I knew it cost her something to know so much about the monster that had ruined her life many, many times.

"That's a good girl." I said as I crouched down and licked from the side of her neck, to her cheek, and to her hair matted in blood. "But there's more to it than that." I said against her temple. "You see, it was a horrible thing to have free reign with you—finally!—and then be forced to lose that. If I hadn't known I'd be completely free after Sora balanced me with his rediscovered Light, I could have never broken the interesting hold I have on you."

Kairi's eyes scrunched in pain—emotional and physical remembrances—but I _also_ knew her more than I would have desired to do so. I knew the real reason that she couldn't even look at me now. "You loved it, didn't you Kairi? I'm your equal and balance. You're drawn to me more than Sora."

"That's not true!" For the briefest of moments, I thought I was in the company of Naminé again. But though Kairi, unlike Naminé, had a gift for expressing herself, her outburst was still quite impressive. Perhaps she wasn't the complacent girl I'd once known. "I only ever had the desire to save you, but not everyone can be saved. I know that now! And I will not let you win. I'll defeat you myself. I'm not your equal. I've become darkened. Maybe if you can find Aqua…"

A moment. That's all it took for me to lean over her and draw the X-Blade. How happy I was to point it at her throat with no resistance from Sora! I had plans for her, sure. But if she dared talk about _that_ girl… "I do owe a lot to Aqua. And since it's she that gave you your disgusting Keyblade, and I bested her, I can tell you you'll never see the damned thing again."

I was planning many heinous things to do to the girl for her slipup; I wasn't paying attention as well as I should. She punched me square in the jaw. As I felt a couple of my teeth break, I made sure to spit it all out in her face. She was not thwarted. "You need me for someth-"

"As a plaything, puppet. And you dare assault your beloved's-"

"Don't give me unnecessary flattery, Vanitas. If you had acquired the full power of the X-Blade, you wouldn't be here. You would have summoned Kingdom Hearts, claimed it in the name of Master Xehanort, and you would have scurried back to him like a good little henchman."

"Shut up." My hands were twitching. The words were hitting home, and even I couldn't be held responsible for what I did next.

The girl stupidly ignored me. "It was incomplete before, and it's incomplete now. That's what you really need Naminé for, isn't it? You need the element of Nothing, too. But you don't know how to add it. You're keeping me around so if you mess up with Naminé, you can try to re-extract my heart and create another special Nobody."

"I said, shut up!" Punching in her skull rather roughly, I was rewarded with her sudden gasp of pain, but even that didn't stop me. Dragging her by her feet to the accursed statue she'd been thrown against just moments before, I pushed her against it. As her body was flush against mine, she gaped in shock as my member pressed against her stomach.

I had come to know her reactions, but she did something I didn't expect. Her eyes met mine and in that moment, I could see all that Sora did. Pain, determination, strength, weakness… she had been through so much. Had had every reason to give up, but she didn't. She became something strong and powerful because the worlds needed her to. The worlds needed her protection. "No," she lamented with a shake of her head, and her hands to my heart. She seemed to be reading my mind… "Sora needed me and I did all I had to for him. When you care about someone… you put their feelings first. And if you're willing to sacrifice Naminé, you know nothing of love."

As if agreeing to her sentiment, the sky around the Olympus Coliseum changed. It took on a purple hue and became reasonably darker. Such things usually only happened if there was a very serious tournament or Hades was meddling, but the Coliseum was devoid of its heroes. They'd all been forced to join the resistance, so…

The wind wrapped Kairi's long hair around her face, and she took on a serene look. As her eyes closed in the chilly air, it was easy to imagine she was listening to the wind itself. Was it possible it could whisper advice to her? Xion had been much the same when she'd aimed to help Sora in that awful Datascape.

Kairi began stepping away from me, but she couldn't get much closer to the golden stone behind her. She was pretty much climbing up it backwards. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right. I couldn't kill her, but she would surely break her own neck this way. Stepping away from the girl, I willed my mind to return to my true goal. Master Xehanort… he would surely be enraged that I had yet to return to him.

Kairi, however, didn't seem keen to let me go free after everything. She opened her eyes and glared at me. "You can't leave now. I'm too weak and might die. That would go all against you plans, wouldn't it? But it seems that everything," here she gestured to the ominous sky, "seems to want to want you to fail. Everything will go against your plans, Vanitas."

Even in the midst of the possible end of the world, Kairi was an optimist. Her words were so sickly sweet that they were probably giving me cavities. Master Xehanort would be angered if I sacrificed the key to our plans. But what could she expect from me? My Darkness would only hurt her more. "You want your Keyblade back." It wasn't a question so much as a statement of fact.

Kairi's smile was arrogant, and if I didn't smile so similarly, I probably would have sought to wipe the smug look from her face. "But of course. If you really aim to use Naminé's newly acquired heart in your plans, she will need to use a Keyblade."

She was heading away from me now. But she wasn't going anywhere near the world exit. No, she was pressing an armor plate on her necklace.

It was too good to be true! As her entire body was covered with a white armor, I couldn't deny that fate was indeed a fickle thing. She would have Naminé's color ordaining her. Suddenly the treacherous conditions outside didn't seem too bad. Kairi could lighten anything she set her mind to. But I'd cast her happiness aside many times before. "Someone learned to use armor and Gliders, eh? Well, who am I to stand between you and your instrument?"

And with that, I summoned the girly Destiny's Embrace to her and she caught it like a seasoned pro.

"I've always had the ability, but just now am I allowing myself to use my full potential." Any respect I'd felt for Kairi instantly went out the window. She was exactly the same as she'd been from the beginning. Modest, self-conscious, afraid of her potential… "If I have all this power there's no reason I should let you get away with all you've done!"

The way her voice went up at the last bit was a clear enough clue that she was preparing to attack me. She didn't disappoint. Rain consisted of energy fell on me from her Keyblade's tip. I didn't have time to prepare and pain laced up me in a way that I'd never known before. Not even the anomaly that was Aqua had done anything like…

I didn't have time to gather my thoughts much after that. She had jumped atop her newly created Keyblade Glider—a Glider that was much like rocket skis—and was assaulting me with her other Keyblade (Naminé's Keyblade). Now that Sora would be gone forever, it couldn't take on the appearance of Kingdom Key. Instead, it resembled one of Naminé's blank drawing papers. I didn't like the way it could create aliments around me.

Fine, two could play this game. Summoning the X-Blade, it too split up into more than one Keyblade. Quite a number, actually. I rode atop them the way I had once done so in the cursed Keyblade Graveyard. Part of the X-Blade still in my hand, I faked left, and nailed Kairi roughly in her right side.

"Sora, why would you do that to Kairi? She's not a boy. You shouldn't spar with her that way."

_The loser Sora had looked at Kairi's side regretfully, but he couldn't deny the truth. "But Kairi can handle anything. More than even she knows."_

What was that? Those memories should have been closed off from me completely. It was the added benefit of Sora's sacrifice. Him being stuck in his own memories, kept me from being able to experience the memories myself.

My distracted state kept me from realizing that Kairi was diving towards my head, and her right hand (that had released Naminé's Keyblade) was holding a ball of Light, but something happened that neither of us were expecting. The Light was dimming. As it went out completely, more of Kairi's false strength was zapped away. She skidded to the ground; her Keyblade momentarily disappeared from her hand. Her knees were bloody as her armor disappeared; sand swirled around her in a choking manner.

I, emulating, Kairi's earlier move. Didn't miss my mark the way she did. The Darkness hit her square in the heart and she let out a piercing scream. It rose several octaves, and went on for minutes at a time. No… the memory of hers did that.

"_Riku, what do you mean that Sora is dead?" The news had come as a surprise to Kairi. She'd been so pleased to see Riku appear on the island she'd been waiting on for months._

"_He's become a monster, Kairi. I'll kill him myself. He's destroying the worlds and he doesn't even know us."_

"_He'll know me!" Kairi's scream at the end of this sentence was quite like the one I'd just heard, but not quite._

"_He doesn't, Iri. He's replaced you."_

_As Kairi sobbed, cried, and denied the truth… she remained resolute in her beliefs. The Keyblade flashed in and out of her hand. As she looked at it, she promised herself that she'd become the world's new savior. Anything to protect Sora._

If I thought that Kairi would be pleased by what I'd just seen, I was sadly mistaken. She was glaring at me with a look I would have not her thought capable of. Suddenly, it made sense why she didn't have the power to serve the Light anymore. She too had become too close to the Darkness. "Naminé truly is the better you."

"Go to _hell_!" Kairi had summoned Destiny's Embrace to her arm again, but her arm was bleeding from the use. Even so, she wasn't giving up. In her fury, she was stronger than I'd ever seen her before. If she hadn't been in such pain, I imagined she probably would have landed quite a number of lethal hits. "That memory's mine! My most important one. You had no right to _see_ it!"

I dodged a particularly close hit to the side of my head, and kicked Kairi's legs out from under her again. She was sobbing so much; I wondered how she could see at all. She spat sand at my face, but I paid it no mind. "You've been fighting insanity for a long time, Kairi. Don't you long for it? Don't you aim to not have to know what you do? I can take your feelings away, Kairi."

I was leaning over her now. And despite knowing this would probably help our plan in many ways if Kairi lost the ways to her heart, I couldn't deny that I just wanted to help her. The girl was too pathetic to let live the way she was. If she wasn't still so disgustingly Light, I would have suggested suicide.

It was quite disconcerting to care for this girl at all. Maybe if I offered… "I could kill you, you know. I'm sure the plan will work with Naminé. Then you won't even have to face the guilt of giving up."

Kairi laughed at this. I was left annoyingly wondering if the stupid Sora had once said something similar. Apparently he had. Pulling on my hair so that I was even more level with her, she kissed me in the dimming twilight. It was not love. It was not passion. It was just unadulterated need. She needed Sora. I needed…

"_You_ go to hell, bitch!" I punched her in the eye and had the satisfaction of seeing her left eye, which would undoubtedly result in a black eye, welling up even more. How dare she attempt to rouse Sora, but to go even further than that…

"Our hearts are connected, Vanitas. One of us will always be _fighting you_!"

And she was doing just that as I gathered her in my arms. With her hands held in my own, and resting on her knees, she truly was in a helpless state. She tried to lean forward despite my grip. Looking for anything that might aid her. She picked up some rubble in her mouth, but I made sure it'd be no use to her. "Go ahead and try to attack me with that pebble. If you choke on it and die, it makes no difference to me. But I'd much rather slit that beautiful throat of yours. I've been wanting to for so very long, you see."

As it was, that was a very stupid thing to say. I had been in Sora's control at that time. I was pretty much asking for memories of the two of them to assault me. I would not be a puppet when I myself was the puppet master.

Kairi used my momentarily distraction against me cleverly. Banging her head against my own face, and breaking my nose, my grip on her slackened. She spit the piece of the stupid statue out, and it landed painfully on my head. As my arms were loose, she crawled away from me. Despite the blood, I could see her standing before me with the Keyblade raised. "You won't hurt your beloved, pet. You might as well just return to the circle of my arms. I guarantee I won't let you escape them _ever _again. And your power over the Light and Keyblade is wavering."

"Why did you have to take his hair and eyes now, too?"

I smiled a broken teeth smile. She was cracking. Perhaps I'd cracked her head open more thoroughly than I'd thought.

Then again, I'd been gravely mistaken about her from time to time. Standing up, so her knees scarred even more. She met me with a vacant expression. To my great surprise, a bit of Darkness was crackling around her. Now this was something I could deal with. "Well, well, well… Riku's been teaching you Dark spells in your alone time, has he?" I asked as I began sensually walking towards her. Pain truly was the best aphrodisiac.

"Actually," Kairi said with her eyes now glued to her feet, "when you're left because you're a burden, you'd be surprised how that changes things."

**I had hurt her, had changed her, by leaving her at Kingdom Hearts?**

"Let me tell you, Kairi. Seeing you broken upon returning home might have been Sora's worst fear, but it's not mine." In fact, the image Sora had always entertained himself with to persevere was playing out in my head. The young, boyish looking Kairi waving and calling Sora's name with a wide smile on her face… I'd have to be sure to remove such small pleasures from Sora's life.

"It's a lose-lose, Vanitas. Using Darkness harms me, but it _will_ harm you, too. You can't handle Sora's force within you. Your plans will amount to nothing!"

I sped over to Kairi before she was even done with her misplaced offer. "Too slow." I said against her ear. "You won't win a fight with me. And as you're useless and an annoying pest…"

"You're wrong," the Darkness she was channeling was swirling around her like a snake now. "All I care about is Sora. I want to be the balance you tricked him into searching for, maybe if I'd known what I do now in that memory I saw…it's no matter. I will have to resort to what our predecessors have done up to now. If I defeat you, I can free Sora from your reign!"

As she summoned Destiny's Embrace in her hands, the sand once again began swirling around us, but now the entire Coliseum was taking on a dark violet/black hue. Even the sand was affected. It looked more like hot coal than it did sand. It was like what Xehanort had done to what was left of the Destiny Islands after it lost its heart. All too soon, what she was planning became distinctly obvious. "You're taking this world's heart are you? What happened to the goody Princess of Heart who was stationed to protect the worlds' Light?"

Destiny's Embrace could hardly be classified as that anymore. It was black and the once flowers looked more like molten lava of Darkness. That was the problem of a Princess of Heart being overcome. Their own heart was obliterated in the process. And they became part of the Darkness itself. Or so I'd been told…

The Darkness was encasing Kairi in an armor now. Where as her Light armor had been reminiscent of _hers_, it now had more of a samurai look to it. It was a lot looser on her skin. And her horned helmet did little well to protect her face. Kairi's hair had always been dark. Only now did I realize that very well might have been foreshadowing in itself. "Can you even feel anymore, dear heart?" I asked her scathingly. "Or did your 'insanity' take that liberty long ago, too? Have you been feigning for Sora all this time?"

As more tears streamed down her face, I knew that I'd hit the jackpot. How could a emotionless child cry so much? "The worlds have punished me. That much is true. But even they can't keep me from loving Sora. Maybe I can't as much as I was once able, but…"

The most annoying thing about this encounter—besides the cold Darkened air that was harming _me_ because of the Light within it—was that if things were different, this was a Kairi I could have loved and respected. She really had become much more than Naminé. "So now you don't care what you do to the worlds in revenge? Where were you when Xehanort needed assistance, traitor?"

Kairi smirked. And for a moment, I entertained the idea of kissing those luscious lips. I had before, of course, but not when she was nearing as evil as I was. Her lavender lips were ingrained quite well in Sora's memory. "I won't harm the worlds like you do. But if I can obtain them before you, you'll have nothing to live for. You'll give up your claim on Sora."

Yes, Kairi was far cleverer than I had ever given her credit. It was gratifying to realize it probably had a lot to do with me. "I wonder," I said as I stepped closer to her and held her chin in my hand, "who will win this property dispute first? Us with the flawed key: The X-Blade, or you? You are, after all, the worlds' traitor. I'm inclined to believe that it will be me." So much for the idea that the worlds were out to get me. Kairi's failure would easily trump any of my misgivings.

Kairi stepped away from me then, and I was a bit disappointed. For once I was enjoying just touching her without a malicious thought in my head. She pointed her new Keyblade at me, and I knew all too well how this would end. "You know what this means then," Somehow, even in suffering loss of certain feelings, she still sounded broken. "You won't let me leave because I've become a threat to you. And I am determined to find a way to save Sora. If I have to forcefully remove his skin from yours, I will. I'll take as many options as I can find."

Not needing to be told twice, I drew the X-Blade and my own, old, second-skin-armor covered me. "Such Darkness," I said with an approving smile, "I wonder, would your boy-toy love you if he knew the truth? He'd thought you'd told him everything. I venture this may be an even bigger lie than Naminé told. Your view of right and wrong has changed. You can't even love him the same."

Once again, that was not the right thing to say. Kairi sent a powerful Dark Firaga hurtling towards me. I absorbed it just fine, but there was infuriatingly, still many bits of Light in it. And _that _stung. "I have not lost my ideas of right and wrong! I'm just less blinded now. I can switch between the two with ease! And Sora…"

I blocked a sloppy uppercut of hers and kissed her on the cheek. It served to infuriate her even further. And after dodging some well-aimed swipes to my feet (one of which that temporarily broke my ankle), I continued my too fun teasing of her. "You're like a Transformer, are you? Except fate _is_ punishing you. You were one who was never supposed to waver. Now your natural powers are wavering, too. And fate is allowing me to win. I imagine my plight is less of a stab in the back then yours."

And then I saw something that I never had before. Her hands were releasing an incalculable amount of Darkness at the ground. But Darkness was more like ice. How on Earth was it allowing her to levitate? It was like those rocket shoes she'd had all over again.

She came at me at once. But when she got close enough, she brandished her Keyblade in her newly freed hand and it too took on the same icy/fiery substance as it aimed for my neck. I ducked quite easily. Speed had always been my forte. But she came around again. I just barely escaped the new attack. I had to dive hand under foot into a roll to do just that.

When I shook off the spare bursts of energy that had made contact with me, I noted Kairi had fallen to the ground. An almost Yin Yang sign had been painted beneath her, and her armor had departed. Both Light and Darkness was leaving her, but it was the Light that caused her to bleed in rivulets. It was probably coming from no place but her heart.

At once, I remembered the fantasy Sora had had. The one that I had conjured up of Kairi bleeding to her death. Would that happen now? Was fate hating her that much? But of course, why else would her element be aiming to kill her now? She had betrayed the very person she was.

I stalked over to the girl and straddled her. She was too weak to do anything about it, but even so, she kept a look of strength and triumph. "What was even the point in this?" I asked as I dabbed some of her own blood on my fingers to spread on her lips. I simply could not deny the urge to kiss her any longer. If only a photographer was nearby to take a picture of this beautiful scene of death, betrayal, and blood. Above all else blood. And something similar to Stockholm syndrome on her part; that had always been there. "Your problem was always never noting your strength, but now it seems you've overestimated what you're capable of. Did you think this would give you the slightest chance of seeing Sora again?"

"For the longest time," Kairi said as she turned to face me with tears fogging her eyes; her voice was hoarse, "Sora was tricked by Naminé to believe things that weren't truths. He also tricked himself in ignoring his doubts. He staked everything when he remembered those memories. He did what was right. I'll be damned if I let what should have been drown him. If I let _you_ drown him!"

As it was, it was neither me nor Sora that was drowned. Coming from strange stripes on her robe, just above her heart, was a glowing orange light. Orange… it shone Light, but even the fire of Hells would show this color. Orange was truly something else. Was Kairi something else?

And then like flames engulfing the entire world Kairi had claimed, the Light spread out and blinded my eyes. Kairi, however, didn't seem to care much about what was happening. Her face was impassive. And then she was gone.

She would not be a phoenix rising from the flames. I'd be sure of that. _Well done, Riku_.

I thought scathingly. Only that anomaly of balance could take care of the severely unbalanced Kairi.

It would all be over soon. Master Xehanort was waiting.

Sora, deep in the recesses of my heart, cried for his Princess. What the reason was, I do not know.

**Author's Note: And we're back to mysterious things. Sorry guys. I know you're confused, but it's no fun to have everything obvious, is it?**

**Yeah… I had trouble with this chapter. It was hard writing as Vanitas when I'd come to such a good place with Sora. Actually, considering what the chapters demand, Kairi's PoV might be showing up, too.**

**Anyway, please review. And thank you to all my reviewers, favoriters, and alerters. Especially my reviewers. I can't thank you enough for being concerned about me, but I think I'm okay now, so…**

**Actually, I'm really happy! I got to finally meet my dear friend, once beata, my mentor… Laura! Last weekend couldn't have been better. Gosh, I love that girl! Check out her fanfictions. She's Qwi-Xux on here. And read her and Faith's published book: Restoration Book 1: Awakenings. **

**By the way, is anyone else disappointed that 3D (or BbSV2 and the anniversary surprise) wasn't seen at E3?**

**Whoa. Fanfiction's changed. What's going on?**

**And I'm sorry if there are mistakes. For some reason I think there are going to be. I've checked over the chapter, but it's so long! I might have missed things… **


	12. Engulf

**Engulf **

**(Kairi's Point of View)**

"Kairi."

I knew that the voice was that of Riku's, but I was unable to focus on it. No, the only thing I could focus on was that something was running down me in torrents. It had become cold, but I had the distinct feeling that it had once been warm. If I opened my eyes just a sliver, I knew I'd be able to see that orange light. Why, then, did I have the inkling that I should be seeing crimson?

"Kairi, please hold on." And his voice was so much that I did just that. I held onto consciousness and I held onto him. It felt a betrayal to do so, but he just seemed so _warm_. I, on the other hand, simply felt cold. It was something I'd always hated about the Darkness.

The Darkness! Like a once blind man seeing the light for the first time, I recalled too clearly what had happened. I'd embraced the Darkness and now I was dying for it.

What a stupid thing to die for.

Maybe, just maybe, I should have let Sora kill me in the beginning. Maybe even then the pain would have been too much for him. Maybe we could have been together in death; now it seemed we wouldn't be together at all.

And suddenly, I found I _didn't_ want to live anymore. Any chance we had at winning this war had clearly died with Sora's freedom. Sora might as well have died with his imprisonment. And a world without Sora wasn't a world worth living in at all. I'd learned that the hard way.

I'd given up so much; I'd been through so much. Why did the multiverse continue to ask more of me? Hadn't I suffered enough? Everything was so hopeless now. At least before I'd had the disillusion that everything would be fine if Sora remembered me. Now…

Now I had nothing. And it was this thought that made me almost embrace a different kind of darkness. I almost embraced death. But something pulled me back. It was the same something and someone that always seemed to do so. "Please don't die, Kai. I love you too much."

"I love you too, Riku." But the knowledge that it wasn't the way he deserved… it made me want to die from guilt. Riku had been through just as much as I had. Probably even more. I didn't deserve him, but somehow I needed him. He needed me, too.

Us two fucked up friends (that used to be three) needed each other. So I didn't die. I learned to live with even more pain and Riku was there with me every step of the way.

…

I don't know how much later it was that Aerith and Zack both put their arms around me, but I wasn't really coherent before that point. I had chosen to live, but with it had come numbness. An unreality. I felt… detached from everything. Maybe it was that I had put so much of my faith and feelings into Sora that I had nothing left to give. Or maybe I just didn't want to be hurt anymore.

But Zack and Aerith, they gave me the bit of love I'd needed. The fix that I had become so accustomed to and afraid of in this dark world.

Aerith was the first to let go of me, but I felt as though Zack had relinquished me first. Zack was amazing at giving bear hugs for comfort, but Aerith and I went way back. Ever since I'd first gone to Traverse Town, she'd become my surrogate mother. There were times when I fancied she was stronger than Ashe, Lightning, and Tifa alike. She may not have been able to fight, but she kept everyone's hope and moral up. Sometimes I felt as though she suffered the most out of all of us.

The first real conversation we'd ever had had been a week after Riku had brought me from the Destiny Islands. I'd taken my rage and betrayal for what had happened at Castle Oblivion into my training. If I'd expected anyone to give me tips on my fighting, I wouldn't have guessed Aerith.

I had been practicing into the late hours of the night. Even though I hadn't been practicing as quietly as I should have, I hadn't expected the exhausted resistance to wake up. Aerith, however, had crept lithely into the dojo I was practicing in, and didn't say a word. Instead she sat by the door and watched me by the candle she'd brought.

I had expected her to reprimand me for letting my nervousness get the better of my attacks. Instead, she had something else to say. "Kairi, I can guess what you must be feeling, but fighting won't take the pain away."

Her eyes had glossed over as she'd said that. To this day, I know I should have asked her what was troubling her, but I didn't really know her then. And now I didn't know how to bring it up. She'd regained her composure at once, and had even smiled at me when she said, "But if you're determined to fight, your anger will only serve your enemies. Your moves will become sloppy and you won't think straight. What you need to learn is how to remain focused and emotionless when you fight. The battlefield isn't the place for emotions. Maybe if everyone understood that, we wouldn't have so many pointless wars."

As she spoke, I'd been considering what she said. But it wasn't the truth of her words that made me run and clutch her. I didn't cry then. Not after she had told me to keep my feelings in check, but she must have known I was suppressing things. "You don't have to hide things with me, Kairi. If I had my way, you wouldn't be going through this at all. You're much too young and _good_."

It was the way she put the empathies on good that we ended up thinking of Sora. I think our friendship really blossomed because he meant so much to us both. "You mustn't blame him, Kairi. Even the best of us fall. And the way Riku explains it, he thinks this Naminé _is_ you."

I did cry at that. And Aerith comforted me in a way my own mother couldn't anymore. For her safety, I knew I had to keep her in the dark. But maybe what Aerith really comforted me for that night, was the knowledge that I could do something so atrocious. Naminé _was_ me, and yet…

"You okay, kitty?" Zack's silly question instantly brought me back to the present. He was smiling at me, and I couldn't help but throw myself out of the purple folding chair, and over the long gray table, into his arms. Zack and Aerith really were the perfect couple. They didn't always see eye to eye, but when it counted most, you could tell they were soul mates.

Zack had also taken an interest in my training, and had helped as much as he could. He must have seen something of himself in me because he began calling me "kitty", but it was Aerith that had to explain that his superiors had called him "Zack the puppy". The fact that Zack could pass on something so meaningful to me still astounded me. It was probably for that reason that I always turned to him when Riku was away.

In response to Zack's question I said, "I'm better than ever." Maybe, just maybe, I'd gotten too close to the Sora situation. Maybe if I took a step back and evaluated everythi-

"Glad to hear it, sweetie." Ruffling my hair slightly, he took a seat opposite of me as we awaited the King.

The room we were in was long and rectangular, but had a low ceiling. It made the room almost trapezoid shaped. The room itself consisted of various colors of tan, and bulletins. The way I understood it, this room had once been Hayner, Pence, and Olette's Usual Spot, but they'd offered it up, and Merlin had extended it and remodeled it.

It was our closest outpost to The World That Never was and therefore the most dangerous. That's why we were all here today. We were waiting for something bad to happen.

"Where's Riku?" I asked the fore mentioned Olette when she wasn't ruffling through papers.

At my seemingly innocent question, Olette bit her lip and decided to look anywhere else in particular. "Tricking your body so that it thinks your Darkness is his has put _him_ a bit too close to the Darkness. He thought it best to-"

"He thought it best to not be this close to Xehanort," I said as my self-hatred reached new levels.

I didn't have much time to question Olette anymore as Yen Sid quickly walked in followed by King Mickey. Yen Sid was not pleased. "I still don't think it's a good idea you're here," the Sorcerer said under his breath.

Mickey waved the comment off with the flick of his hand. "But things are awful, Yen Sid! I need to be here now more than ever. Besides, I'm not afraid of rusting my Keyblade a little."

Yen Sid's face showed that he still wasn't sure, but thought best to not press the matter. At once, the briefing room became quiet as people took in His Majesty's appearance.

"Hiya!" The King exclaimed excitedly. Donald, who was caring Jiminy, rolled his eyes as Jiminy did. Goofy, however, echoed Mickey's greeting almost perfectly.

What the King might have said after that was obscured as Balthier followed by a weak looking Riku strolled in. I jumped to my feet at once and knocked over quite a few chairs in my haste to cross the room to him. If I was expecting a warm welcome, I was greatly disappointed. "Not right now, Princess," Balthier said with a pat on my shoulder. He went to the far end of the room and left me gaping at him in shock.

Surely he hadn't been talking to me. He only ever called Ashe that, but further more, why wouldn't Riku want to be around me? "Riku-"

"Save it, Kairi!" He bellowed just as I was about to put a hand to his cheek.

I pulled my hand away as if I'd been burned. My eyes, however, did burn. My eyes welled up with tears that I quickly blinked away. "Is this because of my lack of romantic-"

"Nope. It's because you almost got yourself killed. Riku's still in shock." I turned my attention just in time to see the last straggler. Hope gave me a wide smile as he took the seat catty-corner from me.

"So I take it you convinced Nora that it was okay for you to be here?" I asked with a raised eyebrow and simultaneous wink. As Hope blushed a little at that, I thought it best to downplay my charms. There was no need to give the boy false hope. He already had it bad enough for Lightning.

Before Hope could answer, Aki cleared her throat and fixed me with a particularly searching gaze. I knew what she was implying, but I wasn't exactly ready to begin the end either. Perhaps realizing this, the doctor stood up and began explaining what we'd communicated silently. "We must find Naminé. As Kairi explains it, the memories of Sora's that Vanitas has, could absorb the memory witch and finish off the X-Blade. We might be able to pull some of the memories away, using the link that was established between Sora and Kairi to send some of the memories to _her_, but it would be dangerous. I don't have power over memories." Aki gave me an apologetic look, but I wasn't so eager to oblige her. Maybe people of belief and people of science would never be able to mesh.

Somehow, simply because of Zack and Aerith's reappearance in my life, I felt hopeful. I didn't want everyone to see how hopeless matters very well may be. They would want me to take some kind of action, but… "Just let me meet with Vanitas again. And I'll-"

"He'll seduce you over to the Darkness, Kairi. There's a reason you're not supposed to have Darkness. You're too vulnerable when you try to use it. You don't have it _in_ you to use Darkness." This was Vincent, and I instantly tilted my eyes away from his perceptive gaze.

Once upon a time, when I'd been very much naïve, I'd thought that Vincent had to be the epitome of evil with his crimson eyes. Only now did I realize how much the good Vincent had been through. How much he knew even about me. Maybe that's why I said in retaliation, "Like you didn't give your soul to Lucrecia."

The tension my words created could have been cut with knife. People were quiet and shifting uncomfortably. In my somewhat melancholy state it was easy to imagine they were trying to escape the blood this fight would inevitably cause. Yuffie, of course, was the first to defend her "Vinnie". "Let's keep Vincent's horrific past out of this, Kai. We have enough to worry about."

"Kairi, I believe, has another plan, don't you?" God bless him! Master Yen Sid all too cleverly redirected the conversation to where it should be.

Clearing my throat, I purposefully looked into everyone's eyes—Zidane, Braig, Ansem, Larsa, Daisy…—as I recounted what I'd done. "I could steal the worlds' hearts. I would never do anything malevolent with them, and it'd keep them from the X-Blade's control."

Unsurprisingly, it was Riku who slammed his fist on the table and chipped a large bit of the paint off. "NO!" He was livid as he looked into my eyes. I gulped in realizing that he'd have no problem at all forcing my chin to look at him if needed. "That goes against everything you are, Kairi! You're supposed to protect Kingdom Hearts. Embracing that much Darkness will kill you!"

Riku looked at me scrutinizing and I willed every cell in my body to not betray my desire for death should I lose Sora.

Cid, however, was not privy to our stare off. "How do we know that this isn't what the creep wants, anyway?" The pilot asked as he chewed on the end of a cigarette.

"What do you mean?" The King asked with innocence in both his expression and voice.

"I mean, what if this is how the X-Blade's forged? How sure are we that this Nam is the key?"

The silence that had followed after the King had spoken—and even after Cid had done so again—was not my friend as I indignantly glared at Cid and exclaimed, "Why would I be lying? Of course it's Naminé! Why else would she be missing?"

As it was, I had not been planning to admit that last part. Now everyone _was_ looking at me suspiciously. I heard mutterings of:

"Hiding so we can't find her and Vanitas can?"

"Since when did Naminé get even _more_ important?"

"Why were you hiding this?"

"Kairi, when you say that Naminé's missing, you don't mean from your mind, right?"

This was Penelo. I'd always liked the girl so I tried to keep my expression stable as I turned to face her. "That's exactly what I mean," I said with a heavy heart. "I can't feel her anymore. I think it's because she's gained her own heart through her encounters with Sora, as well as me somewhat losing myself."

"Well this is problematic then," Leon said with his arms crossed over his chest and a stern look on his face. "After all, I'm guessing your sudden ability to dual wield came from her. You can't dual wield anymore so I'm guessing she reclaimed her Keyblade."

"What?" Beatrix exclaimed both outraged and somewhat haughty. "You once said that Keyblade wielders of different elements have to fight to create the X-Blade this mean-"

"Kairi," Auron cut Beatrix off with a level voice, but brewing ferocity, "I thought you were having trouble using your own Keyblade. Maybe Cid's right. Maybe they're tricking you and already forming the X-Blade."

"That's enough, people!" Rikku defended me as she jumped on to the folding chair, but it only folded on her feet. People laughed at her expense, and the room calmed down for the most part.

It was with an appropriate reception that people were able to hear King Mickey's next words. "Actually, I have a plan myself. It's why I had to be here today, but I don't know how much help she'll be of now…"

I could only stare at Mickey in shock. Because surely he had had the same idea I had. It was the only explanation. But he'd gone even further and had brought her here. If the seeds I'd planted the last time I was with Vanitas meant what I thought they did, love would strike to maim once again.

The King met my anxious eyes, and he was still doing so when he said, "Aqua isn't in the best shape to-"

"Aqua's in position to speak for_ herself_."

A shock of blue hair entered the room and everyone could only stare. This was the Aqua the King had expended every available resource into finding, the legendary Keyblade Master, the girl that Vanitas actually _loved_.

After twirling a chair on one of its legs, she sat down on it and gave me a small smile, but I didn't see much of her face after that. She had buried her face into her arms. "Sorry," she began speaking again in a muffled voice, "but I'm not exactly in the mood to be that boy's damsel in distress again. May I remind you all that it's because of him that Ven is, is… dead."

The last part was whispered and my sympathies automatically went out to her. How would it feel to finally be rescued, but at the cost of living while a dear friend was dead? "Aqua," I tired; praying that my one memory of her and what I knew from Vanitas would be enough, "If you succeed, Vanitas will be gone forever. And the worlds will be safe again. As a Keyblade Master…"

"Aqua knows full well what the role of a Keyblade Master is, Kairi." This was Yen Sid again. Right now he was fixing me with as stern a gaze I'd never seen from him. "But I believe that it was her duties as a Keyblade Master that took so much from her. It's understandable that she doesn't want to be privy to such a responsibility anymore."

And as I looked at Aqua's slumped posture, it was clear how sorrowful she was. And suddenly, I couldn't force her to do what I'd planned. I couldn't force her to do anything. Who was I to ask more of this poor woman?

"Thank you," I said whilst I choked on tears that I didn't fight, "Thank you for trying to save us so many years ago. Thanks for giving me the power to use the Keyblade. If it weren't for that…"

If it weren't for that, things might have become even worse than they already were. If I hadn't been able to fight against my Sora, and Vanitas, the world would have surely been lost.

But wouldn't that have been worth it; if I'd just had one more moment with Sora?

Maybe… maybe Aqua's sadness had nothing to do with all she'd been through, but what she'd lost with Terra. Hadn't I lost Sora through fickle fate? What would happen if I just ignored the call of the world?

Would Sora have been as happy as he had learned to be?

With that thought, I could no longer stay at the dreaded meeting. Bolting from my seat, I pushed away many of my fellow members and an assortment of other things.

I don't know what I was expecting to find outside the Usual Spot. After all, as Riku had said, Sora had been in a fake Twilight Town in Castle Oblivion. Vexen had tried to warn Sora about pursuing Naminé and he didn't listen.

Honestly, I should have hated everything that this wretched town was. But I found that I couldn't.

Sora was too good. And I had tried to overcompensate for something that I didn't have.

Was I being punished the same way Aqua had been? Had I tried to fix something that didn't need fixing? Did I have the right to fix anything to begin with? I'd cried for myself many times now, but had I ever cried for Sora?

If I wasn't being biased, I could easily empathize with Sora's situation. How was he supposed to have chosen me when he thought Naminé was me? Even when he'd learned the truth… he'd been too good to leave her to her fate. If the situation were reversed, wouldn't I have done the same for Riku or someone else? Hadn't I tried to move on with Riku?

If only I had left things alone!

The night Sora and I had made love, I'd thought we'd lost too much to be together. I'd thought that he did belong with the frailer me. So had I sinned in trying to win him again? Or was it a greater sin to have ever doubted him in the first place?

"Kairi, please come back in. I think Aqua saw something in you; she's ready to negotiate!"

"Serah?" I asked as I blinked back dust from my eyes.

The pink haired girl smiled at my sudden coherence. With a jolt, I realized I must have resorted to numbness. Nothing was as bad as I had been when I'd first joined the resistance, but… "How long have I been out here?" I asked with a catch in my voice. I really was turning into Sora! Spacing out all the time…

That thought right there, of happier times, was enough to make me go numb again. Serah must have seen something in my eyes. Grabbing onto my forearms, she shook me, and began dragging me away from the scorching heat.

It was hot? How had I only noticed this now? It was always warm in Twilight Town, but only now did I realize that I was sweating profusely and I might have had a heat stroke, and I wouldn't have noticed.

Maybe it was because unlike Sora, I hated the warmth. It reminded me of our perfect Destiny Islands and that was more painful than all the stab wounds in the world. We'd had paradise, but we'd messed it up.

No, I messed it up. Sora had had no idea what was going on with him. He hadn't known about Vanitas. I'd kept him in the dark to protect him; add it to the list of my mistakes.

Serah paused in her manhandling of me just outside the way of the disputing people. "You _will_ be alright again, Kairi. If I could save Snow, I wouldn't waste the opportunity. I know you won't give up on Sora. You'll succeed where I failed because you're stronger than me."

In that moment, I hated myself for something new: I was so incoherent, that I was neglecting my new family! Why hadn't I tried to become closer to this girl? We'd both lost loved ones, but more than that, we were so much alike!

We both had learned to fight only after joining the resistance; we both had had people that coddled us. "Serah," I said, as I pulled her into my arms, "if I ever become this selfish again, feel free to hit me. And if Light ever gives you a rough time about Snow again…"

And for the first time since _I'd _known her, Serah's face spread in a wide grin, and she left me alone. But I didn't need her to. I'd come to my senses again. I knew what must be done, but I knew that Riku would never forgive me…

"Kairi!" Aqua exclaimed as I walked into the room again. "I'm sorry, Kai. I can help you if you want! I'm just afraid I may lose my bearings and kill your Sora, but…"

I shook my head and she instantly became silent, but so did the rest of the room. Everything was weighing on what I'd say next. Either we'd be saved or we'd be damned. Either we'd have peace in our ranks or there'd be a discord.

"No, Aqua. You're right. I can't ask that of you or Sora. But I have to act on my own now. I can't even wonder what'll become of me," I noted Riku was about to retort to that statement; I made sure to talk over him, "I have to find Naminé. It's high time she return to me. If I hadn't lost that timid part of me to begin with, this never would have happened. Without Naminé there's no X-Blade. Without these love triangles there is no damnation."

You were cheers around me, and everyone was relieved for the most part. I purposefully didn't look at Riku. If him balancing my Darkness was effecting him, it would only take him a moment to realize what would happen if I met the resisting Naminé. In the end, I'd have to believe in her. But would it be enough?

I looked at all the smiling faces around me. How many of them had come to love me? How many of them wanted me to be their Princess? How many of them did _I_ love? How many of them would I have to lose?

How many of them would I lose if they knew my plan, anyway? As it was, Vincent was right. I had been seduced by the darkness. And once again, I found myself empathizing with Sora.

Was this how he had felt when he had gone to face Xehanort? When he had told Naminé to destroy his heart? I guess I'd find out soon enough.

As I pulled out a duplicate lucky charm I'd made (I couldn't bare the thought of Vanitas having the only one), I could only look at it longingly. Maybe… just maybe, Sora was looking at this in whatever memory he was stuck in.

I blinked away my tears, but then I willed them to stop falling. I'd never cry for my situation again. I'd done enough crying already. Sora would be revived, but it would come with a cost.

At the worst possible time, my connection into Naminé's mind returned.

**Author's Note: I am SO sorry! I know it's been forever since I updated! But I was sick for more than a week, I've been video editing, I've been using DeviantArt, I've become obsessed with **_**Harry Potter**_**, have been posting older stories… **

**Can you understand why I haven't updated until now? I've been so busy! LOL. **

**Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter. There's a lot of foreshadowing in this chapter, but I shan't tell you what. I also like that we have a clearer version of Kairi now. **

**Yay for **_**Final Fantasy**_** cameos! **

**By the way, I totally added ZaErith for you, ****janus-juan. I don't know if you're still reading, but if you are, I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for requesting them! It worked really well. I'm just sorry it took so long to include them. LOL.**

**Next chapter will probably be Vanitas POV again.**

**REVIEW! Please and thank you;)**

**-Shan**

**P.S. If you want to watch my videos or see my pictures, I'm MovingOnMjrn on YouTube, and DenizenofTwilight on DeviantArt. **


	13. Incinerate

**Incinerate**

**(Vanitas' Point of View)**

The sky was painted a rose color. As it cascaded into the clouds it turned an egg yolk yellow. The clouds themselves were a fluffy light purple. It twas the fate of being in the Keyblade Graveyard. It was always just turning dusk. As the sunset, the world was painted in Easter-ish colors.

I personally found the whole display despicable. It was with much needed hate that I started casting Thundaga spells at the hideous sky. I was pretty much daring the pretty colors to tempt my ire. I was beckoning storm clouds to descend, but they never came.

And I continued to sweat never-ending as I cast spell after spell in the burning heat. I didn't care. I had gone too long without destroying things.

Speaking of destruction, Sora was much more strong willed than I'd imagined. Apparently the memories he was denied weren't enough anymore. Even through his depression he was able to fight for more. It was just so fortunate that _I_ had an iron clad will. He would never see the light of day again. Smirking evilly to myself, I raised the X-Blade and cast a Waterga spell.

Even I was able to enjoy the tiny little droplets. They fought to bring life to this lifeless land, and I reveled in their failure. _That's as close to your water as you'll ever get, Sora_.

Alas, I didn't get much time to torment the poor soul. With a whooshing noise a Corridor of Darkness opened, and Master Xehanort thought it finally appropriate to grace me with his presence. "Nice timing, old man," I said snidely, "I see this younger body is treating you _so _very well. And yet you were complaining about _me_ being late."

I didn't have to be facing Xehanort to sense his eye roll. I also knew that as he breathed in the musty air close to me, that he was preparing to berate me. What I wasn't expecting, however, was the young voice that did the berating. "If you weren't such an insolent child, maybe I'd have more respect for you. And maybe you wouldn't be waiting until now to see our plans come into fruition."

He had definitely crossed a line. I wasn't a fool. I knew how he had used me in my last life. I knew how he was planning to use me still. How dare he blame my hellish fate on _me_?

Whipping around, I brought the X-Blade to the not so old man's throat and smirked at his look of shock. "I wouldn't make such accusations if I were you. You got bested by Terra last time. In fact, I reckon that he's still calling some of the shots. I, however, have the X-Blade and could do this without you. I'm just itching to do something with it. It's been so useless as to date."

I was met not with fear, anger, or shock as I was expecting. Instead, Xehanort fixed me with a calculating look that had set to unnerve me fourteen years ago. Somehow, it was even more fearsome coming from the younger body. "I wouldn't underestimate Sora if I were you, Vanitas. After all, you could say much of what I was doing was to complete him. And with his and Ventus' connection, I created the perfect bearer for the X-Blade."

Though he didn't say it, I could hear the threat in his voice. The idea that he could easily use Sora to manifest the X-Blade and say bye bye to me. It was definitely grudgingly that I let him go, but I very much valued being able to move my own limbs again.

Master Xehanort strolled forward without even a fault in his step. It was as if my proposition had even been a part of his plan. He truly was a scary individual. "Where have you been, _Master_?" I asked as I moved to stand on his right side like the perfect lap dog.

Master Xehanort regarded me for a second before breaking into a fitful case of laughter. I was beginning to wonder if getting him a younger body had been a good idea at all (had I said a stupid, "that's what _she_ said," sentence or something?), but he regained himself right before I could utter a syllable. And what he said did take me by surprise. "It's quite amusing how much girls have come to mean in this plan, isn't it? Aqua foiled our first plans. But it was thinking of her that allowed you to create the perfect union with Naminé. In fact, we need Naminé still. And of course none of this would have been possible without Kairi. Her union with Sora and her leading to the creation of Naminé…"

Master Xehanort paused here. And looked at me with a peculiar humor twinkling in his golden eyes. Putting a hand to my shoulder, he acted as though he meant to reassure me, but I felt the tension in his grip. He was disappointed that I didn't know what he was trying to say. Knowing it better to stay on his good side, I grabbed onto the only thing I could think of. "Xion has also interfered like Aqua did. Her and her Roxas both. She's quite crafty for a dead person." In fact, I was willing to bet that she was using what was left of her existence to anchor Sora. She had once been made of his memories, of course. I wouldn't tell Xehanort this fact, however.

By any means, what I had said seemed to appease him. He laughed a little bit and his grip slackened. "True, Vanitas. Very true. It is amazing what an uproar these young women have caused. In my day women weren't nearly so strong. In fact, I don't know if our Master or any Master before him had ever created a girl Keyblade wielder before Eraqus did. All four of those girls have had Keyblades, and they've even become the key to our plans.

"Where I was, dear Apprentice," the Master said as he turned me back around to face the Corridor of Darkness he'd created, "was fetching the elusive Naminé." At his words, the corridor opened completely, and spilled a tied and gagged Nami out, before disappearing all together.

She fell to the ground rather roughly, and as the sand rubbed against her skin wrongly, her arms, legs, and shoulders were marred with red marks.

My face broke out into a large smile. For the first time since Xehanort had begun belittling me, I was _insanely_ happy. Master Xehanort must have noticed the lust in my eyes for he began apologizing profusely. "I'm sorry for not bringing her a moment sooner, but I thought a proper introduction would be nice. And I did a fair job if I daresay so myself."

"No, no, no," I warded off the Master's "guilty" conscience, but in reality I was only half listening. "It's all water under the bridge. She's here now, isn't she? Hello, Naminé."

At the last, I made sure to fix her with my most evil stare. I was a bit irked that she didn't even stiffen, but I wasn't one to show such things. Crossing over to her, and having the pleasure of hearing the ground crunch in time with Naminé's increasing heartbeat, I wrapped her into my arms. She tried to squirm away, but it didn't affect me. I kissed her head, and began whispering to her as if a lover. "I'm afraid you've given me a few mixed signals, dear. I mean making love to me, and yet ignoring me when I call, not very nice."

I leaned down over her head and meant to look at her face. I was too pleased when I saw that she had begun crying. No, it had never been me she'd loved. "Or are you just a slut, my Nami? After all, you let Marluxia fuck you all so you could trick Sora into staying with you. Personally, I don't know how you put up with all those things. And for nothing too! Did you really forget that I was controlling Sora? That the love he felt for you was nothing but my desire and the spell you put over him?"

"Now, Vanitas," Master Xehanort said with a false anger, and amused smile. "You know miss Naminé was forced to do all of this. None of this was her choice. You know she can't help which battles she wins and loses."

Yeah, because going along with Marluxia and Kairi's stories _hadn't_ been her choice. Like she hadn't been helping us all along. Somehow, that joke wasn't funny after Xehanort had latched onto it. I made to latch onto a new way to torment her. "Speaking of fighting, I hear you have a Keyblade now. And a heart! But who cares about that hurtful thing? Naminé, if you had let me know where you were, you could have been taught to use your Keyblade better. Maybe we wouldn't have even been able to bind you like this! Although I'm quite fond of bondage. What do you think, Naminé?" At that I kissed her cheek. I then went as far as to lick from her chin to her hairline.

I laughed when she cringed away from me. "Oh come on, girly. It's not like we haven't done the dirty before," I said as I placed my hand over a certain, secret part of her anatomy. As she jerked away, her gag came loose. And I was met with the full force of her glare and frown. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want to say something, Naminé?" I couldn't keep a laugh out of the last part.

Naminé let out an equally loud scream of frustration. "You're wrong!" She screamed after she stopped screaming her head off, and trying to break her bonds. "Sora loves me! I know he does! If Kairi didn't exist…"

"Naminé. Naminé!" I exclaimed as I shook her shoulders, and had a rare bout of sympathy. "Isn't this the thinking that got you into this mess? You fell for your own lie! Trust me, no one can love us fake people. It's just the way it is." I knew this firsthand, but I would _not_ dwell on that.

Naminé didn't seem to want to dwell on the past either. A wicked smile crossed her face, and her eyes fogged up in an attempt to block the pain. I know she was going with her last option. Like many of the people in this effed up tale, Naminé had simply gone insane. Unlike the others, I doubted that she wanted to be present in the real world anymore. "What's in it for me if I help you with your plans?" Her voice was eerily higher, but more threatening. I exchanged glances with Xehanort, but for once he was as caught off guard as I was.

As always, I opted for sarcasm as the best defense. "Am I to take it you no wonder want the delicious piece of meat that I am?"

"You were never the _flavor_," and yes she annunciated the word in a bizarre way, "I desired, Vanitas." Somehow, she'd managed to somewhat break free from me. More shocking, she'd summoned her Keyblade. It was now floating above us, and with an orange light (that instantly reminded me of how I'd left Kairi), it untied her. She, however, did not move away from me like she'd been trying to prior. Instead she picked up a handful of sand and let it slip through her fingers. She looked at each piece as if it were the love she'd lost.

I shook my head to rid it of the distraction. "Nice trick with your Keyblade, Nami. Had I known insanity was all that was needed for that level of Mastery, I would have been even _more_ malicious and insane."

The fact that she laughed at that was somehow more disconcerting than anything else she had done. "You're funny, Vanitas. But it's not you I want. If you want the X-Blade's power unlocked, I'm afraid we're going to have to negotiate."

Normally I wouldn't threaten a pretty lady with death. Not if I felt I could get something more worthwhile out of her, but as I knew exactly what Naminé wanted, I was left with no choice. "How about I don't kill you, and we call it even?"

Naminé turned around and glared at me. I even gulped a little at the coherency in her gaze. No doubt she had figured out the all too easy way to combat my threat. She _was_ crazy, after all. "If you don't relinquish Sora to me, I'll save you the trouble. I'll kill myself. Then how will your plan work?" As if to illustrate the point her ocean-y looking Keyblade was floating precariously close to her throat. She was taunting me. She knew of my desire to strangle and slit throats.

Terranort, and I called him this for a reason you'll soon understand, was stupid enough to discredit her. "Enough of this foolishness. Vanitas apprehend her, and we'll torture her into submission if we have to." No sooner had the words left his mouth did Naminé's Keyblade begin hurtling for her eye. She'd die of bloodloss if nothing else.

In fact, I suffered a major cut to the vein in my wrist as I detracted the stupid thing. Naminé's smile was just as evil as any of mine had ever been. "Idiot!" I reprimanded my Master without thinking. "What a poor body choice you _did _choose! You and Terra always were bumbling idiots with girls, but together you're just pathetic. Don't threaten a girl that has a blade to her head!"

And Xehanort was so shocked at her actions; he didn't see it in him to put me in my place. He didn't see it in him to do anything but gape in shock. That was exactly the reason Aqua and I had been forced togeth-

Fuck. I would not allow my thoughts to betray me. I had kept them in check for this many years, and I would not let this sap I inhabited change that. Instead, I quickly healed my wrist, and grudgingly turned to Naminé. "How long do you want me to let Sora in control?"

Naminé pouted at that. I might have made fun of how stupidly childish she looked if I didn't fear what she'd say next. "Control? I want him back indefinitely, Vanitas. I want him to control _you_."

At that I couldn't restrain myself. "Incase you've forgotten little witch, all of this is about controlling Kingdom Hearts. A being aligned with Light is hardly going to use the X-Blade for that. As if a child like Sora ever had it in him to control _me_!" Had she been asleep when she looked through Sora's memories? Had she not seen how much I controlled him when I had been with her? In my frustration, I gripped her shoulders rather roughly. I dug my nails into her shoulders, and blood trailed down them. As some of it got into her hair, I was reminded of my fantasy of seeing Kairi's crimson her awash with her blood.

Naminé didn't do Kairi justice. Suddenly, I had a new plan. "As it is, Sora has no desire to see you. Even if I gave him control, he'd be a lifeless puppet. Kind of how we thought he'd be when you destroyed his heart," the last part was solely for Naminé's ears and pain. "Kairi, on the other hand, might do the trick. Also, we could always just steal Kairi's heart again, and create a more submissive Nobody. You were complacent in the beginning." At the memory of how complacent she'd been, I couldn't help but go and stroke her chin the way one might stroke a well-behaved cat. "Submit, Naminé."

She, oh so eloquently, stuck her tongue out at me. I had half a mind to rip the thing out (how Nami had become worse than Iri, I had no idea), but she recalled it to her mouth with a sly grin. Oddly putting both hands on my hips and leaning forward, she said, "I could just pull Sora out of you. With my power over his memories I'm capable of many things, but where's the fun in that?"

I looked into her eyes; I looked for any signs of a bluff. As she tried to blink out of my line of vision, I saw what she'd been hoping to hide: she _was_ bluffing. "You're lying, Nami," I said as I cast a careful Water spell to dispel the blood from her hair. "If you wanted to mess around with my head, you would have. We all know you're a sucker for that. You may be able to mess with my memories, but you can't bring Sora back." She could, however, give me a false memory of wanting to bring the goof back, but I was banking on her missing the obvious in her insanity.

And I only gambled when I knew I would win.

But though I was a very competent fighter, I was quite surprised when I saw Naminé let go of me and draw her own Keyblade, as well as Destiny's Embrace. She pointed them at me and said," As of late, I find Kairi's Key is more willing to succumb to me," she said with a goofy laugh and smile about her.

As I placed my hands atop one of hers, I felt somewhat sickened in realizing this was exactly the kind of touch I should have been placing on her. I'd pretended to love her. Maybe at one point she'd even believed it. Now she would fight me, but was it my fault? I was using her exactly the way I had been used. We weren't unalike Naminé and me. Even so, I'd fallen too much to be good now. "What are you doing Un-Somebody?" I asked with a joking air, "you know you can't take me in a fight."

And as her face crinkled in such an "adorable" way, I knew she was about to use my own words against me. "But I want to be taught to use my Keyblade better." As she batted her eyelashes in a coy way, I couldn't help but feel that would be the only coy thing about what was to come.

Grabbing onto the X-Blade, I prepared for any attack she might have been able to think of, but what I wasn't prepared for was for my vision to fail me. Everything seemed to swim before my eyes in a vortex. If I didn't know any better, I would have assumed that Master Xehanort had raised the Earth the way he had fourteen years ago.

I did not like being blind. And even though the dirt and grime that danced in my vision did not physically touch my eyes, I still couldn't see anything. I heavily relied on my eyes. In fact, with my former bright colored eyes, I'd been able to see in the dark.

I saw something from the corner of my eyes and meant to lunge towards it, but it was nothing but air. I would have assumed that Naminé had learned to dissipate, but as I caught a glance of the real girl, I was amazed to see that she was painting images in the air with one of her Keyblades, but fighting with the other.

Of course! Whatever Naminé drew came true because she could effect memories! That meant that whatever I was facing now was mere illusions. After all, if Naminé had had any magical prowess before, she could have easily escaped her fate.

That didn't mean that I knew what to do with myself, however. So she was creating illusions. Whoop-de-fricking-do, it didn't mean that I knew how to stop them. Especially since I was still very much trapped in the fake sandstorm, and could barely see her.

Fortunately for me, I _did_ have magic. I was quite skilled with it to boot. "Stopga!" I exclaimed. Immediately, the fake image dispelled, but I knew I'd only have a moment to react. In a short moment, the spell would break.

Annoyingly, Naminé's art had not stopped. It was one of the annoyances that the Nobodies brought with them. They were born into the world with certain abilities, and that meant that it was never an easy thing to keep them away from their destined abilities. Naminé was still trying to trap me in her fantasy world.

But as I saw her trying to bewitch me to the ends of the Earth, I saw something I'd seen just moments ago. I saw something I'd originally become accustomed to seeing in her: fear. Teleporting behind her, I used the X-Blade to cut a delicious rip down her back. Fortunately, I had only really destroyed her pretty dress. I didn't want her to bleed out, and after her little game, I was quite partial to the idea of scaring her.

One moment I had her by the loose fabric I had made, and the next she was gone. "What the-" at that moment, the only thing I could come up with that would explain her disappearance was that I'd been fighting her shadow. But there was no way Vexen had been able to clone her. If he had, the real Naminé surely would have given us the clone so she could be free.

As I was thinking it over, I felt a large pain in the back of my head. But it was not the enchanting Nami that was responsible for it. No, I'd become quite accustomed to his kind of abuse.

"Master-" was the only thing I was able to say before he was kicking me in the stomach. As I rolled onto the ground, I tried to get up, but I knew it was to no avail. He scratched me, and punched me, but mostly he kicked me.

"Have you learned nothing, worthless? You _were _in a fake world. All it took was Naminé writing in your memory that you were in a fake world! What did I teach you about controlling your emotions?"

"You mean-" No, it couldn't be! I _had _been in a fake world then? If Naminé was so powerful, why had she ever done our bidding? Was she really that meek? The only person I'd ever heard with that kind of magic was Zexion. How had Naminé learned to manipulate her powers so?

"You were inside her sketchbook, idiot!" Xehanort said continuing with his normal dose of torment. "Fortunately," he said as he strolled away from me, "I was much too powerful to fall into Naminé's trap, and captured the real thing for you. Now you're going to fight her again!"

I'd known it. Oh how I'd known it. He'd walked off, I'd used to think I was off the hook for any misdeed I'd done, but he only walked away to formulate a worse torture. At least that's what I'd learned to expect. But for some unexplainable reason, even though I wanted to kill Naminé for what she'd done, I didn't want to subject her to the horrors I'd been through. "If you make _her_ an empty shell, we won't be able to extract what we need to," I said as I stumbled to my feet.

And then as the Master turned around, with a kicking and screaming Naminé he was dragging by her hair, I saw a sadistic gleam in his eyes, and I knew what he'd do if I didn't comply. It'd broken me down as an eleven-year-old boy, and it still did. I could not kill parts of myself anymore. It was for that reason that I'd gone to Aqua in the first pla-

"Stand up, Naminé," I said as I tried to calm my mind, and simultaneously spare our bodies. I didn't want any of my sympathy to break through, but as she recoiled, I couldn't control it. "He'll only hurt you worse if you don't listen. You wanted to fight me, remember?"

Whether she had chosen it or not, Master Xehanort forced her to her feet. As he stole one of her Keyblades away, he told her she needed to fight fairly. "Vanitas," he said, as I almost thought I'd get off easy for once, "summon your Unversed."

"No!" I don't know who exclaimed it first. Maybe Naminé and I said it at the same time. Although we surely had different reasons. She was recalling the hell they'd caused via my memories. And I was remembering how awful it felt to create them. Nonetheless for them to be destroyed.

Xehanort smirked in a way that _really_ made me wish I could cut those lips from his face. "It seems my servants are even less obedient than I feared. Very well, I shall have to try my strengths against you, Naminé." He wouldn't even give her a chance to see the way of his attacks first. "Looks like you're going to get the lesson you wanted, Naminé," he said with a cruel humor.

"Don't!"

And suddenly, I was in another time and place. But in both places, I'd end up begging for a girl's safety.

_My allowing Aqua to go free after our duel in Neverland, hadn't gone unnoticed by Master Xehanort. In fact, he'd appeared in front of me almost mere moments after it had happened._

_He'd made sure to take me away from the prying eyes of Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, and had beaten me to a bloody pulp. The main difference was that he'd used a Keychain for his Keyblade. And the Key looked eerily like Aqua's. _

_After having fought Aqua minutes prior, it was hard not to imagine that it was _her _doing this. Surely if she knew what I'd plotted against her and her friends, she would abuse me like this._

_But she'd shown me the only bit of kindness I'd ever known. Unlike Ventus and King Mickey, she hadn't aimed to kill me. In fact, she'd seem somewhat reluctant to fight me until I initiated the fights, and there was that one time… _

_My thoughts drifted away at a particularly mean crack in my ribs. I was in tons of pain, but Xehanort always made sure to hurt me enough so that it was a living hell, but I still remained conscious. "You're getting soft again, Vanitas," he mused with a bored tone. "I thought what you'd been through had taken all of the mercy out of you. She was unconscious. It would have been easy. So why didn't you act?"_

"_She's too beautiful. Death wouldn't sufficiently let one see her divineness." _

_It wasn't her outer appearance that I was referring to though. It was her heart. And Xehanort saw that all too clearly. "You've allowed Ventus to manipulate you again. Why not put an end to it? She'll only get in the way later." _

"_I want her." And as there was a particular bulge in my pants, Xehanort couldn't argue that. But he, unlike Naminé,_ _wasn't blind to the obvious answer_. _"Then why didn't you take the defenseless girl now? Don't tell me: you've deluded yourself into thinking that she could want you too._

_I rolled my eyes at that one. Not even Ventus could be that thick, and Xehanort must have been reassured by my typical response. When I said, "Peter Pan and those kids were coming," he believed me._

_The sickest part of it all was that Xehanort did only what he deemed "necessary" for the greater good. He would never have allowed me to hurt those innocents. He'd deluded _himself_ into thinking he was good. "Master, let me kill her. At least give me that," he thought I had the urge to rape her if given the chance, but really I just wanted to afford her a painless death. I had stupidly fallen in love with Aqua, but love was the ultimate betrayal._

As I returned to the present, I was in very much pain. And it didn't take a lot of deducing to figure out why: I had fallen unconscious. And as I'd dreamed, Xehanort had extracted Unversed from me in my sleep, but only to kill them. It was a pain akin to being burned alive, but not having the sanctuary of death and painlessness to look forward to. Instead, you had to wait until the flames went away, and then live through the aftershock.

It was no surprise to me that I was crying. I had no doubt that Xehanort had killed many parts of me in his vengeance, but what _did _surprise me was Naminé's tears as she leaned over me. For a moment, she seemed like the girl I'd met before. The girl I suddenly wanted to protect. "I'm so sorry, Vanitas. That was so awful! I shouldn't have stalled, I shouldn't have-"

But I didn't hear the rest of what she said. My (Sora's) heart was still connected to Kairi's, and I could feel her approach. For a moment, I could pretend that she was Aqua. _My_ salvation.

Sora had stirred within me, but then again, maybe he'd been a part of me to begin with.

**Author's Note: So I REALLY like this chapter. I have to say that a lot of this is inspired by Vanitas' past that is revealed in the Birth by Sleep Novel 3. A summary of it (in English) can be found on kh13 . com. Check it out!**

**Next chapter is Sora's POV. **

**R&R!**

**And who else was glad to finally see Naminé again? She's been gone for so many chapters! But she was going from world to world so Marluxia (until he died), Vanitas (Sora), and Master Xehanort couldn't find her. **

**Although, she was in the Land of Dragons the same time as the others were, by chance, in my epic Marluxia, Sora, Kairi fight scene/Sora faces the truth/Xehanort's return chapters. **

**Also, I really enjoyed writing Naminé's fighting style. Actually, I enjoy coming up with fighting styles for all the KH characters. But I imagine she possibly **_**could **_**have those abilities. If only Naminé could get a Keyblade in Canon… **

******And we are in the teens! Woot! This story is nearing completion! **

**And to ****Kutlessrocker, I'm sorry that I haven't been replying to you lately, but I've been quite busy this week. I'll try to do better this week. You've been so awesome in supporting me in what I do, and I can't thank you enough for it. Also, I've started reading your "Her Scars" and really like it so far. I'll leave a sufficient review once I have more time.**

**Thanks for reading, everyone!**

**-Shanna**


	14. Wildfire

**Wildfire **

**(Sora's Point of View)**

"_Sora," Kairi said_ _as she was drifting to sleep in my arms. _

_I wasn't really paying attention, as I was watching the idiot on TV try and play DDR with his feet in the middle. I'd learned long ago that it was easier to have one foot behind you, and the other in the middle. The back steps were always the hardest to dance to when starting out._

"_Sora," she said a bit more firmly. I moved fractionally on her ocean blue couch, and accidentally sent our bowl of Sour Patch Kids to the floor. Kairi didn't seem the least bit irked that I'd spilled candy (and possibly Pepsi) in the Mayor's house. Instead, she rolled over onto her stomach, and looked at me with a perceptive gaze. "You don't have to hang out with me. I know that Riku cancelled. I know that you come here for him, so…"_

_She trailed off when she saw the stern look in my eyes. I may have only been fourteen, but I knew what love was. I may have been more comfortable around Riku (I was too nervous around Kairi), but she was absurd if she thought I didn't value her company. "Kairi," I said disapprovingly, as I rolled onto the floor. As it was, I ended up landing right where the floor dipped down to lead to another room. I fell down the microscopic step, and I had the embarrassment of having Kai laugh at me. She, at least, hadn't klutzily fallen to her "death". I was such a freak show. _

_Leaning over me, Kairi seemed to be looking for something in my eyes. I tried my best not to blink, but at the same time I hoped that she wouldn't kiss me. I wanted it more than anything, of course. But what if I didn't meet this girl' s expectations? What if I… "Sora, you only hang out with Riku because he's more weird than you are, don't you?"_

_And just like that, the tense atmosphere evaporated, and Kairi was simply my best friend. "You're one to talk!" I exclaimed as I tackled her to the emerald floor, and held her hands above her head. "Most people would say you should be a cheerleader, Kairi. You have the personality of one, but-"_

"_You know me better," she interrupted me. And suddenly any joke I had, about us all trying not to be misfits by joining other misfits, evaporated. _

"_What?" I asked, as I began searching her eyes. She, however, seemed abruptly serious, and I could not ferret out any answers. _

_Just as suddenly as the mood had changed, Kairi changed. Leaning up on her forearms, Kairi licked my cheek. When I stared at the offended area in horror, Kairi could only laugh hysterically. "Well, you can't say we're best friends now, right?"_

_And at that I had to smile. Kairi was just too smart! How had she known I'd meant to reassure her that she was my best friends moments prior? "I don't understand you," I finally said as I gazed into her twinkling eyes. How she could be so odd and mirthful at the same time…the thing about Kairi is she always likes to catch you off guard. _

_Like right now, she had inferred she knew I liked her, but tomorrow I knew she'd be the somewhat shy girl I'd first met. It was almost as though she sometimes felt the need to make up for _something_…_

_As I had mulled things over, Kairi had crawled around behind me, and was hugging herself to me. As she laid her head against my back, I had to again wonder why I'd ever doubted my love for this crazy girl. "I can't help it that I'm from another world. That in itself would make anyone weird." _

_And to my great horror and humor, Kairi slapped my behind. And no matter how innocent and non serious I knew the action to be; I couldn't help but blush and scamper away from her. "Kairi," I said with a certain panicked edge in my voice, "how could you ever doubt I want to spend time with you? You're so _fun_!" The sarcasm was evident in my voice._

_But, as it was, Kairi knew _me_ better than anyone else too. I did not like the look on her face. She looked as though she'd just won the lottery. Suddenly, it was _her _scampering away from me. As she slid on the tiles to the kitchen floor, she kept a firm gaze. Even when she was spinning on the polish, I knew she had me owned. "You're just jealous that you can't control your hormones. And that your voice is squeaky. How glad I am that girls voices only somewhat change at times!"_

_And, perhaps, to prove her point, I blushed scarlet at the word "hormones', and missed much of what she said after that. However, I couldn't deny that I had the sudden desire to show her who exactly was in control._

"_So," I began with a coy smile, as I dived back onto her couch. The springs gave a noise of protest, but Kairi's ire was too fun to provoke sometimes. "If I just happened to turn the TV, you wouldn't mind?"_

_Kairi prided herself on being smart. We would just see if she were as much a genius as she boasted. "Of course," she said with a meeker energy. She reentered her living room, however, with a jar of Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chips. Who would scarf them down first though, I didn't know. "Sora, it's not as though we're watching anything."_

"_What if I wanted to watch an After School Special?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, and widening smile. Kairi remained blissfully unaware._

_Sitting herself beside me, Kairi took the remote, and began looking for such program in the Guide. I, however, almost lost it all when I saw how sticky the remote was from the Peanut Butter. I was a teenage boy, after all. You can't hear "sticky" and "messy" without thinking about something. To distract myself, I took the remote from Kairi, but she didn't give it too me easily. So after a tickle war, and a broken tea set later, I had it from her, and was just about to turn it to a porn channel, but she did something unexpected._

"_Sora!" She shrieked as though she'd been poked or something. But really she'd jabbed _me_ in the side. "You're going to watch a dirty Pay-per-view thing, aren't you?"_

_And though I was laughing so hard on the inside, I thankfully kept a straight face as I pulled her atop me again, and said, "I did say After School Special."_

_Kairi stuck her tongue out at me, but she quickly stopped the action. It was as if she was only now realizing that we were two teenagers, alone, talking about sex. "Sora! I _thought _you meant a show that usually comes on after school. I didn't think you meant. That you-"_

_And though I knew I was going to get smacked for this, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself had I been paid. "Oh, but Kairi. I think guys kissing guys is hot. Don't you like that kind of porn? They say that girls-"_

_I was cut off because, yes, Kairi reamed me in the head with a pillow. "Don't say that word!" Kairi all but shrieked. "And don't talk about… that." And it was clear by how she blushed that the idea _had_ turned her on. It was like how I thought she and Selphie kissing would be hot. Yes, revenge was quite sweet. "Who's not in control of their hormones, Kai?"_

_The icy glare Kairi gave me could have made Hell freeze over. "That wasn't funny, Sora! You know I'm good and innocent! I try to fit in, but.." To my real horror, Kairi was now crying. _

_What an idiot I was! I should have known not to do this. No matter how hard Kairi tried, she could not talk about sex to save her life. Sometimes she got pretty close, but she always stopped herself. She was starting to think there was something wrong with her._

"_Kairi," I said as I wiped away one of her tears, and held her against me. She must have liked the feel of my woolen, tan sweater, because once again she laid down on me as I lied on the couch. "Kairi, don't let your differences bother you. Just because you have class, it means, well… it means you're better than us, really. You've _always_ been better than us." _And that's why I love you,_ it was on the tip of my tongue, but I didn't say it. It was one of the moments I'd always regret. _

_Kairi must have noticed something off in my voice because she rolled onto her stomach again. As she rested her head on her forearms, I could see that she had somewhat cheered up, but she was still melancholy. Somehow though… she seemed worried about my well-being. "It's just, if I can't fit in with you, how can you really love me? You deserve to be loved by everyone. You deserve _my_ love," there was a weird light in her voice when she said the last bit, but she seemed oblivious to it. "Maybe you need someone who can get along with you better."_

_At that, I was irrationally angry, but I didn't let it show. Instead, I smoothed her eyelids. Only when she relaxed did I say, "I just said you were better than us, Kai. If that doesn't show love, I don't know what does. And _you_ deserve to be loved and cherished. In fact, I feel as though I should make it my life goal or something." She laughed slightly at that, but once again she was drifting._

_I'd always remember that day. Even though Kairi had taken it as friendship, that had been the first time I told her that I loved her._

Darkness… it didn't make sense to me why I should be floating in darkness when Kairi herself was Light. I was coherent of a few things, but maybe I shouldn't have been coherent at all. I had lost against Vanitas… the multiverse very well might be destroyed. And Kairi… surely, she would be killed.

But why did it seem like such a thing would be an impossibility? Wasn't I reliving moments with her this very moment? If Kairi were in danger, wouldn't the memories themselves be in danger too?

Most importantly… why were we losing out to a memory? Why was I choosing my memories of Kairi over the real thing? Why wasn't I fighting?

I would have liked to believe I made my decision because I just wanted to remember her. After all, most of my memories of her were lost. But now I could see all she was—all she is, all we had been—through clearer, matured eyes. The act should have been painful. I should have hated myself for losing all of this with her, but I had the inane idea that this place was safe. This place was a sanctuary.

It was what was out there that was unsafe. Out there was unknowable. Out there was where people could be hurt and torn apart. Out there… was where people could make stupid mistakes.

And who was to say this Kairi, this reality, wasn't the real one? She'd seemed more unreal in that other place. My memories of her had been lost, and I'd been forced to see the truth. My life had been turned upside down.

Here… here everything made since. Here was where I wanted to be. Kairi had wanted me to remember so much… surely she would be okay with me being here. Surely she would want me here. She, after all, had many times said she wanted what was best for me. This, of course, was best for me. So I would stay here. It was no competition, really.

So why… why was I doubting myself? Why did it seem wrong to stay here? Why did I know so much when I should have been drifting?

"**Because you should be doubting yourself. You know that this is wrong. Sora, you were never really lost, but you still don't want to be found."**

Perhaps I was wrong. Kairi had yet to reprimand me in this world. Kairi had yet to try to gently coax me in the right direction. Was that why my conscience was starting to sound like her? Or was this somehow another crazy, stupid thing I caused?

I hoped for the ladder. "You're not real," And as my out of place voice cut across the black substance I was in, it caused it to break apart. I aimed to swim: to show how weightless and perfect I was. That this place was. So why did I feel so weighed down?

"**I'm as real as anything is. You just have to decide how real you want me to be. You have to decide that you want to face your fears and pain."**

I had to roll my eyes at that one. No… this wasn't Kairi. Kairi was poetic. Kairi made you do the right thing. This "Kairi", however, made the opposing side seem more tolerable. "What's the point of existing if all there is is pain?"

"**If we did not have pain. We would not know joy or humility. We wouldn't know love." **

"I refuse to touch that one," I covered my eyes with my hands, and sought even more darkness. "You and I always made light of our love. If we hadn't, this wouldn't have happened. We were never in love, Kai. We were never together the way we should have been."

"**Who are you trying to fool with that, Sora?"**

"Myself."

_"_Myself_." I paused and looked at Kairi as she sat on the red swing behind me. She looked apprehensive, but somehow so inviting. Even when she wasn't sure, she seemed to know more than anyone else did. "I mean, can you believe the nerve of that guy?"_

_"Riku's your best friend, Sora," Kairi said seriously, but I could tell that a laugh was just waiting to come out. Maybe bringing her to a playground with laughing kids wasn't a good idea. I kicked the sand in irritation, but was even more irritated when I got sand in my face and shoes._

_At that, Kairi laughed. I glared at her. As she raised both hands palm forward, I was placated. But even my patience was tried when she began by giggling, "You do realize that you're mad because Riku chose to take the report on by himself. Sora, you're making his independence worse by alienating him!"_

_"What?" I began a bit incredulously. As I looked at the silver, fake firefighter pole, I thought that I saw gold in my eyes, but I quickly waved the insane thought off. "I said we were meeting at the playground. It's not my fault that he decided not to come."_

_"Because we usually go to the Play Island! In fact, I think I'm going to row there and look for him. It's rude to-"_

_She cut herself off when I gripped the chains of her swing, and sent her spinning. She laughed in a sugary voice. But even though her eyes were smiling, I knew she was still upset with me when she skidded to a stop. "I'm not going to get Riku." Especially not since I wanted to be alone with her. If Riku weren't such a loaner, maybe he could have had alone time with Kairi, too. In fact, that was the reason he really took it on him to do the research paper._

_And as Kairi looked into my eyes imploringly, I felt as though I just might go and do what she said. She, however, seemed to be thinking something entirely different. Grabbing onto my hand, she put it to her heart, but the teenager in me was more concerned about how close my hand was to her left breast. It didn't help that there were other kids there. On one hand, I wanted to discourage her doing this with eight year olds watching. But on the other hand, I wanted to taunt my success to all teenagers nearby. "Sora, don't you think I know what this is about. My grandmother once said that everyone would covet the Light. And, well, I guess I am pretty much that."_

_Suffice to say, I wasn't expecting that. Somehow, even with her hand atop mine, I wiggled it free, and could only stare at it in horror. "You know that Riku did the project alone so he didn't have to see us together?" While it was true that Kairi was light, I had never really heard her except her role like that before. I even less heard her talk about her grandmother. Not knowing what happened to the only person of her past she remembered had always been a sore spot for Kairi. Thankfully, she didn't seem to be dwelling on that._

_"Well… it's not the first time we've slacked off together, and left him alone at it. It's also not the first time that you've got mad at him implying he's superior in school." And I was blushing and walking backwards._

_Stupidly, I realized she could still see my face, and turned completely around. How on Earth had she guessed that? True she was sensitive to truth and lies, but how had she guessed that truth? It was no secret that Kairi trumped anyone in schoolwork. Usually that would have provoked my ire at Riku, but I hated that he seemed to be thinking I was in fact stupid. I may have played the goof, but…_

_"Sora," Kairi said as she interrupted my train wreck thought process and walked towards me, "Sora," she said again as she place a hand to my shoulder, "you're not stupid. And Riku doesn't think that. He wants you to think that so he'll win your competitions, but don't ever think-"_

_You know those moments when you have the urge to do something, and can't resist? You know those moments when you do something that feels right to you, but might not to someone else? You know those moments when you think with your heart and not your head? This was one of those moments._

_Turning around fast, I grabbed onto Kairi's hands. Wrapping them around my neck, she fell forward. As she did so, it was simply impossible to resist the draw of those glossy lips. I held onto her a bit rougher than I should have. In fact, I probably left bruises. But I just felt overcome by something. I wanted her. I had always wanted her, but now I wasn't holding back anything. But as I pushed the small of her back, and guided her closer to me, she froze._

_"Sora…" she said as she literally staggered backwards and fell in the sand._

_Again, I saw gold glinting off the fire pole. But again I brushed it off. Kairi, however, didn't. She set off running. And even though the memory was quite horrific, I'd always remember it as the first time we truly kissed. The drunken time when we were fourteen—I hadn't remembered until this moment—I didn't count._

As the memory had ended, and I sat there once again drifting, I was suddenly aware of Vanitas. What he'd been doing all along, and how much of my life he had ruined. It had been him that made me feel something for Naminé, I myself didn't. Who's to say he hadn't been pressing my buttons in Castle Oblivion? Was he the one that had caused me to make the life altering decisions I had?

Suddenly, the falsities and darkness didn't please me anymore. I wanted real. I wanted light. I wanted Kairi! I was owed that much after all I'd been through. This was my body, and Ventus and Vanitas had leeched from it too much. Only one person was allowed to share me, and that was Kairi. Our hearts belonged together. And it was through our connection that the dear Xion was created. That Naminé was created. I would not let such a thing be used for evil!

I had promised Kairi that I wouldn't give up on the Light. And I hadn't. I wouldn't! Looking at her lucky charm, I willed it to give me the power needed to escape my prison. But I was met with resistance. I tried it again, and almost wished I hadn't.

Kairi… she was Darker. But I could easily forgive that. We all had become Darker. What I couldn't accept was that she was lying in a pool of her own blood. She was dying somehow, and what was I doing but watching from the sidelines? I was enjoying memories while she was staking everything for us. Kairi had suffered too much. My soul died for her, but I was not freed. Still, I fought.

The thing is, when you don't care about anything, time seems to have no meaning. But when you find yourself, every minute you're away feels like an eternity. Every moment you see your loved ones hurt, the more you wish you could be there for them. The more you fight, the more you realize you'll fight until your last breath to see your loved one again.

Still… time is a fickle thing. Xion—who I had recently contacted with—insisted that I let the memories wash over me. Since everything had started from memories, she thought it would have to end that way. But I was done letting memories own me. Still, the ghost of a girl and Roxas were searching through them for a way to save me.

I, on the other hand, was waiting for Vanitas to slip. I ached for my Keyblade to come to me, but it did not. Instead, I began looking for his wounds. And when he taunted me, when he said I'd never be close to Kairi, I brought out the big guns. I brought up Aqua.

Vanitas began coming apart at the seams. The only downside was our connection. I too began breaking, but in being broken, you learn how to rebuild yourself better. You learn how to deal without certain things, but cherish everything even more. I was challenging Vanitas, but doing so in a different way.

_Riku, surprisingly, had his arms draped over Kairi and my shoulders as we walked down the vacant high school hallway. He had a sad look at best, but it was gone within an instant. I almost had to wonder if I'd seen anything at all. "I can't believe you're skipping a grade…" Riku said as he kicked a pop can out of the way._

_Kairi watched the harmless object go flying, but somehow I knew her sole attention was on Riku. "It's not that bad, really. I mean I'll make sure to see you all everyday, and I was getting quite bigheaded in my other classes. Change is… change is good."_

_It was clear by the silence that none of us actually saw it that way. Breaking Riku's hold on me, I turned backwards and began walking that way. To cheer Kairi up more than anything, I grabbed Riku's hand and outstretched it so it kept hitting me when he moved forward. Kairi, thankfully, giggled._

_"Come on guys," I began with my hands folded behind my head, and a lazy grin on my face, "We have the whole summer ahead of us! Why dwell on this now? Besides," I said as I began to walk straight again. I may have wanted to cheer Kairi up, but I didn't want to be a laughing stock by tripping over my own shoelaces, "we were destined to be separated like this eventually. You are older than us, Riku. It was just luck that Kai's and my birthday fell in such a way that we were allowed to be in your year."_

_And maybe it was my nonchalant tone that made Riku put his arm around me and all but begin choking me. As he dug his knuckles into my head, I could only laugh, and implore Kairi to help. She, however, was sliding down a locker in laughter. "You sure seem okay with us being separated, Sora," Riku said with false bravado. "If it were me, I'd never-"_

_"I don't want to be separated," I said suddenly serious. Riku looked at me with humor, but Kairi, as she stood up, looked nothing but curious. "All I'm saying is if we were to be separated, I wouldn't let it hamper me. I'd find a way to be with you guys. I'd never give up, and I'm not going to let this get in our way. We can face more than-"_

_"Thank you!" Kairi exclaims as she throws herself into my arms, and hugs me. My former words all but forgotten, I hug her back too. "Thank you, Sora. I was actually so worried. I mean there are so many other girls. I'm sure you guys could easily replace me. I wouldn't begrudge you that, of course, but I'm much more obliged to-"_

_"Kairi!" It should be evident by the tone and loudness that Riku is now talking. I might have been crazy (not institutionally as Riku would say), but even I wouldn't scream when Kairi's ear drum was right next to me. "Will you stop stressing? People are saying I should be the mature one now, remember? However, I'm going to be immature and say, you're in fact stupid if you think we'd ever forget you. And boy do you use big words, no wonder you're getting promoted."_

_And as it was, Kairi couldn't restrain herself. Reaching forward out of my arms, she latched onto Riku, and pulled him into the embrace. She accidentally kissed his ear, and some of the saliva fell onto mine. "Jeez, I'm going to stop hanging out with you guys. You talk too much and slobber."_

_Yeah, Riku and Kairi may or may not have elbowed me at that. We may or may not have rolled to the ground in a wrestling match. The school couldn't do much. It was after hours on the last day of school. Still… we would have acted the same even if we thought we'd have gotten expelled. Our friendship was imperfectly perfect. Nothing else mattered._

And perhaps it was the strength of the memory that made Vanitas remember his strongest memory of Aqua. His pride, strength, and beliefs I couldn't eclipse, but his love, want for friendship, and obstacles I easily could. I'd felt more than he had. I had the strength to go out and get it. And what hadn't I overcome at this point?

Riku… I had been a fool to ever forget him. I'd been a fool to forget our friendship. Because though I loved Riku like a brother, it was still as strong as my love for Kairi. And love would always triumph over all. I had let him down. Now, if I defended him, maybe I'd be freed.

Our greatest times had happened together. It had been together that we first befriended Kairi, together that we became curious about her past, together that we became the best friends anyone could ever imagine. But more than that, it was together that we had come to love her. Kairi was worth fighting over. But she was really worth fighting for.

We'd made promises that day. I'd had Riku's back, and now it was time for him to have mine. We'd both let our friendships and selves down. But we would never let Kai down. The three of us belonged together as the sky, land, and sea.

Running my hands over Kairi's lucky charm, I knew I'd found the key to my escape. Vanitas was coming undone. And I, as the hero of this tale, felt sorry for him. He would never know love or friendship.

I knew both, and I would no longer waste either.

**Author's Note: So, you might find that I begin writing this at break neck speed. I really want to finish this and start another (original) story, so…**

**Haha. "And I, as the hero of this tale, felt sorry for him. He would never know love or friendship." Pretty much stole that from **_**The Order of the Phoenix**_** movie, but I couldn't resist. **_**Deathly Hallows Part 2**_** Premiere in eight hours! Wahoo-hoo-hoo! **

**Ahh, the KH trio. I'm so glad I could write about them accurately. Until this point, the story demanded other things, but I'm glad I could write about SoRiKai. **

**And is anyone as excited as I am for the news we got from Famitsu? It's about time we heard something. **_**3D**_** might be out in six months -sighs dreamily-. Kairi better be important in it! And there better be SoKai. And now I'm hoping those two characters mentioned were Roxas and Xion. SoKai, RokuShi, and TerQua ftw! **

**Well, the final arc is up next. I'm so excited! One more chapter from Kairi's POV, and Sora is officially back, baby! **


	15. Fire

**Fire**

**(Kairi's Point of View)**

Tears may have threatened to fall down my cheeks, but I was past crying. I willed my tear ducts to remain dry; I was going to have to will a lot more than that to happen. Pressing my armor plate, I had the disconcerting feeling of my body's clothes separating from my being. My body aimed to hold onto my Light, but I needed Darkness right now. Darkness had stronger physical attacks, but Light was more defensive. I would not need healing when everything was done.

Sora… as usual, he was indirectly the reason I had been crying. Our hearts remained connected, and as always, I was able to locate him. Once the image of his location flashed through my mind, I could only smile bitterly. Of course he (Vanitas) would be at the Keyblade Graveyard. Of course Xehanort would want everything to end the way it started.

_Aqua, you might as well come after all_, I thought amused. However, the thought was not serious. I was doing what I was doing so she wouldn't have to go through more. It was strange… the more dire and terrible things got, the more goofy I became. Maybe it was a defense mechanism; maybe it was my Princess of Heart status, but whatever the reason, I aimed to lessen the pain.

That's why it had been so impossibly hard to evade Riku this morning. He'd asked me point blank if I had some crazy plan that might kill me. Ironically, it was my perfect denial in light of the bad that made me seem suspicious. Much like Vanitas, I'd found sarcasm as my friend, and was able to throw him off my tail. Or so I thought. Sometimes Riku could be so vacant and stony expression-ed, you never know what he is thinking.

As I teleported to the Keyblade Graveyard, as I first and foremost looked at the figure of Naminé, the knowledge that I would die seemed evident. However, I'd be damned if I didn't take Master Xehanort out first. If needed, I would take out Naminé, but none of this really vexed me. What was truly horrifying was knowing I'd have to leave Sora to Riku's hands. I had no doubt he'd be able to bring back his best friend. Vanitas had never cared for existing so when his plans fell apart, he would too.

But I… I would die without ever seeing Sora again. Without ever having truly told him I loved him. The last thing I would see would be an imposter in my love's body. Still… I took a deep breath, and found my resolve. Moving one foot in front of the other, I moved to face my fate.

The air was somehow much cooler than I thought it would be. Perhaps it sensed all the Dark users in the vicinity. But the wind was harsh and cold. The sand was flowing behind me like a cape, but the Keyblade's remained resolute. I looked into the violet sky, and saw a bit of sun peaking out from behind the clouds. It looked as though the sun was being suffocated by its partner. I tried very hard not to imagine myself as that sun. As that light.

As I walked forward another step, Naminé had finally noticed me. Looking up from Vanitas, whom she'd lovingly been leaning over, she met me with a wicked look. I shouldn't have expected anything else, really. On principle, I should have hated her. She'd caused my life to fall apart. _I_ had caused my life to fall apart. But in the end, Naminé was just another victim. I couldn't hate her.

That would be like me hating Vanitas. And for whatever reason, I didn't hate the Darkness incarnate. He had become a part of my Sora. And I couldn't hate him, because I had no hate for Sora. I only had love for him. Light versions of the feelings be damned.

Looking at Naminé, I smiled at her. The oddness of such a thing made me pause to feel what my lips had formed. I, of course, had imagined many times what I'd do when I met Naminé. When I was learning to use Darkness, I'd even entertained ideas of hurting her. How different the reality was to the fantasy!

I did not have time to see if Naminé would return the gesture. Master Xehanort had sensed my appearance. At once I tried to summon Dark Destiny's Embrace and Clean Slate, but I should have foreseen Nami not allowing me to use her Keyblade. I, annoyingly, would only have one Keyblade against the Master. At least Vanitas still seemed to be injured. I did not fancy my chances with him.

Not because he'd surely back Xehanort up, not because the X-Blade—even damaged—was the most powerful Keyblade in the world… but because I doubted I could fatally injure him if needed. I knew he would fight to kill me, but I could never seriously hurt Sora. He had been the victim in all of this. But given the decision, I knew he wouldn't have changed anything. He was too good. He'd always choose to help people before all else.

"Sora," I said as I dangerously walked closer to Vanitas, and had a mental image of Naminé baring her teeth at me like a piranha. "Sora, I know you're in there."

Vanitas, for a moment, didn't seem to hear me at all. The wind rustled his hair, and I almost laughed at a memory of me trying to tame Sora's hair against the wind. We had had an outdoor choir concert that day…

Shaking my head, I tried to rid it of the traitorous thought. These memories would not help me now. If anything, they'd make it that much harder for me to go through with my choices. Maybe that was why I was so cut off guard when the injured Vanitas rolled over, and looked at me with Sora's sparkling blue eyes. "He loves you so much," he said.

And I had no other defense but to close my eyes, and say torturously, "I know," It was torturous because it didn't matter anymore. I'd never see him again, and our story had become a tragedy. Somehow, it was even more torturous to be looking at Sora, hearing him speak, but knowing it wasn't really him.

Of course it'd be when I was falling apart at the seams that Xehanort would attack me. Nailing me in the side with a Light spell of all things, I crumpled to the ground, and imagined I might never be able to get up again. Wasn't it bad enough that I was like a ticking bomb already by using Darkness? My element of Light was trying to kill me, but when Xehanort attacked me with Light, the Light inside me became relentless. It was as if it was trying to get back at me for what I was doing. For changing nature.

I pressed my teeth into my tongue hard enough to draw blood. For a moment, I thought I myself might detach the thing. And there would go many of Vanitas' evil ideas. I couldn't help but laugh unstably at that.

Xehanort, meanwhile, seemed to look at me with a satisfied expression, "You do have quite a bit of evil in you, don't you, Princess?" He said as he oh so kindly kicked me in my injured side. To my horror, tears spilled down my cheeks, but at least they weren't due to emotional pain, but physical. "That's why we couldn't have used you to make the X-Blade. But I bet you regret that now, right? Beings of Light are so stupidly self-sacrificing. I bet you want to take Sora's place."

Thankfully, I steeled my expression and didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer. It was better for me, of course. Xehanort would have all too eagerly used whatever I said against me, but I felt like such a traitor to Sora by not agreeing.

Using that anger as power, I used the Darkened Destiny's Embrace as a crutch. Limply getting to my feet, I glared daggers at Xehanort, but at the moment, he wasn't paying any attention to me. He was paying attention to Vanitas. He, too, had finally stood up a little. For one terrible moment, I thought Xehanort was going to hurt him more. And in knowing it would only hurt Sora, I had to bite my cheek to keep from screaming out: it would only make the Master deem it necessary to hurt his apprentice.

As it was, Vanitas had no qualms about hurting me. Loud and clear I heard Vanitas say, "But we might need her, Master. If Naminé won't cooperate, you'll want to steal Kairi's heart, and make another Nobody to finish the X-Blade." Why Vanitas' words cut through me like a knife, I didn't know. Why should I be surprised? Vanitas was like an abused puppy. He hated and feared his Master, but would always come back because he was lost without him.

Why should I care that Sora, once again, would try and kill me as I did everything I could not to hurt him? To save him. As I breathed slowly, and let calm wash over me, I realized why I was getting so upset. Why I was connecting everything back to things I overcome. Why I was blaming Sora again.

Naminé.

With as much strength as I could muster, I snuck past the apprentice and Master. I just needed a second with my Nobody before they attacked me again. "I know none of this was Sora's fault," as I said the words, I willed my mind to believe it. Though Nami was messing with my brain, my heart knew the truth. "Naminé help me. You love Sora! I know you do. Help me so we can bring him back. And help me so they don't destroy you by creating another Nobody from me!"

Naminé's doubt was evident on her face. It was probably evident on mine too. If anything, _I'd _be hurt if they stole my heart. She was also most likely thinking I'd go back on my word and absorb her when all was said and done. There was no lying that I wanted Sora for myself.

Naminé, having power over memories, saw it all right after I thought it. "I want Vanitas now."

Since our hearts were connected, I was able to tell she was only trying to spite me. Without power over her memories, without the power to manipulate her, I willed her to hear the truth when I said, "Naminé, please help me. You _are_ me. I'm you! We're supposed to be beings of Light. In fact, you wouldn't exist if it weren't for Sora. You know I couldn't create a Heartless. But Naminé think! Why do you look the way you do? It's because you're Light. More so than me now. Please, Nami. Act like it. Help me!"

I had the insane idea she was regarding me and thinking it over, but I also somehow knew she was mentally abusing Xion. No matter. Before we could do much of anything, I was grabbed by the back of my armor by Vanitas. He threw me to the ground, and took a Keyblade that was lying around, and stabbed it through my arm. I screamed, but it was unheard by him as he laughed joyously. "That ought to hold you until the cavalry arrives. You beings of Light are so self-sacrificing. But you always secretly want your friends to follow you. In fact, seeing if they show up or not might be the most exciting thing today. Otherwise, I'd kill you right now. _But you're_ so _enchanting, Kairi_,"

At that I almost did break down. It just wasn't fair. None of this was. Why did I deserve this? Why did Vanitas have to say things Sora had said to me while he hurt me? Why did he want to kill me after everything that should have made him rethink things? And why, most of all, did he have to look like Sora?

Kicking the ground, I sent even more sand spewing everywhere. As I did so again, again, and again in frustration, I almost wished I would choke on the storm I was creating. Anything was better than the pain I was going through now. Emotional and physical alike.

For a moment, I saw a glint of blue directly above me. The eyes were not unlike me. And for an absurd second, I imagined that it was my ghost looking at my body. Because surely I was dead. What else but my ghost could have summoned Clean Slate to their side and charged at Xehanort.

"This is for _him_," a voice that wasn't mine said with a certain annunciation. The voice was _not_ mine; there was something different in the tenor. Only then was I forced to see the truth. Naminé had summoned her Keyblade and was facing off against Xehanort. She was inexperienced, but she'd laid some crucial hits.

Vanitas, however, was a formidable opponent, and he was sneaking up behind her. Naminé would never sense him, nor could she defeat him and Master Xehanort both.

Forcing myself back to reality, I painfully removed the bloodied Keyblade from my arm—only the promise that I could heal myself made me remain quiet—through it lightly to the ground, and raised my good hand to my mangled limb. I breathed out a sigh of relief that was louder than any scream I might have conjured, as my skin was stitched back together. The pain nearly gone, I summoned Dark Destiny's Embrace, and stealthily moved in hopes of sneaking up on Vanitas.

Of course my foot had to give out where the ground was drastically uneven. Vanitas reeled around as soon as I fell. I didn't fancy the idea of another Keyblade protruding from me, so I tried to kick out his feet. Vanitas, unfortunately, was very practiced and wouldn't give in easily. I put much of my wait into my legs, did a sort of sit up, and punched him squarely in his abdomen. Kicking him one more time, I had the satisfaction of seeing him crawling along on the ground the way he had made me do so before.

And suddenly, we were no longer seasoned warriors with formidable power and knowledge. No, we were instinctual, and animal as we tried to tackle each other and defeat the other with our bare hands. This was quite stupid on my part as Sora's muscle mass was clearly more than mine.

He knocked me down into the sand, and pressed his hands roughly on my chest, so as I couldn't breathe. It didn't help that the sand was clogging up my nostrils. Would my misguided dream of choking to death come into fruition? "You really are stupid, aren't you?" Vanitas said only when I'd become blue from lack of oxygen. "Why are you worrying about me when you should be concerned about your alter ego? She could be dead this very instant with the amount of skill she has."

I wished very strongly to spit at Vanitas, or kick him where the sun don't shine, but I was unable to do either. _I_ was an idiot? How dare he? If caring made you stupid, than I was the stupidest person in the world. But since he himself had liked Aqua, what did that make him?

He smirked at the incredulity in my eyes. And it is only for that reason I can surmise he let me go. Putting my hands to my now injured chest, I could only stare at him in shock. "Go help Naminé, girly."

I wished very much to tell him I'd been planning on it by going after him, but at the moment I was incapable of speech. Instead, I watched him charge forward and drag Naminé by her shoulders. Finding an out of place rock, I through it at the vile Vanitas. It hit with a satisfying thud before falling down Naminé's dress.

"Cura," I mumbled to myself as I got to my feet. Humor and life must be a thing of the past now. I had a job to do, and Vanitas was giving me a very strange opportunity to do just that. Of course I should have accounted for Xehanort being smart enough to ferret that out too.

He was standing behind me now, and as his Keyblade was to my back, I was completely at his mercy. In one swift movement he could easily drive his Keyblade to steal my heart, and then we would be even more thoroughly screwed. "Now, now, now, miss Kairi. Don't do anything stupid. It seems I may have to drive a point home with my servants, but other than that, I needn't harm you if you cooperate."

Oh, how I wished I could turn around. I wanted to knock his teeth out, dislodge his eyes, steal his own heart, and set Terra free. But at the moment, I couldn't do any of these things. So digging my nails into my palms to keep from betraying myself, I aimed for vocal berating. "Even after winning this shiny new body you don't fancy a fair fight. Come on, Xehanort, I dare you. Fight me fair and square and see if you're as strong as you imagine. As of now, you've only been using cheap tricks to best me."

I expected the Keyblade to cut through part of me or something, but what I _wasn't _expecting was for his creepy, dirty, old man tongue to snake out and lick my ear. "My dear, it was never you I needed to best," he said as he licked his lips the way a cat would after digesting milk. It was a true betrayal to Sora to not remove his filthy saliva from me, but I didn't want to egg him on. "What are you, but a pathetic Princess of Heart that got toned? Even in your strength, you're still as weak as the others. Even in you're prime, you're nothing more than a backup in this plot. Vanitas!"

I daringly whipped my head to the side, and tried very hard not to see Xehanort out of the corner of my eye. What I _wanted _to see was Vanitas. And I might have laughed at his expense if things hadn't gotten so out of hand. He was clearly trying to hold onto Naminé, but she too had gone animalistic. Blood pored from different places on him, as Nami had scratched, punched, bitten… anything to try and escape. I had to wonder if she'd chosen to help me at all. Perhaps her instincts had just totally taken over.

Maybe that's why it was that much worse when fire ripped through the ear, and charred her left arm before Vanitas healed it. Xehanort had struck her, and I found it very hard to remain the perfect captive at that. Oh no, I wanted him to pick on someone his own size, and though I was a lot smaller, I knew I would _slaughter_ him if given the chance.

"Vanitas," Xehanort said completely oblivious to my internal struggle. "Get over here before I harm your girlfriend again."

I dared turn my head a little further to see Vanitas' eyes. I willed him to disobey Xehanort, to free me, and run away with Naminé. But he did neither of these things. If I had been in his shoes I probably would have done the same thing. Love of my life or not.

"She's not my girlfriend," Vanitas whispered angrily, as he met us with his head bowed. For a very strong moment, I wanted to kick him in the face. It was so easy to imagine he was once again Xehanort's faithful servant and everything hadn't changed.

Not true, of course, everything had changed. But according to Xehanort, nothing had changed. With a wicked gleam in his eye, I knew everything one-way or another had gone as planned for him. I tried to wriggle away from him, but to no avail. He was using his free hand to hold onto my waist now. "That's right," Xehanort said ignoring me as if I were nothing more than drizzle on an otherwise perfect day. "You still have a thing for Miss Aqua. I hear she's finally been freed from her imprisonment. I'll give you her, Vanitas. Just help me with my plans one final time, and you two can be free together."

It was evident by the look on his face that he wanted that more than anything. And for a moment, I felt nothing but sorrow for him. How hard his life must have been! How hard it must have been to know the one thing you want more than anything would always be denied to you. And I allowed myself to cry a single tear for his expense.

Vanitas'—Sora's—eyes followed its journey as it cascaded down into my hair. It seemed only then that Vanitas saw that no matter what, his moments with Aqua would never last. It was the same way that tears would never stay permanently on my face. "Naminé is like me," Vanitas said with a clear terror in his voice, "I will keep her safe. That much you can believe."

It was only at Vanitas' denial that Xehaort became aware of me again. His hand that had been on my back traveled lower, lower, and lower. And I willed myself not to cry. If he was going to do what I thought he was, I wasn't going to make it worse for Sora.

"What are you doing, _Master_?" Vanitas choked on the last bit. Maybe he realized what Xehanort was planning too.

"It seems I might have to follow some of Marluxia's plan after all. If you're not going to cooperate, I'll bring Sora back, and use his love for this girl to make him do whatever I want. The X-Blade will be forged!"

In that moment, I couldn't help but feel we _had_ lost. Either Vanitas would follow Xehanort's orders to save himself, or Sora would come back, but under Xehanort's control for _me_. I suddenly felt I had a true companionship with Naminé.

"No, I won't let you," Vanitas said with a tremble in his voice, but a strong resolve. I was quite surprised, actually.

Xehanort, however, remained unmoved. "Fine. We'll do this the fun way, and let both of you suffer simultaneously. It's there isn't it Vanitas? You two have started blending together. You love this girl because Sora does, doesn't you? He's set foot in your heart, and you're not you anymore. So what if I cut off her toes one by one, what if I scalp this girl? What if I possess Sora's friend Riku again, and finally let him _have_ her."

"NO!" And the voice, with only a slight difference, with only a bit of a higher pitch, was so evidently Sora's, that I was the one who broke under the pressure.

Somehow, Xehanort was torturing Vanitas, Sora, and me all at once. I fell to the ground in despair, but it didn't matter. Xehanort still had a hold of me. And I was crying now, but I didn't care. It was Sora that was suffering now. Sora in a pain I'd never heard from him before. I would always cry for Sora. "Stop. Please stop. I'll do whatever you want. Just please don't use him anymore. Don't _hurt _him anymore." Surprisingly, Vanitas/Sora—I didn't know which—sat down on the ground beside me. Regardless of who it was, I put my head on their shoulder.

"Kairi," he said. And I knew for sure that Sora was in control for now. I would get to see him again after all, but right now I wished I wouldn't have. Not like this. Still… I leaned into him further.

Our display of affection was not lost to Xehanort. He finally released me from my captivity. But I couldn't have cared less. The moment he didn't have to worry about me anymore, he kicked Sora in the chin with a particularly strong uppercut. "Sora!" I exclaimed as reflex, but it would always be that. I would never not worry about Sora. Though he'd crumpled to the ground, he held onto a strong façade. And seeing him being denied the chance to express himself, made me angry at myself. For holding things back from him. It was a crime that the both of us had ever been anything but open and honest with each other.

"Sora," I said, as I crawled over to him and wrapped him in my arms. For the moment, Xehanort seemed as captivated by Sora as I was. But the old man could have set my hair aflame and I wouldn't have noticed at the moment. "It's really you!"

Sora fixed his gaze in my direction at that. And despite the pain I saw, the love that shone like a beacon in his eyes told me one thing and one thing alone: he remembered me entirely; he loved me. His hand seemed to move of its own accord, as it seemed to be trying to memorize the feel of my face. "I love you, Kairi. So much. Always have,"

But the moment that should have been the best of my life—the moment I should have committed to memory forever—was soon ruined. The eyes that were looking back at me were gold and not blue. I should have really noticed this much sooner, but…

But I now saw what Xehanort had been waiting on. Picking Sora up by the neck before I could even react, I watched in horror as the life started to leave him. And I stupidly was frozen in shock. That right there is the most painful moment anyone could ever experience; seeing the one you love dying, but unable to stop it.

"You're weak, Sora!" Xehanort spat out as Sora tried to find any purchase of air. "Weak because you aren't pulling Vanitas' strings, weak because you so easily fall into traps, but weakest because the love you hold for this girl. This girl who can't even love you now. This girl who's meddling in Darkness will have her killed in a few month's time."

After that, and only after that, did Xehanort let Sora go. Feeling my limbs come to life, I skidded on the sand as I ran in haste to get to him. "Aero," I said as I willed him to get much needed air into his lungs. Somehow he looked at me gratefully, but also horrified. Xehanort seemed none the wiser to our brief exchange, and didn't even look at us when he continued, "But I still need you, Sora. And you will give me the X-Blade or I will rip every hair from this girl's body before I skin her alive."

"I can't!" Sora exclaimed desperately. I hugged myself to him in order to somehow calm him down. To somehow make him feel better, but even I knew it was in vain. What could possibly become better about this situation? "I won't lose Kairi again! And that's how we'd utilize Naminé, isn't it? You'd have to make me fully believe the lie. All three of us would be stuck in a world she created, and then…"

"And then Kairi will pull the strings, yes. Unknown to even Vanitas, I've had other reason to keep her alive through this. Only she can control the X-Blade. You other three will be too lost in your own minds to do so. Still… Kairi will do what I say with half of her will controlled by me. But that doesn't mean that I can't torture her a little first."

I expected Sora to immediately scoff at that idea, and jump up to defend me. I was quite surprised when I was the first one to draw my Keyblade and begin circling the man. I was like a lioness who's cubs had been threatened. As soon as I saw a moment of weakness, I would eagerly pounce. "And you really expect us to go along with this? Really? You're barking mad! Why would we ever? You can't possibly control us all at the same time, and there's no other way that-"

"Kairi-" Sora said warningly as he too stood up. He put a hand on my shoulder, but I glared at him and the contact. How dare he stop my beautiful tirade? Especially when I found such a hole in Xehanort's plans. "Kairi," Sora said after seeing the indignation in my eyes, "Vanitas is still in control of me. I've just broken free for the moment. But we have a friend. A friend that has been in the worst of Darkness. With him, he can show us a new path. Until then, we have to guild the past."

There was something in what he was saying. I knew he was trying to tell me something. I just didn't know what. Still, a huge smile spread across my face at the idea of besting Xehanort. At the idea of us all getting out of this unscathed.

Well, relatively unscathed. I doubted Naminé would ever be all right after everything. But even in insanity, Naminé had a saneness I couldn't keep up with. She wasn't afraid to do what was needed for her happy end. It must have been knowing that Sora was still in Vanitas' control that kept her out of this conversation. She only wanted Sora. Maybe if I allowed myself to be that selfish—to have demanded Sora take me with him before and after going to the End of the World—this never would have happened.

As I stood there in the even chiller wind, and darkening air obstructed by the sand, one thing became evidently clear. We all wanted something more than anything.

Naminé wanted Sora. I wanted Sora. Sora wanted me. Xehanort wanted the X-Blade. And Vanitas…

Vanitas wanted something he just might be able to have after all. Xehanort had one more trick up his sleeve.

Aqua, despite my efforts to keep her out of it all, had joined us after all. Sora dug his fingers into his head in agony. One minute he was screaming, and my love was in a pain I'd never even imagined before, the next minute… Sora was once again gone from me. Vanitas was back. And I wrongly wished it were Sora; even if he did have to live with pain.

For the first time since the Keyblade War, a downpour descended on the Keyblade Graveyard.

**Author's Note: And we're **officially** in the final arc! Only about five more chapters to go! **

**Hope you're all having a wonderful week. And I hope everyone else is excited about how good the last **_**HP**_** movie was. **

**By the way, I'm so psyched about the new Famitsu article. I voted in that survey, but I'm most happy for the new **_**3D **_**news. It's about time we got some.**

**Sora will be back for good next chapter. Hope you're as excited as I am! It reminds me of my excitement of **_**finally**_** playing current Sora again in **_**3D**_**.**

**And the name "Fire" though simple is inspired by that Fire to the Rain song. It seemed appropriate. Actually, each chapter name (besides having to do with fire) has something to do with the chapters if you can figure it out. LOL. **

**Oh! I wrote a Vanitas/Aqua fanfic for Alacquiene's birthday called "Savior". And though it wasn't intentional, it kind of has the feel of this story. So I've decided that the fanfic is the Vanitas/Aqua moment I hinted at in this story. So if you're curious about some of what happened between Vanitas and Aqua, and why Vanitas loves her in this, you can find that story on my profile. **

**Thanks, as always, to my readers, reviewers, and favoriters!**

**-Shan**


	16. Pyromaniac

**Author's Note: If you haven't read my story "Savior", you might want to. It'll just clear a lot of Vanitas/Aqua things up. Thank you.**

**Pyromaniac **

**(Sora's Point of View)**

Fuck.

I had been lucky to use my thought of Kairi, Riku, and my bond to free myself. Via Kairi's lucky charm, I was able to use the only thing left to me from the real world to summon Riku here. He'd be here in mere minutes most likely. It wasn't the perfect plan, but it was going accordingly.

Until… Master Xehanort had to be cheap and bring Aqua to the Keyblade Graveyard. Despite what Vanitas knew, seeing her had caught him off guard. He was doing everything in his power to stay with her, and I was nearly drowning in the memories I once thought a possible alternative to life.

Of course, it was all different when they were memories of Aqua. I did not care for her, but Vanitas' feelings and memories were pulling me under. I didn't doubt he'd convince me that I loved her—to not fight—the way I had affected him with Kairi earlier.

But my heart remained Kairi's, and it would no longer heed to illusions. I was falling asleep, but that wasn't a good scenario either. I needed to be free! The multiverse depended on it! Kairi and Riku depended on it. But what were they in comparison to Aqua?

_"Vanitas. Why are you attacking me?" Aqua asked as she brought her Keyblade up over her head to block what would have been a lethal blow. "I thought tha-"_

"_I told you that I would kill you the next time I saw you. I'm giving you a mercy. You won't want to live after what becomes of our friends. I, myself, might not survive the moment. Then you and I can be together!"_

"_You're using a predetermined prophecy of a madman to determine your fate! You're just afraid to forge your own destiny. Maybe you don't know how because you're not human, but-"_

Whatever she would have said next didn't matter to either of them. Aqua had aimed a Fission Firaga at him, and the two fought to kill.

Vanitas had felt dead at the time. I had been able to feel it from the memory, but I too had felt dead at times. The time that Donald and Goofy opted to leave me was one of the most excruciating times.

Donald! Goofy! My best friends, and Jiminy too. They had aimed to help me through this! Even at that resistance meeting they hadn't let me down. I hadn't known them then, and they never gave up on me. They never had given up on me, and I wouldn't give up on them. I would break free!

_"Aqua, are you still conscious?" Vanitas asked as he hesitated at driving his Keyblade through her heart._

_The memory staggered me for a moment. I thought I was free again—free in the Keyblade Graveyard—but of course I was wrong. _

_Aqua caught me off guard as she sighed in protest. She clearly did not want to talk to Vanitas. Still, he continued on as if nothing had happened. "Get away. I'm going to fight Ven, but you escape. Only then will you have the opportunity to help your friends. Don't think our Christmas meant nothing to me," at that Vanitas put a sleep spell on Aqua. It was unknown to Ven. Vanitas had known Ven would kill him. Ven loved Aqua too, and unlike Vanitas, Ven actually had a chance with her: that would drive him._

No. It was more than that. Vanitas had known that I would mend Ven's broken heart again. Even then he had played puppet master with me in the past. He knew the dynamics of me. Well… he did until I met Kairi. Everything changed after I met that breathtaking girl.

Everything… everything changed when Vanitas had met Aqua too! That was the key! Vanitas had always fooled himself before he possessed me. He made himself and others think he felt the way I did. It was how he went after Kairi those times. But more than that it was how all of this had started with Naminé. If I made Vanitas and Aqua believe I loved her, then I would be freed too!

So I allowed myself to go to the present. I allowed myself to look through my—Vanitas' eyes—as he ran to the girl he'd come to love. A girl that wouldn't fight him anymore. A girl that might have been as tired of existing as he was. "I should have let you kill me. There's too much pain now," Aqua said as she looked at us with a bit of thankfulness and tiredness.

I allowed myself to feel as conflicted as Vanitas at the change in her. I allowed myself to reach out to her, and really care for the girl. This girl that helped inspire the one I loved. This girl who was so connected to Kairi and me. How could I not appreciate her? "Don't say that, Aqua." I said as equally as Vanitas did.

"I can't hate you, Vanitas," Aqua said as she decidedly removed our hand from her shoulder. "You tried to help me. And I know you were a victim. In fact," she began with a wry humor as she swept her wet bangs from her face, "that moment that you put me to sleep, I entertained the idea that we might could be together. After I saved my friends, of course."

And my sadness was just as much as Vanitas' because _I_ had killed Ventus. Not directly or knowingly, but I had. I couldn't even blame Vanitas for that because we'd both been lost then. We'd been dying until Kairi stepped in…

"And then I fought you, anyway," Vanitas said bitterly, "I was lost by the power of the X-Blade. The false salvation that Xehanort had promised me. I'm sorry, Aqua."

Aqua put her fingers to our lips, and I willed myself to not look back at the fighting Xehanort and Kairi. I knew Kairi could hold her own, but she could only last so long against Xehanort. Naminé remained rooted to her seat behind Xehanort. Maybe she wanted him to win so she could own Vanitas' and my mind. "I'm long past blaming anyone. It is what it is. It's like how I can never hold Ven or… or Terra again,"

There was a certain difference in her voice when mentioning Terra. It was not lost to either of us, as I returned my attention to Vanitas and Aqua. "You love him," Vanitas said, and all though he was broken, he suddenly seemed like her teasing best friend.

"It doesn't matter," Aqua said as she shook her head dismally. "All that matters is winning this fight. I owe Ven and Terra that much. And I should put Terra out of his misery."

"You're using a predetermined prophecy of a madman to determine your fate," it was me that said it, but I couldn't help it. Maybe Vanitas thought it first. I don't know, but we both knew what was going to happen now as Aqua looked at us curiously. "Xehanort doesn't have as strong a hold on Terra as it seems. I've broken you, and promises too much, Aqua. I will fight one more time, but only to help give you Terra. It's the least I can give you. I never wanted you to lose yourself. Maybe if I had stopped this plan from the beginning, we would have been together. But you're right; it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters but ending this."

And though I was suddenly separating from Vanitas, I still felt it as he placed his lips to Aqua's and imagined ice-skating, a Christmas Eve, a memorial, and what could have been.

There was a flash of light, but I didn't see it as if looking through grainy water. No. I had my eyes back! And gold was not obstructing my vision. I was free. I was perfect! I distinctly heard Kairi scream my name, but I broke tradition and ignored her for the moment. Vanitas was standing in front of me, but he was ghostly now. Painted in Ven's white colored outfit, I was reminded of Roxas and Xion.

Like Roxas and Xion, he could still hold his Keyblade. Void Gear. No longer the X-Blade. I too had Oblivion and Oathkeeper again. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aqua raise Rainfell. And Kairi raised Destiny's Embrace. I stood in such a way that her Keyblade rested between mine again. We stood in a circle daring Xehanort to make a move.

Xehanort held onto his own Keyblade, and the Soul Eater sword Riku had once had. Lightning struck across the sky. I wasn't sure if it was natural or a spell, but one thing I was sure of: the final arc had come.

Kairi was the first to dash forward. It didn't surprise me, really. She had much concealed rage that she was finally allowed to act on. But I was nothing more than a concerned boyfriend at the best of times: I grabbed onto her arm, and pulled her back from the fray.

Bad move. Her arm was nearly severed by Vanitas' Void Gear as he shot forward towards Master Xehanort. Kairi was caught in the turbo of that attack. Always having been thin, she went flying backwards.

Aqua, I noticed, as I made sure Kairi was all right, was more of a defensive fighter. Using the magic she was skilled in, she backed us all up. I was especially appreciative of the healing spell she'd used on Kairi's injured arm. Kairi shot me a glare, and just like that ran back to join Vanitas.

It was time that I join this insane mix. I didn't like how close Vanitas and Kairi were fighting to each other. Vanitas may not have had qualms about fighting for Aqua and Naminé, but I didn't know where he stood with Kairi and myself. Vanitas was lacing his Keyblade up with Deep Freeze, and I knew all too well that Kairi would be in the way of it. Having been on the receiving end of that attack many times, I thought it best to spare Kairi from it.

I used a quick Fire spell, and stopped his attack long before it had the chance to power up. Vanitas was not too happy about this. Bringing Oathkeeper and Oblivion dangerously close to Kairi (but I knew _I_ wouldn't hit her), I aimed to fight off any attacks Vanitas might throw my way.

Kairi, as it was, was the only one to hold onto her sense; she put a hand on my shoulder and looked at Vanitas imploringly, "Don't fight each other, you two. We have bigger fish to fry. And us fighting amongst ourselves is what Xehanort wants. He's using Naminé to mess with us,"

That was true. Looking over at the pretty blond, her cowering frame was a huge contrast to the darkness around us. Could I really fault Nami for allying with Xehanort? At the moment he had all the cards. And who was to say Naminé didn't think we'd hurt her more for all she'd caused? No, I understood why Naminé was doing what she was. I just feared that she'd be killed, if by accident, before all was said and done. What a waste that would be! She'd never even _lived_.

"Sora!" The voice belonged to Aqua, and it was a clear reminder as to why one shouldn't get sidetracked in battle. If she hadn't used her interesting shield spell, I probably would have been dead. Xehanort was aiming to kill now if it came to it. And my worst nightmare was that these poor girls would suffer a terrible fate; a fate that I would be the cause of in a roundabout way.

I wanted to reach out to Aqua as she ran ahead with Rainfell at the ready, but what could I do? We all wanted Xehanort dead—Aqua probably more than anyone—but who was I to deny her her revenge? Especially when she seemed so skilled.

Their Keyblades met in deafening clangs and sparks as the two fought head-to-head. I could tell that Aqua had laced her Keyblade with magic, and as it seemed to expand and turn a ghostly white, I was reminded of my favorite Command Style: Blade Charge.

The problem with Blade Charge: it's near impossible to lug that sword around. Its powers came with a price. Even though Vanitas was shooting spell after spell to make up for Aqua's sudden slowness, I didn't think it would be enough.

Like Xehanort (Ansem Seeker of Darkness as I'd known him then) had done in my final fight with him at Kingdom Hearts, he had somehow enlarged Riku's old Soul Eater. It was much bigger than Aqua's Keyblade even with Blade Charge. And Xehanort still had his Keyblade to boot.

"No!" Kairi exclaimed as she temporarily switched back to using her Light powers. She'd been just fast enough to use a Pearl attack that deflected Xehanort's attack. But only just so. Aqua was severely injured now. She had a laceration going from her neck to her chest. One could easily heal it, but they needed time. As Rainfell returned to its normal state, I aimed to give Vanitas that.

Using my Keyblades as a sort of leverage, I aimed to steal one of Xehanort's weapons from him. But I overshot myself. His weapons were a much larger mass than mine. I spilled onto the ground as he aimed his Keyblade at my shoulder. And it hit its mark.

Blood seemed to squirt everywhere in my delirious vision. He'd hit me just where my shoulder and arm connected, but it was worse because I had a vein there. I was losing blood fast, and I was completely at Xehanort's mercy.

Surprising even me, I saw a whiteness that could only belong to Vanitas or Naminé's clothes. The two dueled over my head, and one of them retreated. I breathed in a sigh of relief as my arm was healed, and coherency returned to me. Yes, it had been Vanitas that saved me from Xehanort. "Why?" I asked as I tried to dab the blood off my mouth. How some had gotten there, I didn't know.

"Kairi healed Aqua. I owed her," he said no more than that as he stood up, slung Void Gear over his shoulder, and rejoined the fray.

I too stood up, but I had to recall my Keyblades to my side. I'd been unconscious for a short time, and they had left me. As I did so, I was met with something I'd never encountered before: memories. It was stupid to think about past moments on the battlefield, but I found I couldn't resist. They were calling me in, but I somehow felt I'd be better for them.

I looked at Oathkeeper, and as my eyes clouded over, I saw:

_"Roxas, I'm afraid of heights!" Xion exclaimed as he pushed her down a higher park slide after their last mission._

_Roxas laughed at Xion's shrill scream, but gathered her at the bottom of the slide, and coursed her into going down it again; he knew she was actually enjoying herself. "We sit on a fifty million story clock tower everyday, Xi. You _can't_ be afraid of heights!"_

_Despite Roxas' protest, Xion stayed at the bottom of the slide after her second time, and looked up at Roxas. She was abruptly serious. "Do you think Axel was right and we should have stayed with the Organization members?" Xion picked up some dirt and sprinkled it on her turquoise skirt. Perhaps she was willing the seriousness to ebb. _

_Roxas gave a resigned sigh, but even he knew that they needed to face the truth. "Axel has a point that there's safety in numbers, but Xigbar told us we're too easily found at The World That Never Was, and he's right. Sora's coming for us under Marluxia's orders. And Xigbar was always loyal to Xemnas. So if he gives us this advice…"  
_

"_I know," Xion said as she climbed back up the slide—without effort—and sat next to Roxas again, "but I don't trust the Organization, Roxas. All of this happened under their noses. Members have betrayed each other… and I miss Axel." Xion said the last bit pathetically, and sadly._

_Roxas, however, laughed at his sweet Xion. "I know. I miss him too. But if we can survive this, we'll all be together forever. Like we all wanted." Xion laid her head on Roxas' shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around her waist. When they turned to face each other, they would share their first kiss._

I came back from the memory gasping for air, but with the insane idea that I wanted to see more. Roxas and Xion were so much like Kairi and me! And I… I had killed them.

I looked at Oblivion, and found that Roxas wasn't averse to showing me more.

_This memory was extremely painful, and depressing. I tried my hardest not to imagine myself in Roxas' place. Most of all, I tried not to imagine Kairi in Xion's place._

_She was cut up pretty badly, but the way certain marks differed, I knew that she'd lost a duel, and was dying from blood loss. She had lost a duel to Vanitas—to me—and Roxas would have to suffer through losing her before he could join her himself. _

"_Xion, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have gone looking for him- we should have just hid forever! Oh, Xion!" _

_He cried at the last, and somehow in Xion's last moments, she was able to comfort him. She put up a hand and stroked his hair as he cried into her chest. "Roxas, I saw glimpses into him as we fought. I think I've known it all along—I'm made out of his memories, after all—but none of this is his fault. He's being controlled. And if you don't stop him, all the friends we made in the Organization—Tinker Bell, the Genie, Phil—will all die. Roxas, we have to do something. We have to use his love for Kairi. _Our_ love,"_

_As she saw the similarities between the four of us, as she reassured Roxas one more time that she loved him, she fell asleep and never awoke again. Still, her resolve had been enough, and it had been enough for Roxas. The two had found ways to help Kairi and me. To save me._

I was brought to the present with tears streaming down my face. Looking at Oathkeeper and Oblivion out of the corner of my eyes, I was surprised to see them both glow with a golden hue. They felt more durable somehow. But they also seemed lighter in my arms. It was only when I heard Roxas' voice again that it all made sense.

_She never blamed you. She was steadfast in helping you. But I always blamed you, but I knew I shouldn't have. I give you my full support now, and Xion continues to do so. Kill this monster and don't let my- _her_ death be in vain. _

As my limbs filled with power that belonged to my Nobody, Replica, and me, I knew I would win this battle. This battle that had really been a test of so many people's love. Too much was at stake if I didn't win.

Too much had already been lost! Surging forward, I threw Oathkeeper and Oblivion at the man who had caused all of our fates, but I was brought up short when Kairi and Aqua both repelled them.

I had been out of the fight too long. I had wanted to end it immediately, but maybe it was best I didn't. Kairi and Aqua were both pouring out torrents of tears, but I was more shocked at Aqua's than Kairi's. What had happened that could have broken Aqua so? What did she have to lose?

The answer hit me sooner than I finished the thought. "Vanitas is…"

Aqua's stiff nod was enough of an answer. Kairi crossed over and held Aqua in her arms as they both let their emotions have them. I didn't really know what to do with the knowledge, myself. Vanitas had originally been a part of Ven, but there was no denying he'd become a part of me. Would I have been hurt by the loss of him if Roxas and Xion weren't empowering me?

"Riku," Kairi said facing in a direction opposite of Aqua; only then did I realize the awful truth. "Riku, I won't leave you! I'll stay by your side until the end. I'll do what Aqua did with Vanitas, and comfort you through this all, but Riku you are not _him_! Don't let him control you now. Not again. Not after we got Sora back!"

As I finally willed myself to look where Kairi was, I was unable to keep from crippling to the ground. Why? Because it was my fault! I'd called Riku here to help us, and now… now Xehanort was possessing him again.

Pulling out Kairi's lucky charm, I held onto it and prayed. I prayed that the love of my life, Kairi's Master, Naminé, and my best friend would all make it out of this alive. Kairi, who must have duplicated her lucky charm, seemed to be doing the same.

"How dare you speak to him like that Princess when all you've ever done is chase after his best friend? It's through his pain over you that he succumbed so easily," Xehanort had a smirk on his face, and oh how I hated him for it.

My hate was forgotten for a moment as I looked at Aqua. She was saying Terra's name under her breath, and she had a dead look on her face.

No sooner had she betrayed her feelings for the brute, did he aim a particularly strong blow to her knee. Grunting in pain, she was able to cartwheel away while Kairi performed a quick healing spell. For a second, none of us moved. If we attacked Xehanort, we'd be attacking Riku. Terra in Aqua's case. There was only so many times you could attack a loved one before feeling broken for it.

Xehanort didn't have any qualms about attacking us, however. But worse was that he had no issue attacking innocence. Naminé, who had nothing to do with what was currently going on, was the first to suffer. Xehanort cut a diagonal stripe down Naminé's chest. I grunted in pain the moment she did. I all too well knew what that felt like. I still had the scar in which I'd freed Kairi's heart.

I felt a particular tug from Oathkeeper, and then Oblivion (Roxas would follow Xion in anything), and not of my own accord, I dashed to Naminé and healed her; a second later, I was hurtling through the air as I rained Aero spells down on Xehanort. They didn't do much, but they were still satisfying. If anything, they were giving us needed time, as the man tried to speed away from the wind torrents I was creating.

Xehanort was not a defensive fighter though. I knew all too soon he'd be attacking me relentlessly. If I could just defend myself until one of the girls came up with _something_…

Kairi seemed the most keen to try her luck. Perhaps it was because it was our best friend we were fighting, but she came over to us while we were in the middle of a spar—and the thought of how much like our old spars this was, was painful—and stood in such a way that Xehanort could not get to her if he wanted to defeat me. "Riku, why would you think that I don't love you? You know I do! For so many years I entertained the idea of marrying you and Sora both. Why did you-"

I did not hear the rest of Kairi's words. No, I was hit by an epiphany that made all kinds of sense. What was Riku going through but what I had with Vanitas? In fact, what was Terra going through? I'd figured out how to escape from Vanitas. Riku and Terra just had to find the way! They both loved the water maidens present. Xehanort had seemed to be taunting Kairi, but how did we know it wasn't really Riku's will breaking through? Kairi seemed to realize that, too.

"Riku you belong with me, but you belong with Sora too. The three of us belong together. That was the way it was always meant to be! So fight it, Riku. Don't let all those months we fought—all those times we fought together—be in vain!"

For a moment, it seemed as though my best friend was thinking over what Kairi had said, but I watched in slow motion as Xehanort carelessly stepped around me, and aimed his Keyblade at Kairi's head. I wouldn't be fast enough to block the hit this time: Kairi would die!

Still, I tried to jump in the way of her. But when all seemed lost, something happened that I would have never dared hope for: Naminé's Keyblade came flying by as though it had wings, and Xehanort's Keyblade was knocked out of the way. Kairi fell to the ground panting, and I instantly followed suit. I wrapped Kairi up in my arms, but also Naminé as she scooted closer to us. Would I ever stop owing Naminé? As I looked into her lovely, pale blue eyes (so much like Kairi's and mine), I knew that the answer was "no".

It was how I would never be able to stop owing Aqua. As I saw a streak of blue walking towards the stunned Xehanort, I realized what part of the problem all along had been.

Riku, as if agreeing to my assumption, was miraculously thrown to the ground. Naminé rushed over to check on him, but Kairi and I remained stunned. What if he was-

A cough and a glare from Riku was enough to assure me that he was just fine. He smirked at me, and I was about to walk over to him with my Kairi, but I was stopped by Aqua's progression. She was standing in our way. No. She was standing right in front of Xehanort.

She lifted a hand to his cheek, and I steeled my muscles. I would act in a moment's notice if needed. But the attack never came. I watched, stunned, as Xehanort put his hand atop hers. Even though I suspected this, I wasn't prepared for the overwhelming truth that a part of Xehanort had come to love Aqua.

For a moment, all they did was stand there. The only movement from them was from their feet, as they tried not to fall in the sandy slush. Lightning struck across the sky; for a moment, just a moment, I thought I saw brown hair and blue eyes, but when they were replaced by white and gold, I had to wonder if I'd really seen anything.

Finally, "I never should have fought you, Terra. I should have tried to show you the Light. I thought I was saving you in sacrificing myself, but maybe if I'd stayed with you, you would have been freed a long time ago. But more than that, I'm sorry for-"

Aqua's words were cut off as Xehanort—Terra—came forward (even more ghostly than Vanitas had been) and pressed his lips to hers. They weren't tangible, and his lips went through hers, but they still didn't break apart. For a moment I allowed myself to be happy for them, to believe in happy endings again, but they broke apart the moment I became broken for them.

Terra was still connected to Xehanort by a wisp of smoke: a wisp of the heart. "I'm still connected to him, Aqua," a voice that was clearly not Xehanort's said, "and Xehanort's been leeching off of me for too long. I can't be free, but I don't care anymore. I'm going to destroy him. I'm going to destroy myself."

"NO!" Aqua exclaimed in a tone I'd never heard from her before, "Terra, please. I already lost the Master and Ven. Don't make me lose _you_ forever!"

Terra put a hand forward to stroke away Aqua's tears, but I knew it was only meant to comfort. This battle had been long lost. "It's for them that I have to do this, Aqua. You have no other chance. Don't pass it up, Master Aqua. Show me what you're made of,"

And just like that, the foggy image had faded away. But it wasn't lost to me that Terra seemed to give me a significant look before he was gone. It was like how I thought I heard the discreet words, "I love you," towards Aqua, but it also might have been the wind. Soon the voice was gone too. All that was left was Xehanort, but he looked… weaker. Terra was fighting him from the inside.

Unsurprisingly, Aqua was the one to deliver the first blow. She wasn't going to deny Terra's wishes ever again. Even his dying one. I just hated what it would do to her to do this. Things were going well, but then Xehanort did something none of us expected somehow: he disappeared. But not before taking Naminé with him.

For a moment, all anyone could do was look at each other in shock. I tried my best to sense where he might have gone, but without Vanitas—without Darkness—I had no chance of dissecting Dark Corridors.

Kairi, however, infuriatingly still had powers that were killing her. Riku thought the same thing as I did as he grabbed Kairi's arm roughly, and told me, "Go."

"No!" Kairi argued back with fire in her eyes. "If you think I'm letting you do this alone- if you don't think he has a backup plan to create the X-Blade with Naminé-"

"Riku's right," in all honesty, I felt like a traitor in abandoning Riku. Kairi must have thought the same thing as she looked at me furiously, but I wasn't going to take the chance of Kairi harming herself any further.

"We're not leaving you alone!" Kairi screamed as she broke free from Riku's hold, and stepped away from me.

"He won't be alone," Aqua finally spoke up. Her strength in a situation like this was respectable and saddening. "We can handle this, and we're wasting time. If you're ready, Riku…"

Not having to be told twice, Riku made a Corridor of Darkness. The way the tendrils snaked out at Kairi seemed to be enough to convince her not to run through. Aqua was quick to run through, but just when Riku was nearly through, he paused and looked at me. "I don't want you two fighting anymore. Despite everything, you've found a happy ending for yourselves. Do _not_ put that at stake," He gave me a hug that was as quick as somewhat might blink, and was gone.

I opened up a Corridor of Light, and picked Kairi up in my arms again (I did not trust this Corridor might not try to stop the "traitor" from going through it), and went through it with no idea what would happen next.

**Author's Note: So I put the "(Sora's Point of View)" thing at the top so you guys would remember, but from now I'm not going to. Just remember everything will be from Sora's POV now, kay?;)**

**I'm not going to say much. Don't want to distract from the epic-ness. LOL. But I'd just like to thank ****Kutlessrocker and CadeXHybrid for reviewing last chapter. And thanks to everyone who's read, story alerted, favorited, and reviewed. We're nearing the forty review mark! Wonder if we can get to fifty by the end…**

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**-Shanna **


	17. Combustion

**Combustion**

"Well this seems oddly familiar," I said as I carried Kairi through the Corridor of Darkness. Her feet were swishing and swaying with my movements, and I had to fight the urge to laugh out loud.

Kairi was not appeased. As it was, she didn't seem to want to talk to me. At that I couldn't help but sigh. Why did we always have to be at each other's throats in some way? Speeding up, I thought it best to have this conversation somewhere less dangerous to Kairi. If anything, we'd probably go somewhere more dangerous for _me_. Surely Kairi would find _something_ to throw at me.

Surprising me, Kairi said something under her breath, but she did so in a quiet voice. I knew this wouldn't bode well, but still I had to ask, "What?"

Proving that Kairi didn't need various items to be aggressive, she slapped me upside the head, and said darkly, "I'll absorb Naminé. That'll simplify things for everyone."

And it was not lost to me, even if I hadn't regained my memories, what sort of person Kairi was. It made me furious, but made me love her all the more. I stroked a hand through her hair a bit stiffly as I said, "Let me guess, there's a high chance you might die at that, right? Why do you think we're not fighting alongside Riku now?"

"How dare you imply I have no self control?"

"Don't kid yourself, Kairi. If Riku and me were about to get killed, what would you do?"

Silence. That was all that followed our little quarrel as we stared each other down. Kairi moved in my arms, but I wasn't an idiot. She wasn't going anywhere and she could see that too. Instead of anger, she opted for something that was every man's downfall: seductiveness. "Don't tell me you wouldn't die for me, Sora."

She was batting her eyelashes, turning around in my arms, and wrapping her legs around my wais- no. I would not be distracted. "Of course I would, Kai. Riku would, too. But the difference is we haven't been gambling with our lives this year. We'd have a better chance of surviving than you. Especially if you use your Dark powers. I'll go help Riku if needed, but-"

"NO! I refuse to sit on the sidelines while you risk your lives. I've proved myself, and I deserve to fight in this fight. I won't be the stupid, compliant girl that let you leave me twice."

And she had me there, but she didn't press it like I thought she would. She was keeping something from me, and I knew she wouldn't give me any answer as she turned from my gaze, and put up a million mental walls. "Kairi you were never stupid or complaint. You did what was right even back then. And must I remind you that it was your lucky charm that saved me so many times? If things hadn't happened the way they did, I never would have gotten your charm, and I'd probably still be under Naminé's spell. Kai, I'm going to ask you to never insult that young girl ever again. I love her, after all."

And as the truth finally dawned on Kairi, I saw a Light fill her face and being. For a moment, I imagined it would be enough to save her from the forces reeking havoc within her. Elements and memories. I prayed especially for the memory one. Lugging around misplaced guilt was never a good thing. Especially if she truly believed that she could have stopped me from falling for Nami if she'd been there or something. Naminé would have just created another lie-

I was distracted from my thoughts as Kairi wrapped her arms around me, rose herself up, and breathed in my scent. "You really did?" She asked the rhetorical question against my neck. "Thank you," she said without need of another confirmation.

And at that I had to laugh. To laugh like I hadn't in along time. It was freeing and oh so funny that she wouldn't think to say, "I love you" back. I knew she did, of course; her habit of good manners had just made her make a silly mistake.

And Kairi must have caught on to her slipup because she too began laughing up a storm. There was so much mirth in her eyes, and I found myself drowning in their safety and beauty. _This_ was the Kairi I loved. The Kairi that had saved me. the Kairi I'd fight for until my dying breath.

And maybe it was the abrupt seriousness of the thought that made me sober up. Kairi, too, followed suit. And as we looked deeply into each other's eyes, we became lost.

I wasn't really sure who kissed who first. But I was very aware of Kairi pulling at me by my crown necklace (it would probably break by the strength she was exerting). I was also aware of her shimmying her socks off her feet as I held her by my arms. She tried to remove my shirt, and I instinctively moved my lips to her neck. She let out a pained gasp, and I immediately pulled away.

For a moment, I felt as though I'd hurt her somehow, but as I saw the Light swoop around her, and the red sheen on her skin—as if she'd recently been burned—I cursed. I was so stupid! Sure Kairi hadn't put up a fight, but she was my responsibility like I'm sure I was hers. I should have remembered—even through a passion fogged mind—what these Corridors of Light might do to her. I should have definitely not planned to stay here with her to do pleasuring activities.

Doing what I should have done to begin with, I swooped her into my arms again, and held her lightly as not to be tempted again. I thought of Agrabah for some reason, and when I closed my eyes and opened them again, we were there.

I instantly let her down, as I was now the angry and untrustworthy one. Agrabah's temperatures would affect us soon, and I didn't want to be too close to Kairi when her sweaty clothes became glued to her.

"Sora, I'm sorry," Kairi said sadly. Helplessly. I was purposefully walking towards the desert, but I had to whirl around at that. What did _she_ have to be sorry for? She didn't do anything stupid without thinking of her significant other. Could I ever trust myself around her?

"Sora-"

Kairi had stepped forward to put a hand on my shoulder, but I instantly removed it. "Don't touch me, Kairi." I did, however, heal her burns without touching her. Even in my anger I was able to remember that needed job. Why then hadn't I remembered the aggressive Light wanting to hurt her when we were together moments ago? When we were happy?

Pivoting on my foot, I began heading for Main Street, but as Kairi fired a particularly nasty Blizzard spell at my head, I stopped in my tracks. Once again, we glared at each other; it wasn't until Kairi broke the silence that we stopped. "I'm _fine_, Sora,"

And it was quite expected that I snap at that. Taking inspiration from Kairi, I aimed a Gravity spell at some sand. It didn't do anything, but it made me feel a bit better. Especially when I exclaimed, "How are you fine? How is any of this fine?"

And not only Kairi caught onto what the real problem was: I was infuriated and felt guilty about all Kairi had had to go through. By definition, she was anything but fine.

Approaching me slowly, Kairi placed a hand to my cheek, and I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief at the contact. "Sora, we both were silly back there. But everything's fine now. Everything we'll _be_ fine,"

And just like that, I gently took Kairi into my arms and rested my chin against her head. "You're right, Kairi. I'm being stupid. I really just feel like I'm failing you all over again, but we have to face everything together now. And I'm sorry for snapping at you. It's not even you I was mad at."

Kairi lightly, and quickly kissed my lips, but it was enough to ignite the spark again. I would have loved to continue what we started in the Corridor of Light, but we had other things to worry about. I just had to believe we'd make it through and be together forever.

"Sora, I'm so glad you're back. I'm so glad you're fully you. _Please_ don't leave me again."

In response to that, I stepped away from Kairi. She looked at me curiously, but it turned it to a happy look when I used a Fire spell and made it imitate fireworks around us.

It would have been the perfect moment, but everything changed as I saw someone out of the corner of my eye. And I knew all too well what my spell would have looked like to an outsider. I knew all too well why I'd been surprised that I'd chosen Agrabah in the Corridor of Light.

"Kairi, get behind me," and Kai must have noted the change and seriousness in my tone, because she listened.

But all went to Hell and back when she saw who I aimed to protect her from. "Aladdin?" Kairi asked, as she tried to wiggle out from behind me to see my old friend better.

Giving up on trying to hold her back, I turned around to face her (not fancying the idea of turning my back on the enemy), and looked at her smolderingly. All I had was going into this look, but it was worth it. I knew we had to get out of here. "Kai, if you ever loved me, listen just this once."

And that was enough to halt her acrobatic moves, but I could see the contempt on her face. "Aladdin, it's not what you thi-"

Too late. Aladdin had officially run towards me with his sword drawn. Always being a fast little devil, I barely had enough time to duck, parry, and create obstacles in his path. I hated be on the defensive, but I didn't want to hurt my own friend because of a misunderstanding.

Kairi, however, didn't seem to want to spare Aladdin as I did. Jumping into the fray, Kairi used darkened Destiny's Embrace, and it was just what I wished _wouldn't_ happen. On the sidelines, I could see a shrouded feminine figure move our way. If I didn't do someth-

"Aladdin, have you completely lost your mind?" Kairi exclaimed as she, ironically, used a Fire spell similar to Fireworks. The Genie wouldn't leave us alone for too long.

Pushing behind me, I knocked Kairi to the ground. As she skidded across the concrete, I tried not to think about the burns I'd probably just made on her newly healed skin. "Kairi, I thought I sai-"

I was cut off by a particularly wide gash in my forehead. Son of a bitch! He would attack me while I was dealing with Kairi. There was no honor among thieves. Then again, I wasn't exactly one to talk.

I mentally recited a healing spell, and stepped towards Aladdin. With each step I took, he took a step back. If anything, I was glad that I gotten Kairi out of the spotlight. The last thing I needed was for Jasmine—who was still hiding in peasant's clothes—to notice Kairi had a Darkness about her. Then she might very well become Public Enemy no. 1. I, at least, deserved it.

Throwing my Keyblade to the ground (though it didn't do anything but return to my heart), I willed Aladdin to understand I meant him no harm. If I could just get Jasmine out of here, maybe Aladdin wouldn't be so on the defensive. "Go," Aladdin said to Jasmine; it was as if he was heeding to my request.

"Kairi, you go, as well," I knew as soon as I said it that she wouldn't listen, but it was worth a try.

Jasmine denied consent, but not before Kairi did. Walking over to me, and literally stomping her feet, Kairi draped her arms around my neck in a chokehold. Rather she meant to strangle me for trying to get rid of her, or was merely illustrating a point by hanging on to me, I didn't know.

Still… I was nothing but a desperate man. "Kai…" I began, but I knew all the while that it was a mistake.

In her ire, Kairi cast a particularly nasty Aero spell around me. As it cascaded up my lungs, I was sharply reminded of the scene we'd just left in the Keyblade Graveyard.

Kairi, as it was, was thinking the same thing. "If you think I'm going to leave you after _everything_, I don't know why you broke free of Vanitas back there. Maybe you should go back to La La land, Sora."

As Kairi gripped her Keyblade tighter, I wished more than anything I could articulate to Aladdin that _Vanitas_ had attacked Jasmine. I also wished I could assure everyone that I wasn't controlling Kairi.

As Jasmine raised her hood, I saw everything I didn't want to remember. Gashes in her cheeks, scars running down her face… her left eye still looked slightly puffy from where I'd hit her. Marluxia may not have wanted the Princesses to have control over Kingdom Hearts, but Vanitas had wanted to have fun in his attempt to kill her.

As Jasmine spoke, I knew she would damn Kairi and myself both, but I knew she was justified in my account. They needed to see that Kairi was good though. And I knew that they never would. "Kairi," Jasmine said whilst accenting all my fears in coming here, "I sense Darkness within you. This evil person is controlling you, but you needn't fight. If I summon the Genie-"

It was Aladdin, not I, that scoffed at her words and cut her off, "Like Sora doesn't deserve to see her hurt. Like Kairi doesn't deserve this for allowing herself to be used by him. I say we kill them both. Iago, if no one else, will back me up."

Iago? That evil parrot from the first time I was here? The one that had helped Jafar? Aladdin was okay with him, but would harm Kairi? I would have last at the ridiculousness of the situation if it had been someone else.

"Along time ago, you were a Diamond in the Rough, Aladdin. Don't tell me your goodness has gone, too." And I was sad about the idea of it. Aladdin had been a good force in an evil world, he had been a good ally; above all else, he'd been a good friend. "Anyway, I'm not going to let you hurt Kairi, so-"

"Sora…" if it had been anyone else but Kairi, I wouldn't have turned my back on the enemy, I wouldn't have lost focus, but Kairi would always come first. I especially didn't like the brokenness in her voice. "Sora, I can't open a Corridor."

Why she was trying to open a Corridor in her condition was lost to me, but that was a discussion for a later time. Because if we couldn't open Corridors, we may very well end up killing our friends in self-defense. And we needed to find a way to get to Riku, Aqua, and Naminé.

Jasmine smirked in a way I never thought her capable of at Kairi's words, "The Genie's made sure that no evil doers will escape without facing punishment."

And as she rounded on Kairi, preparing to use Light powers that I knew would kill her, I lost it. Using a bit of the telekinesis, I had unlocked with _my_ Light powers, I used the tendrils to hoist Aladdin and Jasmine up into the air. I had a coil around Jasmine's neck, but I knew I wouldn't kill her. I was just trying to make them see some sense. "Where is the Genie then, hmm? It sounds like you're using him for slave labor again. I thought you were supposed to be above controlling him, Aladdin. I thought you were his friend!"

"Don't you _dare_ talk to me about friendship, Sora." Proving just how friend like we were now, Aladdin hurtled his sword at Kairi. Using a Stop spell and Kairi's Shield, we were just able to stop it in its tracks.

We didn't, however, count on Aladdin's flexibility. He dove and grabbed the knife, before jumping over our heads and moving near the desert. "I know you could find a way out in the Cave of Wonders, but I won't let you. But maybe I'll find something in there to use against you."

At that, he began running in the direction of the Giant Panther head, but I didn't fancy the idea of a fight in that dangerous place. Instead, I tapped Kairi on the shoulder. She looked at me curiously—and though she was still keeping an eye on Jasmine—she listened to me when I asked, "Can you get us out of here via Keyblade Glider?"

I didn't want to think about how I—Vanitas—had attacked her when we learned she had the ability, but if the ancient way would save us (save her), I would think about it forever if it was the price that was needed.

Pressing the plate on her other arm (her right one), her armor came into place, but as she threw her Keyblade to create a Glider nothing happened. She also didn't seem capable of unlocking the Lanes Between.

Then, and only then, did I realize the unmistakable truth. A truth that no one else knew. A truth that might make Jasmine and Aladdin even more dangerous if they thought we were lying.

"Kairi, we're not in Agrabah," and we weren't! That's why things had been so weird in the Corridor of Light! Why I'd been surprised to choose Agrabah. Our minds were working sluggishly because, "We're in a world Naminé created."

I had the disorienting feeling of seeing everything absorb around me, but Kairi was doing so, too. If she didn't realize the truth she'd be left behind! "It all makes sense doesn't it?" I spoke so fast that I could barely make out what I was saying, but she needed to see the truth! "Think about what Xehanort said, Kai! He was going to put Vanitas, Naminé, and me into a world of Nami's! We'd be so lost you were going to have to wield the X-Blade."

Kairi was looking at me curiously now, but she still wasn't getting it. What was worse was that I was starting to come apart at the seams. She needed to understand! "Don't you see? Before we left, Naminé unknowingly put us into that world! Except you and her are so intricately connected, Xehanort just put you here, and is going to have Naminé get the X-Blade!"

Horror. Pure horror. That was the only way one could explain the look on Kairi's face. Still, she wished to combat what I said. I understood: I wanted Riku to have a better chance, too. "But Vanitas is gone…" Kairi said pathetically. Hopefully.

"I don't think he is. By all accounts, Roxas and Xion should be gone, but their ghosts rest within me. Kai, we have to get out of here! It's only a matter of time before Naminé gets the X-Blade. If she gives it to Xehanort, Riku and Aqua won't stand a chance!"

Latching my hand onto Kairi's, I breathed in a sigh of relief as I felt her form start to breakup. At least one thing was going right: we wouldn't be separated now. But how does one breakout of a prison of their mind? Especially since Naminé was a memory witch. Were things already hopeless?

"Sora," Only when Kairi spoke did I take her in our new surroundings. Where would we be but a place where Light is expansive? Cursing to myself, I ran to Kairi and was going to cradle her in my arms (If I needed to, I'd let in Darkness into my own heart to combat the Light tormenting her), but she didn't allow me to. "I can manage this!"

And her voice was so confident and commanding that I had to believe her. "Sora, do you think we even left the Keyblade Graveyard? Wouldn't it make sense if we were still there, but just in a coma like state? I can't imagine Xehanort will have wanted us to wander out of his control."

There was something true to what she said, but I couldn't help thinking she was wrong somehow. At least that there was more to it than we knew. "I don't know, Kai. I don't think Xehanort would mind risking it. I know for a fact that Naminé's power—though strained—can work over long distances. And on the off chance that we did wake up, I don't think he'd want us anywhere near him to combat him. I don't think he'd want us to have any idea where he is."

"You're underestimating his arrogance," Kairi said as she walked forward and circled her arms around my waist. The action didn't fit her words, but I was thankful for it nonetheless. "Sora," Kairi said in a whispered tone that was meant only for lovers, "I don't think he'd doubt his 'perfect plans' or his strength. We may very well be in the Keyblade Graveyard, but that's not important now. We have to find a way out of here."

I turned around in her arms and leaned my forehead against her own. It was so tempting to just stay here. To not have the weight of the world on our shoulders for once. But though I wanted to make up for lost time, I knew we couldn't leave Riku, Aqua, and Naminé. I especially couldn't leave Kairi to the Light that enveloped us. "Do you remember when we met subconsciously without realizing it? I think you had pink hair in my mind."

Kairi laughed at that, and put a hand to my cheek. She also leaned forward and kissed my nose. "The things I do for you Sora! If I hadn't held onto our memories, your heart would have collapsed. More than that, everyone would have forgot you!"

"Because that's so much worse than the fact I would have died," I said with an eye roll, but a smile just the same. "Don't you find it interesting that I knew I wasn't in love with Naminé in the dream world?"

Kairi shrugged at this, but though the action remained nonchalant, I could sense that she was beginning to see eye to eye with me. "Well, dreams have a way of showing us what we actually know to be the truth. In that case, Naminé's world has holes in it. So that means-"

"Snow," I said, but just as I did, real snow started falling down atop us. It did nothing to lighten my mood, and I had to seriously restrain myself from casting fire spells. If I didn't know this would be the key to our freedom, I probably wouldn't have. Bad things always happened to me when it snowed.

"Sora, what are you talking-" I effectively silenced Kairi by kissing her. I wasn't really sure why I did it. Maybe I was making up for times that I hadn't been myself. Maybe I was just jubilant that I'd undoubtedly found a way out of here. Whatever the reason, I picked Kairi up and spun her around as I kissed her. I even ruffled her hair for added measure.

It was Kairi that had to back away, and I sensed it was only to get some answers from me. "What's the matter with you, Sora?" Kairi said sternly, but with a blush all the same.

"I'm sorry, Kai. But even though we've been royally screwed over, I can't help but value this alone time with you. I'm _me_ again! Solely me! And I remember everything! And I love you! I love you, and I can say it without worrying about how I should love Naminé, and-"

I shut up when Kairi put a finger to my lips, but I would have done so anyway if she'd just asked.

After everything that had happened, I wasn't afraid to do whatever Kairi wanted. To be whatever she wanted. Anything was better than seeing images of me hurting her over and over again.

As she smiled—a real Kairi smile that I hadn't seen since I was fourteen—I couldn't help but put my hands behind my head. With my trademark pose, I smiled a wide smile as I tilted my head to get a closer look at her. "Kairi, I-"

I had been about to explain all of this to her, but as she frowned, I stopped myself. That wasn't the sort of look I wanted to see from her at all. "Focus, Sora," Kairi said. That was all it took to bring the situation home again. To remember just what kind of predicament we were in. "Not that I don't like seeing you like this, but you're acting like you've inhaled laughing gas or something. That's exactly what Xehanort would want! If we're happy here, we won't even attempt to mess his plans up. Now: what did you mean about 'snow' besides the obvious?"

I jumped forward at that, and took Kairi's hands in my own as I jumped up and down with her. I was still being silly, yes. But I hadn't lost my head this time. "Snow. That Serah's boyfriend. I think he's here, Kai. Marluxia had said that Snow was gone, but I don't remember killing him. And what other 'gone' is there? Prisoner, right?"

Kairi had begun to beam at this. I could tell she liked the idea, but she wasn't ADHD like me. I knew she hadn't caught up to the craziness like I had. Or maybe she just didn't realize how insane Marluxia and Xehanort had both been. "Sora," she said bringing my attention back to the present again. "I don't understand. How could he be here?"

"Because, Kai. Marluxia and Xehanort had close to the same plan. Both revolved around you behaving. After all, didn't Snow go missing around the time Marluxia kidnapped you to reset my memories? He kept him prisoner to use as a ransom, but the idiot forgot to tell you that. Kairi, Snow's here! Marluxia too was going to have Naminé control our minds. Doesn't that stand to show he what have put us here? And what better place to put Snow so the resistance couldn't find him?"

And as I'd gone head to head with the resistance (and had seen Marluxia's detest for it firsthand), I knew the resistance would have found him if he'd been anywhere else.

Kairi, as she looked at me with gleaming eyes and a wide smile, threw her arms around me and buried her face into my chest. "So by finding Snow we can save him, but not only that! You think by being here he'll have learned to navigate this place, right?"

I was unable to answer for a moment as Kairi kissed every inch of my face. "No, Kairi," she stopped kissing me as the words registered. For a moment she looked at me horrified. "Kairi, I think Snow _is_ the key. We just have to find him. After all, dreams have a way of showing us what we actually know to be the truth. Let's believe that I know what I'm talking about."

**Author's Note: And I finally wrote a filler chapter. Woot! I don't know if you guys are glad for it, but I am. This story has been too much action to write. I think the story needed a quick breather.**

**Besides, there was actually a lot of importance in this chapter. Even if I did throw you a curve ball, but I'm hoping this entire chapter made sense by the end of it. If not, feel free to ask me what you're confused about.**

**And who else was glad to see cute canon-ish SoKai? They deserved this break and moment together. After all, this is the first time in the story when Sora was completely free, and himself: where Sora and Kairi could temporarily be together without having to worry about something. I loved writing this, and I hope you enjoyed it!**

**I'm also glad (or sad) to see more of the calamity Sora (Vanitas) caused. Though Aladdin and Jasmine were actually figments of Sora's imagination in this, he's not too far off on how they'd act if they saw him.**

**Wow. They're like Projections from **_**Inception**_**. LOL. This whole part is kind of **_**Inception**_**-y.**

**Also, I'm glad Serah will get her Snow back! At least some people will get happy endings. LOL. **

**Four chapters left! See you soon!**

**-Shanna **


	18. Detonate

**Detonate**

Kairi had Destiny's Embrace at her side. She was preparing to fight anything that moved most likely. I didn't really blame her. If this were a dream world, we'd probably be subject to our nightmares. Then again, if one was able to keep the demons at bay, this area could become a paradise. It was quite the conundrum.

"So do you think Snow will be in a scary or happy place?"

Kairi raised an eyebrow and laughed at that, but I could hear the hollowness in her voice. She was as worried as I was. "I thought you knew what you were doing?" Kairi asked part jokingly part seriously.

I held her hand in my own as I walked forward with her. The last thing we needed was to get separated ever again. Honestly, I wished I _had_ a better idea of what to do. Maybe if I did, Kairi wouldn't be so reliant on her darkened Keyblade. Maybe she wouldn't be dying.

"That's right! I'm quite the guru after everything, aren't I? Allow me to think like a madman again!" I hated the words, but as they served in cheering Kairi up, I couldn't really resent them. Now if I just allowed them to be true, maybe…

"Kairi," I said with a quiet and somber tone. There was nothing like surprising her with my genius. "We're agreed that this world isn't real, right? Naminé just wrote a fake world into our memories: we just had to go to some form of one, right?"

"Yes," Kairi said as she somehow simultaneously stomped on my foot in annoyance (she knew I was holding out on her), and scanned our surroundings.

"Well," I said as I jokingly wrapped an injured leg around one of hers for a moment (When she leaned into me, I thought it best to let go. We didn't need playful to turn into sexual.), "wouldn't you venture Snow would be in the memory where you first noted he was gone? I'd imagine this whole place is just a stack of memories," I said quickly and concisely to hold onto my point.

"Right," How Kairi was able to keep up with me I had no idea. But she had shown herself to be as crazy as I was as she looked out into the open, and a pink room started to show up before us. As black stripes started to appear all over—more accurately when I saw Mr. Cutie-Patootie again—I knew what she was doing. "If I recreate that moment, then we'll surely find him."

As the room came into fruition, so did the scene in which Kairi had first learned of Snow's disappearance. She was sitting in what had been her nursery in Ansem the Wise's castle. The silly stuffed animal (that I'd stolen many times as a child just to see her smile when I returned it) was dangling precariously from his collar as she held him. She buried her face into her pink bedding and pillows. Oddly enough, Memory Kairi said, "I should make everything red," before Serah came crashing onto the scene.

I'd been about to ask Kairi, "No Monsieur Moo?" But as Kairi's attention remained entirely on the scene at hand—as Kairi's friend Serah was a complete wreck—I thought it best to not downplay the moment. Especially since the events had been real. They seemed surreal to me, but I'd never seen this happen. I hadn't been _me_ at the time.

"Serah?" Memory Kairi exclaimed, as she dove over her bed and vanity to get to the weeping girl. "Serah, what's wrong?" Kairi asked with adrenaline about her. Moments ago she had seemed to want to go to sleep and never wake up. Now, she was caring for the girl I knew she regretted never truly befriending. Kairi tentatively placed her hands on Serah's shoulders as the girl faced her.

"I'm sorry, Kairi," Serah said as she took a deep breath and calmed herself. She seemed to be counting, and for some reason it reminded me of the military. I would soon find out how true the statement was. "I was with Claire through it all when she became 'Lightning' for the Guardian Corps. I grew stronger, as well. If she saw me now…"

"Serah…" Kairi said gently as she aimed to focus the straying girl. I knew that Kairi wouldn't have wanted to do it; wouldn't have wanted to bring back the pain. To do so would have pained Kairi more than anyone had ever hurt. Still… "Serah, why are you here? What's happened?"

And only did Kairi's soothing seem to remind Serah of where she was and what was happening. Taking another deep breath, she dug her nails into her palms (I had to wonder if Kairi had gotten the habit from Serah or vice versa), and she spoke without emotion. "I can't be Light's Serah right now though. I have to be Snow's," and though her voice broke, and pain appeared on her face, Serah kept on. "Kairi I feel awful asking this, but Snow's gone! Everyone's saying it was Sora that took him, but no one knows for sure. Kairi, you know Sora better than anyone. He's your Snow. Would he kill Snow if he got in his way or something? If he was supposed to fight against the resistance?"

And Kairi could no longer look at Serah as the words sunk in. She, perhaps, was more horrified than Serah. And why shouldn't she be?

Sensing where my mind was going, the current Kairi squeezed my hand in hers, and looked at me with nothing but truth in her eyes. "It's the past, Sora. And it wasn't you. Anyway… we know you weren't the one that put Snow here. It was Marluxia."

And as if the Memory Kairi took a cue from the real thing, she looked at Serah with a fire in her eyes. "The Sora I know doesn't kill mercilessly, Serah. He does what he feels he has to. And since I feel I somehow met him recently, at least in that dream, I have utter confidence that you'll see Snow again someday."

I was so amazed with Kairi's perception and faith that I almost completely missed when _she_ became amazed at something. She was looking at the corner of her room: the place her old crib still resided. It was directly behind Serah. I realized what she was looking at the same moment she explained, "Sora, it's Snow!"

And it _was_. I'd never met the man before, but there was no denying that the clear, burly man in front of us was Snow. Who else would be here? Who else would be so downcast at what was being said? "Someday… why is it that someday's sounding closer and closer to never?"

Kairi and I both frowned at this. Either one of us could have approached Snow, really. I was very glad that she'd taken the initiative. "Snow?" Kairi asked as she guardedly stepped towards him. Once she "entered" the scene, the memory Kairi dispersed. Where Kairi stood was white once again. "Snow," Kairi said again, but the man wasn't looking up: he thought she was fake. No, all he could see was the floor and how his dreams had seemed to fall to it.

"She's real Snow," I finally said. I didn't know what had prompted me to talk. If Snow knew anything about "me", he'd surely have enough reason to kill me as Aladdin did. Somehow, I knew it was only right that I be the one to help return this man to his Damsel in Distress. I'd been without my own for too long. Only I could really understand what he was going through.

Thankfully, Snow didn't seem to know what the infamous Sora looked like. Or he didn't care. When he looked at me with dead gray eyes (that should have been blue), they showed nothing but amusement. "That's the thing about being here for awhile. It makes you question what is and isn't real. At least in this world, I know the memories of Serah are real."

"Snow," Kairi said as she ventured closer to him, and kneeled down to face him better, "It's me. Kairi. We're here to rescue you. You'll be able to see Serah again. Isn't that what you want?"

"Which time? Before the l'Cie fiasco? After we came out of Crystal Stasis? After the Heartless destroyed our world? It's insane, isn't it? How do I know that the memories, if any, are true? I promised that I'd be her hero, but I can't. I've been through too much. I just want to rest now."

And it was because I'd been through all of this: the feeling of failure, the healing of memories, and the wish to not fight… I knew exactly how to assure him. I went and pulled Kairi into my arms. If anything, he needed to see us as a unified unit. "Yeah, but Snow, isn't the promises, that made you want to be strong in the first place, worth it? You still have the chance to have everything! Don't give up on it. Serah wouldn't give up on you.

"She hasn't given up on you! So maybe you deserve a break from being hero, but that doesn't mean that you give up on the story completely! Serah has been out there fighting for you. For everyone! Don't you want to see that? Don't you think you're owed it?

"Memories are nice, but they're just one side of it all. Memories can't grow; memories can't learn from everything, but above all else, memories can't love."

For a moment. Just a moment. I saw blue return to Snow's eyes. I saw curiosity, but above all, a will to not give up. Kairi saw it too. And she didn't let it pass. "This is all happening Snow. You helped me fight a war for Sora. Let me help you fight a war for Serah. This story's coming to a close. So which ending do you want, hero?"

I could see the resolve in Snow's eyes now. The will to get out of here as soon as possible, and make up for all the time he'd lost. Still, he had time for one thing: "You owe me nothing, Kairi. We're allies. Having each other's backs is a part of life. And I will live my life with Serah thanks to you, Kairi. I can't thank you enough."

Snow took Kairi's free hand between his own as he thanked her. As we all had one thought then—to fight, and return to a better home—I wasn't surprised when our molecules started to pull apart simultaneously. We were engulfed in Light, but it was a different kind. The Light of victory. A Light that knew our hearts. Maybe it actually was our hearts. But whatever the case, we were being pulled back to reality.

We weren't, however, oblivious to what we'd have to face first. Every inch we got closer to the surface, the more dreadful I felt, but I was glad for it. It meant I was truly alive. We exited an internal battle in Light.

But we only ended up in the Final Battle. In Darkness.

Riku was rolling under one of Xehanort's blades. Kicking at the Master's ankle, he flew back and hit Xehanort with his own enlarged Soul Eater. I got the feeling, however, that was about as much damage as they'd done on him. Aqua looked particularly winded as she tried to defend Riku.

Using the moment of peace her healing allowed, Riku reeled on me. "I thought I told you to get Kairi _out_ of here, Sora!"

"Yeah, well… that was the plan! I wasn't counting on Naminé using her mumbo jumbo powers to put us in a fake world!" And only after the words come out did I realize what those plans had constituted. Xehanort had the X-Blade. "That's impossible! How-"

I only cut my words off in response to seeing Kairi charging towards Xehanort. She had momentarily taken Naminé's Blank Slate, but it was with Destiny's Embrace that she aimed to attack him. Naminé's Keyblade did offer a good distraction. She was faking a lethal mood, but only to make a substantial one on a less important body part.

Kairi did, in fact, aim a particularly strong Light encased hit to Xehanort's leg, but then everything was happening in slow motion: he was bringing the X-Blade close to her, and I reacted instinctively.

"No!" I exclaimed as I flew through the air trying to get closer to Kairi. With the X-Blade he shouldn't have even had, he'd somehow summoned a world to this one. As it started to size to its former mass, I knew Kairi would be killed by the blast! Especially since she'd used a Light attack. The oncoming End of the World world was nothing but Darkness!

I succeeded in saving Kairi, but it came with a price: a Darkness I thought gone was being reawakened in me. Perhaps it had to do with how close to true Darkness I'd gotten, but I could hear the remnants of Vanitas stirring in my head. I wouldn't allow Xehanort the real X-Blade! The one he had now had to be fake, right?

Kairi glided over to me and cried for a short moment before regaining her bearings. "You're going to be just fine, Sora!" It wasn't until her words hit home that I realized I'd also been injured: that everything was either becoming blurry or less so. Had I passed out for a moment? "I used a healing spell," the Light encircling her, but still standing far away somehow, was proof of this. "Come on! We have to fight. We've come too far to-"

"To what Kai?" The thunder and lightning that appeared seemed to echo my indignation. This entire world was so Dark it was impossible to see anything. The only moments of Light we had were from our attacks or the world's natural elements. I wouldn't put it beyond this wasteland to catch fire. Though it'd be wonderful to see light, it would serve only as another trial. "Kairi, how does he even have the X-Blade? We're not in the fantasy world anymore! Vanitas is gone! It doesn't make sense!"

"Doesn't it?" Though I knew it was Snow speaking, only his voice allowed me to know this. I couldn't see him save for the darkened area. But somehow his voice seemed up at a higher distance from ours. I surmised he was on a hill. "You say you need a fantasy world to create this X-Blade? Well, we left one, but what if we're in another? What if, to wield it, this villain realized he needed to put himself, all of us, in one?"

"Then that means that I was right," I said as I unwillingly had to marvel at the man's genius. "He just put us in that fantasy world to keep us from fighting him. I was only wrong in thinking this was a real world, too. I'd venture that with Naminé at Marluxia's beck and call, we may never find an end to this."

And how I wished that Naminé would find an end to her imprisonment! If she had just lived—had just realized she didn't have to be anyone's property—we could easily win this! It was only that Naminé didn't have the will and belief that kept her at odds. The reason that she had nothing to fight _for_. If I could get to Naminé, I could probably convince her to side with us! But the problem was there'd be no way of finding her in all of this!

"Sora," Kairi said in a tone that seemed to be on par with me, "we haven't heard or seen Riku and Aqua in awhile. Or Xehanort for that matter. What do you think-"

Kairi didn't finish the sentence. Perhaps she didn't want to give life to the worries: to unwillingly bring them into being. Still, she held onto my arm, and I could feel by her grip how horrified she was. Then, "Snow?"

I didn't have to ask what she meant. Snow was gone now, too. And though there was no way to have avoided it, I hated myself for it. Snow shouldn't have been fighting a battle that wasn't his. He should have been with Serah. Still, he was fighting alongside us. And that was, perhaps, more reason than anything that I wanted him to be okay. That I wanted to find him.

"Sora, I just thought of something," Kairi said as she purposefully rearranged herself in my arms. I was holding onto her waist with one hand, but she had an arm around my shoulder. It wasn't a good position for fighting, but it would hopefully keep us from getting separated. Kairi, as if she was afraid of the air and walls around us, whispered as close to my ear as she could. "The X-Blade gives one the power over Kingdom Hearts. Kingdom Hearts is the heart of all worlds. So Xehanort has power over all worlds now. After all, he momentarily brought the End of the World her and tried to attack me with it. But since we're in Naminé's fantasy world for it to work, he's limited. He has to stay here to have the X-Blade. But since he can summon worlds her-"

"He's going to bring them all here. And then we'll all be in this fantasy world place. We'll all be under his control." There was so much wrong with the plan, but it was beyond the moral of it. It seemed problematic. Surely Kingdom Hearts—though willing to give its power to another—would have qualms about someone creating their own multiverse. That meant…

"I'm a Princess of Heart, Sora. I'm another key to Kingdom Hearts. I'm going to plead to it to keep the worlds where they are. In the mean time, you have to find Xehanort. If he's brought worlds here already, I imagine he'd be in one of them. It's probably the reason that we can't find the others. I bet they ended up in other worlds as he called them. Sora, think of all the worlds you know, go to all of them if you must, but stop him!"

In all honesty, her plan made a lot of sense. And somehow, call it a feeling of the heart; I knew that she was right. But I also knew she was implying that I needed to leave her. I wanted to do that less than she'd want to be separated from me. I'd just gotten her back, after all. But I needed to have faith. Faith could guide someone through any trial, and I needed to believe I could do this.

More than that, I needed to face the monster that had used me so. But more than that, I should keep the ones I loved safe from him. I knew I could end this, and I needed to. I took my steps away from Kairi.

Kairi must have noticed the change in my demeanor. Kairi stopped praying for a moment, and crossed the distance I'd put between us. She jumped into my arms, and cried into my shoulder. And though Kairi had cried near me too many times, I knew this was different somehow. It was as if she was crying for everything we'd lost, everything the worlds had suffered, everything they still might suffer. "I love you, Sora Heterry. You didn't deserve all that's happened to you, but maybe, just maybe, the worlds deserved you. I know, that no matter what happens, you won't fail here, Sora. You've never failed, and I-"

"Kairi, thank you," and the words I used, and the way I held onto her, was not unlike the time I'd held her after being revived in Hollow Bastion. And even though Kairi would be on the sidelines again, I knew, as I always had, that her love, smiles, and my memories of her would guide me through the task ahead.

And as it had happened at the End of the World the first time, I would run to her, hold onto her hand, but this time I would stay. This time we'd be together. This time we'd have forever. I had to believe it, and I did. As I prepared for another battle, it was Kairi, not Naminé's, smile that I dreamed of.

I didn't say goodbye to Kairi as I headed off. Such a thing would be too final, but I felt her eyes on me, and that was enough. I focused on where Xehanort would be, a place I knew he'd be: we'd both been reborn there, and let memories of Kairi take me back to that time.

A time I tasted love. A time that love raised me from the Darkness, and the time that love ran through me as I sealed a Keyhole, and prepared to fight a battle I had nothing to do with. Maybe this battle was what I should have been aiming for from the beginning.

My first thought as I disappeared was of Kairi, but my last thought would also be of Kairi. I would fight, and I would think of her. One more time. Then we'd fight together.

…

I opened my eyes, but I shouldn't have been surprised at where I was. Still, seeing the Entrance Hall of Radiant Garden—when it _was_ Radiant Garden—hadn't been what I expected. I'd known that I'd be in Hollow Bastion, but this…

To add insult to injury, it was somehow snowing. I had to wonder if it was through Naminé's power that such a thing was happening. And just as soon as I thought of her, I seemed to see her.

She pulled out her Keyblade, and I had the insane idea that she was going to kill me, or, at the very last, attack me for all I'd put her through. She didn't really do either of these things. She seemed to be using a Magnet spell and she danced me around in the air. Finally, she had me inches from the ground, but I was dangling just above it. "Nami?" I asked when I couldn't stand the oddness any longer.

That seemed to set her off! At the very least, she let me fall to the ground in an undignified heap as she began drawing in her sketchpad again. "Naminé, I'm here to rescue you!"

And the sentence was so odd, so out of place, that I could only look at her in shock. Look at the area around me in shock. How was this so similar, and yet so different, to what I'd been through in Castle Oblivion?

I know Naminé must have noticed it, as well. But she ignored me. Xehanort, however, decided to make his presence known at last. I expected a grander entrance, really. Perhaps he was done with the game of hide and seek, too. Annoyingly, Naminé hoisted me into the air again, and I was powerless to stop her. It was as if she was offering me to Xehanort on a silver platter or something. I couldn't move.

Xehanort was not ignorant to this fact as he cast Exo Spark after Exo Spark on me. I screamed, but I had enough pride to not move: to not try and get away. Still, I wondered if pride was really the answer to this. A few more Exo Sparks, and I'd surely die. More than that, I'd break all my promises to Kairi. Finally, Xehanort seemed to have enough with torturing me.

"You're pathetic," he said as he walked towards the fountain. I could all too well remember fighting Riku in this place, of jumping from the second story into that fountain. The coolness of the water seemed most welcoming now. "The labors of my research, and this is all you are? You're weak, Sora! But I guess that should be expected from a bearer of so many hearts! Of Kingdom Hearts itself!"

There was only one part of that sentence I really listened to. After all, I wasn't arrogant (or insane) enough to believe myself to be Kingdom Hearts. He was just trying to psyche me out. But I wasn't an idiot. I knew I was abnormal. Could he have had something to do with that? Was I really just a science experiment?

"And young Naminé here thought you of all people would love her. If anyone could love a Nothing, it would be you. You who harbored Ventus and Kairi's heart. You who were responsible for Roxas, Xion, and Naminé's own existence. You who effected Vanitas.

"But maybe that's the problem. There is no _you_ is there? You're just a combination of people who are realer than you. Still, I think you did care for miss Naminé. It's somehow just dessert that it'll be that one betrayal that will be your downfall. I always had back up plans Sora, and you are that back up plan, but now you're just a failsafe. Now you're just in the way. Now I don't need you anymore. With Naminé handing over the X-Blade, it and Kingdom Hearts now belongs to me!""

And though I didn't want it to, though I'd thought I didn't believe, I was unable to help falling into a memory. A memory that may have been "realer than me". For the first time that I could remember, I cried for myself.

"_There really are other worlds out there?"_

"_Yes, and it's my belief that there shouldn't be. It was all one big world once. Maybe it could be again. Miss, have you given much thought about your son's Light?"_

"_You believe you could recreate the heart of all worlds in him?"_

"_If needed so, yes. He may prove much more compliant than Kingdom Hearts itself."_

"_Then by all means, have him. I can't help feeling this is for the greater good!"_

I don't know how long I laid there suspended in midair. I didn't feel like I was floating. Not with finding out I'd been meant to copy Kingdom Hearts' power. Not after finding out my mother had offered her own son to a stranger for research. Her intentions might have been pure, but… but why did it have to be me? What did I ever do? And what had I ever done to have such Light?

I was about ready to not care. To just give up what I might should have along time ago. But like a light shining on me whilst lost at sea, I sensed Kairi's presence. Her Light and voice washed over me, and I could hardly believe I'd almost given up. _Sora, you're the Light manifested that was lost at the Keyblade War_, Kairi's voice said to me. _And I know none of this is fair, and you don't deserve it. But sometimes we're forced into roles we don't want. _

I drew my Keyblade, the good old Kingdom Key; if he was the reason I had the Keyblade, it was only fitting that I end him with it.

_Sometimes, Sora. Sometimes there seems like there's no end, and you should just give up. At least that's what normal people feel, but not you, Sora. You're everyone's strength. But if you get through this, I'll be yours and you'll never have to do this again._

I called a Firaga spell to my hands, and Xehanort didn't notice. He was still giving a monologue near the fountain.

_None of this was fair, Sora. And I'm praying to you now, and I'm really seeing you. I know how unfair it's all been, but sometimes it's the unfairness that teaches us what goodness is. Why we should live._

I fired the Firaga spell at Xehanort. As he whirled around on me, I had the pleasure of seeing some of his skin melt off: of hearing it crinkle.

_It's the battles that allow the worlds to be reborn anew. To let them see what their actions have wrought. It allows better people to be born._

Xehanort was coming towards me now, and I leaped into the air. I was gliding now, but I wasn't surprised. Somehow I felt Peter Pan lifting me up, and I knew I'd rely on every skill that I could to defeat Xehanort. And in that moment, as Kairi's voice set on me, as if it was the morning brought about after a long drawn out battle, I knew I'd win.

_The friendships that come together because of battle are the most beautiful, but more than that, when all is said and done, when people realize whom they love, and what love is, that right there makes everything worthwhile. That's the reason for everything. This time we'll have forever, Sora. I have to believe it, and I do._

We were parrying attack after attack, as we flew all over the place, as I literally ripped apart the X-Blade: something that should have been mine. Something that _was_ me. He shot spells at me, but I barely even felt their hits. I'd been through far worse than this. In that moment, I was thankful for it. If it hadn't been for the pain, I would have never been able to stop this madman. Other people would have suffered.

As I recovered from a slice through my abdomen, the place from which I had freed Kairi's heart, I allowed my entire being to fill up with nothing but the knowledge of her. I was keeping my promise, but it was so much more than that. Somehow, I was giving her enough Light to stop her own from attacking her again, but I was also fighting Xehanort with it.

It was only then that I'd realized I'd _become_ the Light for the time being. I'd said it once, and I still believed it to this day. "Kingdom Hearts is Light!"

I encased my Keyblade with that Light, I shot downward, and I stabbed Xehanort with it as well as my Keyblade. Faster than I ever could have imagined, he began coming apart at the seams. Literally. He was nothing, but Darkness after all.

And then he was just a memory. I heard Kairi's voice one more time. _This began with memories; it only makes sense it would end as fast as it takes to create one. An instant._

Before I could figure out how to communicate with Kairi in my mind, Aqua had walked onto the scene. She and the last vestiges of Terra looked at each other. And I was sad that their story had been nothing but self-conscious mistakes. They'd never remedy that, either.

Terra looked at me out of the corner of her eye, but his eyes remained on Aqua still. Even when Xehanort was gone—even when he himself was gone—Terra's presence seemed to linger around us. But…

Xehanort was gone. Forever. Now forever stretched on in front of us.

**Author's Note: Not the end. I shan't say anything to ruin the moment, but any questions, comments, or concerns?**

**Thanks to my reviewers! See you next chapter!**

**Edit: I hope no one's disappointed with the final battle. I'd meant to have it drawn out and in depth, but as I was writing, it seemed better to end it this way. I mean we've had some pretty good fight scenes with him in earlier chapters, right? Right? I hope I didn't mess up… **

**-Shanna **


	19. Burn

**Author's Note: The quotes from Kairi's letter in KH2 are not part of Sora's thoughts. Don't think too much about them, but they will make since eventually. **

**Burn**

Thinking of you wherever you are.

I'd known the moment that I defeated Xehanort that Naminé's allegiance would be mine again. Though she'd loved me this entire time, it wasn't until I defeated Xehanort that she'd deem it safe enough to choose me.

"Sora," she said as she moved closer to me; I wanted to move away, but I knew such a thing would be bad. "Sora, we can finally be free! And you can be the Master of the worlds! Now we can go off together like we always wanted! Like _I_ always wanted. Nothing can stop us now!"

Though her words, of course, made sense and were very Naminé-esc, there was something off about her tone. And it took me only a moment to realize what.

She didn't have a heart anymore. She was once again a Nobody. Me returning Kairi's Light—which Kairi's loss of it had been a key factor in Naminé getting her own heart—had stripped it away. Now all that was left were the feelings I'd awoken in her. It made sense she'd resort to her old "feelings" for me, but it was also sad somehow.

"Naminé," I said in a tone that sounded urgent, but also agreeable. "First, we need to get out of here, alright? Get everyone out of here, and then we'll talk. Okay?" Her eyes were foggy. They were icy looking. It was clear she really hadn't processed what I said.

"Look," I said as I walked closer to the vase she was standing in front of; it was the left vase near the Entrance Hall. "Naminé, it's not fair that Snow and Aqua have had to fight battles they had nothing to do with. It's like how none of this was right for you. Can you please free them, Nami?"

I knew as soon as I'd said that name, that it was a mistake. Because I didn't feel that personal with Naminé: the me that had was long gone. Naminé jumped into my arms, and pressed her lips against mine as she curled herself around me. "Sora, let's get out of here and make love," she said when my lips were thankfully free.

I hadn't fought her in kissing me. Why hadn't I fought her? I didn't love her. Didn't feel for her bodily. Especially not that. (How had I ever questioned Kairi was the one?) Did she really think that Vanitas or I had ever loved her? Hadn't she paid attention to any of the proceedings? I was solely for Kairi as Vanitas had been solely for Aqua. Why, then, did I think it best not to tell her this?

Of course it'd be when I was pondering all of this that Riku and Kairi would magically appear. Kairi ran into my arms (Naminé had moved away from me beforehand), and the relief was instantaneous. How different it was from holding Naminé! The warmth, her inner strength, our hearts beating as one… I could feel all of that as I returned her embrace.

As I breathed in the smell of her hair, even though it needed washed like mine, there was no denying that this was love. That this was home.

Kairi buried her face into my chest, and cried. Somehow, it seemed to be tears of sorrow and joy wrapped up in one. "If you ever kiss her again…" Kairi whispered so only I'd hear. I knew she was joking, of course, but I still felt bad that she'd seen that.

"Oh boy," Kairi sighed dramatically as she moved away to look into my eyes. "Why did I ever miss the Light? It's so much more _painful_ this way. I feel especially bad for Terra, Aqua, and Vanitas now."

We pray for our sorrows to end. And hope that our hearts will blend. 

Kairi was laughing at her own joke. Though it wasn't the best, I had to laugh at it, too. She'd be back to her old Light-y self in no time. Somehow, I knew the first thing I wanted to do when this was all over was to say a sexual joke. Kairi's reaction would be priceless. It'd be what I'd missed about her and myself most. Our innocence. "I guess we're both masochists then. As you know, I never gave up on the Light, Kai. I don't plan to after hearing what a certain someone had to say."

"I've sent Snow and Aqua back home now, Sor." Naminé's use of my nickname was clearly to show herself that she was still the special one. That my calling Kairi by a nickname meant nothing. I felt so… so very sorry for her.

It was for that reason, and that reason alone, that I pulled away from Kairi and paid attention to the smirking Riku. "How on Earth are you a substitute for Kingdom Hearts? You're so oblivious! You didn't even wonder how Kairi and I got here," Riku said with his arms crossed over his chest, and faux superiority.

"Since when are Corridors of Darkness surprising?" I shot back at him. I was looking everywhere, but at Naminé. I felt _strange_.

"Hmph. You're just saying that to defend yourself, but maybe your obliviousness makes sense. Why else would no one have thought of using Light and Darkness together? Gosh, I can't believe I missed you Light freaks."

"I'll show you, Riku!" I exclaimed as I shot forward. I knew he was joking, and I was too for the most part. Still, the Light joke wasn't funny on Kairi's part. The loss of her Light had nearly killed her! It was for this reason that I drew my Keyblade, and the two of us started running for the right stairs. It wasn't, however, what I'd want my Keyblade for.

Now I will step forward and realize this wish. 

I paused. Not because I was afraid of facing Riku, but because the area around us changed. I didn't know why I was so surprised, really. We still were in Naminé's fantasy world, after all. But I was shocked.

We were standing in a desiccated version of Radiant Garden's castle. If you could call it that. I had the feeling this is what the world had looked like after Xehanort's experiments had brought the Heartless here. There were holes in the paneling _everywhere_. Though Riku and Naminé were mere feet in front of and behind me, they were somehow outside. Kairi and I were both still inside. If only that could have been a sign. If only there could have been something between Naminé and Riku like there was Kairi and I. "This is…" I knew, of course, but I trailed off because I didn't want to hear the truth of it.

Maybe Riku was stronger than me. Maybe he should have been the hero of this story. "Kairi's home after its destruction," he finished for me.

I had the insane idea that this was more of her mental destruction. At least Naminé's. She looked unhinged. Kairi probably knew this better than anyone. She ran up the stairs and stood behind me. Riku, who had been looking in the patch of sun as if asking for its blessing, turned to Kairi when I did. He'd always love her as much as I did. Maybe more so. It was hard to tell sometimes. "I think," Kairi said as she linked her arm with mine, "I think we should get out of here. This place seems unstable."

No sooner than she said that, did the stairs I was standing on crack and splinter away. Riku and Kairi's portion were still in tact, but mine were long gone. Soon the floor was, too! Or was it…

Looking down—something only an acrobat or flyer would have been brave enough to do in this situation—I saw the white walls of Castle Oblivion reaching up where the floor had been. I tried to pull myself away from it, but I didn't have much to hold onto, and I fell against my will.

Only in my nightmares would I ever have considered revisiting this place again. Now I had no choice. Naminé sat calmly, cross-legged, on the floor. "Naminé?" I asked guardedly.

At first, I wasn't sure if she'd heard me or not. As soon as I'd spoken, Riku and Kairi had dropped in after me. The whooshes in the wind they created, reminded me of the blankness in my mind. I had no clue what was going on! "Naminé, what's-"

"Why am I always so bounded? Even that memory of what Radiant Garden castle looked like; it's not mine. It's _hers_."

For a moment, I was transported back in time. Another time where my world had been falling apart. A time when Naminé had been equally jealous. A time when she'd accented "her" like that.

"_No. The girl you really care about… The one who was always with you… It's not me. It's her." _

And who knows? Starting a new journey may not be so hard.

Kairi had begun to walk towards Naminé, but I had a bad feeling that that was what she wanted. As if reading my mind, the area around Kairi turned into deep space the moment she'd taken that one step. I instantly pulled her back to me, but it was only to have the entire area turn back into Castle Oblivion. Naminé seemed to shrug sympathetically, "She was never here in Castle Oblivion, though. If she moves around too much, she'll only be tearing the fabric of this world."

Why was Naminé suddenly acting so cool, calm, and collected around Kairi? Sadness couldn't be the answer, could it? Even if she were depressed she would have been somewhat resistant and self-righteous, right?

Riku seemed to be thinking along the lines I was. "Having the X-Blade's a bad idea, Naminé. We can excuse a lot of what you've done here, but if you continue to use the power you shouldn-"

"It's more than that, Naminé." Kairi said, as she stood atop my feet. It was the only way she could get closer to Naminé without being sent into the Lanes Between. "If you use the X-Blade, I'm afraid you might harm Sora. He, in some ways, has been revealed to be Kingdom Hearts. I fear that if you steal his X-Blade, you'll spread him too thin. He'll become a servant… actually, I think he'd become object more than anything else. I know you don't want that."

It took every ounce of my self-control to not tell Kairi that I'd be _her_ object whenever she wanted. Maybe I was just trying to lessen the severity of the situation by being goofy. Maybe I just really wanted to tell Kairi a sexual joke: to have Kairi be embarrassed like she once had. Really, I wanted all of us to be what we once had. And I was getting the feeling tha-

"Kairi, you make it seem as though Naminé would be averse to that. What has she been this entire time, but a manipulator of Sora and Vanitas?" Riku literally spat at the ground towards Kairi. It was completely uncalled for! Just because he had a few issues with Kai… he had no right to think she was anything like Naminé. And it wasn't particularity nice to goad Naminé that way, either.

I had the hurtful feeling of Kairi crunching my feet, as she tried to walk towards Riku behind me. Though she wasn't mad at me, I could clearly feel her anger in the way she'd walked. "I get the distinct impression that Marluxia, Xehanort, and Vanitas were the manipulators in this situation. And what is your problem, Riku?"

"What indeed?"

I didn't have much time to ask what Naminé meant. I also didn't have much time to decipher her tone. Suddenly, I was being thrown back towards Riku, and Kairi was hurtling close to Naminé. The environment was being torn asunder as she did so, but Riku and I both ended up in Radiant Garden again.

Castle Oblivion seemed closed off.

I was really considering drawing my Keyblade and killing Riku right about now; it was only my desire for normalcy that kept me from doing so. "Do you really think it wise to taunt them? This area's already coming apart due to Naminé's emotions! You just had to hurt her and her Somebody more, didn't you?"

As it was, Riku had no issue in beating me up. But his anger was making him sloppy. Still, he was much stronger than me, and by the end of the fight, I had scars on my abdomen, arms, and legs to show for it. Finally, it took me blowing a Fire spell at him (something I didn't even know I _could_ do if my hands were preoccupied) to get him to return to his senses.

I, however, did kick him in the legs a few times for good measure. I was pretty irked too, you know. "Will you STOP? What's your problem? We have to find Kairi and Naminé. The two of us fighting is not going to-"

"You go after Naminé like you _always_ do. I'll go pick up the pieces of Kairi. I'm used to that now. And when Naminé bewitches you again, I'll bend over backwards to save you when all I want is _her_."

After all this time… after all of the years and trials of our friendship… after going to Hell and back… we were still rivals. We were still rivals in love with the same girl. A girl we wanted to share a paopu with.

No… I didn't need that anymore. Kairi's lucky charm—shaped like a paopu—had proved to be more than enough. Our connected hearts were more than enough. But Riku…

"I wasn't _me_, Riku. I was manipulated and half someone else. And despite all odds, I'm still here. Don't you _dare_ judge me for that." And as bad as the thought was, I probably would have killed him if he dared try. I'd been through enough. I didn't need berated by my best friend. I berated myself enough.

Unsurprisingly, Riku leaped down into the fountain. I really had to wonder if we'd end up fighting like we had four years ago. My superior speed and agility against his Darkness and strength. I knew that I would win. "But you're still not _you_, Sora. You're the best you can be after everything, but Naminé took my best friends away and I'll never have them back. Kairi's Darker, you know."

Even from above, I could see the pride and amazement in his face. The wish for something that could never be. Would that make him as cold as the water reflected on his face? "Sora, despite that you gave her her Light back, she's still Dark. I'd thought, for the longest time, that you might never be rescued. That she would finally lean on me. That we could walk the Road to Dawn together. How is it that you've done so much worse than I've ever done, and she still picks you? How? She's a person of Light, for god's sake."

I didn't want to answer. What could I say, really? Either way this was going to end badly. If I didn't answer accordingly, I could all too easily imagine Riku's Way to Dawn being thrown in the air to slit my throat. I'd never be able to block such a stab in the back. Maybe it was knowing that I'd injured Riku so much more than a lethal blow, that I thought it best to give him closure.

"None of this was up to chance, Riku. Despite what you think, I was _Light _the entire time. I was fighting against Vanitas and his Darkness, but I was lost in myself because of Naminé. But I still fought, and I broke free. I'm all Kairi would have ever wanted, Riku. From the moment I became Xehanort's experiment, we were destined for each other. We're both hearts of Light. She compliments me because she's a key to Kingdom Hearts. And I, more or less, copy its power. I'm sorry, Riku. My biggest regret is that you've been put through this pain. That someone unnatural like me keeps you from-"

Shocking himself or me more, I wasn't sure; Riku cut me off, as he jumped back onto the second story, and gave me a quick bear hug. "That's the Sora I remember. That's the Sora who knows who he is, and won't bow down to Naminé. More importantly, you're the Sora who knows who your friends are. I had to make sure. I have a bad feeling that-"

Once again, I didn't hear what he was going to say. Suddenly, Radiant Garden changed, and we were nowhere but The World That Never Was' Memory's Skyscraper. As the moon shone down on me, I remembered how I'd once fought here with Oathkeeper and Oblivion. How I'd thought about a resistance I was joining, and my bizarre pull to Kairi. Were my thoughts so different now?

Riku, too, seemed to be enjoying the change of scenery. The in-between world was where he'd always shine. Maybe that's why it looked as though he was absorbing the heart-shaped moon's power himself.

The heart-shaped moon! As it collected hearts, it was supposed to open a way to Kingdom Hearts, but it hadn't! Was that because my power over Kingdom Hearts had stopped it? My knowledge all along that Vanitas was making me do things that weren't right… had I always been this powerful?

Riku nudged my shoulder with his elbow. I looked at him curiously, but I was hyperventilating on the inside. Why, oh why, would Naminé or Kairi have thought this place up? And why would we be here? Where were the girls? "Kairi or Naminé? Which one do you want to see first?" Riku asked in a way that answered more questions than one.

Now it was my turn to lecture him. And strongly resist the urge to smack him one. "Who do you think, genius? Did your freak out mean nothing to you? Maybe I should be worried about _you_ and Naminé."

Ignoring my insult, Riku opened a Corridor of Darkness and pushed me inside. I was skilled enough to not fall on my face, but I still didn't appreciate the tactic.

Or maybe it's already begun.

Until I saw Kairi, of course, then my brain turned to nothing but mush. She leaped forward and wrapped her legs around my waist, as I held her in my arms. As our foreheads leaned against each other, I couldn't help but think that we needed to rediscover each other. Now that I had my full memories of her, everything seemed a bit blurry from when I was out of my mind. As Kairi said, "Just tell me which way you want to 'rediscover' me and I'll make _your_ birthday wish come true," I knew she'd somehow read my mind.

Yep. Her smirk was enough to tell me she'd been probing my thoughts the moment I came in. Somehow I blamed the Light for the intrusion.

"Ahem,"

Kairi slid off of me the moment Riku cleared his throat. As she looked everywhere but me, and blushed scarlet, it wasn't hard to guess why she was so befuddled. "You two were together for awhile, weren't you?"

Kairi trying to hide her face behind her hair was proof enough. Still, I wasn't mad as I folded my hands behind my head, and surveyed my friends in a new way. "Not that I mind. It's only fair that you slept with Riku seeing as how I slept with Naminé." Though I hadn't meant to say those words at all, I couldn't deny that they sounded right when I heard them aloud.

But to my surprise, Kairi was blushing even more. And I had the distinct feeling that my words weren't why. "Sora, umm. We…"

Apparently knowing that Kairi would choke on what she was saying (if she was left wading), Riku quickly took the initiative. "You two slept together when you were thirteen. You don't remember because Vanitas may or may not have been controlling you."

And now it was my turn to blush as red as a fire engine and look away. How did my best friend know more about my sex life than I did? More disturbing was wondering if it had been Vanitas or me that had been with Kairi. I was going to take a wild guess that it had happened the night of the spiked punch. But… was that what Vanitas had meant by saying, "You don't even know things I've done to Kairi that you don't remember." I shuddered. Maybe if I didn't believe it, it'd make it untrue.

Still… I was unable to keep a grimace and groan in check. I also might have exclaimed, "Does every time have to be tainted by him? And it's probably because of him that I didn't remember what should have been my most important memory! Riku, how do you know this stuff, anyway?" I asked the last as more of a distraction than anything else.

Riku smirked, and suddenly I felt like we were little kids again. Why did he always have to tease me about Kairi? Accordingly he said, "Kairi may have let a few things slip in a particular rant about you and Naminé."

And then, and only then, did I finally realize where we were. Naminé's room. The pristine white walls and scattered drawings were proof of it. On a lamp desk by her bed, I saw _Maximum Ride_ lying there guiltily.

Guiltily because I felt guilty. Everything that had happened was my fault. I'd imagined myself as Fang and Naminé as Max. Now… now things were so screwed up I couldn't see straight anymore. If I hadn't read this book, would things have been simpler? Was one more flame to the fire such a big deal?

In every story you get a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach. Sometimes no knowledge is more horrifying than the unspeakable truth. I could only hope things would play out well for all our sakes.

"Riku is there a way you can get us out of here?" I asked as what was happening set in. Why had Naminé brought Kairi here? Why had she returned us to Radiant Garden? And why weren't we back in the real world yet? If needed, we would deal with Naminé later, but right now I was under the impression that we should leave.

Kairi—suddenly over her nervousness in light of our situation—came over to me and linked her arm through mine. She rested her head on my shoulder, and I momentarily put my head atop hers. I breathed in the calming waves that were Kairi incarnate, and I kept a clear head when she said, "Riku could try to open a Corridor and take us through, but I don't know if that would work. This is pretty much Naminé's head we're in. She could always change things so we can't get out. I was talking to her earlier and-"

Riku opened a Corridor of Darkness just to teleport to Kairi. He clamped a hand over her mouth, and even at the odd angle, she was able to glare at him. "The only problem with the first plan is that the Darkness may steal Sora's heart, but-"

"Come off of it, Riku," I said in response to what he'd said, "after everything, I think I can handle a little Darkness. Now what was Kairi's second plan? I'd appreciate it if you removed your forceful hand from my wife." Riku's face shone shock for many reasons. One that I'd known Kairi and him well enough to know he'd stopped her from giving another alternative, but also that I'd referred to Kairi that way.

I was a bit surprised with the latter myself, but she might as well have been. And when we got out of here, I'd make sure she _was_ just that.

Riku removed his hand from Kairi's mouth grudgingly. She elbowed him in the ribcage, but as she ran forward and hugged me, she was beaming radiantly. It was only after having her in my arms that I heard her whisper; that I knew she was hugging me for more than one reason. "Sora, I was trying to talk with Naminé. I was trying to convince her that we didn't blame her, and that she could have a full life with us if she wanted. I told her that I understand her because she is me. She seemed to be listening, and things were going well, but she just brought me to this room and locked me in. I can hear her in the room beside us. _Your_ room, I'm guessing. Anyway, I got the distinct feeling I shouldn't make a Corridor of Light and escape."

Though she very well could have meant her Light compared to ours could harm us, I had a feeling that wasn't what Kai had meant at all. Who would prove this fact none other than Naminé herself?

There are many worlds, but they share the same sky.

Opening her own Corridor of Darkness, Naminé appeared right behind us. Right where the proper door was, actually. She had a sweet smile on her face. For a moment, she was the Naminé I knew. The Naminé that I could have loved if I weren't so woven into Kairi's destiny. Naminé smiled at Kairi, and I breathed a sigh of relief when she said, "I was trying to see things from your perspective, Kairi. To be so taken by Sora and think I can never see him again. And by putting you here, I was trying to let you see what it's like to be a prisoner. Maybe now you can absorb me?"

Kairi instantly began to step towards Naminé at her last sentence. And I latched onto her arm at once, but after getting a scathing look from Kai, I thought it best to let her go. I just couldn't get the image of this world breaking up out of my head. And shouldn't Kairi have been unable to be in this memory? Was it because this was a Darker Twilight Town that the law was different than that of Castle Oblivion? Kairi had definitely spent enough time in the sun setting town.

I was pulled out of my reverie as I saw Kairi take Naminé into her arms. She was hugging her technically younger Nobody. She was stroking her hair, but somehow whispering sweet nothings and truths all at the same time. "I wouldn't dream of having you return to me now, Nami. You deserve more than that. You're really your own person now, anyway. And we'd be honored to have you with us. I think we all deserve such a thing after all of this. If you want, I'd even be willing to share Sora. You're just another side of me, after all."

And as Naminé reached her hands up to return the embrace, I welcomed a sense of rightness. This was right. This was how our story should end. I wouldn't even be averse to the Nami thing if everyone was happy. And seeing how cute Kai and Nami were right now, it seemed all the more possible.

Now Naminé was using her power over this world to add red to Kairi's dress. It seemed like a right of passage to me that Nami would share this world. That she'd share her joy of coloring.

All was right until I saw Riku leaping forward. I saw him bringing out Soul Eater, and mouthing "Magnet" as he rushed towards the girls.

Though Riku was moving his mouth to say the words, I beat him to it. "NO!" I'd finally realized what Naminé had done. What I'd been unable to comprehend before. Kairi was falling to the ground, and my reason to live was falling with her.

Riku was having some sort of confrontation with Naminé, but I didn't care. I caught Kairi before she fell, and quite ironically, she grabbed onto my shirt: exactly where my heart was. "Kairi, I'm so sorry! I had no idea! I didn't see the knife. I didn't know she _had_ a knife. Please hold on! I'm going to heal you. You'll be just fine. I-"

Kairi, as we'd done so many times in this tale, silenced me with a quick peck on the lips. She was smiling through it all, and now she was running a hand through my matted hair. "You don't have time. And I have to tell you something. Please listen."

I tried. I really did. But how could I when I should have been healing her? How could I when she was in a pool of her own blood? The wound from her heart was gushing blood. And her hair was soaked in it. It was just like Vanitas' dream. I hadn't even caused it, and yet-

One sky… 

"Sora, I finally know what love is. When you have a soul mate, you mess it up more than anything. The feeling's too powerful, and you're afraid of it. You sabotage it so you can't lose what you don't have. Still, you're unable to stay away. The more you hurt one another, the more you love each other. Because you love each and everything about them. The things that they hate about themselves and the things that don't make sense to anyone else. Essentially, you love the part of them they can't love."

That right there was proof we _were_ soul mates. Because _I_ had said that to a memory of her, but she'd had no idea. And yet she saw into my heart this way. And now it was too late. Now it meant nothing.

As I accepted that truth, my hold on her increased, and I cried enough tears to rival the blood she was losing. To rival all the tears I'd made her cry. I'd never even been able to tell her I was sorry!

"I love you, Sora." She looked me in the eyes with her own twinkling ones one more time, and then she was gone.

Kairi was dead.

One destiny. 

**Author's Note: ****Don't kill me. Trust me. Review. **

**One more chapter and then an epilogue.**

**And to my reviewers: you guys are too awesome! As I break the one hundred thousand-word mark, we've also broken fifty reviews. Thank you SO much! Each one means so much to me! I can't believe we've made it this far. **

**I shall try to reply to all my reviews this chapter. The reason I haven't been lately is because I've been writing the chapters so fast. By the time I'm done writing, and about to send a reply, I realize I should just post the new chapter. LOL. Sorry about that. **

**And don't hate Naminé too much. She actually was a good guy for the longest time… I REALLY fought this ending, but it was just inevitable. After everything Naminé's been through, it makes sense she's lost her mind. In her head, the only thing standing in the way of her and Sora was Kairi. Now that Kairi's gone, she thinks they can be together.**

**And let it be known that I don't hate Naminé. I actually love her (some of my other fics are proof of this). But this ending was inevitable. I'm sorry.**

**And about Kairi's letter, it actually did tie into the parts of this, but it was mainly to show that some things are destined to happen. Kairi, in this story, wrote that letter to Sora when she was taken off the islands. You know, when Riku showed up and told her what happened before she joined the resistance. **

**And now you get the full meaning as to why this story's called, "Stand There and Watch Me Burn". And another reason why this is in the horror genre. **

**And for some reason, this video I love, "Zack & Aerith - Happy Birthday, Eddie!" by avidityy on YouTube really seems to suit this chapter. **


	20. Judgment

**Judgment **

"_Hey, Sora?" _

_I turned to face an eight-year-old Kairi, and was immediately shocked at what I saw. She wasn't wearing cornrows anymore! Her hair was down. I didn't remember the first time I'd seen her with her hair down. Ever since she'd turned five, she'd worn her hair differently._

_When she was five, she'd worn hats all the time. At six she wore her hair in a bun. At seven she added one more bun and had what Riku had dubbed, "doughnut holes". At eight she'd worn cornrows… she was still eight. Why did she have her hair down?_

_Why did I suddenly think she was beautiful? "What is it, Kai?" I asked as I paused playing in the sand, and looked at her all decked out in a red kimono. She looked gorgeous. Her hair complimented it greatly. Was that why…_

"_Sora? Can you tie this choker around me?" That was all it took for me to come out of my reverie. I wiped my hands on my pants. (Why had I worn pants on this hot day, again?) I then walked over to where Kairi stood near the water. She was so small; a gust of wind would all too easily send her into the water._

_I had to ask. "Kairi, why are you all pretty-fied? And why are you so close to the water? Aren't you afraid you'll get splashed?"_

_As if to prove my point, a dolphin jumped out far off towards the horizon. We were dry, obviously, but it was still shocking. Mainly because it was as if it had done it on cue._

_Kairi laughed at the look on my face. "Come on, Sora! You were _born_ here! Don't tell me you forgot about the Festival of Dolphins! I'd be quite happy if I did get soaked, you know!"_

_I may have pushed Kairi into the water at her words, but it was all in good fun. After she came out, I put the choker on her, and Kairi laughed. "At least you didn't let me 'choke' on this day of days."_

"_Kairi, it's too loose. Even under water you'd-" Oh. She was joking! I pushed her in the water again in realization. Maybe _she_ could just swim to the dolphin. _

"Sora… Sora! SORA!" I felt like I was coming out of the water myself at Riku's words. I felt so distant… so light. So denying the truth…

I didn't want to look at Kairi anymore.

I stood up and joined Riku where he stood with his blade to Naminé. I met Riku with a smile. "What is it I can do for you?"

"Kill her, Sora. If the Nobody of the Heartless dies, too, the Somebody will come back! Kill her, like _you_ should, and bring Kairi back."

There was no denying the truth anymore. And if I stayed her too long, I'd miss the Festival of Dolphins. I made a Corridor of Darkness and pondered how it might make me lose my heart. How it could make me lost. That idea seemed like a luxury. Maybe I could swim in the Darkness like Kairi had swum in the water. Like how she'd swum back to me. "It won't work. Kairi was never a Heartless. I was the Heartless that led to Naminé's creation. And in any case, I can't hurt her. None of this is her fault. She's as lost in her mind as I was. And she's the only bit of Kairi we have left."

It was clear in Riku's silence that he didn't see it that way. He raised his Keyblade, and he very well might have killed Naminé. He also could have proposed to her. Whatever he did, I wasn't paying attention to it. I wouldn't pay attention to anything anymore.

I would _not_ think about how Kairi had died in my arms (exactly the way Xion had died in Roxas'). I also would not blame myself for the Darkness in Naminé. Even if I did create her. There was certainly no reason to blame myself for Kairi's death. My hands were clean for once.

Maybe… maybe in the lies… maybe I could find an indirect way to the truth. Truth. Lies. What was the difference, really? All I knew was that Kairi was my way, truth, and Light. Even if I hadn't coined that phrase. Even if I'd never coin a phrase about her again.

_"So, tell me about the Festival of Dolphins in your own words again," Riku said with a laugh._

_Kairi, Riku, and my arms were linked together as we traversed down the stony path. This path had only ever been here to lead someone for this Festival. I couldn't resist the urge to skip along it, and I sent Riku and Kairi to the ground by accident._

"_The Festival is magical, beautiful, and mystical all in one!" Kairi exclaimed as she leaped up from the ground and burrowed her face in my chest. "How do you guys not know about it?"_

"_Because we don't pay attention in school." With one swift moment, Riku was on his feet again. He slapped me upside the head, but then we continued walking as if nothing had happened._

_Nightfall had fallen. The area was pitch black, but somehow inviting. As people did tricks, cooked, and had glow sticks, one could almost believe Light and Darkness _could _co-exist. _

"_Do you think a dolphin has _ever_ gone to someone during the Festival?" I asked as I picked up a remote control robot and pondered buying Riku one just so I could beat his up. _

"_Seeing as how the Festival was created in honor of the event, then the answer is 'yes'," Kairi said a bit impatiently as she picked up a robot and pummeled my own. "It's said that Sir Aragni found a wounded dolphin, but it came to him despite its injuries. Once it splashed Sir Aragni, it was somehow healed. Then it took its healer to another world where love is all that matters."_

_Riku laughed out loud at Kairi's words. I snickered a bit, too. But we both ruffled her hair. "I think it's time for a new legend, Kai. Maybe the dolphins think we've gotten too lazy. Maybe we should go find them," I said thoughtfully, but I was really counting my tickets to see if I had enough for another ride._

"_No! That's not the point at all! Look, the Festival is the same day the event happened, but it's also the same day the Islands were supposedly created. The dolphins are believed to have created the Islands, and every year they come out and celebrate the day. So-"_

"_So there's no point in looking for them," Riku said with mirth in his eyes. He took pride in beating Kairi to the punch these days. "The dolphins come out every time, right? What you're really looking for is to get splashed by a dolphin and taken to fairytale land."_

_Cue more snickering from me. At the time, love had seemed always there. Always potent. If only my beliefs wouldn't have been so wrong. "What's with the beads, then?"_

_Here Kairi blushed. "It's for rebels. People that believe the tale, but wouldn't mind trying to find love another way. The beads are supposed to attract one's soul mate." _

_If Kairi was blushing because of her desire for love, being a rebel, or her belief, I wasn't sure. However, I'd realized that as she'd been speaking, I'd pulled out a beaded necklace I'd found on the ground before stuffing it in my pocket. I'd been looking for tickets still, but it wasn't surprising. _

_What _was _surprising was that the beads were exactly the same as the ones on Kairi's choker. Even though she was standing closer to the Lights in a tent, and I was outside… they were the exact same color._

_Had Kairi noticed it, too? I quickly hid my beads away. Nothing had seemed weirder then than ending up with my best friend._

_The girl that was still my best friend. The girl who _had_ been my soul mate. _

"Where are you going, Sora?" And as I saw Riku's turquoise eyes shine exactly the way our beads had, I had to wonder if Riku knew exactly what I'd been thinking about.

"I'm going to Destiny Islands. The Festival's today, you know."

I was about to walk off, but Riku said the only thing that could have stopped me in that moment. "The day you guys met again… that was the day of the Festival, too. It's been exactly a year since that day."

It was exactly a year since I should have realized, more than ever, that Kairi and I belonged together. If only I'd had the important memory. If only I hadn't scoffed at Kairi's words. Would that have somehow changed things when we were eight? I would go to Destiny Islands. Maybe I'd finally find the answers that had eluded me for so long.

…

Only shortly after my arrival, I was captivated by the beauty the world held even at nightfall. I couldn't resist the urge to bask in the warmth or grasp a handful of sand. _This_ was the kind of world that I would want to live in. As the sand ran through my fingers, I realized why that dream was as fleeting as the falling sand grains. I would never live here.

No, there was no life on the Islands without Kairi. There was no _life_ without Kairi.

It was funny, really. When I'd come here the first time under Marluxia's orders, I'd gone to Kairi's home so easily. Had scaled her house so easily. I hadn't even had my memories then! Now I felt as though my feet were lead. They were impossible to move, and definitely incapable of jumping. Maybe I didn't want to.

Maybe… just maybe, I should let myself sink in the sand and never come up. Kairi's spirit would surely rest on the Islands. Maybe mine should, too.

I was nothing but a masochist though. And somehow, I did find myself in her room again. I would have liked to believe that I was here to tell Mr. Cutie-Patootie and the destroyed Monsieur Moo what had befallen their master.

I certainly wasn't here to tell Kairi's parents. What would they say if they saw me? Did they have any inkling of what I'd done? Whatever that answer may be, I knew it was best to leave her parents in the dark. Nothing was more important than hope.

Nothing was more important than them not knowing how Kairi's goodness had led to her death. My death, too. It was all the same, really.

Maybe that's why I jumped onto Kairi's bed, and buried my face in her comforter. It reminded me of how she'd buried her face in her bed at Radiant Garden. Maybe I should go back there and paint it red like she'd wanted. I, unlike Kairi's parents, wouldn't be given the luxury of denial.

"_Kairi, sometimes I feel like all you do is countdown until the Festival. We were just there last year. We have about six months until it comes again. Why do you pass up opportunities to date other people?"_

_We had been twelve when this memory took place. Riku, of course, was thirteen. And we had all just gotten to dating age. Well… people in our grades had. Riku and I were still hesitant, but Kairi seemed against it. _

_Kairi paused from the Dreamcatcher she was repairing, and shot me a look across the lunch table. Anyone else would have been eating, but not Kairi. She was fixing her would-be little sister's (if the mayor did adopt the little girl) Dreamcatcher. _

_Even though Riku was piling food into his mouth (and had gotten cheese dip on Kairi), he too was looking at her in wonder. The way the sun spilled in through the open doors made Kairi look like an angel. And the cheese stain actually went along with it. _

_Riku and I probably looked dark sitting in the dark blue chairs facing Kai. "You know, he does have a point, Kairi," Riku said with a thankfully food free mouth. "You're the mayor's daughter. Most guys would probably go out with you if you weren't so picky."_

_Kairi stuck a tongue out at Riku, but she continued to sew the ripped pieces of the Dreamcatcher. However, I had the distinct feeling she was using it as an excuse to look down. "Look, it's not my problem that guys that ask me out just want a roll in the hay."_

"_Roll in the-" Even though I hadn't taken a bite of something since we began talking, I did somehow choke by hearing those words. Hearing those words about my best friend—my best friend I was realizing my feelings for—had not been a pleasant thing. Maybe that's why I tried to downplay it. "Where'd you come up with that idea? We're still quite young and-"_

"_The Festival's a good way to see people's character. I ask guys if they'll take me to the Festival, but if they refuse and ask me out another time, I know they're not worth it. The Festival's all about true love and soul mates, and if they don't want to go with me, that probably means they're not serious." _

_I could only look at Kairi in awe. How she'd come up with that, I wasn't sure. But it did make quite a bit of sense. Snatching Kairi's needle, thread, and Dreamcatcher away, I began mending it myself. I pointed at her food to tell her to eat. _

_Maybe that's why Riku got the last word in. "Kairi, that's a bit silly. Maybe people just can't go to the Festival. And we are young, you know. Who wants to be serious at dating now?"_

_As Kairi stuffed her own face with pizza bread, I couldn't help thinking she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen when she said, "That's why I will never take you to the Festival, Riku."_

The sound of firecrackers igniting in the sky was proof that the Festival was today. Almost unconsciously, I got up from Kairi's bed, jumped out of her window, and began heading for the Play Island.

Amazingly, it was our Play Island that hosted such an event. Mainly because there weren't any establishments there, and renovation was easy. Yes, it was the only time of year where we didn't have the Island to ourselves.

There were many people when I came across our spot, and it made me furious. Why did the Festival have to be today of all days? Couldn't I mourn Kairi in peace? If anything, I'd better find a dolphin to make up for it all. Yes, a dolphin was the only thing that would make things right.

So I went to the bent tree where we all sat, and I prayed to get splashed by a dolphin, but I knew I wouldn't take "no" for an answer this night. If I needed to, I would find a dolphin myself, and demand it take me to Kairi. Then I would bring her back and everything would be perfect!

In my delirium and numbness, I could almost convince myself that Riku hadn't killed Naminé. That Riku and her could live together happily, but more than that, Kairi and I could live together happily!

I don't know how long I sat there. I don't know how many happy thoughts I imagined. I reckoned I should have been flying by now. I had been exposed to pixie dust in my life; I was thinking happily. Maybe I did begin to levitate, I don't know. One thing I knew for sure: no dolphin was showing itself.

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. There hadn't been one when I came here after Marluxia's order. Any hope I had of seeing Kairi again was becoming unbelievable. I was waking up to the cold, bitter truth.

But so was Roxas. "_She's gone_," he said just as brokenly as I was. "_Xion's gone completely. I guess it makes sense since she was made out of your memories of Kairi; now that Kairi, and even Naminé are gone_…"

"We should go find Aqua." I said it, in some ways, as a joke. She was, after all, the only water maiden that was left. But I also said it seriously. If she was named after "water" maybe she could get a stinking dolphin to come to me.

Roxas apparently didn't hear the last bit of logic. "_You're more insane now then you were ever before_."

They say that doing crazy things, you think are sane, is what marks a crazy person. It works the opposite way, too. If you think you're crazy, it means you're not. A crazy person never thinks they're crazy.

I knew I was the exception. I was crazy, but I knew it.

Maybe that's what made me summon the X-Blade I still (annoyingly) had and throw it into the Lanes Between. As it had already been fading away without Naminé's power, I knew it would barely make it into space, but I didn't care.

I also threw Kairi's lucky charm. For too long, I'd been defined by those objects. If I couldn't exist anymore, they shouldn't exist with me either.

Of course I felt worse with the loss of them, but maybe I was aiming for that, I don't know. I was hurt and numb all at the same time.

"_Riku's pretty upset, you know," Kairi said as she rested her face in my chest. It was the common reaction to wrap my arms around her, but she wasn't even crying. It made me admire her strength, but she probably saw it as a weakness. "I can't believe he remembers I said that. _I_ don't even remember it! I was only joking, anyway. He should know I'd love to go to the Festival with him."_

"_Then why do you sound resigned, Kai?" Kairi moved away from me to look into my face, but I wasn't ready for the sudden movement. I plummeted to the floor right where she'd been sitting a moment prior. I'd never hated my grungy blue floor like I did in that moment. I probably looked like an idiot!_

_Thankfully, Kairi giggled and pulled me back up. I smiled at her, but there wasn't much truth in it. I was simultaneously frowning at the floor, but Kairi just patted me on the head. "You're so funny, Sor! How is it that you always know exactly how to cheer me up?"_

_Okay, that made me happy. Because even though I was acting as Kairi's best friend, it still hurt to hear her talking about going to the Festival with Riku. I still liked her very much, of course. Actually, I was starting to like her more than I ever had._

_Kairi must have noticed this, because she pulled on my hands as she stood up. When I too was standing, she led me over to my bed. We sat down, and her hands were still intertwined in mine when she said, "Sora, you know I was only asking Riku to go as friends. I was asking you to go, too. _Riku's_ the one who turned it into a dating issue."_

_In truth, I _had _forgotten that. I had let my insecurities get the better of me. Kairi was sweet, beautiful, my best friend… all the good things in the world wrapped up into one, really. So of course I'd see myself unworthy of her. _

_That didn't, however, mean I was yet willing to forgive Riku for all of this. "I can't believe he said, 'you said you'd never go with me'! Doesn't he know we always go as friends, that you _were_ joking when you said that, that I-" _

_I cut myself off, but it was too late. I knew Kairi had caught me beginning to say something I shouldn't. I guess that's why it was best to not be mad at Riku. In rants, one tends to have word vomit. I may or may not have just ruined things with Kairi. Maybe if I could discreetly pick up that book and start reading it-_

"_You _what_, Sora?"_

_Curse her! She was doing that thing with the batting eyelashes, but her eyes were all shimmer-y, too! She looked sexy, and sad all in one. There was no way I could deny her her answer, but I didn't have to tell the truth… "I'm furious at Riku. You're my best friend, and I don't value him hurting your feelings."_

"_Actually, I think I hurt _his_ feelings more than anything. I'm going to go apologize to him after I'm done here." _

_There was no other response. There was no other way to convey my confusion. I somewhat glared at her when I exclaimed, "Huh?" What had the point of this been if she was just going to apologize?_

_As if reading my mind (an annoying ability I was almost certain she had), Kairi giggled, and ruffled my hair. Ugh. I felt as though she were grooming her dog. "I was curious about your thoughts on the matter. You seemed the maddest out of all of us, you know. Actually, I wasn't mad at all."_

_Of course she wasn't. Add that to the list of amazing and infuriating ticks that made up Kairi. This had all been a game to her. A non-hurtful one, mind you, but a game nonetheless. "I wouldn't call it anger so much as a reaction?"_

_Why, oh why, did it have to come out a question? That, if nothing else, would show that I had been lying. To add insult to injury, Kairi was very sensitive to lies. She'd know I was lying, anyway. But now I was obviously caught in the act. I couldn't sweep it under the rug. Now I was ruffling my own hair in nervousness._

"_I think it's cute, you know," she said as she picked up the book that I almost had. She was flipping through the pages when she said, "It's so cute that you like me so selflessly."_

_And it was the empathies on the word "like" that had me reeling. How on Earth did she know that? She couldn't! Could she? We'd only ever been best friends to each other!_

"_Well," Kairi said as she made a show of swinging her legs over my bed, "I suppose I've been bad long enough. I'm going to go apologize to Riku. I'll see you at school tomorrow, Sora."_

_And with that, Kairi exited my room so freely; it was as if _she_ lived here. I was the one feeling out of place. But I couldn't help but smile at her retreating form. It had been a fun night, as always. Odd, but fun._

_I laid the _Sailor Moon_ manga back on my desk. I'd have to give it back to Kai, someday. She may have been _my_ Sailor Moon (the meatballs she'd worn as a kid was proof of this), but for now, I would happily flip through the pages and think of her._

I didn't even know what had happened to that comic. Maybe it had somehow been destroyed the day I lost myself: the day I lost her. Could it be washed up by the tide? If I found it, would there be a chance that Kairi could come back? Or was that another path that was lost to me forever? What would have happened if I'd returned the book to Kairi?

Why did it always seem like I had to spread her to thin? And now? And now…

_"Sora, what's wrong?" Riku asked as he came into my room just to see me sprawled on the floor crying. Riku instantly pulled me to my feet, and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Later I'd ponder if he had thought about hitting me. "Sora, focus. What's wrong? What's-"_

"_It's Kairi's blood thinner," I said as I tried my best to hold onto sanity, but was having a hard time keeping my grasp. If anything happened to Kairi…_

"_What about it, Sora? Kairi's had to take that ever since she was a child? How is that a ba-"_

_Riku trailed off when he saw me walking to my door. I didn't want to say it. I shouldn't have to. I didn't want it to become real! Maybe if I went to the hospital and visited her…_

"_Sora!" Riku was clearly losing his patience, but he was still being calm for me. He was being as good a friend he'd ever been. _

_That made my decision right there. Maybe if we could put our heads together… "She's developed Reye's Syndrome."_

_Dead silence. That's the only way to describe what transpired. We both knew what it was, of course. It was a possible fatal illness children on blood thinner had risk of. But Kairi wasn't a child anymore, and she knew how to monitor how much aspirin to take. So why…_

_As it was, Riku ran out the door before I did. I quickly followed him into the car he'd be illegally driving (he was only fifteen, after all), and we raced to the hospital. _

_I'd never forget what it had been like to get there and have Kairi's heart temporarily stop. All Riku and I could do was hold onto each other, because we both were going through the same thing; we were watching the girl we love die. In the end, she'd been rejuvenated. We'd even laughed about it other days, but that had been the scariest moment of my life._

Of course, that was nothing on how I'd felt when I held Kairi in my arms as she died.

And I couldn't deny the truth anymore. I couldn't outrun the pain. I fell off the broken tree, and onto the Island behind it. It was only fitting that Riku would be there. He held onto me as I cried like I never had before.

All the while, he said things like, "I wondered when you were going to crack," or "We just have to get through this."

But for me there was no getting through this.

There was no life without Kairi.

There was no _Light _without Kairi.

What's… What's happening to me? Falling… falling… into darkness.

**Author's Note: Get to the epilogue (next chapter), and you won't regret it. Promise.**

**Believe it or not, there were some important ties to next chapter in this.**

**This chapter was also necessary because it tied to the beginning. This is the "true" ending, but… well, you'll see.**

**Anyway, I **_**really**_** liked this chapter. The idea I came up with for the Festival, the way it was integrated into all the flashbacks (except the last one), and how it was going on in the present. I've been meaning to write something like that, and I'm glad I now have.**

**Also, I'm not a doctor. I actually researched the blood thinner stuff, but I could have gotten things wrong. Sorry.**

**Hope you enjoyed.**

**R&R.**

**One chapter left! Yay! **

**Oh! And this is called "Judgment" because the fire stuff is over. It's supposed to be about God's judgment on where we'll go when we die. And it also has to do with Riku's judgment on Naminé. **


	21. Epilogue: Phoenix

**Epilogue: Phoenix**

**(Terra's Point of View)**

Drifting. Darkness. I'd become so accustomed to both, but why did this seem different? Why did I feel like I had a purpose even as I faded from existence? Why did it feel like all I'd been in search of was so near?

That was a lie and false hope. Aqua was all I'd ever wanted. And I hadn't even been able to obtain that. If I could live again for one second, I'd make sure she knew what she was to me. More than that, I'd let her know that I didn't blame her for anything.

"_The Darkness… Where did it come from? Sorry… but I need some time alone." _

Aqua hadn't realized I'd seen the look on her face before I walked away. But I saw it all clearly. The fear, sadness, and worry. Was she sad worried about my feelings in not passing the Mark of Mastery? Or did she fear I'd turn to Darkness?

Whatever she feared, I was prepared to combat it. Even if it was the ladder… even if I had to stay away from her to save her from the Darkness.

In time, I'd come to think that Darkness wasn't bad, but was that really what I thought? Was that why I chose to distance Aqua and Ven from myself; or had I known then I was walking to my grave? Had I aimed to keep Aqua out of the crossfire?

Yes, that was it, wasn't it? My life had come to revolve around Aqua, but in the end, I'd only failed her. I hadn't kept her safe.

_"Terraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, will you please tell me what the Master and you were talking about?"_

_I laughed at Ven's obliviousness to his surroundings. Getting distracted was not an ideal choice in Capture the Flag. Regardless if he was on my team or not, I might just have to show him how careless he was being._

"_Ven, focus on Aqua's ice shards and less on getting grounded!" __It was odd that Aqua was using Blizzard magic to defend her side; the cold was more befitting of the Darkness, and considering what I'd learned from the Master…_

Bam! _That was the sound of me getting pelted on the forehead and falling to the ground. "Terra!" Ven and Aqua exclaimed simultaneously. The Master had stepped away from defending Aqua's side for a moment. Maybe if I could…_

"_What did you say, Ter?" Ven asked with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. He'd clearly heard what I'd said in my delirious state. I'd just found out! It was supposed to be a secret, and now…_

_Aqua looked between the two of us curiously, but she left rather quickly. I knew undoubtedly she'd gone to get the Master. After all, healing magic couldn't fix inner injuries, or so Aqua had said plenty of times._

_I was seriously fighting the urge to roll up in the grass, and never come out after this day. "So, Aqua's a Princess of Heart?" Ven asked quickly when Aqua was out of earshot. He clearly knew this would be his one and only chance to hear the news._

"_No, Ven. She _could_ be if one of the other Princesses died. She has no Darkness in her heart, apparently. But since she chose to be a Keyblade wielder, and Princesses aren't intended to fight, the Light made her more of an alternate. The Master has charged me with keeping her safe."_

_I probably could have been bleeding profusely, and Ven wouldn't have noticed with the new information swirling around in his head. "Wow," he said as he stretched out on the grass, too. He was fiddling with a loose thread from his shirt when he said, "Does that mean she's our Princess? She's from here, isn't she?"_

_Even as my head throbbed viscously, I couldn't help but laugh at how silly Ven could be. Even if she _were_ a Princess, Aqua would probably beat us all up if we treated her like a damsel in distress. "No. With the worlds divided, not many people remember about the Princesses; no one makes them royal anymore. Still, a lot of them are royal blood by chance. But it's not because they're a Princess of Heart. Although… they do attract princes a lot… Anyway, Aqua is from another world like us, anyway."_

_Maybe that's why she was so spectacular. Maybe that's why I loved her. Maybe… that's why I didn't deserve her. Ven hit the nail on the head when he said, "It makes me want to be careful around her now. If she's a PoH, what must she think about some of the stuff we do?"_

_She didn't care. She thought we were the greatest things in the world no matter what. She was wrong. _I_ was wrong. "Ven you're Lighter than laundry detergent. I wouldn't worry if I were you," I plucked some grass off the ground and threw it on his face._

_But with the action, despite the lightness, _I _was worried. I had Darkness, I made stupid mistakes, I was self-righteous…_

I messed everything up. But it didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. I was fading from existence, but I didn't want to. Someone at least needed to know about Aqua. Someone at least needed to know to help her.

_Aqua was wearing an ice blue dress, as the Master went over what kind of ceremony we might have when we obtained the Mark of Mastery. I could tell it took everything Aqua had to not get up and begin doing the Salsa. She was so _happy_. _

_I shivered in my tux. Was it because Aqua was a Princess that she liked wearing dresses so much? I felt so uncomfortable in a tuxedo, so did that mean…_

"_Master, I can't help feeling that this is similar to one's Graduation," Ven exclaimed as he shifted uncomfortably in his jacket and tie._

_The Master smiled at Ven, but Aqua smiled at me. "Well you see, Ventus, Keyblade Masters have been around since the beginning of the time. Back then there were a lot more formal occasions. We've forgone many of them, but we still keep-"_

"_Master, would it be okay if Terra and I head out now? We have heard this story every year, after all." Aqua said a bit sheepishly._

_It proved that Aqua was Master Eraqus' favorite that he let us do just that. Only Aqua could get away with interrupting the Master, and many _other_ things…_

_I wasn't exactly paying attention when Aqua took me outside and sat with me in the Fore Court. She splashed in the bit of water we had, and even though she was making a mess of herself, she looked adorable. "The Master really wants to lay it on thick for Ven. I'm just glad that he allowed us to come out here. I think it's the bored expression you were wearing that convinced him, Terra."_

_That pulled me out of my reverie right there. I walked over to Aqua, but ended up nearly falling with the slick water. Aqua laughed as she steadied me. "You'll get your sea legs eventually."_

_Embarrassed, I thought it best to change the subject. "Well, I know that the Master's taken it upon himself to prepare us for the Mark of Mastery to the best of his ability. I also know that Ven hasn't been here nearly as long as us, but you're kidding yourself, Acqu. Master Eraqus really doesn't care to teach Ven how to act at the ceremony. He did it because _you_ asked him to." _

_Aqua gave me a look as she purposefully stepped away from me. Still, she ended up walking forward, and forcing me to twirl her. She was still laughing when she said, "You're _so_ dense, Terra. _You're_ the Master's favorite. He thinks of you like a son. He does so much to convince you of your worth. Why is it that you don't believe in yourself?"_

_And I was incredulous. Red colored my cheeks; I had to stop my Keyblade from appearing when I snapped at Aqua for some ungodly reason. "I _do_ believe in myself. I know I'm stronger than you and Ven. I know I'm the one most likely to be given the Mark. I know what I'm worth, Aqua. I don't need you telling me it."_

_I'd expected her own self-righteous anger. I expected her to hit me and call me an idiot. I _did_ not expect her to cover her hand over her heart and look so broken. I had the bizarre feeling that Aqua would never ballroom dance again." You're wrong, Terra. Those are all just facts, but the things you don't know for sure make you self-loathing. And you shouldn't be that, Terra. You're the most capable, Lightest person I know. You're also my-"_

_Whatever I was to her, I didn't know. She quickly pecked me on the lips, before running away. As she traversed through the water I'd had trouble with earlier, I knew I wouldn't catch her. But for once I believed I would._

When I saw a Light in the otherwise impenetrable Darkness, my first thought was that it was Aqua, but that was ridiculous. Still, I swam forward until I got somewhat closer to it, but with every move I made, I seemed to be getting further away.

Ah, it was fading, too.

And it was as if that realization were the key. As soon as I realized how alike we were, the foreign object came hurtling towards me. I grasped it in my hands before I even realized what it was, but then I just wanted to throw it away again.

The X-Blade.

The stupid Keyblade that had ruined so many people's lives. The stupid Key that people had laid down their lives trying to claim. Why, oh why, would it come to me now? Was it trying to stir Xehanort within me? I'd beaten him down, but would this awaken him?

Yes, yes it would. Or at least his thoughts. Out of my control, statistics, facts, and stupid ambitions came spiraling back to me. This was the Heart of all Worlds, this was Kingdom Hearts' opener. This was what Ven, Vanitas, and that kid Sora had manifested.

Sora… how was it that I'd messed up his life, too? I regretted that above all else, perhaps. That I made Riku like me. That Sora and Kairi had had to follow Ven and Aqua's paths.

And Sora loved Kairi, and Xehanort—I—had led to the love's destruction. Ultimately to Kairi's death.

That girl was so much like Aqua! I knew for a fact that Aqua had given her the power. That somehow Kairi was her generation's Aqua. And Sora loved her like I loved Aqua. Like Aqua could have loved me. And despite Sora being more like Ven (had Ven loved Aqua, too?), I couldn't help but feel their love was a mirror to Aqua's and mine.

Or maybe Aqua's and Ven's. I'd clearly ruined our love story, but would they have fallen in love? Had I messed up so badly, that I'd changed fate's design? What would have happened if I'd listened to Aqua? What would have happened if I'd followed her? If I'd gone with her that time when she met Kairi.

_Time_. What was time, but something governed by each world? What were mere minutes, but the sea lapping the shore? Whatever the reason, I had the X-Blade now. I held all the worlds in my hand, and through that I held their time.

And maybe it was my sadness for the children that made me decide. Maybe it was Sora and Kairi's story. Maybe it was how the kids had only tried to help us. Or maybe I knew that Sora would somehow fix things. Whatever the reason, I bid Kingdom Hearts my request.

_Time flows without pause, in a world where I no longer exist._

**I've been having these weird thoughts lately: like is any of this for real or not? **

**(Sora's Point of View)**

_"Sora, you have a choice. You can lose your memories of this castle and reclaim your old ones… or keep your memories here and give up the memories that you've lost."_

_"Make me like I was."_

…

Kairi was standing over me again. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. She'd taken it upon herself to do this every chance she got. Ever since I'd come home from defeating Xemnas with Riku, it seemed as though she was trying to hold onto something she couldn't see.

I, too, felt the need to hold onto something, but I didn't know what. It was sort of disconcerting. "Don't you ever get tired of standing there and watching me sleep?"

I asked this as I rolled over into the sand again. Maybe if she thought I was tired, it would show her she should be tired of doing this. Or not. She kicked sand in my face, and I may have swallowed a grain or two, but it was all in good fun. I'd missed that cheekiness. When we were in The World That Never Was, she'd seemed more somber.

"I'll have you know that I'm only bothering you because your friend Naminé's bothering me!"

Right. Because she wasn't closer to Nami by being her. To prove this point, I leaped to my feet and tackled the fetching redhead into the sand. Now it was her turn to spit out sand. "What was that for?" Kairi said whilst failing to hold back a laugh. "I bruise easily, you know."

"Actually, I get the distinct feeling that you're stronger than you know." Now I was leaning over her, and as I moved her bangs from her eyes, it felt as though I'd done this numerous times before. But it had to have been in my dreams or something, because I felt as though I'd done this when I was older.

"Then why won't you let me come with you?" Kairi lamented as she threw a duplicate lucky charm on my chest. Why did the duplicate seem familiar? Why did-

"Kairi," I began as I forced the lucky charm back into her grasp so we could remain connected. "That letter the King sent me, the new adventure I'm supposed to go on, does that have to do with why Naminé bothered you?"

It was mad to think that- Impossible even! But why else would my dreams be so vivid and real? Why would I have dreamed about hurting Kairi, of loving her after all I'd done to her… why would I have dreamed of her dying in my arms? Why-

"You're not insane, Sora," Kairi said as she cupped my chin, and looked into the eyes I was so desperate to hide. The sun burnt my eyes, and it reminded me of how the Light had hurt me in those dreams. "Naminé thinks she might have uncovered more memories in all of us, but she doesn't want to talk about it. I'm getting the impression that she doesn't want it to have been real. That she has things she's ashamed of."

And as it didn't seem that Kairi knew what I did, it had to be me that let this crazy thought out. Even though I didn't want the alternate universe to be real either. "Kairi, do you believe in time travel?"

The girl I'd loved since I was a boy crawled out from under me at that. Looking at me curiously, she put a hand on my shoulder when she said, "Well, seeing as how you did go to that past Disney Castle, I'm going to have to say 'yes'. Does that mean-"

"All of that stuff happened to us in a different time line? I'm assuming so." Saying the words tasted like acid on my mouth. To think that Vanitas—through me—had abused Kairi. To think I'd chosen Naminé over her! How could I have even trusted her in that timeline?

"I died over there, didn't I?" There was that, too. And that was probably the one thing I wanted to forget above anything. The thing I wish had never happened. The thing I hated myself for.

To say that I was shocked when Kairi jumped into my arms would be an understatement. We were so innocent here. We'd yet to tell each other we liked each other. And even though I know some of the same memories had happened here, I was shocked to have her kissing me nonetheless.

I quickly relaxed though. And I held her head to get her closer; I wrapped an arm around her waist so I wouldn't lose her. I would never lose her like I had in that other life. Not if I could help it!

Maybe that was why I was surprised when she pulled away from me. "Kairi, what's-"

"Do you think Vanitas is inside of you now? We know from that letter that Ven is, but-"

"Then I'll save him, too. He wasn't evil, as we discovered, and so far I don't think he's really hurt anyone if he _is_ within me, but it's the better alternative that I save him. I don't want his misdeeds to be unleashed again."

Kairi slumped against me; she rested her head on my shoulder when she said, "And that's why you're leaving me behind, isn't it? You think it's dangerous for me to be near you. But it's not. I can defend myself!" And it was clear by the way she stopped her begging, that she'd realized what the real problem was. Now she looked resigned.

"The real problem Kai, is that you were a warrior in that world. And in that world you died. I'll keep you away from as much danger as I can here. I _won't_ lose you after everything."

"It really was us, you know," Kairi said after an immeasurable amount of time. As the sun had begun to set, we'd realized we didn't want to ruin the moment with words, but all too soon I'd leave again. All too soon we wouldn't be able to talk. "That time we made love, it wasn't Vanitas controlling you. He might have empowered you, but it was still you."

Cue the giant weight being lifted off my shoulders. I smiled. And Kairi kissed my neck a bit before I was able to articulate what I wanted to say. "I'm glad for that Kai, but why did you go along with it? I was somewhat possessed. I imagine that's why I couldn't remember the event, so why…"

There was a long pause, and thanks to my full knowledge of Kairi (that I'd regained easily in this world), I knew she was debating on whether to be silly or serious. In the end, she seemed to have decided on both. "Because I could use the drunk excuse, but mainly because I loved you. And even then, despite how young we were, I was ready."

And I smiled at that, too. I leaned my head on Kairi's, as we watched this last sunset together. At least for the time being, anyway. I was barely aware that I was talking when I said, "Things were a lot heavier in that place, but I wonder if it was better that way. There we had a better handle on who we are, and what we didn't want to lose. Here… well, we're just now admitting that we love each other."

And as Kairi cried at that, I was _so _very glad that in this world, at least, she hadn't had to cry nearly as much as she did over there. But I would take her tears of happiness any day. I'd say, "I love you" any day. As long as I could make her happy. As long as I could get her through this hard time.

"No," Kairi said a bit choked up. "It's better this way. We're only sixteen, and we've been through tremendous tragedy. But here we have the ability to set things right. Here we got the chance to learn from our mistakes. Death didn't allow that over there.

"But mostly we get to be _us_ here. We get to laugh, and be innocent, and fun despite our responsibilities. We can live in the Realm of Light despite the Darkness, but above all else, I can rightfully love you without the fear of losing you. And I can see that the world can heal itself. And we know all the right choices now. And the people here are better. All that's left…"

"All that's left is to reconnect the pieces." Okay, in all honesty, Kairi may not have heard "the pieces" bit, as her lips were suddenly occupied, but I couldn't help feeling she'd read my mind again.

Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough. I'd defeat Xehanort one last time, and then we could all be happy. We could all love together. There'd be a healing process, but above all else, I'd return to see Kairi waving at me, and smiling as I swam to her. It had always been my dream, and this time it would happen. This time I would set things right, and it'd be my knowledge through Kairi that allowed me to do so.

_Maybe he can set things right. _

…

Kairi was repairing the odd scratches I'd gotten, as Donald and Goofy loaded the Gummi Ship. It was weird wearing bandages when I could have just used healing magic, but I wasn't going to stop Kairi. I knew full well that she wanted to do this. "Last night's kind of blurry, but I remember you falling in the sand and staying there for awhile. It almost seemed as though you wanted it to consume you," Kairi said with a laugh, as she helped me put eye drops into my eyes from the stinging sand.

As it was, last night was quite blurry for me, too. But I felt at peace. I'd had information I wasn't supposed to know, and it had left as soon as I received it, but I knew it would come back. And because of it, I was somehow closer to Kai than ever before. "You really didn't have to stay up all night getting me medical supplies," I said as I paused her handy work, and held her hands in mine.

Kairi blushed at that, and swept some of her hair behind her ear. Very softly, she said, "I wanted to contribute in some way."

And at her cuteness, I couldn't help but kiss her forehead. Afterwards, I rested my forehead against hers for awhile. "I'm going to miss you, Kai. I'll write whenever I can. But don't be at the Play Island too much. Don't neglect your homework!"

And it was me that was the first one to laugh at that. "Gosh, I sound like your mom!"

"Well, you're not my mom. And I am so… _so _glad for that!"

"I wouldn't have been able to share a paopu with you if I wa-"

"Are you two done spooning?" Riku asked with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder, and a raised eyebrow. Naturally, Kairi and I broke apart immediately.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit jealous when Kairi exclaimed Riku's name, and ran into his arms. Riku sighed at the contact, and I did everything in my power to give the two their moment.

As I walked over to Donald and Goofy, I distinctly heard Riku tell Kairi to take care of herself. And Kairi, oh so bluntly said, "Watch out for Sora. He's a lost cause without someone guiding him."

I shrugged the "offending" comment off with a smile, and hugged my two, amazing anthropomorphic friends. The hug was a bit awkward. Mainly because I had leaned down to hug Donald, but Goofy leaned down to hug my stomach. As I tried to pat Goofy's cheek, I may have accidentally slapped him in the face. But Goofy, being Goofy, just laughed it off. "You know, I think I owe you guys something. It seems like you were there for me in another lifetime. That you were the only ones to never give up on me."

"Well," Donald said as he tapped his foot, and quacked once, "we did help Data Sora through a tough time or two. Didn't we explain that in our letter?"

And because Donald and I were frienemies at the best of times, I got right down in his face when I said, "No, no, no. I'm not talking about how you, Goofy, Jiminy, and the King decided to play with a Data version of me, as if you were little girls, and I was your doll." Donald glared at me, but Goofy and Jiminy just laughed. "I'm talking about another time I barely remember."

My three friends shrugged indifferently at the question, but I wasn't surprised when Kairi came up behind me and encircled her arms around my waist. Maybe it was just her and me (and probably Riku) that remembered, but it didn't matter.

Riku gave me a quick nod; he then entered what would become our home with everyone else. As I nodded back at him, I knew we said more this way than we could ever speak aloud. _Thank you for always having my back despite what I can be like._

But of course my attention finally returned to Kairi. And with no witnesses, I did what I'd wanted to do since Kairi revived me in Hollow Bastion. I kissed her.

Kairi was shocked at first, but she responded quickly. She wove her hands in my hair, and I pressed her closer to me. Her foot even popped liked I'd seen the other princesses' do, but it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough, and I had to pull away for too soon for my liking.

But maybe… maybe that was what made our love so strong. Through the obstacles we'd overcome, there was no way we'd ever take for granted the time we did have. I ran a hand through her hair when I said, "I'll come back to you, I promise."

Kairi smiled radiantly, as she caught me off guard and kissed me one more time. Her hand rested on my cheek when she said, "I know you will."

And even though I was going to Castle Oblivion again, even though I knew this mission would break me down in ways, I was certain of one thing:

I could never forget Kairi.

I looked at her lucky charm as I walked away. Unknown to me, Kairi looked at the duplicate she made exactly when I did. And she didn't cry.

She smiled.

**The End**

**Author's Note: ****"No, no, no. I'm not talking about how you, Goofy, and the King decided to play with a Data version of me, as if you were little girls, and I was your doll." – Yeah. I feel like that would be a weird thing for the Disney Castle people to ever explain to Sora. LOL.**

"**Time flows without pause, in a world where I no longer exist." – Lightning from FFXIII-2. I trust you know where the other quotes come from. Hahaha. **

**And I hope it's obvious, but Terra used the X-Blade to send Sora back in time to correct his mistakes. So now this story is Canon, and caught up to wherever **_**3D **_**might begin. So that means, CadeXHybrid, that this is the best story that **_**did**_** ever happen. LOL. At least in my mind.**

**And no, there will not be a sequel, sadly. That'd be getting too much into KH3 territory, and we're still in the dark about how that will go. So when KH3 comes out, just play the game, but imagine the characters remembering these events in "another life". LOL.**

**You know, I feel like this epilogue is three parts. The first part being Terra finally having his side explained, the second being Sora and Kairi reclaiming their memories and talking about it, and the third being the gang about to set off, and everyone having the memories be blurry again.**

**I have to say, that I'm a mix of emotions right now. In some ways, I'm so excited to move onto something new, but I'm also going to miss this story. It's become such a part of me!**

**And I never thought this day would come. I never even thought I'd explore this story, and I owe it all to you wonderful reviewers!**

**So thank you, SPAS, CadeXHybrid, Kutlessrocker, RaiOokami, Sakura088, SootyThunder, Madax, Java Patchouli, HopelessRomantic1818, janus-juan, 0Wishful-Thoughts0, Don't Shoot the Puppy, dbzgtfan2004, and LittleCrazyKairi for everything! This never would have happened without you.**

**Thank you to all my alerters, favoriters, and readers as well!**

**And I have time for two more random things. If anyone got early access to Pottermore, I'm WildMahogany212 there.**

**And also, if you're a RokuShi fan, you might want to check out my new video. I'm MovingOnMjrn on YouTube, and the video is, "Just Forget the World (RokuShi)". It uses in-game scenes, and dialogue.**

**And incase I haven't said it enough, THANK YOU all for your support. You've all been a blessing and I hope you have blessed lives.**

**And maybe, we'll meet again on another one of my KH projects eventually.**

**May the light guide you.**

**-Shanna**

**P.S. I'm kinda surprised I got this done before my nineteenth birthday on August 26****th****. I wasn't expecting that… **

**And if you're looking for another good story to read, read "White Knight" by ****The Infinite Dani-Chan Replika.** It's my favorite fanfiction EVER! And it's a similar genre to this one. It has all our favorite characters, and it's under the Ven/Naminé section (though it's about Aqua more). She blends AU and Canon flawlessly. You won't regret reading it. LOL. 


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